My family is Sicilian and I can tell you that you have to have thick skin to make it in that household.
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I had a short stint on base back in 2018. One of my best friends from high school lives just off post and knows the guy from having frequented the establishment throughout his military career. He was offensive and had an in your face attitude, pulled no punches when it came to something he didn't like. You come in there with an attitude, and he'd boot you out the door. Come in there and be respectful, and he would be courteous (sorta) in return. It was no secret around there that he didn't care for certain demographics of the population, and I believe it was an off limits establishment. That still didn't stop off duty Soldiers from eating there. The food there was outstanding.
You say that like it's a bad thing. Private business and "we reserve the right" and all that. Hell try being a FFL, the agency I answer to "strongly suggests" I refuse to complete a sale if a female is there buying a gun but is with a male and she is asking him questions. I have a complete laundry list of potential scenarios where I am supposed to suspect a "straw purchase" and refuse to complete a transaction.
If a government agency can pass laws and encourage me to turn away business without an actual evidence of a prohibited person, certainly a guy who owns his own spot can say "No sandwich for you."
I've been in a couple establishments where I was made to not feel welcome...guess what...I left. I didn't call the news. I didn't report them to my congressman, I just went someplace else where they wanted my business.
People have way too much time on their hands to get worked up over stuff like this.
And they are idiots.
Imagine the food you get when you force someone to make a sandwich, or a wedding cake or to Cater your Wedding. You've forced someone to serve you when they dispise you.
So what kind of tastey treats are you going to get in your lunch bag? A little pooh, some boogers or snot?
Indeed. This is why I usually slightly OVER-tip, and bring candy canes and even make up treat bags for consistent Extra Mile-ers around Christmas. You never know what's going to be the difference between a waitress telling you "hey, you might wanna skip anything fried today, Larry peed in the vat" vs just keeping quiet... or someone seeing an allergic reaction waiting to happen on your plate and making the cook fix it before you even have a chance to know.
You'd think that with me being the sole preparer of food in the house, my mother would learn this instead of going out of her way to make my life as difficult as possible...