Far too young to die.

[kwelz]

My original thread title was going to be **** Cancer but I figured that might get me in trouble.

I have a very close friend. She is 33 years old. 10 years ago she fought off Breast cancer and had to have both of hers removed. She survived the cancer, the Chemo, and everything else to go with it.

Friday she found out she has bilateral ovarian cancer. It has already spread far more than they thought it should in the amount of time she has had it.

Why the **** do young women like herself have to deal with this shit while the wastes of air we all deal with every day live to be 80+.

[C-grunt]

That sucks man. My wife and I both have lost good friends to cancer when they were in their teens a d twenties.

The only thing you can do is live your life and love your friends and family because they can disappear at any moment.

[BufordTJustice]

I'm sorry brother. Prayers sent for her and her family.

Sent from my Samsung Galaxy Epic 4G Touch

[HES]

Sorry to hear this. I had a kid in my squad back in 1990. 6 months out of basic he went on sick call and didn't come back until late that night. A few days later we find out that it's testicular cancer. :(

Shitty part is that the Army wanted to discharge him and pawn him off on the VA. Our Bridge Commander went ape shit over that. The kid was eventually sent to a post closer to his home and that was the last I ever heard from him. Strange thing is that he gave me a pair of dress shoes he had as he was packing and over 20 years later I cannot bring myself to throw them out.

[Moose-Knuckle]

I hear you bro,

In March I buried an uncle who lost his battle with leukemia and in June I lost a close friend to pancreatic and liver cancer, she had two boys (11 and 14). Their father just had one of his kidneys removed due to cancer (he married my wife and I).

[BrigandTwoFour]

It never feels OK to have to bury a friend, especially when they are young.

In January of this year, one of my best friends passed away while training with NSW2 in Virginia Beach- he was 28. He was a young Navy LT and was one of the biggest contributing factors to me doing as well as I have done in the Air Force. I can understand, though still dislike, if a friend is killed in combat while on missions with folks who do missions I'll never hear about. But in this case, he just collapsed during an obstacle course and just never woke up.

i never got the final details from the family, as it was really none of my business. But the Navy was leaning towards some undiagnosed heart defect. I never knew what to make of that, as the guy was one of the most fit people I've ever known.

[Waylander]

It never feels OK to have to bury a friend, especially when they are young.

In January of this year, one of my best friends passed away while training with NSW2 in Virginia Beach- he was 28. He was a young Navy LT and was one of the biggest contributing factors to me doing as well as I have done in the Air Force. I can understand, though still dislike, if a friend is killed in combat while on missions with folks who do missions I'll never hear about. But in this case, he just collapsed during an obstacle course and just never woke up.

i never got the final details from the family, as it was really none of my business. But the Navy was leaning towards some undiagnosed heart defect. I never knew what to make of that, as the guy was one of the most fit people I've ever known.

I lost my best friend to drunk driving 5 years ago this Thanksgiving. He was 32 and an only child. I still visit his parents from time to time. You want to do all you can for them but you can't really do anything except talk to them and hopefully help them feel better for a short time. We don't go into graphic details because I think it's just unimaginable to them to think about, much less talk about, how violently he died. It's really hard to think about what to say and not say but if you were a close friend of their son, I'd be willing to bet they will share more than you think. Maybe just expressing your confusion or 'not knowing' would encourage them to share more with you. Some people are very private though so it's hard to say without knowing them.

I regret not spending more time with my friend and having almost a year long difference not speaking to one another over something very stupid now in hindsight. Luckily, my wife coerced me to invite him to our wedding and that was the last time I saw him. I feel better that he knew we were all good.

To the OP...

I recently saw a movie "Hereafter" which gave me a different view on dealing with losses of family and friends. Even though I'm not a very spiritual person, I enjoyed it quite a bit.

There's a show "8 Simple Rules" I watch with my wife that starred John Ritter and when he died they worked it into the show. The wife I think was talking about how unfair it was that her husband had died so young. Her father said something like, "Sweetheart, if life was fair, after the way I've behaved all these years I wouldn't have you wonderful kids in my life." It took me a moment to realize what he meant because I'd never thought about it that way.

Sometimes we get treated better than we think we should've but sometimes we get crap dumped on us that we feel we don't deserve. A person dying young that has touched more lives than a POS that's 100 years old is worth itself a hundred times over. We are lucky we got to spend that short time with them.

Support her the best you can. Help her hope for the best because the seemingly impossible could happen. Just being there for her and cheering her on could help her body be stronger and not give up as fast. Do as much as you can for her in the time she has left.

Best wishes to you all.

[NWPilgrim]

Cancer is a terrible disease. I've lost a 6 yr old boy cousin, 15 yr old girl cousin (same family, and both leukemia), 43 yr old sister, an aunt, uncle and grandmother, and numerous friends in the 40s and 50s to cancer. I once hated cancer almost personally, but after seeing my dad die of Parkinson's and numerous family friends dying of Alzheimer's I realize cancer is just one of several terrible blights on humanity.

Watching the two kids go through the pain of cancer and chemo treatment and marrow transplants and recurrence was heartrending. My uncle and aunt became alcoholics after the daughter's death and several more lives destroyed because of that.

Reading the lives of several of the Saints and I see many of them died from terrible diseases at young ages as well, or by youthful martyrdom. Goodness of a person has nothing to do with length of life. The good and the of both die young and grow old. All the more reason we should treasure those we love while we and they are alive, and hold close our memories of them afterward.

If you are spiritual, especially as a Christian, then death is not the end. Not only can we continue to talk to them, but we have a duty of love and charity to continue praying for them and asking them to pray for us, just as we did when they were alive. Their souls still exist and now are beyond physical suffering, and we can continue our conversation and relationship with them. The body will die but we (and they) can have everlasting life.

If you are not spiritually inclined then it doesn't much matter as death would just be and end. The deceased would know nothing of what was lost prematurely and are not suffering. It is only those who remain who suffer the loss.

Somehow we grow up with a sense that life should be fair and the just should suffer less than the evil. If the world can persecute, torture and execute the Son of God, then the world has more than enough evil to poison, break and destroy any other innocent life that walks the face of the earth. Life, at least on earth, is not fair and many innocents suffer as a result. It is heartbreaking to lose them, especially when young and a lot to look forward to.

[Sensei]

It sounds like she has the Hereditary Breast - Ovarian Cancer Syndrome (HBOCS) which is due to certain gene mutations such as BRCA1/2. Tragically, this is not all that rare, and a real bad hand to be dealt in life.

I hope that she gets excellent care from her medical staff, and her family gets the support they need. Prayers sent.

[SteyrAUG]

I learned long ago that death and disease has no respect for the living.

Bad enough when any good person dies having lived a full life. It's even worse then the young or the exceptionally good die or get diseases like cancer. The strong and determined who fight against the odds for years only make the situation that much more unacceptable.

I used to volunteer for certain charities but honestly it only took a few kids with cancer who died to kill my ability to stay involved. I simply wasn't strong enough to keep going through that.

There was one kid who had leukemia and successfully did a bone marrow transplant and beat all the odds only to die of heart failure after the procedure.

I've known some really good people who went through a lot and had it "beat" only to have it come back with a vengeance. Meanwhile child molesting ****s survive with HIV for 20 years.

[SeriousStudent]

kwelz - prayers sent for your friend. I do hope for the best for her and her family and friends.

[montanadave]

It sounds like she has the Hereditary Breast - Ovarian Cancer Syndrome (HBOCS) which is due to certain gene mutations such as BRCA1/2. Tragically, this is not all that rare, and a real bad hand to be dealt in life.

I hope that she gets excellent care from her medical staff, and her family gets the support they need. Prayers sent.

Count my wife in that group. She was diagnosed with breast cancer at age 27, had bilateral mastectomies with chemo and radiation, and will be taking her 22-year survival lap at the Relay For Life in a few days. She also had a total hysterectomy a couple of years ago after multiple abnormal paps, etc. She has lost her mother, two aunts, and a half-dozen cousins to breast and ovarian cancer.

She recalls thinking "why me?" after her initial diagnosis, but as she met other patients during her treatment, went on to volunteer with Reach For Recovery and other cancer survivor groups, and has spent fifteen years working as a radiation oncology RN, she now sees it as a "why not me?"

To the OP, I wish the best for your friend. Even in the midst of dire illness, there can still be healing. There are some very thoughtful responses in the previous posts with excellent advice.

[mallowpufft]

Sorry to hear that. I lost a classmate of mine to Leukemia last year. He was 27. Only diagnosed with it two years ago.

My wife is an oncogy nurse and usually handles it well enough when she has to bag people that have been around for a while. The ones that go young make her (and most of her coworkers) cry for a long time. Last year they had a "regular" patient of theirs die. She was 26 and had two young kids. My wife didn't talk much for the next few weeks. Our kids got lots of cuddles for a while. I can't imagine the pain of families going through situations like this. Best of luck to you and yours in this heart wrenching time.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I847 using Tapatalk 2

[usmcvet]

Prayers out. 2 time leukemia survivor myself. It ****ing pisses me off.

[kwelz]

Thanks all.

Sadly in her case it is hereditary. She lost her mom and numerous other relatives to cancer.

I made the decision yesterday that I am getting a tattoo to show my support for her. Her and her husband are getting teal and pink ribbons done. Considering how important she has been too me in my life.... Well the least I can do is the same.

At first I was trying to figure out how to make a pink and teal tattoo manly. Then I said **** it. If supporting your friend isn't "manly" then nothing is.

[usmcvet]

I ordered a pink badge. I'm going to wear it breast cancer month and hang in my office the other eleven months. I think it is October.

http://www.uniformmarketnews.com/companies/1698-vh-blackinton-a-co-launches-breast-cancer-awareness-product-line.html

[HAMMERDROP]

Sorry to hear about your friend my prayers for her bravery...my wife is a bc survivor.
Cancer has changed our life for the bad it has sucked dry every irreplacable resourse we had.
I have been wearing a 'pink' bracelet in support of cancer patients everywhere since 2008 and it never comes off.
Just let somebody make fun of it and they will die like they were mobbed by hyenas.
Am I angry about my wifes cancer? Very much so...and getting angrier by the day!

Michael

[chuckman]

Why does it happen? After 20+ years in the medical field and years with Uncle Sam, my answer: "shit happens." It does not make it right, easy, good, whatever. Shit happens to good people, often for no reason, and that's that. BTW, I, too have had cancer.

[SMETNA]

Thick history of Colon cancer on both sides in my family.

What I don't understand is why most of the emphasis in research is on treatment and cure, and not cause?

I have a few theories, read an article now and again, but the cause of a malignant tumor hasn't been nailed down. That's what I can't stand.

Chemicals/preservatives? Packaging/plastics/BPA? GMOs? Nobody knows definatively. THAT needs to get 90% of the research funding and attention IMO.