Another bro gone before his day

[Clint]

You're a good guy Will.

Next time I make it down there, beer is on me.

[flenna]

Condolences and take comfort that you reached out, more than most people would have done.

We went thru this with my wifes cousin. He missed out on his SEAL days due to injury, made BUDS but then was injured with an infection that darn near killed him. He had an issue with depression after that. He tried to deal with it and was working on his master dive cert and found out that because he was trying to treat his depression he could not get back into the navy. It hit him hard and we had no idea taking his own life was coming. Felt horrible that his dad found him.
I always have looked up to my father in law and his brothers they have always been the dad types that I wish I had growing up. The way they dealt with his death was a show of strength that I hope I will not have to try to muster.

Wow, this made think of a good friend from college I haven't thought about in a long time. He got a commission in the Marine Corps and was in flight school, got injured and dropped out. Got back in later and then failed out. He took his own life shortly thereafter. Me and several other buddies were floored, never saw it coming as he was always the happiest guy around, making people laugh, always joking. We were upset that he never reached out to any of us, never called anyone.

[WillBrink]

You're a good guy Will.

Next time I make it down there, beers and shot are on me.

Much appreciated and small type fixed for ya

[WillBrink]

Wow, this made think of a good friend from college I haven't thought about in a long time. He got a commission in the Marine Corps and was in flight school, got injured and dropped out. Got back in later and then failed out. He took his own life shortly thereafter. Me and several other buddies were floored, never saw it coming as he was always the happiest guy around, making people laugh, always joking. We were upset that he never reached out to any of us, never called anyone.

Don't take this personally as it's a general observation vs directed at you. I have not been the least bit surprised when learning of people that opted out. People tend to see what they want to see in other people. Others said "she was such a happy person, I never saw it coming" when I couldn't figure out how they missed it. It's in their eyes. No matter what they say or do, their eyes give them away. Other hints and tells are usually there if you're aware and looking for them. The guy in the OP was also known as a happy go lucky type, yada yada. People put on a front, some better than others. If someone you know experiences something you know would be damn stressful to anyone, ignore how they behave, and simply say something like "sure, but how are you really feeling about that shit? If it were me, I know it would really knock the crap out of me" Feeling alone, like you're the only one experiencing such a thing, is the common theme there. Everyone around looks happy, but they feel terrible and without hope and figure no one gives a shit what happens to them.

Say something like "you look like you're doing ok with with it, but you know you can give me a call to shoot the shit any time right?"

My friend I briefly mentioned prior let me know years later that he was considering opting out a few times he called me out of the blue, but remembered my offers. I suspected strongly was considering that as an option. He's a very well known sports writer for various publications, we were college pals in the 80s.

Open ended, empathetic, but firm, vs soft fuzzy BS is what, in my experience, they need.