My go to defensive round in my carry pistol (G26 gen4) and HD pistol (G17 or G34 gen4) is the Speer Gold Dot 124+p. All my pistols are 100% reliable with it and very accurate. It can be a little snappy in a small pistol but its a hot round that always seems to perform very well. A close 2nd is the Federal HST 124+p. Not as hot or snappy but still shoots well.
I've even carried HST 147+p and have a couple boxes in ammo cans as backup if I cant get Gold Dots or HST 124+p. Some people don't like the 147 loads in 9mm. They tend to make the decision based on old data. Modern 147's are a very viable option. I prefer the 124+p but certainly wouldn't feel underpowered with 147's, especially the 147+p HST.
I carry a G19 loaded with either 135gr+p federal bonded or 147 HST. I've always been able to find and practice with the american eagle 147gr and they always feel similar.
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