How to respond to a racist tirad ?

[yoni]

I was discussing the Philando Castile shooting with a friend, who has been in multiple shootings in 2 countries but was never a cop.

Me I have been a cop in 2 countries full time, plus hold a commission in a 3rd from when I was training their elite units.

I have problems with the actions of the officer, which need not be detailed for this thread.

My friend went off on me calling me a liberal, "N" lover, and a bunch of other vile names. He also said the cop should have shot all 3 people in the vehicle.

I will not put how I responded here at this point in time.

But I would love to know how you would respond to this?

[Hmac]

If I had been unwise enough to start the conversation in the first place, I would have promptly disengaged and walked away. Nothing good or productive would come from furthering the discussion at that point.

[ramairthree]

Just say,
"Dude,
You are way more emotionally invested in this than me. We were not there."

And go back to your friendship before the argument.

[SomeOtherGuy]

I was discussing the Philando Castile shooting with a friend, who has been in multiple shootings in 2 countries but was never a cop.
***
My friend went off on me calling me a liberal, "N" lover, and a bunch of other vile names. He also said the cop should have shot all 3 people in the vehicle.

I literally never call friends insulting names in a serious manner. People may vary, but that to me would put a hold on the friendship at the least.

[rero360]

I have worked with other soldiers who have that mentality, how you respond is all based on the situation, me personally I couldn't be friends with someone like that, that much hate is toxic, in my case, I keep professional relationships going but end or prevent friendships from developing.

[Arik]

Just say,
"Dude,
You are way more emotionally invested in this than me. We were not there."

And go back to your friendship before the argument.

If he's a real friend then this ^.



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[WillBrink]

I was discussing the Philando Castile shooting with a friend, who has been in multiple shootings in 2 countries but was never a cop.

Me I have been a cop in 2 countries full time, plus hold a commission in a 3rd from when I was training their elite units.

I have problems with the actions of the officer, which need not be detailed for this thread.

My friend went off on me calling me a liberal, "N" lover, and a bunch of other vile names. He also said the cop should have shot all 3 people in the vehicle.

I will not put how I responded here at this point in time.

But I would love to know how you would respond to this?

I'd have a difficult time calling him or viewing him as a friend at that point. I also wouldn't have a problem with saying "I am a N lover in fact, but it does not change the fact patterns of this event" or something like that. With friends like that....

[KTR03]

WHy would you want to be friends with someone who uses that language and advocates shooting innocent people (like the 4 year old in the back seat). The company we keep says a lot about us. A good friend of mine was in a similar situation when a racist joke was told. He responded "what have I ever put out there that makes you think that I would find that funny". I thought that was a good way of taking ownership of the conversation.

[Det-Sog]

New friends.

[Bulletdog]

What he said is not something a "friend" would say, and not the behavior or language of someone I would wish to be friends with.

Having addressed that part, if I were engaged in such a conversation with an acquaintance, I would calmly and methodically deconstruct their statements and make them understand the absurdity, ignorance and callousness of such stupidity. I like a good verbal wrestling match. Those statements show a clear sense of frustration and history in dealing with this sort of thing, and understanding those prior events and this person's take on those prior events would help me to understand where they are coming from and how to convince them how, where and why they are wrong to make such ridiculous statements. You clearly got an emotional over-reaction and touched a nerve. I'd want to know what that nerve is and come at it from a different way.

Sometimes I succeed. Most of the time I fail. Many times the person disengages when they sense my victory is near and their irrational arguments have been defeated. Even when I fail, I have often planted a seed that will later bear fruit. Even if they don't agree with me 100%, I can usually scratch the surface, or get some sensible points across. A favorite example is my repetition of the discussion between Bill O'reilly and Bob Costa. Bill paints him into a very uncomfortable corner and Bob squirms and squirms as he tries to avoid the question at around 3:45 and weasels his way around the question until about 6:30, when he successfully changes the subject.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4CIp4nKDqsU