View Full Version : Good read: i am adam lanzas mother.
sinlessorrow
12-16-12, 14:53
http://thebluereview.org/i-am-adam-lanzas-mother/
Serious mental illness like that is really pushed back on the family. We really don't have a solution.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JHNi5wZ7in4
http://www.inquisitr.com/435173/half-of-people-shot-by-police-are-mentally-ill-investigation-claims/
http://www.addictinginfo.org/2012/08/18/police-shoot-and-kill-mentally-ill-man-over-30-shots-fired-graphic-video/
It's endless.... you can find these all day long.
That really is problem... mental illness. Serious mental illness. The media will try to equate this ordeal in CT to a Saturday night shooting in a drug deal between two drunks but it's far from that.
montanadave
12-16-12, 17:04
Thanks for posting that article.
I wish there were answers for dealing with these types of people.
The story reminded me of a young man from my home town that twisted off in college. He shot and killed one of his professors and a fellow student and wounded three other students and a security guard. Another bright kid, excellent musician, who was on scholarship at a prestigious liberal arts college in Massachusetts. He was reported to have voiced opinions which many fellow students considered racist, homophobic, and anti-semitic, which led to him feeling ostracized by his fellow students.
When he received a package of ammo in the mail, he went and bought a SKS rifle and proceeded to go on a shooting rampage.
On December 14, 1992. Twenty years to the day before Adam Lanza walked into Sandy Hook Elementary and slaughtered those children and teachers.
http://murderpedia.org/male.L/l/lo-wayne.htm
When asked about the shootings, his mom said, "These things that happened I still cannot figure out. Wayne is a fine boy, a lovely boy. He cares about family, he cares about friends. I really don't understand what happened."
Sound familiar?
His folks, who had immigrated to the U.S. from Taiwan, ran a restaurant here in town. It was just down the street and I ate there once in a while. The kid worked in the family restaurant. He might have taken my order or served my food. After the shooting and the news coverage, they sold the restaurant and moved away. Their son is serving two life sentences in a Massachusetts prison.
I have a couple of question's for "Adam's Mom." First, where is Dad? His presence in the mess that you describe is conspicuously absent. I know, society has made you believe that single moms do a bang-up job at raising boys and dads are, shall we say, optional. After all, having a father involved in your son's life would never have prevented this by helping set boundaries and enforcing consequences. BTW, had I called my Mom a "bitch" or threatened to kill her, my Dad would have done a lot more than take away my electronic privileges for a day.
Next, you say that your kid has a mental illness. Oh really, what mental illness does he have? Does he suffer from depression, schizophrenia, or bipolar? I wonder why all those psych meds aren't working? Could it be that he has a severe conduct disturbance and oppositional defiant disorder? Guess what lady, those are not real mental illnesses. Those are behavioral disorders that compassionate but misguided doctors give to kids so that their parents will not feel like they did a shitty job raising their rug rat. I suppose that you are learning the hard lesson that drugs don't really help these conditions. After all, they've not come up with a little blue pill to called Dad. Sorry, I had to circle back to my original point.
Finally, you say that your son is not a criminal, and that juvenile detention will not help him. Isn't it ironic that you still feel this despite multiple documented assaults and apparent threats to your other children. Well lady, here's a newsflash: I'm done trying to help your little Adam. What I want to do is keep your little gem away from my son. Despite lots of drugs and countless dollars wasted on hospitalizations, your kid is shaping up to be the next Michael Meyers or Jason Voorhees. It's time to put your kid where he belongs before someone else has to put him in the dirt. Do yourself and society a favor and press criminal charges every time he threatens you or grabs a weapon.
In the end, I suspect that you will not follow my advice. You probably will not see your own culpability when Adam does snap and hurts somebody. You'll go on with your tired line that the "system" failed to devote sufficient funds to prevent the tragedy that looms on the horizon. Oh well, I guess that kids like Adam are a reason that guys like me carry a gun.
One last favor before I go spend some time with my son: next time you see Adam's father, punch him in the nuts for his role in screwing up this kid.
HackerF15E
12-16-12, 17:14
http://thebluereview.org/i-am-adam-lanzas-mother/
Great, great read. Thanks for sharing it!
sinlessorrow
12-16-12, 17:16
Sensei...adam lanza shot up that school and murdered his mother.
This was a lady who was saying guns are not the problem, its the lack of care for mental health patients and that the only way to do anythin with them is toget them arrested. She compared herself to adam lanzas mother seeing as her son was like adam lanza, just hasnt murdered anyone.
10 TELL-TALE SIGNS
1. They persistently hurt, bully or fight others, or violate their rights by stealing or vandalising.
2. They break major rules, such as running away from home or staying out late.
3. They show no guilt when told off for doing wrong, e.g., pushing another child into the road.
4. They show a persistent callous disregard for other people’s feelings — not just siblings (e.g., pushing another child off a swing and being unmoved by their distress).
5. They persistently don’t care about how well they do in, say, school, even when the expectations are clear and they are capable.
6. They seem cold and unfeeling, only showing emotions to intimidate or manipulate.
7. They blame others for their mistakes, rather than accept responsibility themselves.
8. They are fearless and like doing novel and dangerous activities.
9. They are unmoved by the threat of punishment (e.g., ‘if you do that, I am going to take away your bike’).
10. They are highly motivated by reward or what they’ll get out of something, even if it hurts others (e.g., stealing).
Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2155489/Is-child-psychopath-Its-common-think--spot-danger-signs-young-three.html#ixzz2FGCFD2iC
Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook
I believe that there is precious little that can be done with the ops son, psychopaths are thought of, by a great many professionals, as untreatable...
montanadave
12-16-12, 17:36
Sensei:
You have stated both here and elsewhere that many of these young men committing such heinous acts in all likelihood have a personality disorder rather than depression, schizophrenia, etc. And I think your assessment is probably accurate. You've also acknowledged that personality disorders are often refractory to intervention and treatment. Again, I agree.
So I'm not looking for an argument but seeking clarification. Do you not consider personality disorders a mental health disorder? And do you honestly think a disciplinarian father is sufficient to "cure" an individual with a personality disorder?
I don't doubt the benefits of a traditional family in providing a more stable environment conducive to rearing well-balanced children (although I do not think it essential), but I have met many parents in traditional marriages who, despite having access to all manner of resources, were overwhelmed and defeated by kids with severe personality disorders. How do you propose to intervene with these kids or do you feel we should just wait until they commit a violent crime and institutionalize them in the penal system?
Kid sounds like he needs the crap beat out of him, strongly and repeatedly, until he learns to respect his elders and authority.
That "medicine" seemed to work for the past 5,000 years or so, right up until the pharmacopeia society of the 50s-60s pushed actual medicine (drugs) both legal and illegal as a way to mask insubordination and relabeled such behavior as mental illnesses.
Also sounds like they waited too long to start (or never got around to) instilling real discipline in him, so now that he's a teenager, his will is too stubborn and it's too late to instill proper behavior in him outside of screwing with his mind via drug-induced states. And we wonder why that makes some of them go crazy and commit crimes?
It's not JUST having a traditional family that matters, though that often helps. It is also the ability to discipline a child properly that goes a long way to determining whether they will respect authority and their elders and become a productive member of society.
Sensei:
You have stated both here and elsewhere that many of these young men committing such heinous acts in all likelihood have a personality disorder rather than depression, schizophrenia, etc. And I think your assessment is probably accurate. You've also acknowledged that personality disorders are often refractory to intervention and treatment. Again, I agree.
So I'm not looking for an argument but seeking clarification. Do you not consider personality disorders a mental health disorder? And do you honestly think a disciplinarian father is sufficient to "cure" an individual with a personality disorder?
I don't doubt the benefits of a traditional family in providing a more stable environment conducive to rearing well-balanced children (although I do not think it essential), but I have met many parents in traditional marriages who, despite having access to all manner of resources, were overwhelmed and defeated by kids with severe personality disorders. How do you propose to intervene with these kids or do you feel we should just wait until they commit a violent crime and institutionalize them in the penal system?
I suppose that you could somehow contort yourself to lump them into the broad category of "mental health disorders," along with a host of other conditions that are best handled by the criminal justice system. I would not call them a mental illness, or in anyway suggest that they are amendable to psychotherapy, medication, or hospitalization.
I'm also not looking for a cure because that ship has sailed in most instances. What I'm talking about is prevention. While there are no guarantees, a stable family that is free of substances provides the best chance of keeping a son from becoming a sociopathic killer, and a daughter from becoming a borderline slut that spreads like peanut butter. Disagree if you want, but in my 10 years of working in a county safety net, I can't remember a single one of these male children with a stable, loving, traditional family.
Thus, I have to wonder about single mothers whose best response to their son saying, "die bitch" is to ground him for a day. Personally, I think that they need to look in the mirror when searching for most of the answers.
Thus, I have to wonder about single mothers whose best response to their son saying, "die bitch" is to ground him for a day. Personally, I think that they need to look in the mirror when searching for most of the answers.
Something is seriously wrong with an adult that would even consider that response. Or in fact not be stopped dead in their tracks upon hearing that comment.
I'd really like to read this article but it won't pull up for me at all. I know we can't post it, but if anyone can read it, can they PM it to me? Thanks!
I believe that there is precious little that can be done with the ops son, psychopaths are thought of, by a great many professionals, as untreatable...
While there may be some cultural differences in the terminology between Britain and the US, that description is classic for a SOCIOpath. These are the people who are aware of the world, but have no respect for the rights of others. They may even enjoy the act of inflicting suffering. There is no effective medication for this condition.
On the other hand, PSYCHOpath is an outdated term in the US that describes people suffering psychosis. This is a condition most often seen in schizophrenia, true bipolar, and very severe depression is characterized by abnormal awareness of the world. They often hear voices, have delusional beliefs, and disorganized patterns of thinking. While they are often withdrawn and prone to suicide, people with psychosis are rarely a threat to others. Organized mass violence as seen in CT and CO is very rare due to the nature of the disability. They are also amendable to treatment with a host of medications and psychotherapy.
I'm not trying to bust your balls, but I want to distinguish the two since one is a real mental illness and the other is a behavioral disorder. Folks with depression and schizophrenia carry enough burdens without having to bear the stigma that is caused by society's assholes.
@gtg........The site seems intermittent. Tried to save but couldnt. Must be getting a lot of traffic
montanadave
12-16-12, 18:54
I'd really like to read this article but it won't pull up for me at all. I know we can't post it, but if anyone can read it, can they PM it to me? Thanks!
I had the same problem. Google "I am Adam Lanza's mother." The content is available on multiple sites.
Something is seriously wrong with an adult that would even consider that response. Or in fact not be stopped dead in their tracks upon hearing that comment.
I can't understand it. I bought him all those Eminem CDs he wanted and now he talks to me like them. 2+2 is difficult math for me to process. :alcoholic:
I had the same problem. Google "I am Adam Lanza's mother." The content is available on multiple sites.
Thanks for the tip! Reading it now.
montanadave
12-16-12, 19:10
Thinking about these types of "problem" kids reminds me of a book I read years ago in a psych nursing course titled "Inside the Criminal Mind" by Stanton Samenow.
Samenow advocated for a therapy model which was predicated on identifying and correcting patterns of criminal thinking. What I found novel was his approach in motivating people to engage in treatment. Rather than trying to get clients to feel empathy for their victims or remorse for their actions, he simply appealed to their overwhelming self-interest by confronting them with choosing between several alternatives:
1. Keep engaging in their current pattern of behavior and suffer the consequences, namely being incarcerated or being killed by another person who behaved the same way they did.
2. Commit suicide, which would actually be doing society a favor.
3. Start acting like civilized human being and accept responsibility for their actions.
I have no idea how you deal with those who choose option #2 but feel compelled to hurt as many people as possible before they end their own lives.
I have a couple of question's for "Adam's Mom." First, where is Dad? His presence in the mess that you describe is conspicuously absent. I know, society has made you believe that single moms do a bang-up job at raising boys and dads are, shall we say, optional. After all, having a father involved in your son's life would never have prevented this by helping set boundaries and enforcing consequences. BTW, had I called my Mom a "bitch" or threatened to kill her, my Dad would have done a lot more than take away my electronic privileges for a day.
Next, you say that your kid has a mental illness. Oh really, what mental illness does he have? Does he suffer from depression, schizophrenia, or bipolar? I wonder why all those psych meds aren't working? Could it be that he has a severe conduct disturbance and oppositional defiant disorder. Guess what lady, those are not real mental illnesses. Those are behavioral disorders that compassionate but misguided doctors give to kids so that their parents will not feel like they did a shitty job raising their rug rat. I suppose that you are learning the hard lesson that drugs don't really help these conditions. After all, they've not come up with a little blue pill to called Dad. Sorry, I had to circle back to my original point.
Finally, you say that your son is not a criminal, and that juvenile detention will not help him. Isn't it ironic that you still feel this despite multiple documented assaults and apparent threats to your other children. Well lady, here's a newsflash: I'm done trying to help your little Adam. What I want to do is keep you little Adam away from my son. Despite lots of drugs and countless dollars wasted on hospitalizations, your kid is shaping up to be the next Michael Meyers or Jason Voorhees. It's time to put your kid where he belongs before someone else has to put him in the dirt. Do yourself and society a favor and press criminal charges every time he threatens you or grabs a weapon.
In the end, I suspect that you will not follow my advice. You probably will not see your own culpability when Adam does snap and hurts somebody. You'll go on with your tired line that the "system" failed to devote sufficient funds to prevent the tragedy that looms on the horizon. Oh well, I guess that kids like Adam are a reason that guys like me carry a gun.
One last favor before I go spend some time with my son: next time you see Adam's father, punch him in the nuts for his role in screwing up this kid.
****ing THANK YOU.
But we shouldn't be too quick to lay blame on the father, maybe there was a very valid reason he left. And I've seen many a father with "no say" in how their wife raises the kids.
While there may be some cultural differences in the terminology between Britain and the US, that description is classic for a SOCIOpath. These are the people who are aware of the world, but have no respect for the rights of others. They may even enjoy the act of inflicting suffering. There is no effective medication for this condition.
On the other hand, PSYCHOpath is an outdated term in the US that describes people suffering psychosis. This is a condition most often seen in schizophrenia, true bipolar, and very severe depression is characterized by abnormal awareness of the world. They often hear voices, have delusional beliefs, and disorganized patterns of thinking. While they are often withdrawn and prone to suicide, people with psychosis are rarely a threat to others. Organized mass violence as seen in CT and CO is very rare due to the nature of the disability. They are also amendable to treatment with a host of medications and psychotherapy.
I'm not trying to bust your balls, but I want to distinguish the two since one is a real mental illness and the other is a behavioral disorder. Folks with depression and schizophrenia carry enough burdens without having to bear the stigma that is caused by society's assholes.
Outward Behavior of a Sociopath
•Sociopaths tend to be extremely disorganized.
•They are unable to maintain normal relationships with family, friends, or co-workers.
•They are often unable to keep steady employment or housing.
•They often live literally at the fringes of society. In a study of the homeless people who live in the subway tunnels of New York City, a disproportionately large number of them were classed as sociopaths.
•Their outbreaks of violence are erratic and unplanned. Sociopaths are easier to identify and apprehend as they generally leave behind a large trail of clues.
Outward Behavior of a Psychopath
•Psychopaths can be almost obsessively organized.
•They can maintain normal social relationships. They may take care of aging parents or be married with children.
•Psychopaths will often be very successful in their careers. Their need for organization is coupled with an ability to make others like and trust them. Because they intellectually understand human emotions but are unable to experience them themselves, they are masters at emotional manipulation.
•They often live in a normal house or apartment, completely indistinguishable from healthy people.
•Psychopaths will take years to plan out acts of violence and revenge. They are very difficult to catch because they will carefully plan each step of the act to ensure they will commit their crime undetected.
Can you agree with the above distinctions? If so, would you classify the murderous act of Mr Lanza, as organized, or disorganized? And "ahh" no, your distinction in no way busts my balls...:)
Best read on the subject I've seen yet. I've posted numerous times on the pathetic state of mental health treatment in Oklahoma. Passing the buck is SOP. It's disgraceful. :(
Can you agree with the above distinctions? If so, would you classify the murderous act of Mr Lanza, as organized, or disorganized? And "ahh" no, your distinction in no way busts my balls...:)
After some quick web searches, it appears that "psychopath" is becoming a popular term in modern culture. It is really not used in medical lingo per se as psychosis is a medical term reserved for affective disorders such as schizophrenia. Thus, it appears that the problem is with me and my lack of culture. Modern medicine still blends the 2 disorders that you outlined under the broad category of antisocial personality disorder. One is just a little more suave than the other. ;)
Sensei...adam lanza shot up that school and murdered his mother.
This was a lady who was saying guns are not the problem, its the lack of care for mental health patients and that the only way to do anythin with them is toget them arrested. She compared herself to adam lanzas mother seeing as her son was like adam lanza, just hasnt murdered anyone.
I'm fully aware of the figurative analogy that she used. That is why my first reference to "Adam" was in quotes and all of my downstream references were laced with sarcasm. I'm saying that no amount of mental health funding will help this situation. That is because it is a behavioral problem and 90% can be traced back to poor parenting skills. In other words, you don't put somebody in a mental hospital or give them medications to instill basic respect for their fellow human and teach consequences.
I wonder if the private prison system has something to do with not having many options for the mentally ill. IMO, the two worst things in the US are private prisons and public charity.
There are reasons why we used to have mental institutions where people could be involuntarily committed. Sometimes it is better for everyone for the seriously mentally ill to be locked up and medicated instead of roaming the streets.
Sadly, beginning in the late 60's/early 70's, the public mental health facilities were emptied and closed their doors. It is virtually impossible to commit a person involuntarily.
The child described in this woman's blog should be removed from society post-haste. At 13, it is too late. He has already learned how to manipulate. Obviously intelligent, he is extremely dangerous and it will not be long before he becomes a predator in society. It would not surprise me if he is already "practicing" on non-human life forms.
There is a guy in prison or dead that I saw a documentary on.
He had a wife and I believe a kid. As I recall he took very good care of them and lived a normal life. He however would just crack and kill someone. He could be having a conversation and suddenly just decide ok, I'm going to kill this person. I'll try to see if I can find his name. He was quite famous. He killed one, cut him up, put him in a trashcan outside a bard he drank at every night and became amazed that he went back two or three nights in a row before anyone even found the body.
So which category does that fall under? I believe you would say he was organized and definitely deceptive. No fear what so ever and no remorse. But I don't see him as possibly treatable.
crusader377
12-17-12, 07:41
I have a couple of question's for "Adam's Mom." First, where is Dad? His presence in the mess that you describe is conspicuously absent. I know, society has made you believe that single moms do a bang-up job at raising boys and dads are, shall we say, optional. After all, having a father involved in your son's life would never have prevented this by helping set boundaries and enforcing consequences. BTW, had I called my Mom a "bitch" or threatened to kill her, my Dad would have done a lot more than take away my electronic privileges for a day.
Next, you say that your kid has a mental illness. Oh really, what mental illness does he have? Does he suffer from depression, schizophrenia, or bipolar? I wonder why all those psych meds aren't working? Could it be that he has a severe conduct disturbance and oppositional defiant disorder? Guess what lady, those are not real mental illnesses. Those are behavioral disorders that compassionate but misguided doctors give to kids so that their parents will not feel like they did a shitty job raising their rug rat. I suppose that you are learning the hard lesson that drugs don't really help these conditions. After all, they've not come up with a little blue pill to called Dad. Sorry, I had to circle back to my original point.
Finally, you say that your son is not a criminal, and that juvenile detention will not help him. Isn't it ironic that you still feel this despite multiple documented assaults and apparent threats to your other children. Well lady, here's a newsflash: I'm done trying to help your little Adam. What I want to do is keep your little gem away from my son. Despite lots of drugs and countless dollars wasted on hospitalizations, your kid is shaping up to be the next Michael Meyers or Jason Voorhees. It's time to put your kid where he belongs before someone else has to put him in the dirt. Do yourself and society a favor and press criminal charges every time he threatens you or grabs a weapon.
In the end, I suspect that you will not follow my advice. You probably will not see your own culpability when Adam does snap and hurts somebody. You'll go on with your tired line that the "system" failed to devote sufficient funds to prevent the tragedy that looms on the horizon. Oh well, I guess that kids like Adam are a reason that guys like me carry a gun.
One last favor before I go spend some time with my son: next time you see Adam's father, punch him in the nuts for his role in screwing up this kid.
I think this is spot on. For the last 40 years there has been a slow but steady assault on the american family by the left and we are seeing the consequences.
brickboy240
12-17-12, 16:11
Both parents KNEW this kid had mental problems.
Still....neither did a damn thing to keep firearms away from his hands. His mom (so it is reported) even took him shooting and trained him on the AR!
I blame both parents for this tragedy. One for not being around to raise his kid or make sure his mental son was safe from obtaining guns. the other for enabling him and making access easy for him to the guns.
Sure, the shooter is ultimately to blame but when the shooter is a mentally challenged person....those responsible for his care have to be entered in the equation.
-brickboy240
What we don't know is the context of the trips to the range and if he showed violent tendencies at that time. I am a parent. My kids and I regularly go to the range. If next year I divorce my wife and one of my kids starts to show violent mental issues there is nothing I could do about it. Pretty tough to blame a parent that is trying to include their children in quality family time.
My cousin has an autistic child who loves to go hunting with him. Being in the woods and hunting is their favorite time together. Teaching the kid to shoot has been a challenge, but to my cousin it's no different than teaching him to drive or run a chainsaw. Autism does not equate violence.
brickboy240
12-17-12, 16:44
Maybe...but you still secure your guns when they're left home alone...don't you?
THAT was the biggest part of the problem - allowing a known mental person access to guns when you're not around.
My kid cannot open the safe and blow me away in my own home. She does not have a clue as to the combination to the safe.
-brickboy240
Maybe...but you still secure your guns when they're left home alone...don't you?
THAT was the biggest part of the problem - allowing a known mental person access to guns when you're not around.
My kid cannot open the safe and blow me away in my own home. She does not have a clue as to the combination to the safe.
-brickboy240
How old is your daughter? Has she been trained at all? Do you ever plan to train her or do you consider her untrustworthy at this point in her development?
The reason I ask is because your thoughts on the matter may run counter to many on here. My dad began teaching me when I was around 5 years old. By 6 I was running around with a bb gun mostly unsupervised, hunting by 8 and deer hunting with a 30-30 on my own at 10. At 12 I had my own Remington 1100 12ga. I doubt my experience is typical either, but I'd imagine most are somewhere in the middle.
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