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SteyrAUG
05-16-12, 01:38
1. Self respect is nothing more than being the kind of person you'd respect. It really is a simple concept but can be difficult to practice, which is why so many don't have it.

2. Self esteem is worthless. It means accepting yourself with faults and failings but being proud anyway. Basically self esteem means you stopped trying to have self respect.

3. If AKM ammo (7.62x39 and 5.45x39) does dry up your "practical rifle" will become impractical.

4. One has to wonder if the FBI materials test (which seems to contradict the findings of all other similar tests) wasn't simply fabricated (statisticized - new word I invented) to provide justification for Federal law enforcement to switch from pistol caliber SMGs to 5.56 NATO.

5. With over 30 years experience spending my own money I have found that a large pepperoni pizza with extra cheese and a six pack of Coke is the best possible investment of $20.

6. Any black person who calls another black person a "Uncle Tom" or "Sellout" for trying to "act white" is a racist. They have accepted the KKK basic premise that all white people act one way and all black people act another way.

7. A LOT of people decry DA autos because of the initial long DA trigger pull, and this has caused a trend towards light DA triggers and cocked and locked carry. I think back to the gunslingers of the old west who could draw and cock a weapon and wonder what became of this rare and esoteric skill that SWAT officers are seemingly incapable of.

8. Concerning the old .45 vs. 9mm debate it mostly comes down to this. Do you want to carry approx. 8 rounds which will put down at most 8 people or do you want to carry 15 rounds which will put down at least 8 people?

9. If you intend to prepare for personal defense ask yourself this question. If my (gun, knife, flashlight, pepper spray, taser, etc.) fails...am I now screwed? Adjust personal defense doctrine based upon answer.

10. Almost nobody here will ever be in an environment that will necessitate a AKM over a AR15 due to harsh AO or extended deployment without maintenance. IF anyone here is ever in a shooting situation it will be extremely likely that inherent accuracy will be the more critical factor.

11. In real armed conflict it is hard to kill large numbers of people. Amazing as it sounds most people don't present easy targets for you like in movies. Combat experience is mostly knowing how to get a shot at them without being shot.

12. The Second Revolution / Civil War is not going to happen. People today simply don't accept the kind of loss of life that would be required to start or sustain a domestic war. Even in foreign wars people are unwilling to accept large numbers of casualties. More people were killed in single engagements like Tarawa, Okinawa, Normandy and Guadalcanal than in later entire wars.

13. All mythology was at some point in history undisputed religious fact.

14. The government already knows you have guns so you may as well buy NFA guns if you can afford it.

15. WACO proved that government forces could be repelled by a small group of defenders with light arms. They lost because they lacked an exit strategy and mobility. Sieges nearly always succeed.

16. A LOT of guns and supplies are great but if you have to go mobile you will likely only take what can be carried. It is a good idea to have that planned out in advance. Take ammo, if the shit ever truly hits the fan ammo will get you all the additional supplies you will ever need.

17. What if Steven Wright is actually right about everything?

18. You will probably need your carry knife a lot more than your carry gun so get a good one.

19. A plan that you are screwing up horribly is still better than not having a plan.

20. It is generally a bad idea to trick or treat as a zombie in an gun owning neighborhood.

21. No firearm that has passed military trials is "junk." Anyone who says otherwise should be ignored. The M73 seems to be the lone exception to this general rule.

22. The gun you have right now is far more important than the one you intend to get someday. Learn to use it as you will bet your life on it if things go to shit right now. If you are unwilling to bet your life on the gun you have right now then get one you can depend on, right now.

23. Females are only a problem if you permit them to be one. Females, like children, will get out of line to the extent that you tolerate it

24. Somebody WILL be in charge of your relationship, if the other person is NOT a fair minded, intelligent individual then you better make sure the person in charge is YOU. If the other half makes better decisions let them have the job. There is no such thing as "equal partners" who decide things together, ultimately somebody gets their way on the important stuff.

25. Burglar alarms and dogs both make noise. One will actually keep people out of your house effectively.

26. When considering a girl for a serious relationship ask yourself this question..."Would I ever hang out with her if I wasn't ****ing her?"

27. People who drink and smoke to deal with their problems need to come up with about an extra $3 per day for cigarettes and about an extra $6 for beer. $10 a day is a lot of cash to do nothing more than allow you to try and deal with your other problems.

28. Accept the fact that if you could go back in time and do things "differently" you might still **** everything up.

29. Pizza is medicinal and cheaper than therapy.

30. The last guy still with ammo in a firefight wins.

31. It is better to be the guy that takes everyone by surprise than to be one of the guys in the room looking up and saying "Huh?"

32. No matter how stealthy your approach a claymore can still **** up your day.

33. Small details that keep you alive are not small details.

34. The only thing worse than shit going to hell as a result of your decision is shit going to hell when you knew better but proceeded anyway against your better judgement.

35. Sometimes just "being alive" is accomplishment enough.

SMETNA
05-16-12, 01:53
I have found that #5 has a negative effect on #1

Sensei
05-16-12, 02:15
Not bad...not bad at all.

QuietShootr
05-16-12, 07:50
Excellent list. Might wind up being a sticky someday.

To it I would add:

1) it's always better to regret the women you banged rather than the ones you didn't.

2) never ever EVER make a life-changing decision because of a woman (don't pass up an enlistment because you have a girl - you won't when you're finished anyway)

3) Cui bono? learn it, know it, apply it. Occam's Razor is the best tool you'll ever have.

Clint
05-16-12, 08:51
EPIC!

GTifosi
05-16-12, 08:56
Don't wizz on the electric fence.

Knowing how to disable mines or IEDs makes you useful.
Knowing how to disarm them for useful re-employment makes you a god.

Small critters and insects can do as great a harm to you as the big bipedal ones. Usually with more pain and suffering.

Forget about 'I forgot'. You have, or you do not, period.

A compass will work long after GPS batteries (and thier internal 'hey! I'm right here' tracking gizmo) are dead. Not knowing how to actually use a compass makes you as useful as someone carrying a pocketful of dead batteries.

There is always someone in a group who will shake a tree for 1/2 an hour while you look on the map to see where it is.
These people should be considered as mules or fodder.

Cesiumsponge
05-16-12, 09:11
No one is above suspicion, especially children. They're manipulative bastards.

SMETNA
05-16-12, 09:13
If you go to sleep with an itchy butt, you'll wake up with smelly fingers.

Doc Safari
05-16-12, 10:03
1. Endeavor to learn a job so well that an employer is afraid to get rid of you. If you know the job and the boss doesn't, you are in the catbird seat. As soon as they show you little ways that they can still **** with you, be happy. You know then they are bluffing to keep you down. You can get away with a lot and the consequences will be no worse than an ass-chewing.

2. Don't abuse the above, because anyone is replaceable. Make yourself just invaluable enough that they overlook your little "indiscretions." (I once kept a job even though they knew I was surfing the net at work because they knew it would take two years to train my replacement).


3. A weak hand can be compensated for with extra bravado. This works not only in poker, but in life.

4. Thousands of years of breeding still have not produced a guard dog that is a match for a well-placed shot.

5. Make sure the screwing you give is worth the screwing you are going to get in return. Exception: make sure the screwing you give is so thorough that you need not fear retaliation.

6. Every person should learn two games: chess and poker. Chess because it teaches you strategy, thinking ahead, and multi-dimensional reasoning; poker because it teaches you to bluff when all of that fails.

7. Women are like monkeys: they don't want to let go of one branch until they have their hands on another.

8. There are very few people who can survive this world without getting high on something.

9. Money can't buy happiness, but it's better to be rich and miserable than poor and miserable.

10. In any situation, always endeavor to assess what it takes to survive.

11. In any organization, there is always one person who know's what's going on. This person must be fired.

12. In any relationship, the person who loves less always has the power.

13. Remember the Six P's: Proper Planning Prevents Piss Poor Performance

14. Always look out for your interests. No one else will no matter who they are or who you are.

15. If you don't clearly articulate what you want, then don't be surprised when you don't get what you want.

Abraxas
05-16-12, 10:14
1. Self respect is nothing more than being the kind of person you'd respect. It really is a simple concept but can be difficult to practice, which is why so many don't have it.

2. Self esteem is worthless. It means accepting yourself with faults and failings but being proud anyway. Basically self esteem means you stopped trying to have self respect.

3. If AKM ammo (7.62x39 and 5.45x39) does dry up your "practical rifle" will become impractical.

4. One has to wonder if the FBI materials test (which seems to contradict the findings of all other similar tests) wasn't simply fabricated (statisticized - new word I invented) to provide justification for Federal law enforcement to switch from pistol caliber SMGs to 5.56 NATO.

5. With over 30 years experience spending my own money I have found that a large pepperoni pizza with extra cheese and a six pack of Coke is the best possible investment of $20.

6. Any black person who calls another black person a "Uncle Tom" or "Sellout" for trying to "act white" is a racist. They have accepted the KKK basic premise that all white people act one way and all black people act another way.

7. A LOT of people decry DA autos because of the initial long DA trigger pull, and this has caused a trend towards light DA triggers and cocked and locked carry. I think back to the gunslingers of the old west who could draw and cock a weapon and wonder what became of this rare and esoteric skill that SWAT officers are seemingly incapable of.

8. Concerning the old .45 vs. 9mm debate it mostly comes down to this. Do you want to carry approx. 8 rounds which will put down at most 8 people or do you want to carry 15 rounds which will put down at least 8 people?

9. If you intend to prepare for personal defense ask yourself this question. If my (gun, knife, flashlight, pepper spray, taser, etc.) fails...am I now screwed? Adjust personal defense doctrine based upon answer.

10. Almost nobody here will ever be in an environment that will necessitate a AKM over a AR15 due to harsh AO or extended deployment without maintenance. IF anyone here is ever in a shooting situation it will be extremely likely that inherent accuracy will be the more critical factor.

11. In real armed conflict it is hard to kill large numbers of people. Amazing as it sounds most people don't present easy targets for you like in movies. Combat experience is mostly knowing how to get a shot at them without being shot.

12. The Second Revolution / Civil War is not going to happen. People today simply don't accept the kind of loss of life that would be required to start or sustain a domestic war. Even in foreign wars people are unwilling to accept large numbers of casualties. More people were killed in single engagements like Tarawa, Okinawa, Normandy and Guadalcanal than in later entire wars.

13. All mythology was at some point in history undisputed religious fact.

14. The government already knows you have guns so you may as well buy NFA guns if you can afford it.

15. WACO proved that government forces could be repelled by a small group of defenders with light arms. They lost because they lacked an exit strategy and mobility. Sieges nearly always succeed.

16. A LOT of guns and supplies are great but if you have to go mobile you will likely only take what can be carried. It is a good idea to have that planned out in advance. Take ammo, if the shit ever truly hits the fan ammo will get you all the additional supplies you will ever need.

17. What if Steven Wright is actually right about everything?

18. You will probably need your carry knife a lot more than your carry gun so get a good one.

19. A plan that you are screwing up horribly is still better than not having a plan.

20. It is generally a bad idea to trick or treat as a zombie in an gun owning neighborhood.

21. No firearm that has passed military trials is "junk." Anyone who says otherwise should be ignored. The M73 seems to be the lone exception to this general rule.

22. The gun you have right now is far more important than the one you intend to get someday. Learn to use it as you will bet your life on it if things go to shit right now. If you are unwilling to bet your life on the gun you have right now then get one you can depend on, right now.

23. Females are only a problem if you permit them to be one. Females, like children, will get out of line to the extent that you tolerate it

24. Somebody WILL be in charge of your relationship, if the other person is NOT a fair minded, intelligent individual then you better make sure the person in charge is YOU. If the other half makes better decisions let them have the job. There is no such thing as "equal partners" who decide things together, ultimately somebody gets their way on the important stuff.

25. Burglar alarms and dogs both make noise. One will actually keep people out of your house effectively.

26. When considering a girl for a serious relationship ask yourself this question..."Would I ever hang out with her if I wasn't ****ing her?"

27. People who drink and smoke to deal with their problems need to come up with about an extra $3 per day for cigarettes and about an extra $6 for beer. $10 a day is a lot of cash to do nothing more than allow you to try and deal with your other problems.

28. Accept the fact that if you could go back in time and do things "differently" you might still **** everything up.

29. Pizza is medicinal and cheaper than therapy.

30. The last guy still with ammo in a firefight wins.

31. It is better to be the guy that takes everyone by surprise than to be one of the guys in the room looking up and saying "Huh?"

32. No matter how stealthy your approach a claymore can still **** up your day.

33. Small details that keep you alive are not small details.

34. The only thing worse than shit going to hell as a result of your decision is shit going to hell when you knew better but proceeded anyway against your better judgement.

35. Sometimes just "being alive" is accomplishment enough.
Ya, pretty much ya.

maximus83
05-16-12, 10:55
I see that pizza comes up a lot in the list. That's a good thing: only thing I would add is a couple more entries about pizza.

Dirk Williams
05-16-12, 13:21
Interesting worldly observations.

DW

rojocorsa
05-16-12, 16:11
Great thread.



I always like to say that the first rule is "to cover your ass."

Mark/MO
05-16-12, 17:41
While I thought most of those were valid, insightful and thought provoking, I seem to identify with #5 the most.
Sad, I know. :)

Jellybean
05-17-12, 01:44
27. People who drink and smoke to deal with their problems need to come up with about an extra $3 per day for cigarettes and about an extra $6 for beer. $10 a day is a lot of cash to do nothing more than allow you to try and deal with your other problems.


I am SO glad I've figured this out while I'm still a young'in.
I've come across a lot of people complaining of money problems while drinking a lot and smoking like a chimney.



9. Money can't buy happiness, but it's better to be rich and miserable than poor and miserable.


Ain't that the truth. Maybe it can't buy physical happiness, but it can buy you the next most priceless thing- peace of mind.

RogerinTPA
05-17-12, 08:27
I can relate to many of them...priceless. :)

JSantoro
05-17-12, 11:16
I've come across a lot of people complaining of money problems while drinking a lot and smoking like a chimney.

If they also have a profusion of tatoos of varying quality, a huge truck/overpowered sports car, and a Ski-Doo.....probably Marines.

Dienekes
05-17-12, 11:55
I like numbers 19 and 28. They fit into the whole "age and treachery" mindset, along with number 35. :smile:

QuietShootr
05-17-12, 12:02
If they also have a profusion of tatoos of varying quality, a huge truck/overpowered sports car, and a Ski-Doo.....probably Marines.

http://terminallance.com/comics/2010-08-06-Strip_56_Dependapotamus_web.gif

a0cake
05-17-12, 12:14
Dude, if you have a FB you have to check out the "Overly Sensitive Military Wives" page.

https://www.facebook.com/Dependopotomus

(The URL is hilarious BTW...dependopotomus)


https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-snc7/294359_261985113821668_261976560489190_890581_1659760592_n.jpg


https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/429505_367170556636456_261976560489190_1216744_660016581_n.jpg

QuietShootr
05-17-12, 13:03
"twatrocket" LMAO

Doc Safari
05-17-12, 15:05
I apologize. I thought this thread was an invitation for everyone to post their little tidbits of wisdom. Did not mean to make it look like I was trying to steal the OP's thunder.

SteyrAUG
05-17-12, 15:18
I apologize. I thought this thread was an invitation for everyone to post their little tidbits of wisdom. Did not mean to make it look like I was trying to steal the OP's thunder.



This thread didn't come with rules. Your additions are perfectly fine. In fact I think I prefer that to an extended discourse on the dependopotomus.

SMETNA
05-18-12, 02:17
This thread didn't come with rules.

In that case:

Here's a 1988 Dodge Dynasty
http://www.strutmasters.com/v/vspfiles/assets/images/dodge-dynasty-with-air-bag-suspension.jpg

AND a duck-billed platypus
http://images.nationalgeographic.com/wpf/media-live/photos/000/006/cache/platypus_662_600x450.jpg