Why Can't Some People Comprehend That I Don't Want To Gossip...?!?

[SteyrAUG]

To me it's a habit of some people almost as bad as substance addiction. In many cases it's something I detest.

There are many, many things I don't want to know about other people. If it happens to be potentially hurtful information you haven't shared a "juicy tidbit" with me, you've given me a burden that I must carry in silence forever and even worse, it's a burden that results in a more negative view of somebody I probably care about. If a person tells me something like that about another person I care about, they just made my life worse.

Unless the information is critical to my personal safety and well being and that of people I care about, I honestly don't want to know. If I'm being lied to about something and I need to know I can't trust a person that is one thing, but beyond that I'm not interested in their personal faults, failures, infidelities or other troubles...especially in matters they would rather keep private and personal.

And the worst part of the whole thing, at some point those people gave somebody their trust and depended upon them the STFU about the entire matter. Even more bizarre is they don't seem to understand that if they can't be trusted to keep those matters private then I know for certain I can never trust them or depend upon them about anything.

This is one of the main reasons my circle of friends is a pretty short list. But sadly there are people who are peripheral in my life, usually because they are somehow associated with that small circle and I have to endure some level of interaction with them as a result.

Earlier this week I actually stunned one of these people when I stopped them mid sentence and said "I don't want to know...why would I even want to know something like that about somebody else."

Can somebody explain this particular perversion to me. What benefit is there from betraying the trust of somebody who "thinks" you are a friend and putting their business out there literally to everyone you have any kind of contact with? Do they really think they are showing you your worth because they are trusting you with these secrets? Do they think I see them as more valuable because they are confiding in me things that are really none of my business? Even worse when it comes from somebody who really, really, really should know better and be above this kind of crap.

Really wish I could remove a few more people from my life without causing undue hardship to those I care about.

I know I have a real friend when it becomes necessary to share information about a mutual friend in order to try and help them and we discover we have both known for quite some time but never mentioned it to anyone else.

[FromMyColdDeadHand]

So, uhm, spill the beans....

[Bulletdog]

I file this sort of thing under "None of my business." I've stopped people mid-sentence too.

There are all kinds of people in the world. I frequently observe the humans living around me and wonder what in the hell they are thinking and why they do the things they do.

[SteyrAUG]

So, uhm, spill the beans....

A bunch of nitwits who think they are gonna score points somehow by betraying the trust others have placed in them have been especially annoying this last week. Sadly before I could shut them up I learned some personal and private things about people I like and now I feel bad for them. I can't even try and help them because it would be embarrassing to them for me to know about any of it.

And that is all you are going to get from me. I need to stop getting obligated to social events.

Part of me wants to put some completely fabricated information into the pipeline about myself so I have an inside joke when these same people talk about me behind my back. All it would take is for me to say "Now I'm trusting you not to tell anyone this..." to about 3 people.

I'm just torn between rare disease, teenage mistress on the side or dead meth heads buried behind my garage.

[Moose-Knuckle]

There are all kinds of people in the world. I frequently observe the humans living around me and wonder what in the hell they are thinking and why they do the things they do.

There I times I contemplate if one day I'll be beamed up and rematerialize before those that marooned me here and on that day they will be laughing aloud as they congratulate me on passing the test and surviving the ignoramuses.

[MegademiC]

It makes them feel important. They are better than everyone else and the low-lives give them this information.

It's a depressing, unhealthy way to live, but many do it.

Styer, I vote rare disease from your mistress fwiw.

[BBossman]

I have a younger sister who's life blood is the collection and dissemination of gossip. When I say younger, I mean mid 50's and has been doing it for over 40 years.

[Dienekes]

My daughter gave me a bumper sticker that about covers it: "Great minds talk about ideas; average minds talk about events; small minds talk about other people."

Gossip is just flat evil.

[_Stormin_]

It makes them feel important. They are better than everyone else and the low-lives give them this information.

It's a depressing, unhealthy way to live, but many do it.

This... Makes them feel important.

Personally, I grew with the rule that nothing was, or ever will be, repeated aloud to anyone else without permission. In my current field you have to do the same. Heck, I have a couple that I work with mid-divorce and neither want to give me up as their advisor. I've told them both the same thing, I'll never repeat a word of anything told to me without instruction to do so. Honestly, when someone does that, I simply feel that they were raised wrong. [No offense directed to your parents BBossman, just a personal opinion.]

[ChrisCross]

It makes them feel important. They are better than everyone else and the low-lives give them this information.

It's a depressing, unhealthy way to live, but many do it.

Styer, I vote rare disease from your mistress fwiw.

Why not go big - Rare disease from your mistress buried in you back yard.