Page 112 of 231 FirstFirst ... 1262102110111112113114122162212 ... LastLast
Results 1,111 to 1,120 of 2307

Thread: A little Humor

  1. #1111
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Posts
    2,511
    Feedback Score
    1 (100%)
    We've all seen the Keanu Reeves video training for John Wick, but here's Aussie Mans review of it.
    https://youtu.be/4MIc9Z50Uv4

  2. #1112
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    North West Indiana
    Posts
    2,000
    Feedback Score
    0
    When mom catches you playing with a gun.

    Short facebook video. (42 seconds) There are cuss words spoken, but I watched it like 4 or 5 times and damn near pissed my pants laughing...

    https://www.facebook.com/1funnymike/...c_ref=NEWSFEED
    Last edited by daddyusmaximus; 06-20-17 at 11:59.
    You know what I like best about most people?

    Their dogs.

  3. #1113
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    North West Indiana
    Posts
    2,000
    Feedback Score
    0
    I was sitting at a long stoplight yesterday, minding my own business, patiently waiting for it to turn green even though there was no on-coming traffic.

    A carload of bearded, young, loud Muslims shouting Anti-American slogans with a half-burned American Flag duct-taped on the trunk of their car and a "Remember 9-11" slogan spray painted on the side was stopped next to me.

    Suddenly they yelled, "Allah Akbar! Praise Allah! Death to America" and took off before the light changed.

    Out of nowhere an 18-wheeler came speeding through the intersection and ran directly over their car, crushing it completely and killing everyone in it.

    For several minutes I sat in my car thinking to myself: "Man... that coulda been me!"

    So today, bright and early, I went out and got a job as a truck driver.
    You know what I like best about most people?

    Their dogs.

  4. #1114
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Location
    NH/PA
    Posts
    930
    Feedback Score
    6 (100%)
    Now that is funny! Thanks.
    Buy It Cheap!
    Stack It Deep!

  5. #1115
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Location
    N.E. OH
    Posts
    7,596
    Feedback Score
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by daddyusmaximus View Post
    I was sitting at a long stoplight yesterday, minding my own business, patiently waiting for it to turn green even though there was no on-coming traffic.

    A carload of bearded, young, loud Muslims shouting Anti-American slogans with a half-burned American Flag duct-taped on the trunk of their car and a "Remember 9-11" slogan spray painted on the side was stopped next to me.

    Suddenly they yelled, "Allah Akbar! Praise Allah! Death to America" and took off before the light changed.

    Out of nowhere an 18-wheeler came speeding through the intersection and ran directly over their car, crushing it completely and killing everyone in it.

    For several minutes I sat in my car thinking to myself: "Man... that coulda been me!"

    So today, bright and early, I went out and got a job as a truck driver.
    Shit, that's the best joke I've heard in a while. Thanks.
    Think I just woke the wife.

  6. #1116
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    North West Indiana
    Posts
    2,000
    Feedback Score
    0
    You know what I like best about most people?

    Their dogs.

  7. #1117
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Location
    North West Indiana
    Posts
    2,000
    Feedback Score
    0
    You know what I like best about most people?

    Their dogs.

  8. #1118
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    Kansas
    Posts
    9,931
    Feedback Score
    1 (100%)
    John and Ebna were celebrating their 60th Anniversary. They invited their three children, all successful, to attend a Sunday dinner being given in their honor.

    "Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad," gushed Son No. 1. "Sorry I'm running late. I had an emergency at the hospital with a patient, you know how it is, and I didn't have time to get you a gift."
    "Not to worry," said the father. "Important thing is we're all together today."

    Son No. 2 arrived. "You and Mom look great, Dad. I just flew in from Montreal between depositions and didn't have time to shop for you."

    “It’s nothing," said the father. We're glad you were able to come."

    Just then the daughter arrived. "Hello and happy anniversary! Sorry, but my boss is sending me out of town and I was really busy packing so I didn't have time to get you anything."

    After they had finished dessert, the father said, "There's something your mother and I have wanted to tell you for a long time. You see, we were really poor, but we managed to send each of you to college.
    Through the years your mother and I knew we loved each other very much, but we just never found the time to get married."

    The three children gasped and said, "WHAT? You mean we're bastards?"

    "Yep", said the father. "Cheap ones, too ..."

  9. #1119
    Join Date
    Oct 2015
    Location
    The Sticks, TN
    Posts
    4,161
    Feedback Score
    6 (100%)
    This duck walks into a bar and asks the bartender "got any crackers?" . The bartender says "no". So the duck asks again "got any crackers?" The bartender says "I said no!" . The duck asks him again "got any crackers?" So the bartender yells "I said no! And if you ask again I am going to nail your bill to the bar!". The duck walks out, returns and asks the bartender "got any nails?" The bartender says "no!" , so the duck asks "got any crackers?"
    Philippians 2:10-11

    To argue with a person who renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead. ~ Thomas Paine

    “The greatest conspiracy theory is the notion that your government cares about you”- unknown.

  10. #1120
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    Hamburg PA
    Posts
    3,506
    Feedback Score
    1 (100%)
    Quote Originally Posted by flenna View Post
    This duck walks into a bar and asks the bartender "got any crackers?" . The bartender says "no". So the duck asks again "got any crackers?" The bartender says "I said no!" . The duck asks him again "got any crackers?" So the bartender yells "I said no! And if you ask again I am going to nail your bill to the bar!". The duck walks out, returns and asks the bartender "got any nails?" The bartender says "no!" , so the duck asks "got any crackers?"
    And roast duck was that weekend's special.


    Lol.
    That was a really good one BTW.
    "I don't collect guns anymore, I stockpile weapons for ****ing war." Chuck P.

    "Some days you eat the bacon, and other days the bacon eats you." SeriousStudent

    "Don't complain when after killing scores of women and children in a mall, a group of well armed men who train to shoot people like you in the face show up to say hello." WillBrink

Page 112 of 231 FirstFirst ... 1262102110111112113114122162212 ... LastLast

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •