Anyone Here Have Experience With Trauma Induced Schitzophrenia?

[PD Sgt.]

Most of what I would say here has already been said by others. I will say that tb-av said it about as well as anyone could when he said you cannot care for someone (as a non-professional) whose condition has caused them to become adversarial.

I will echo the sentiments of others here that this is not a condition that will reverse itself, the treatment is often as difficult for the sufferer as the illness, and as long as you remain in a close relationship with her you will continue to be as much the victim of her condition as she is.

I know how painful it is to have to watch the decline of someone you are so close to, particularly when it is not their fault. You feel like you are leaving the wounded behind to fend for themselves. However, this is not something you can “win” and you must think of yourself and your long term health first. Ask yourself if she, in her right mind and not affected by this condition, would want you to suffer and endure in the manner you undoubtedly will if you continue this relationship.

[Safetyhit]

First: DO NOT HAVE KIDS WITH HER NO MATTER WHAT ELSE YOU DECIDE. No kid should be knowingly procreated and raised in a house with an abusive parent, whether mentally ill or just cruel. Kids complicate every other action you will ever ponder. As two adults it is easy to split and not have anything to do with her ever, or only on rational terms. With just one kid, your life will be entwined with her illness and abuse for 16 yrs minimum and likely much longer, and the child will suffer immensely and have tons of issues to sort out most of their lives.

As the others have said, severe mental illness is not something a lay person can deal with, and many professionals struggle decades trying to help such an afflicted person.

Your entire post is spot on, but this really hit home for two reasons. The first is that she's always wanted a child and we were working toward that goal at first, as I would gladly have another too. But as things slowly changed I became reluctant and she knew it (obviously). At first I honestly thought a child would give her strength she never knew she had, as mine did me, but eventually I realized it wasn't so simple.

Also I think the reason she went to the station and lied was because just over a week ago when I was keeping her at a distance she tried to convince me that she was pregnant. Physically possible of course, but considering the timing and circumstance it seemed odd. She went so far as to send me not one but 4 images of positive pregnancy tests which again seemed off, so knowing her as well as I do now I googled positive pregnancy test images and found at least two of the 4 exact same images online. I took a screenshot of them and sent them back to her asking what on earth she was thinking, and I think that triggered the incident.

[Safetyhit]

You know 100% what needs to be done and it sounds like you just need that confirmation from others.

Jim I think this sums it up very well, although I guess it just wasn't what I was hoping to hear.

Anyhow I really appreciate everyone taking the time and it's great to see Honu's much improved grammar . Without quoting everyone who had an impressively wise viewpoint I'll simply acknowledge how valuable your insights are and maybe now I feel less isolated in this whole thing.

As CPM accurately stated that other forum wasn't really ideal for a thinking man, but they did give me a good glimpse as to how bad a situation I was really in and I certainly now deeply empathize with all of them. Maybe including even the crude GSSP who himself has the illness, but at least will acknowledge it and the pain he brings his family. All the rest there as far as I know are seeking advice for someone else, but he did tell me privately to run away fast because no one should be stuck with someone like him. Which of course is very sad.

There is no hope. I see that now.

[Firefly]

"I'll die for you, but I won't live for you"

Not my words but I find them apt.

Any pain felt now will be better than all the pain later.

Good luck

[RetroRevolver77]

I was raised by a mother who had a lot of emotional problems, if not out right borderline. I can only tell you that the best thing to do is to get out of that situation before you actually do have a child. The emotional and physical abuse isn't worth it.

[Todd.K]

First of all, I'm sorry for your loss. It's very hard to get to a place where you can admit the reality of it, but the person you care about "isn't" here anymore.

Second, it's not your fault and you being involved or not won't change the outcome.

Third, get your kid and yourself out of there immediately. Immediately! She will use your kid against you or try to get your kid taken away from you when she figures out you are leaving. If that's not what she did already.

[militarymoron]

There is no hope. I see that now.

There's always going to be hope; which is the desire for a positive outcome. If it happens, it's a gift. If not, it's still okay because you knew that it was unlikely to happen. You can always wish the best for/on her until you die. The person you knew and loved deserves hope.

What you need to let go are your expectations, which are those that we feel entitled to, and are disappointed when not realized.

We humans always have difficulty recognizing the difference between the two.
By letting go of the expectations you had for this relationship, you then give you and your son both hope and the expectation of a healthier life.

[ramairthree]

This is not meant to be insulting.

I almost asked in my first post if she moved in days after you starting dating.
Classic.

She was a moth to burning light of your maleness, protectiveness, white knightess, daddyness,etc. that you have known since she was a little girl.

She...
Siren is not quite the right word. Nor Chamelon. Adapt, I guess. You are on a long list of guys where a woman like this catches you in that phase of their high functioning Black Widow/Praying Mantis behavior. A whirlwind of perfection and fun and absolutely just right could not be more perfect for you. I am not saying your are going to end up poisoned with you head cut off, but this is literally Springer stuff. Not your fault. Not intended. But women like this will whirlwind you, leave you and take of with her step son, and come back knocked up by Charlie Sheen after maxing all your credit cards in Vegas.

I spent nearly 30 years in the highest concentration of men they want on the face of the earth. I have seen them in there guy their age phase jack up their lives like a hundred times. And in the 40 up range over a dozen.

There are forces at work here we don’t understand.
Stay with her and she will drag you on a springer roller coaster.

Your entire post is spot on, but this really hit home for two reasons. The first is that she's always wanted a child and we were working toward that goal at first, as I would gladly have another too. But as things slowly changed I became reluctant and she knew it (obviously). At first I honestly thought a child would give her strength she never knew she had, as mine did me, but eventually I realized it wasn't so simple.

Also I think the reason she went to the station and lied was because just over a week ago when I was keeping her at a distance she tried to convince me that she was pregnant. Physically possible of course, but considering the timing and circumstance it seemed odd. She went so far as to send me not one but 4 images of positive pregnancy tests which again seemed off, so knowing her as well as I do now I googled positive pregnancy test images and found at least two of the 4 exact same images online. I took a screenshot of them and sent them back to her asking what on earth she was thinking, and I think that triggered the incident.

Again classic.

Don’t be the guy in the horror that runs for the scary house, decides to go to the basement, then out the window into the cemetery.

[Safetyhit]

Ram stop trying to ram your skewed viewpoints down my throat. You want to be a simpleton and think it was all about "daddy" or mid-life crisis or whatever the f*&k save it my man. You have no idea what you are talking about in that regard and I resent you attempting to portray me that way here.

I received your warnings and no I'm not looking to be the dope that gets killed in a horror movie due to poor decision making. Give it up already.

[CPM]

FWIW, I think Ram is spot on. I used to get upset when I dinged a duck and it went into glide mode and I couldn’t find it. In the words of my much older hunting partner, “Coyotes gotta eat, too.”

She is a hostile entity. You are not the hero that will save her. Chances are professionals won’t be able to either. There is no hope. Run.