Anyone Here Have Experience With Trauma Induced Schitzophrenia?

[Safetyhit]

As some members here privately know I've been in a complicated situation, but they don't know that recently went against me in a whole new way. I am a private person, single dedicated full time father, but others should hear this for their greater good and maybe it helps me to vent in a safe place. For the last year I've thought of reaching out to this group because as the past has shown there are some very smart and insightful men here.

See I'm engaged to a woman 17 years younger than myself who is an ex-Playboy Playmate, and here we are at a recent wedding in South Philly:

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Look fun? Sound great? Well in many ways it has been to say the least, as she's also a big hearted, super-faithful homebody who only wants to be with me day and night always for the last two years. But guess what fellow gun owners? While she has a heart of gold and means well, she has slowly become mentally ill due to past trauma I am familiar with on a first hand basis because I have known her all her life, and now as a result I know full well she has developed schizophrenia...and I just got out of the county jail as a result.

Why am I sharing this after two years with her? Well long ago I was in a horrible fight with a very large animal in a parking lot while picking up my son from his mother's home in a crap town called Blackwood, NJ. After the incident and in order to protect the greater good I contemplated options, as even after the animal and myself embarrassingly beat the shit out of each other he was clearly bitter that at one point I got the best of him, and he wanted revenge. He threatened to burn my ex's apartment when I left and more. Therefore I was not happy.

A few here remember perhaps, but the bottom line is that I got advice that in the end I believe was immensely helpful and stayed with me to this day. John Wayne 777 was the standout and his words resonate with me forever.

So, may I humbly ask if anyone here has experience with Schizophrenia? You can find me at Schizophrenia.com talking in the family/caregiver section as of late, but most of those well meaning and equally hurting folks don't articulate things the way we often (but not always) do here. I know the odds are against and I may look foolish, but again this is not about me. I am ready to let her go no matter how much she loves me and likewise, but I'm not sure what's right or wrong anymore in that regard and would appreciate any sincere, educated feedback beyond words. As even if I do let her go, I only want the best for her even though she just landed me in the county for three days over nothing.

Just please try to have faith that I haven't lost it, there are smart people here that think like me and it's paid off before. Maybe just one more time...

Edit: I meant to add that all of my firearms and ammunition have been temporarily confiscated as a result, but I have a friend in a high place who is helping make things right.

https://family.schizophrenia.com/t/d...loved-one/4614

[5.56 Bonded SP]

I am no expert. I am not a doctor, but I have a friend with the condition. I am only reporting my experience with my friend, and I am not saying that all cases are similar.
He went schizophrenic about 10 years ago. When the effects of his condition first became apparent, words can't really describe how difficult things were. When out in public with him, my friends and I would have to order his food for him in food establishments because he would think that he could speak to waitresses telephatically. The first 1-2 years of it being diagnosed, he was unable to be a part of society. He went through electro shock therapy, and heavy medication. He lost much of his memory due to the ETC ( electro shock therapy ). After much therapy and medication, he was able to be a functioning member of society again. He is currently very successful, and well educated. He continued to work a job, and go to college. However, he still has schizophrenic tendencies, and still thinks he can read peoples minds sometimes. He seems to relapse( go schizo ) if he drinks or does drugs. Anyway, it can be dealt with with some individuals to the point they can still have functioning lives, and stable careers. You just always have to remember that they can ''relapse'' into a a dangerous state. My friend has done violent things to others a few times over the past 10 years do to his mental conditions, however for the most part he is a functioning member of society.
The medications he has to take cause him to be lethargic, and make him gain weight.
The key is to always make sure the schizophrenic person continues to take their medications so that they don't fall back into that dangerous state of mind, and from my experience having a friend with the condition, it is basically a sure thing that if they stop taking their medications they will become '' dangerous ''.


Regardless of this latter. I have to say, if you are with someone who causes a bad relationship ( verbal fights, maybe worse ) it is probably best to part ways. I've been there. No intimate relationship is worth potentially losing your rights, or just having bad fights in general. I am currently going through a break up because of how much we fight, and even though we love each other dearly, we know it is for the best.

[militarymoron]

I had a good friend/co-worker whose her husband suffered from schizophrenia. He was a well-educated person with a master's degree, and they had two young children (2 and 5 at the time). She had her phD, and was working full time. He had been diagnosed only about a year earlier, but was getting worse, even on meds. He had lost his job due to the illness, and couldn't be employed because he'd have delusions and be paranoid. One day I helped babysit her kids because she had to pick her husband up from the police station because he had gone to the mall during the day, tried on some suits, and walked out of the store without paying, claiming that the government would pay for them.

She was at her wit's end. His family did not want to take care for him and she felt deeply guilty if she went back on her vows 'in sickness and in health'. She could see that the man she had fallen in love with; the father of her children, was slowly slipping away and becoming another person. And she was involved in all his doctors' visits and medication etc. She eventually divorced him; because it was just not a healthy environment for her kids. His family had to take him back, and she moved with the kids to another state to start anew. It didn't make a difference to him eventually who took care of him; he was lost in his own mind.

I asked her later on whether she regretted her decision to leave, or felt guilty about it, and she'd still feel sad of course, but knew that she had made the right decision for herself and her children. She just had to pick her priorities, and the kids were it. But it didn't make it any easier to do. It was heart wrenching.

Brother, I really feel for your situation. If she doesn't let you go with her to the doctor so you're 100% in the know about what's going on, I don't think there's much more you can do. People are going to get hurt all around in a situation like this - there's no avoiding that. You just have to figure out what's salvageable realistically, and go from there. Sorry I can't be of more help.

[Firefly]

I dunno if this will help and might seem kind of silly but, keep a journal.

I got a pretty good concussion, like my third and had zero short term memory for a while (not the same I know), but I would write in it each day and look back the next day and it was almost like reading someone else's words.

But it helped me be me.

Best of luck to you. It is very brave being open about such a topic.

[Safetyhit]

5.56 I very much appreciate the input and can surely relate. This has been pretty humbling but in the long run it will have to be chalked up as a learning experience and life will go on.

Meantime this says it all..."words can't really describe how difficult things were". I can certainly empathize and it's just a bad thing. Will keep your words in mind and appreciate you taking the time.

MM again, spot on. It's so difficult to find any level of understanding and I often wish she was just an average girl, but I try to put things into context so others can understand that in the end it's about the person you care about no matter who they are. And as the old saying goes, nothing comes for free.

How is he doing now if I may ask? Or perhaps there is no longer any contact?

I dunno if this will help and might seem kind of silly but, keep a journal.

I got a pretty good concussion, like my third and had zero short term memory for a while (not the same I know), but I would write in it each day and look back the next day and it was almost like reading someone else's words.

But it helped me be me.

Best of luck to you. It is very brave being open about such a topic.

That's a very good suggestion and my regards to you for having the clarity to do so. Unfortunately she did keep a journal herself, but reading through it, as I did from time to time, only clarified how she is slowly slipping away. I feel like a failure for not being able to do more, but as I learned in that forum in the end they have to own up and be receptive to their condition, otherwise things will continue to escalate.

I think my biggest hurt is having know her mother since I was 5 years old and she very much approved of us together, but when it came time to face reality I was the bad guy making both of them face something they simple will not accept as reality. I know I can move on, but I will always worry about her and know she is trapped inside her own private hell likely forever.

[5.56 Bonded SP]

One thing I like to remind myself at times, is that if life didn't have low points, the high points wouldn't feel so high.

Don't know if this is relatable to you at all... but I figure I'll throw this out there..
I know sometimes tough times can make me want to hit the bottle, but alcohol is a depressant and will make you only feel worse up to 3-7 days after the booze leaves your system( I was told this by a doctor, it has something to do with endorphins and seratonin ).
If you have friends or family you can spend some time with, reach out, and spend some time with them. See if you have an old friend you can hang out with, it really helps.

Keep faith, and stay strong. Things will get better.

I feel like a failure for not being able to do more.

Don't. It's not your fault in any way.

[Safetyhit]

Don't know if this is relatable to you at all... but I figure I'll throw this out there..
I know sometimes tough times can make me want to hit the bottle.

Yes it sure does. I'm only human and guess in the end I'm not that strong. But I do have support from friends and family, it's just that they will never understand until they've been there. God forbid.

[militarymoron]

How is he doing now if I may ask? Or perhaps there is no longer any contact?

I don't know, unfortunately, as we lost touch years ago. She did remarry though.

[CoryCop25]

Text me if you need anything Tav.
I'll be working a gun show in Philly this weekend so I won't be on my night shift rotation.
Best of luck to you and your boy. You have been through a lot and I know you are a tough SOB and will get through this too.

[tb-av]

I know I can move on, but I will always worry about her and know she is trapped inside her own private hell likely forever.

I think you know what needs to be done. As unfortunate as that may be.

My Mother had Alzheimer's and the first thing the doctor told my brother and me was that we would not be able to care for her. It would take professionals. She was right. We tried and that was quite an ordeal.

I had a friend that some of the best doctors in the country described as the worst TBI they had ever seen. That situation was beyond bizarre.

I once new a business owner that had a wife who became problematic over time and I can't recall what her issue was but that ended in divorce.

I've got a couple other situations but the point is, the typical person can't deal with mental illness especially if that illness is adversarial.

I don't know what could have happened that you landed in jail for "three days over nothing" but that is a sure sign you have lost control. You have either lost control of yourself, your relationship, or both. I don't mean that to sound harsh. I simply hope you realize that the bad things have already started to happen and have gotten the best of you. Your seeking answers at the other forum might become a long term devotion as happens with many people for a variety of reasons. People exposed to certain things tend to pick up that torch. But that's a long long term learning experience and -maybe- will offer you some ability to help someone. That someone may even be your long term piece of mind.

Right now though. You should have the immediate goal of protecting yourself and your assets. You need to get it through your head that it's wrong right now and basically seek cover. Being in jail 3 days because someone else has a mental disease is not a rational life. I believe the forum analogy might be 'get off the X'

I'm sorry if this sounds harsh but the typical individual can't beat crazy and even the best of professionals have a difficult time in many cases.

I understand that the heart wants what the heart wants but it's like a friend once told me..... I was having some relationship problems and he said you know it's kinda like a horse.... I said, I know, I know, I just need to get back on the horse.... he said... No, you need to find yourself a new horse.

It's the same old story. Some things are best placed in the hands of professionals. If you are sleeping in the jailhouse, that time has come.