What shaped your "dark side" in the past?

[sadmin]

Those with a past, and now reformed in the sense of a model citizen, what in your past aided you into those dark times?

This is not a glorification of wrong, or a thread to post your dirty laundry under the cloak of anonymity, but rather a question to pose whether you just chose wrong because of youth, peers, media, an event, or none at all. Can you quantitate exposure in terms of morality?




Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk; coherency may be in jeopardy.

[SteyrAUG]

I have a well developed dark side, but it was born of the wrong done to me, not what I have done to others. And when it has been applied to others, it was rarely wrong. In most cases it was richly deserved by those who went above and beyond in their efforts to wrong me.

I have only a few incidents where I have done wrong to others who were undeserving or innocent. Most of those were completely unintentional or a case of being young, thoughtless and inconsiderate, not that it excuses those actions. Thankfully none of them were severe, but they bother me to this day to think about them.

I wish I could be left alone so that I could simply leave others alone. But there seems to be an endless supply of people who just aren't capable of doing that.

[Evil Colt 6920]

Fast money was my poison. It was an addiction that was very hard to beat, driven purely by greed

[montanadave]

The usual suspects. Difficult time fitting in when I hit my teens. Discovered the ease with which drugs, principly alcohol, could alleviate that discomfort. And with a strong family history of alcoholism, it was like throwin' a match in a bucket of gasoline.

The rest, as they say, is history. I don't think I was ever a "bad" person, just a guy who blew a lot of opportunities and, ultimately, treated some people I cared very deeply for in some pretty shoddy ways. When I could no longer reconcile my actions with the person I believed myself to be, it was time for a change of course.

I got lucky. I sobered up and it took. And, lo and behold, most of my problems (and problematic behaviors) went the way of the dodo.

[Moose-Knuckle]

Never allowed myself to be seduced by the Dark Side, card carrying member of the Jedi Order here.

[SMETNA]

I never did anything too bad. I've never been arrested for anything.

But for a while I was pretty self-absorbed and treating life like recess on the playground, smoking a fair amount of herb in the process.

The whispering voice in my head telling me I have no future the way I was going grew into a shout after a while. So I changed. I got serious about adulthood and started using my head.

Funny thing is, now I've been reading Atlas Shrugged on and off for a while, and it talks about how selfishness isn't wrong, but natural. And self-sacrifice is essentially a moral scam. Hah!

[Magic_Salad0892]

The place I grew up was awful, and I was born into the wrong crowd.

I was in and out of jail all the time when I was a kid. But I straightened up in time to not screw up my life.

I partied a lot, and did a lot of stupid shit. Drugs, and alchohol. But the mistakes I made from like 17-21 are the ones I don't regret.

[THCDDM4]

I also have a "Dark side" that was born out of others doing me wrong. And like Steyr; I used it on a few others deserving of such. Never those undeserving.

I was very self-destructive and destructive in general for a long time.

I had ample opportunities to be succesul in several disciplines, but said "****-it" time and time again. I had a hard time allowing myself to be happy in any sense.

I'm still not sure exactly why, I just felt like I wanted the world to burn and I didn't want to be a part of society as it existed- so why play along; if you get my drift. I was an outsider; and hated just about everything and everyone.

I'm still not really sure how I rid myself of the constant self-torture/destruction; it happened very slowly- over time I guess. The two biggest factors in my "recovery" if you will; my dog and meeting/falling in love with my beautiful wife.

Before I met my wife I had faith/trust in no one other than my mother, departed grandfather & my dog- I truly believed I would not find anyone worth trusting or loving let alone sharing myself with.

Now, everyday I feel the need to better myself and strive to help others better themselves; to honor & love my wife/family with all of my heart and to live life with a true sense of life.

[Dirk Williams]

I'm surprised I'm still alive. High school 70/74. Got jammed up, asked the judge to allow me to go military, he took a chance I went Navy 75/83.

Got out charges were reduced for the good of all. Also got a DUII in the Navy.

Went to,work DOD, was in the National Guard 12-B and working SWAT competitions with my unit. Cops liked me and recruited me. Had a long frank chat with the swat guys about my past.

Virtually everyone of them laughed and stated, the on
Y difference between me and them was that I had gotten caught.

Was in the Police Academy 4 weeks later and 16 weeks after that I was I law enforcement.

I've spent a career working the streets, where I could repay my debt to the people I had the honor of serving.

Won't lie, my career was stressful, I spent my career sticking up for the people not the system.

Never tested for promotions , always took the tough beats and worked nights most of my career. Bottom line SOMEONE up high in multiple agency cut me an opportunity to make up for my past.

Like popeyes used to say. I Yams what I Yams.

No regrets. I have to believe I got at least part of the journey right.

DW

[SMETNA]

I'm still not sure exactly why, I just felt like I wanted the world to burn and I didn't want to be a part of society as it existed- so why play along; if you get my drift. I was an outsider; and hated just about everything and everyone.

I feel like this now. About 3/4 of the time. It's acute cynicism. Everything is shit. I didn't sign up for this. What a terrible period to be alive during. People are so stupid. Leave me alone. Etc.

I have to remind myself daily that I live easier than 3-5 billion people around the globe, and that it's just in my head. Things don't suck nearly as much as they seem like they do.

[ICANHITHIMMAN]

Never allowed myself to be seduced by the Dark Side, card carrying member of the Jedi Order here.

I had the same experience, Lets call me sheltered but not by family, by the place I lived. I never had any hate for anyone until I was exposed to their hate for me. So I suppose my dark times are now, but its out of anger for the way the world works and my inability to change it. The worst part is I just become more jaded as time passes.

I like this thread gives me a lot of in sight into family and friends

[Reagans Rascals]

boredom....

just flat out, plain old lack of anything substantial going on...


Judas Priest said it best....

There I was completely wasting, out of work and down
All inside it's so frustrating as I drift from town to town
Feel as though nobody cares if I live or die
So I might as well begin to put some action in my life
Breaking the Law, Breaking the Law

BREAKING THE LAW (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L397TWLwrUU)

[QuietShootr]

I had more truly unbelievable opportunities than any kid should have between the ages of 0 and 21. I wasted almost all of them.

The turning point for my real ****-up stuff, though, was when my grandpa sat me down when I was about 16 and told me I had a choice - I could be a gun guy or a **** up, but not both. He explained in no uncertain terms that choosing '**** up' meant that the one thing I loved most in the world I would be legally barred from.

THAT made an impression.

Guns kept me OUT of serious trouble, because however much fun something looked, it never looked like enough fun to never be able to have or carry a gun. In my state, you can get a license to carry at 18, and everyone I knew had one. They had made their choice, and I wound up making mine.

Other than that, I echo Steyr's comments 100%.

[SteyrAUG]

boredom....

just flat out, plain old lack of anything substantial going on...


Judas Priest said it best....


BREAKING THE LAW (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L397TWLwrUU)


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ad1Umj6hxMw

[Moose-Knuckle]

I had the same experience, Lets call me sheltered but not by family, by the place I lived.

Yeah I was raised by both my mother and father (who have been married now for 39 years) in rural TX.

My mother says it best; I had my terrible two's from two till about twelve. I was hellion as a youngster. But when I hit my teens I was good as gold. My parents had complete trust in me, never had a curfew, etc. My father told me the best advice my sophomore year of high school, "stay a kid as long as you can". I was in no hurry to grow up. I didn’t' get my DL till I was 18 cause I didn't want to have to pay for insurance, gas, and all the responsibilities that come with a car. Our QB in HS had a kid at age 16 so that was a great reason for me to keep the horse in the barn. Also my mother's youngest sibling and my father's youngest sibling had a lot of runs with the law due to their self-destructive behaviors, mostly with alcohol so as a kid I got see the consequences to their actions, cause and effect.

When I embarked on my career in LE every agency I tested with always gave me shit during my polygraph screening because I put down that I have never even tried an illegal substance. None of them believed me LOL but I past. One of my life’s mottos has always been “be your own best-friend” and it has served me well.

[SteyrAUG]

When I embarked on my career in LE every agency I tested with always gave me shit during my polygraph screening because I put down that I have never even tried an illegal substance. None of them believed me LOL but I past.

Same here. Every single one of them was generally skeptical about the fact that I never even tried weed.

Used to always make me wonder just what the **** kind of people they were actually hiring.

[theblackknight]

When I was in grade school i used to take the chrome/anodized valve stem caps off of people's cars(we called them chromies) in the big office park by my house, and sell them for 50c a set so i could get extra choc milk at lunch. Having a stacked supply of chromies and choc milks can get you a lot of things on the playground.

XXXX insurance employees, im sorry. If we even meet, ill buy you a stiff glass of choc milk.:D

sent from mah gun,using my sights

[theblackknight]

Same here. Every single one of them was generally skeptical about the fact that I never even tried weed.

Used to always make me wonder just what the **** kind of people they were actually hiring.

I had the same reaction from my recruiter until i was the only one not laughing and offered him a freshly plucked hair from my head.

sent from mah gun,using my sights

[Dirk Williams]

I used to shoot with some snipers out of Oakland Ca. I actually applied with them in 1988. After reviewing their application process I noted that the questions regarding drugs, asked

Have you done drugs in the past six months. six months. Prior to that everywhere app asked if you had done dope in the past three years.

Amazing.