Find the nearest Resident Evil fanboy and tell them that your willing to make them an offer they can't refuse. Hand them a $100 and your lower, then start fresh.
"Arms are the only true badge of liberty. The possession of arms is the distinction of a free man from a slave." - Andrew Fletcher, 1698
"You cannot invade the mainland United States. There would be a rifle behind each blade of grass." - Admiral Isoroku Yamamoto
"Among Other Evils Which Being Unarmed Brings You, It Causes You To Be Despised." - The Prince, Nicolo Machiavelli