Check out this website. Its a good resource for women shooters
http://corneredcat.com/TOC.aspx#FirstGun
My wife went with an M&P 9mm with the small grip inserts. Like most people, she found it easier to shoot well than the subcompact version. I'd be wary of certain .380's. Blowback single stack autos like P232 and PPK can have sharp recoil impulse that some don't like. Double stacks like a Beretta or CZ83 are very easy to manage though.
Instead of using the slide lock have her use hand over slide method while she pushes the frame forward. See Cornered Cat link
http://corneredcat.com/RunGun/rack.aspx If she can't for whatever reason then she can't properly manipulate the firearm anyways. That's when maybe a revolver may be a better choice.