My wife likes revolvers but knows nothing about guns. I went searching for a revolver that could handle .38 SPL +P and I knew would have gentle recoil w/o being too big and heavy. So, I was looking for empty weights north of 20 oz and hopefully south of 32. I got her a S&W 386 Night guard which is a 7 shot scandium frame .357. On the surface that sounds bad...but its unloaded weight is mid-20 ozs, has a full grip and excellent combat sights.
She has now attended a 2 day defensive handgun course with it at FAS with no issues. Recoil with the 135g +P Gold Dot load is no big deal. I would suggest you steer her strongly away from any airweight .38 and into something like the model 60, doesn't matter .38 or .357, just needs to be over 20 oz.
I absolutely hated shooting standard pressure .38 loads through an airweight J frame and I like .44 magnum recoil in a full size revolver.
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How about the tried and true FBI load?
Federal 158gr lead semi wadcutter hollow point, standard pressure.
Having instructed a few novices in shooting, I've observed that the 2 inch 38 is not the best choice with which to begin instruction. One reason is blast and jump; another is the short sight radius. Often frustration hinders mastery. I fear that at this stage ammo choice may not be the limiting issue. I'm assuming that the lady is not a shooter.
My experience has been that lighter weight bullets in .38 spl produce much less recoil even in +p ammo.
For novices I've found a lightly loaded 125 gr SWC good for training / practice. I like wadcutter's too but they are clumsier to load into the chambers.
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