I'm getting a dad bod

[0uTkAsT]

This seems like a helpful subforum so I figured I'd solicit some honest, down to earth help from you guys. I've been searching online for weeks but there's so much conflicting information out there and so many people trying to sell you something that I just don't trust what I'm reading most of the time.

Background: I'm 5'7"-5'8" and my weight naturally hovered right around 165lbs for 12+ years. I've always been of average build and never had to "work" to stay that way. I'm not a runner, and for all intents and purposes I've never been in a gym - I actually don't even have a gym where I live. I have a desk job (work from home) and I'm not very athletic, but that has been the case since I graduated college. I have been doing ~15 minutes of simple bodyweight exercises 6-7 days a week (pushups, bicycle crunches, burpees, etc) since I was about 22 and it's always been enough to keep me content with my appearance. I eat pretty much whatever, but try to use common sense and do it in moderation. I drink a lot but I've been trying to keep that in check ever since I started gaining weight.

Problem: I'm not doing anything differently now, but it's obviously not working any more. Since I turned 29, I've started experiencing all kinds of changes in body shape and hormones, and I've started packing on pounds. My thighs and gut are getting flabby and what I used to call pecs are becoming legit man boobs, but my hips, ass, arms and calves have actually melted away to nothing - I've actually dropped a full pants size and my shirts are getting baggy on the shoulders, while I'm gaining weight. WTF I'm now 30, a single dad, and my weight is approaching 200.

What I'm doing: I just started the beginner level program from a free Android app called Spartan Bodyweight and I'm struggling to stick with it. I'm feeling a little better (more energy, etc) but I'm afraid it's not going to be enough.

Questions: Besides a 70 mile round trip to a real gym with a personal trainer and dealing with a babysitter, etc. what are some other things I need to start doing to start shedding weight and then keeping it in check permanently?
Do I need an entirely new at-home routine? Do I need to double or triple the amount of time I'm dedicating to my existing routine?
Do the calorie counting phone apps work? Where should I start as a base line (1,800-1,900 calories a day, etc)?
I've never read food labels before - what exactly do I need to start looking for? Obviously calories but what about fat, sugars, etc?

I'm all ears and I seriously appreciate any helpful info and advice.

[militarymoron]

This reminds me of the other active thread going on: https://www.m4carbine.net/showthread...pony-keg-at-37

...where 'middle age', changes in metabolism and responsibilities for a child can sneak up and now you're out of shape. It's happened to me. Since you and I are the same height, if I were in your situation (weighing close to 200), I'd to to the doctor and get a physical and blood panel to look at your numbers. Then go from there. Much more knowledgeable folk here will chime in I'm sure.

But, it won't hurt to start cutting down on foods you know are bad, like fried foods etc RIGHT NOW. You know what foods are good and bad for you - it's the discipline to eat healthier in the beginning that's the tough part. IMHO, don't go on the latest 'crash diet' - make a gradual lifestyle change that you can stick to. If I had to break it down, I'd say that it's 5% cardio, 5% resistance training, 30% diet, and 60% mindset/determination to stick to the other three (I'm just making a point at how critical the mental aspect of it is, from my own experience as a 'normal' guy).

[PattonWasRight]

I'm 57 and yeah, to maintain the appearance I like it's all been about eating less calories / calorie dense food.

I still work out the same, although have traded some weight workouts for swim workouts

Sounds like you have hit that point. It's not rocket science, just takes discipline.

Your days of "freedom" are behind you now.

[0uTkAsT]

This reminds me of the other active thread going on: https://www.m4carbine.net/showthread...pony-keg-at-37

I did read through that thread, but I thought his situation and goals were different enough from mine to warrant a separate thread. I'm not trying to get super lean and cut, I just need to drop 30+ lbs and keep it off.

...where 'middle age', changes in metabolism and responsibilities for a child can sneak up and now you're out of shape. It's happened to me. Since you and I are the same height, if I were in your situation (weighing close to 200), I'd to to the doctor and get a physical and blood panel to look at your numbers. Then go from there. Much more knowledgeable folk here will chime in I'm sure.

Man, this is the truth. The bit about going to the doctor isn't a bad idea... other than my daughter's pediatrician, I haven't stepped foot in a doctor's office for... shit... 9, maybe 10 years? I can't even remember.

But, it won't hurt to start cutting down on foods you know are bad, like fried foods etc RIGHT NOW. You know what foods are good and bad for you - it's the discipline to eat healthier in the beginning that's the tough part. IMHO, don't go on the latest 'crash diet' - make a gradual lifestyle change that you can stick to. If I had to break it down, I'd say that it's 5% cardio, 5% resistance training, 30% diet, and 60% mindset/determination to stick to the other three (I'm just making a point at how critical the mental aspect of it is, from my own experience as a 'normal' guy).

Thanks for that. I'm good at cutting things cold turkey so my self-discipline is pretty good. I quit smoking without assistance 7 years ago and quit drinking soda and energy drinks entirely about 8 months ago. I do have a sweet tooth, beer and whiskey are my best friends, and I get gnarly Chinese food cravings every now and then Those will be my biggest challenges.

I'm 57 and yeah, to maintain the appearance I like it's all been about eating less calories / calorie dense food.

Can you explain what you mean by calorie dense? I'm assuming you mean things with larger portion sizes per a given number of calories? Sorry, I'm new to all this terminology.

I still work out the same, although have traded some weight workouts for swim workouts

Sounds like you have hit that point. It's not rocket science, just takes discipline.

Yeah, I wish I had a pool! I'd be in it every day if I did. I'm 35 miles south of Phoenix in the middle of the desert, so the closest pool is in a town called Maricopa and you have to pay for memberships and such. I'm not all down for that.

Your days of "freedom" are behind you now.

Absolutely. My daughter is going on 4 now, I can't even take a shit without her knocking on the door to "check on me". Her mom and I are still married but she's not really in the picture, so I take on 85% of all the responsibilities. And working from home has been both a blessing and a curse. I haven't had a face to face conversation with another adult in about 2 weeks, and I live pretty far outside of town so I start going crazy after a while. I only get out to shoot or wheel my truck once every six or eight weeks now. It's been real hard for me to get used to it. I was in a pretty dark place for a while over the whole thing, but I'm settling in to the new routine now. There's nothing I wouldn't do for my kid so I just had to suck it up and get over it.

[PattonWasRight]

Can you explain what you mean by calorie dense? I'm assuming you mean things with larger portion sizes per a given number of calories? Sorry, I'm new to all this terminology.

Absolutely. My daughter is going on 4 now, I can't even take a shit without her knocking on the door to "check on me". Her mom and I are still married but she's not really in the picture, so I take on 85% of all the responsibilities. And working from home has been both a blessing and a curse. I haven't had a face to face conversation with another adult in about 2 weeks, and I live pretty far outside of town so I start going crazy after a while. I only get out to shoot or wheel my truck once every six or eight weeks now. It's been real hard for me to get used to it. I was in a pretty dark place for a while over the whole thing, but I'm settling in to the new routine now. There's nothing I wouldn't do for my kid so I just had to suck it up and get over it.

No prob, calorie dense as in junk food, starbucks mocha coffees, potato chips etc ... they're pleasurable to eat, but many of them contain a day's worth of calories alone.

When you're want to eat and feel full, make fruit and veggies be your snacking go tos. There's a lot of good tasting ways to eat vegetables so take a look. This stuff has a lot of bulk to make you feel full, but without a lot of calories.

Sounds like you've had your hands full, and that you're taking the high road in the relationship. You're a good man, and good Father.

[chuckman]

The bit about going to the doctor isn't a bad idea... other than my daughter's pediatrician, I haven't stepped foot in a doctor's office for... shit... 9, maybe 10 years? I can't even remember.

You have a daughter, you owe to her to have a mechanic look under your hood.

[0uTkAsT]

You have a daughter, you owe to her to have a mechanic look under your hood.

Never thought about it that way...

No prob, calorie dense as in junk food, starbucks mocha coffees, potato chips etc ... they're pleasurable to eat, but many of them contain a day's worth of calories alone.

When you're want to eat and feel full, make fruit and veggies be your snacking go tos. There's a lot of good tasting ways to eat vegetables so take a look. This stuff has a lot of bulk to make you feel full, but without a lot of calories.

Sounds like you've had your hands full, and that you're taking the high road in the relationship. You're a good man, and good Father.

That makes sense. I already keep the fridge stocked with all kinds of fruits and veggies for the little one and I, but I also have a bad habit of defaulting to chips and salsa / cheese and crackers / trail mix for snacking. I know those things aren't terrible in limited quantities but there are also much better choices I could be making.

Thank you for the kind words, it means a ton.

[Gabriel556]

I'm the OP in the previously mentioned thread. One thing I didn't mention because it was years ago and I recovered was I gained a significant amount of weight (I weighed 185+) when I spent a year at home with my daughter when she was born. I ate whatever and whenever I could, and didn't leave the house much because I had a kid that required constant care her first year. I went back to work at a new corporate job where I was at a desk 3 weeks a month. Previously I was an automotive technician, always moving and always lifting weight (for work). I had to buy all new dress clothes for my job and it was visibly obvious I was much heavier. I started with a full physical and blood work, and once I verified I was pretty good there(elecated LDL cholesterol and obviously overweight) I began by nothing more than portion control and calorie counting. I had to eat out because I traveled 30% of the time but I ate smarter. Booze was still a bit of an issue for me so I cut down. No more than one drink a day and whatever I ate, I didn't finish on purpose. An empty plate invites refills in my family. I walked on my lunch break, which was helped when I met an older lady there that did laps around the campus daily. Those mall walker types are serious about their steps. In 6 months I shed the 35 pounds I gained and had to buy all new dress clothes again. Then a month later we went business casual...... but I was within 5 lbs of my pre wedding weight and I felt much better. I would start with that and see what the Dr says.

[Gabriel556]

I will add one more thing about the defaults to chips and cheese and stuff like that. I read a post once by Will Brink. He mentioned he can eat a box of Cheezits without even thinking about it. I'm kind of the same. I can eat and eat and boom, I've ate 5000 calories. I learned that if I don't want to do that, we can't have that food in the house. A supportive spouse helps to keep that out of the pantry too. Otherwise it's like having a harem of naked women in a room that are at your disposal. You will lose self control. Don't have the junk food around you and that will be a HUGE help in your journey.

[hdrolling]

When I medically retired from the military a few years ago I was at 210 lbs, then I stopped doing any physical exercise and ate what ever. I use to drink a monster energy every day and drink lots of soda daily.

Last Jan I was 265 lbs, felt like crap.

I decided to make a few changes, stopped the energy drinks all together and no soda or beer. Didn't change anything else, now I'm at 245 lbs.

I'm still heavy but now that I know changing my diet a little can help quite a bit, I'm slowly starting to keep out of the junk food cabinet and keep fresh fruit and veggies in the crisper. When I get the munchies now it's raw carrots or an apple, I'll give it a couple months to see if I lose any more weight.