PDA

View Full Version : A FYI for anyone going to visit Phoenix (funnys inside)



Packman73
06-30-12, 15:18
PHOENIX TRAFFIC
Only someone from or familiar with, the Phoenix area would understand this and the really funny thing is that this is all so true!

* Note: You must first learn to pronounce the city name, it is: FEE-NICKS. There are other names to learn such as Awatukee (Ah-wa-Too-Kee) but that will included in the advanced course.

1. 'Phoenix' actually consists of Scottsdale, Chandler, Tempe, Mesa, Gilbert, Glendale, Peoria, Tolleson, Avondale, Goodyear, Litchfield Park, Sun City, Sun City West, Sun City Grand, Sun Lakes, Surprise, Laveen, Apache Junction, Gold Canyon, and half of the Mexican border.

2. The morning rush hour is from 4:00 am to noon. The evening rush hour is from noon to 9:00 PM. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.

3. The minimum acceptable speed on most freeways is 85 mph. On Loop 101, your speed is expected to match the highway number. Anything less is considered 'Wussy'.

4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. For example, cars/trucks with the loudest mufflers go first at a four-way stop; the trucks with the biggest tires go second. However, in the East Valley , SUV-driving, cell phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.

5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended.

6. Never honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It's an offense that can get you shot.

7. Road construction is permanent in Phoenix . Detour barrels are moved around for your entertainment during the night to make the next day's driving a bit more exciting.

8. Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, dogs, barrels, cones, cats, mattresses, shredded tires, rabbits, vultures, javelinas, roadrunners, and the coyotes feeding on any of these items.

9. Maricopa Freeway, Papago Freeway and the 'I-10' are the same road. SR202 is the same road as The Red Mountain FWY. Dunlap and Olive are the same street too Northern and Shea are the same street. Also Glendale Ave. becomes Lincoln Drive.Jefferson becomes Washington , but they are not the same street. I-17 is also called The Black Canyon Freeway as well as The Veterans Memorial Highway.
The Superstition is also known as US 60. The 101, 202 and 303 remain a large mystery to most of us. It is not yet determined if there is a Red Mountain and a San Tan or just a Red/Tan Mountain.
The SR51 has recently been renamed to Piestewa Freeway because Squaw Peak Parkway was too easy to pronounce. SR101 is also the Pima FWY except west of I-17, which is also The Black Canyon FWY, and The Veterans Memorial HWY..
Lastly, Thunderbird Rd. becomes Cactus Rd. -- but, Cactus Rd. doesn't become Thunderbird Rd. because it dead ends at a mountain.

10. If someone actually has their turn signal on, it has been 'accidentally activated.'

11. If you are in the left lane and only driving 70 in a 55-65 mph zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be 'flipped off' accordingly. If you return the flip, you'll be shot.

12. For summer driving, it is advisable to wear potholders on your hands.

13. Please note that there are many, MANY more issues to the phenomenon of driving in Phoenix-- like the 4-cars-through-a-red-light rule -- but these will at least get you acquainted with our unique life on the road

Michael2007
06-30-12, 15:33
Coming from
Northern Az these rules are absolutely true. The street name changes has led to many an arguement in my car.

Packman73
06-30-12, 16:08
I'm partial to #11.;)

drrufo
06-30-12, 18:10
You forgot to add my aunt to the list. She waves to everyone and pulls out in front of any car. She has driven this way all her life AFAIK and is still driving. SHe had her 90th birthday a couple of weeks ago. I an sure she will never get a ticket....

John Andersen

TehLlama
07-02-12, 12:21
12 is so true.

Rodman24
07-02-12, 14:14
I was in Phoenix with my father a couple of years back. I tend to go with the flow and pick up pretty quickly on the local traffic. But that meant that I hand to br creative with the traffic laws.

My father is a real stickler about traffic rules and it didn't take long for him to drive me nuts. So made him drive. I laughed so hard it hurt. One of the few times I've seen him lose his cool.

He made me drive the next day. He handed me the keys and said "I'll keep quiet."

K Town
07-06-12, 03:10
SUV-driving, cell phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.

I damn near fell out of my chair from laughing so hard :lol:.

Packman73
07-06-12, 15:17
I like that one too lol.

g5m
07-07-12, 10:46
That is truly reported!