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Glad my wife hasen't thought of this
The only friction in their marriage was the husband's habit of farting
loudly every morning when he awoke. The noise would wake his wife & the
smell would make her eyes water & make her gasp for air. Every morning
she would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making
her sick. He told her he couldn't stop it & that it was perfectly natural.
She told him to see a doctor, she was concerned that one day he would blow
his guts out. The years went by & he continued to rip them out!
Then one Thanksgiving morning as she was preparing the turkey for dinner &
he was upstairs sound asleep, she looked at the bowl where she had put the
turkey innards & neck, gizzard, liver & all the spare parts & a malicious
thought came to her.
She took the bowl & went upstairs where her husband was sound asleep &
gently pulling back the bed covers, she pulled back the elastic waistband
of his underpants & emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts.
Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting
which was followed by a blood curdling scream & the sound of frantic
footsteps as he ran into the bathroom. The wife could hardly control
herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, tears in her eyes! After
years of torture she reckoned she had got him back pretty good.
About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his
bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face.. She bit her
lip as she asked him what was the matter.
He said, 'Honey, you were right.. All these years you have warned me & I
didn't listen to you."
"What do you mean?" asked his wife.
"Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out,
& today it finally happened.... But by the grace of God, some Vaseline,&
two fingers, I think I got most of them back in!"
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