Pointless GD Post #1,872... [Archive]

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SteyrAUG

07-28-13, 18:52

This will seem incredibly trivial to most of you, and for that I apologize but it has been bothering me enough to actually be one of the things I have to "stop thinking about" in order to go to sleep.

The dilemma is a box full of 1970s vintage "Vietnam" green plastic army men such as those depicted here.

http://i.ebayimg.com/t/All-14-poses-Processed-Plastic-TimMee-Vietnam-era-Green-Army-Men-Toy-soldiers-/00/s/ODg1WDEyOTY=/$%28KGrHqUOKikE6e!709-7BOryfRfUP!~~60_1.JPG

I have kept "my army men" for all that time in the belief that they would go to my kids. It's actually a rather nice collection with quite a few M-16 guys, some tanks, trucks, jeeps and even a "jolly green giant" helicopter. Just one problem, I don't have any and at this point probably never will.

A quick trip to ebay quickly demonstrates they have virtually no value whatsoever and I probably paid more almost 40 years ago than they are worth today. Basically they are worth less money than the cost to ship them to somebody.

Besides the fact that I have kept them this long, they are one of the few things I've managed to keep from my childhood and quite a bit was lost in my parents divorce and the sale of the house I grew up in. This makes them hard to throw away.

I don't have any cousins or nephews of "army men" age and there aren't likely to be any in the near future. I don't know any local kids who would be deserving or appreciative of them. It would be like giving some neighborhood kid your cherished Lincoln Logs collection and him trying to smoke one of the sections like a joint. I appreciate my "army men" and all the entertainment and distraction they provided me to sentence them to such an ignominious end.

If I had a large enough home I'd simply come up with a tasteful display that makes me smile whenever I see it. Problem is I have more "stuff" than I have "house" and I'm trying to get rid of the "stuff."

I could probably "compact" storage them in a box which I would put in a closet with all the other stuff I don't want to "throw away" but the reality is all that "stuff" I'll probably never physically see or handle ever again unless I move so it serves almost no value to keep it.

I understand this is mostly psychological and not wanting to part with what remains of my childhood and the things I have kept and valued since then. If I had a suitable candidate that would function as an acceptable caretaker I could pass them and a bunch of other "no actual dollar value" stuff along to them. But kids who think what I thought was cool 40 years ago is still cool and who would be appreciative of such things seem hard to come by.

Any thoughts? And yes I have bigger problems, but this one bothers me regardless.

Ryno12

07-28-13, 19:25

Keep 'em, pack them away in a tote & forget about them. If someday, someone comes along that you feel comfortable giving them to, then pass them on. They mean more to you than their monetary value. I think you'd kick yourself for selling them on eBay to some Joe Dickhead anyway. A few years ago I cleaned out my basement. I donated everything to Goodwill. I got down to one tote that I labeled "priceless gems". It's all crap that has no monetary value but I couldn't get rid of it. I'll hold on to that stuff till I die. At that point, someone else will have to decide what to do with it.
It's not what it is that matters, it's what it means to you that matters. Hold onto it till you find someone who will appreciate it as much as you do.

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Safetyhit

07-28-13, 19:43

Steyr this may be your most interesting post ever. At the very least no one can say you're shallow.

Also, my son plays with army men all the time. :)

kcara

07-28-13, 20:19

This post brings back some memories. I had the same set. I can still remember countless hours playing in the sandbox with these guys. :)

SteyrAUG

07-28-13, 20:44

Well here is some disappointment.

I pulled everything out to take a look at what I have and most of my guys are MIA.

In fact I'm down to TWO GUYS, WWII style and one Vietnam style.

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y145/SteyrAUG/0000000001_zps5ad0b84a.jpg

Somewhere two giant ziplock bags of plastic "hard chargers" failed to make it home.

However I do have an impressive fleet of vehicles and artillery, as well as some bridges, cover, etc.

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y145/SteyrAUG/0000000002_zps21ffabc6.jpg

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y145/SteyrAUG/0000000003_zps3208aace.jpg

Some of them are even finely "hand painted" using the finest testors model paint in order to designate an enemy team.

:D

Ironically enough if there was such a thing as a "plastic detector" and I went to my childhood home I could probably produce a few platoons from the front yard alone. I'm also jogging my memory and I "might" have given my "guys" to my younger cousin decades ago when I was in high school and kept the "cool vehicles" for my kids one day.

sandman99and9

07-28-13, 20:53

I used to have all of those plus a full set of German WW2 army men plus vehicles in gray color :)

S.M.

Ryno12

07-28-13, 21:41

So now instead wondering what you should do with them, you'll be laying in bed wondering what the f*ck you did do with them. :D

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SteyrAUG

07-28-13, 21:44

I used to have all of those plus a full set of German WW2 army men plus vehicles in gray color :)

S.M.

Good god I remember those. I must have had a few bags of those at one time.

Sadly my WWII style American and German soldiers (except for the lone bazooka man above) did not survive the BB gun wars of the late 70s.

My best friend and I was set up opposing forces in my front yard and the rule was you couldn't completely hide your soldiers behind something. We'd then take turns walking up to the line we designated behind our forces and take a single shot at the opposing force. Last person with an unpinged man standing wins the war.

After a few years of such engagements, and those soldiers were remarkably durable considering what we did to them and how often, my collection of WWII style German and American soldiers were finally retired. I think I kept the bazooka man because he was the only one that wasn't noticeably damaged.

During the same late 70s time frame my WWII guys were eventually replaced with Vietnam style soldiers which I used primarily for setting up elaborate mock battles (no BB guns) in the living room. My father was remarkably tolerant.

SteyrAUG

07-28-13, 21:46

So now instead wondering what you should do with them, you'll be laying in bed wondering what the f*ck you did do with them. :D

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I'm now 99% certain I gave them to a younger cousin before I moved out of FL. He'd have been at the right age. Probably the same ones on ebay right now not selling.

Safetyhit

07-28-13, 21:50

I pulled everything out to take a look at what I have and most of my guys are MIA.

Now you have a whole new problem.

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y145/SteyrAUG/0000000003_zps3208aace.jpg

The silver artillery piece in that picture is also sitting on a shelf in my son's room. I had the green one too, they were part of what I think was a WWII castle or base battle set my grandmother got me.

The bizarre parallels continue...

Ryno12

07-28-13, 21:56

The bizarre parallels continue...

Maybe there is some strange time-space continuum thing going on & you're actually Steyr's dad. :)

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tb-av

07-28-13, 21:59

I think I know where they are...... They marched on to Richmond.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aNnwCrN8W1A

SteyrAUG

07-28-13, 22:05

Now you have a whole new problem.

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y145/SteyrAUG/0000000003_zps3208aace.jpg

The silver artillery piece in that picture is also sitting on a shelf in my son's room. I had the green one too, they were part of what I think was a WWII castle or base battle set my grandmother got me.

The bizarre parallels continue...

I thought they might have come from the Navarone Mountain playset but I just looked it up and doesn't seem to be part of it.

Safetyhit

07-28-13, 22:14

I thought they might have come from the Navarone Mountain playset but I just looked it up and doesn't seem to be part of it.

No, that's it. I remember stone walls and a cave of some sort, which is what spawned the castle reference. Was definitely a gray mountain with American and German soldiers.

Ed L.

07-28-13, 22:23

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y145/SteyrAUG/0000000003_zps3208aace.jpg

Those are made by Marx Toys. They came in a variety of packages. Here is a link to one WWII Battleground:

http://www.ebay.com/itm/WWII-Battleground-Action-Play-Set-Vintage-Marx-Toy-/370860508831

SteyrAUG

07-28-13, 22:31

Those are made by Marx Toys. They came in a variety of packages. Here is a link to one WWII Battleground:

http://www.ebay.com/itm/WWII-Battleground-Action-Play-Set-Vintage-Marx-Toy-/370860508831

Another mystery solved. I had that set plus many others including Navarone Mountain, etc.

Safetyhit

07-28-13, 22:35

Apparently there were different variants, but it was indeed Navarone Mountain. You can see the silver artillery at the bottom facing. Never forget putting the wounded guys on the stretcher or the dead germans, seeing all the components again after so many years is fantastic.

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b32/Safetyhit/Navarone.jpg (http://s16.photobucket.com/user/Safetyhit/media/Navarone.jpg.html)

Looking at these makes it as though 1975 was only last week. Unbelievable.

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b32/Safetyhit/Navarone2.jpg (http://s16.photobucket.com/user/Safetyhit/media/Navarone2.jpg.html)

Other images: http://www.google.com/search?q=navarone+mountain+playset&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ei=I-H1UZq3FYHj4AOnqoH4AQ&sqi=2&ved=0CCoQsAQ&biw=1280&bih=868#facrc=_&imgdii=_&imgrc=RCGZLDQmHo32pM%3A%3BXTOOg_u5pwKOCM%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fi785.photobucket.com%252Falbums%252Fyy140%252Fpacwarbuff%252FNavarone.jpg%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fwww.filmscoremonthly.com%252Fboard%252Fposts.cfm%253FthreadID%253D85129%2526forumID%253D1%2526archive%253D0%2526viewLast%253D1%3B641%3B717

SeriousStudent

07-28-13, 22:58

If I look closely, I can see the two teeny copper wires on the shell hoist, that will set the whole thing off.

Pork Chop

07-28-13, 23:06

SteyrAUG

07-28-13, 23:07

SteyrAUG

07-28-13, 23:11

I had entire Divisions of those guys. Brave little warriors. :)

My son must have a 5 gal bucket full he still dumps on the living room floor and the battles sometimes rage for hours.

As for mine, I never shot them with BB guns, but fireworks took a serious toll and casualties were in the thousands.

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My God I had forgotten about the black cats. Those were artillery. We had to stand behind our lines and throw them. Hard to aim when you have to light it and get rid of it.

We actually had a pretty developed rules of warfare for 12 year olds.

We briefly experimented with bottle rockets but when one flew in the open garage door while my Dad was in there working on something that was the end of the "bottle rocket" advanced weapons program.

SteyrAUG

07-28-13, 23:14

If I look closely, I can see the two teeny copper wires on the shell hoist, that will set the whole thing off.

Wonder how many will get that.

It's a damn shame we don't all live in the same neighborhood. We could have regular screenings of the classics.

currahee

07-28-13, 23:15

Pork Chop

07-28-13, 23:23

My God I had forgotten about the black cats. Those were artillery. We had to stand behind our lines and throw them. Hard to aim when you have to light it and get rid of it.

We actually had a pretty developed rules of warfare for 12 year olds.

We briefly experimented with bottle rockets but when one flew in the open garage door while my Dad was in there working on something that was the end of the "bottle rocket" advanced weapons program.

Lol, that's good stuff.

We used smoking capsticks. Remember those? We had a toy tank with a pretty heavy, hollow barrel and if you dropped them in smoking end first they'd launch with sufficient velocity to take out entire companies of plastic enemy warriors.

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SteyrAUG

07-28-13, 23:24

Pork Chop

07-28-13, 23:25

Gratuitous pic of my boy a couple of years ago when we stayed home sick together, watched "The Green Berets" and acted out the last scene

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v453/currahee/familyetc/1012sickday.jpg

That's awesome!

Those are the moments that make being a Dad truly great.

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SteyrAUG

07-28-13, 23:29

Lol, that's good stuff.

We used smoking capsticks. Remember those? We had a toy tank with a pretty heavy, hollow barrel and if you dropped them in smoking end first they'd launch with sufficient velocity to take out entire companies of plastic enemy warriors.

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That's a new one on me. Blackcats and BB guns were the main weapon. We got away with it because my Dad figured it taught us how to aim and hit something and we were being safe about it. You had to step OFF the field (my front yard) when the opposing force took their shot so you weren't downrange.

I always remember it would get down to finding the last 12 guys who were blending in pretty well and trying to find them so you had something to shoot at.

We could pretty easily blow half a day playing army men back then.

Pork Chop

07-28-13, 23:33

That's a new one on me. Blackcats and BB guns were the main weapon. We got away with it because my Dad figured it taught us how to aim and hit something and we were being safe about it. You had to step OFF the field (my front yard) when the opposing force took their shot so you weren't downrange.

I always remember it would get down to finding the last 12 guys who were blending in pretty well and trying to find them so you had something to shoot at.

We could pretty easily blow half a day playing army men back then.

Ah, yes, good memories. What I wouldn't give some days to be 12 again. Just for a few hours.

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Ed L.

07-28-13, 23:43

I had a bunch of toys like this. Not the Navarone mountain. I had these playsets called carry-all action sets. They were painted metal carrying cases that unfolded into playsets. They had one version with knights, one version with army men, one version with a log fort from the American West.

I also had some more expensive ones that came painted: knights, Indians, soldiers, French Foreign Legionaires. They were made by a company called Britains in Britain.

I could swear that I have some of them packed away somewhere.

I think these guys that Steyr AUG pictured below were sold in heavy duty plastic bags in lots of 100.

http://i.ebayimg.com/t/All-14-poses-Processed-Plastic-TimMee-Vietnam-era-Green-Army-Men-Toy-soldiers-/00/s/ODg1WDEyOTY=/$%28KGrHqUOKikE6e!709-7BOryfRfUP!~~60_1.JPG

Peshawar

07-29-13, 01:59

As for mine, I never shot them with BB guns, but fireworks took a serious toll and casualties were in the thousands.

Same here. Steyr, get a good camera capable of slow motion and a ton of fireworks. Make some napalm, and give those souls a demise worthy of a warrior. Then edit it and post it here. :D

Moose-Knuckle

07-29-13, 02:23

Gratuitous pic of my boy a couple of years ago when we stayed home sick together, watched "The Green Berets" and acted out the last scene

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v453/currahee/familyetc/1012sickday.jpg

I still have a box full of all my "green army men" from my play days in in the 80's and they are mixed in with my old Lincoln Logs! They went hand in hand. :cool:

SteyrAUG

07-29-13, 13:50

I think these guys that Steyr AUG pictured below were sold in heavy duty plastic bags in lots of 100.

http://i.ebayimg.com/t/All-14-poses-Processed-Plastic-TimMee-Vietnam-era-Green-Army-Men-Toy-soldiers-/00/s/ODg1WDEyOTY=/$%28KGrHqUOKikE6e!709-7BOryfRfUP!~~60_1.JPG

Yep, I bought most of them at Kresge's (sort of a small proto K-Mart) in Marshalltown, Iowa while spending summers with my grandparents. We'd walk uptown every weekned and I'd buy a bag of 100. By the end of the summer I had about 1,000 man army.

You had to buy the bigger box sets to get trucks, helo's, tanks and such.

I remember abandoning clothes so that I could fit all my army men in my suitcase to come home after the summer.

Grand58742

07-29-13, 16:06

I recall them coming in 50 packs as well. You could get the green or the gray in those colors. Now, if memory serves, the gray ones I had were based on the Japanese and the green ones were US except for that one that had the Bren LMG. I'm dating myself, but remember they were around $1.50 at the TG&Y store.

I never had the plastic mountain as I was getting into the far more expensive GI Joe at the time, but did have the cardboard cutout one. Can't even find the one I had, but if I recall it came from Sears...well, actually Santa brought it down the chimney at that age and remember seeing it in the Christmas catalog.

SteyrAUG

07-29-13, 16:30

Cincinnatus

07-29-13, 16:31

My eight year old son and five year old daughter and I play together with green armymen.
They are still sold, even today, though not by the original manufacturer.
Taking a note from Steyr, today, my son and daughter and I are going to adopt the BBgun wargame with two opposing armies, only using thekids' dartguns in lieu of BB guns--we don't want to permanently destroy our army theway BBs would.;)

Army Chief

07-29-13, 16:33

So now instead wondering what you should do with them, you'll be laying in bed wondering what the f*ck you did do with them. :D

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Dear Mr. Ryno,

While I admire your creativity, let me assure you that I too came up with no fewer than two dozen perfectly viable alternate spellings of the f-bomb, including a few especially creative ones using various "ph" and "que" combinations, umlauts and a host of alternate/substitute characters. After all, I can be a fairly bright guy when I need to be, and after 30 years in uniform, I have the requisite skills to easily qualify for an honorary Ph.D in Multi-Linguistic Profanity.

In the end, the decision was made to filter the forum only for the actual word, spelled correctly, rather than to play a series of games with those who might seek to resort to innovative work-arounds. Having just become the point man for "those," I would respectfully request that you, and your clever fellow filter-evaders abide by the spirit of the filter, rather than to find ways to work around it.

**** you very much,
AC ;)

Jellybean

07-29-13, 17:13

Dear Mr. Ryno,

While I admire your creativity, let me assure you that I too came up with no fewer than two dozen perfectly viable alternate spellings of the f-bomb, including a few especially creative ones using various "ph" and "que" combinations, umlauts and a host of alternate/substitute characters. After all, I can be a fairly bright guy when I need to be, and after 30 years in uniform, I have the requisite skills to easily qualify for an honorary Ph.D in Multi-Linguistic Profanity.

In the end, the decision was made to filter the forum only for the actual word, spelled correctly, rather than to play a series of games with those who might seek to resort to innovative work-arounds. Having just become the point man for "those," I would respectfully request that you, and your clever fellow filter-evaders abide by the spirit of the filter, rather than to find ways to work around it.

**** you very much,
AC ;)

What is this heresy? No more f-bombs? Well, ****. :cray:

On topic, once upon a time at a house I lived at I dug up an entire army of army men, complete with tanks and jeeps in some woods nearby. I was overjoyed.
And then my nazi parents made me give them to the kid next door because they were "bad".
I mean, there was like a couple walmart bags full of stuff, and this is back when walmart still had normal sized bags....
I was so pissed. :mad::cray:

MountainRaven

07-29-13, 17:15

I remember having tan and green army guys. Both sides were identical, except for the color.

I think they came with one tan and one green vehicle, but cannot for the life of me remember what they were....

Of course, I don't know what ever happened to them. I'd guess they found their way to a trash bin or a garage sale bin at some point.

Army Chief

07-29-13, 17:24

Although I had the normal (green) toy plastic GIs like every other kid of my day, what I really got into a few years later were the much smaller 1:72 scale plastic miniatures that were offered by companies like Airfix. You could get a seemingly infinite variety of units and formations, and although I didn't collect the associated vehicles and tanks, I always thought they were beyond cool.

Granted, I never bothered to paint these guys, nor did I create any specific battle dioramas with them, since they were really just playthings to me; that said, the awesome gray German guys were really, really adept at taking out my HO-gauge trains. Granted, I did have a fairly decent train table, and until this thread, had almost forgotten about the hours and hours that I contentedly idled away there. The modern X-Box has nothing to offer on the level of a nice company-level assault on an unsuspecting rail supply depot on an old train table. ;)

AC

Ryno12

07-29-13, 17:25

Dear Mr. Ryno,...

**** you very much,
AC ;)

Sorry Bud. Believe it or not, I wasn't thinking about "the filter" at the time of the post & was legitimately trying to censor myself while getting my lame attempt of humor across.
Not sure if you've read much of my literary content but it's not known to contain a copious amount of f-bombs.
Anyway, just so we're straight, and for full filtration pleasure, you'd just rather I spelled it out completely. Correct?

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Army Chief

07-29-13, 17:30

Sorry Bud. Believe it or not, I wasn't thinking about "the filter" at the time of the post & was legitimately trying to censor myself while getting my lame attempt of humor across.
Not sure if you've read much of my literary content but it's not known to contain a copious amount of f-bombs.
Anyway, just so we're straight, and for full filtration pleasure, you'd just rather I spelled it out completely. Correct?

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You know it, baby. Fire For Effect, and just let the system do it's job. ;)

No harm, no foul. Just making sure we don't wind up with a raft of copycat crimes.

AC

montanadave

07-29-13, 17:34

You know it, baby. Fire For Effect, and just let the system do it's job. ;)

No harm, no foul. Just making sure we don't wind up with a raft of copycat crimes.

AC

Well I say "**** the ****in' ****ers!"

Let freedom ring!

ETA: Geez, damn thing works pretty good. :D

SteyrAUG

07-29-13, 18:00

Well I say "**** the ****in' ****ers!"

Let freedom ring!

ETA: Geez, damn thing works pretty good. :D

http://wikitravel.org/upload/en/f/fe/Phuket_map.png

SteyrAUG

07-29-13, 18:05

Back on topic, my collection of vehicles and artey shipped out today to a deserving individual I was made aware of who will add them to his existing similar collection.

May he get many years of enjoyment and one day pass them on to his kids or some other suitable individual.

As for now, all is right with the world. Or at least as concerns this issue.

Army Chief

07-29-13, 18:06

Kurt,

You are a very bad man.

Chuck

SteyrAUG

07-29-13, 18:13

Kurt,

You are a very bad man.

Chuck

You don't like Thailand?!?

:D

Army Chief

07-29-13, 18:15

Don't Bangmykok.

AC

Safetyhit

07-29-13, 18:40

Magic_Salad0892

07-29-13, 18:42

We can't say "****" anymore?

Army Chief

07-29-13, 18:45

We can't say "****" anymore?

You may. We, however, will no longer be reading it as such on our screens.

Fresh sheets. Clean glasses. This is a classy joint, and we aim to keep it that way. ;)

AC

Ryno12

07-29-13, 18:45

We can't say "****" anymore?

Yes, you can. You just can't spell it wrong. ;)

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Safetyhit

07-29-13, 18:47

We can't say "****" anymore?

That has got to be just ****ing horrible for you in particular. :D

Magic_Salad0892

07-29-13, 19:04

That has got to be just ****ing horrible for you in particular. :D

Lol. There are a few members here who will hate it. :cray:

Ed L.

07-29-13, 20:03

This is a great thread.

Getting it back on track about childhood toys:

I dug up some old pictures of my toys back from the 1960s when I had them.

Among other things There are two carryall action sets--one is a castle one is an army base; also a fort made of blocks and Lincoln logs, a Battleship . . .

http://i102.photobucket.com/albums/m115/edagain/toys2_zps289da12a.jpg

Another view of the same mess of toys. There is some other castle on top of the block fort:

http://i102.photobucket.com/albums/m115/edagain/toys1_zps1486bb53.jpg

And if you look at the photo below you can tell that I was destined to wind up on this forum:

http://i102.photobucket.com/albums/m115/edagain/toys3_zpse26da485.jpg

Safetyhit

07-29-13, 20:15

I dug up some old pictures of my toys back from the 1960s when I had them.

Among other things There are two carryall action sets--one is a castle one is an army base; also a fort made of blocks and Lincoln logs, a Battleship . . .

http://i102.photobucket.com/albums/m115/edagain/toys2_zps289da12a.jpg

So you "dug up" some "old pictures" did you? :rolleyes:

Your vivid descriptions clarify that your current bedroom looks much like mine, which looks like your picture. You can't con me pal.

sandman99and9

07-29-13, 20:41

I had very realistic looking toy M-16, M1 Garand , and a Tommy gun when I was about 7 or 8 years old. I can't count how many toy handguns I had back then.

Ahhh, the good old days :)

S.M.

SteyrAUG

07-29-13, 21:00

I miss my...

Rock Em Sock Em Robots
Prehistoric Scenes model kits (especially the T Rex)
Mattel Flying Aces Attack Carrier
Six Million Dollar Man Action Figure (complete with backpack radio)
Evil Knievel Stunt Cycle
G&S Skateboard (OJ wheels and California Slalom trucks)

and I miss making tennis ball canons.

One year my father had a load of sand delivered to fill in the yard because I probably made holes and dents in it somehow. Anyway when he was done there was a pile of unused sand approx. two feet high and five feet across. My best friend and I promptly dug out the center and created a fox hole.

We then built a tennis ball canon with three soda cans (steel with straight sides and pull ring tabs and no taper at the top or bottom), duct tape and lighter fluid. You used a can opener to remove the top and bottom of two cans and duct taped them together and that was the barrel. You then duct taped that to the intact third can which had a nail hole (touch hole) on the side about a half inch from the bottom.

You then shot a liberal amount of lighter fluid into the touch hole and whipped it around a half dozen times to vaporize the lighter fluid. Drop a tennis ball into the top of the barrel and light the touch hole with your lighter and the expanding gasses are primarily directed through to the pull tab opening of the bottom can and the tennis ball is launched about 50-75 yards straight up with a satisfying "thoomp."

For added fun and risk, squirting the tennis ball with lighter fluid will produce a flaming tennis ball which is especially satisfying at night.

Anyway, we now have two 12 year olds on summer vacation who have dug a fox hole in the front yard and have a tennis ball canon, lighter fluid, a lighter and at least 50 tennis balls.

Our objective is a house around the corner two doors down and two doors to the right of our location. Our position is barely visible from their front door by line of sight as we have quite a bit of landscaping in front of us.

We create a rest in the rim of our fighting position so that trajectories with be more or less constant and repeatable. It takes about 6-8 shots to find our zero which results in a tennis ball traveling at a respectable distance and velocity finding the front door of the house. The owner opens the door, wonders what the half dozen tennis balls are all about, looks around and closes the door.

We immediately reload the weapon. We have a system where we take turns and one guy primes the combustion chamber, stands up to vaporize the propellent, drops in a tennis ball and places the weapon in the aiming gap we created in the sand wall. The person standing by visually confirms proper orientation and lights the touch hole. We get a "thoomp" and a tennis ball sails through the air and bounces off the front door.

The homeowner answers the door, this time he comes out and looks in the bushes for smart ass kids, walks around his front yard, looks up and down the side of his house, looks across the street and then goes back inside.

The moment the door closes we begin the reloading sequence and in less than a minute another tennis ball is inbound to the target. This time the front door flies open as the owners was standing ready with a "gotcha." He quickly runs outside, runs to each side of the house and wonders how the hell these smart ass kids are running so fast that he can't even see them seconds after they throw a tennis ball at his door.

We are at the bottom of our fox hole trying not to piss ourselves from laughing and trying not to laugh out loud so we don't give our position away. We begin to prepare to fire another shot when the front door of the house suddenly flies open again as the homeowner jumps the gun believing he will get the drop on those smart ass kids.

When we stop laughing long enough to actually breath we immediately resume the loading and firing sequence and another tennis ball finds it's mark on the front door. This time the owner comes running up the side of the house having gone out the back or side door and put himself in a position to catch "those damn kids."

We come close to death from not being able to breath as he paces his front yard and once again checks his bushes for kids. As soon as he walks down the far side of his house to investigate that area we load and fire another tennis ball. As soon as it bounces off the door he is in the front yard and now he is trying the tactic of "yelling at us" as if he actually see's us. Taunts of "Ok, get out of there...I see you" almost result in urination on our part.

He spends a good five minutes searching his yard, looking up and down the street and attempting variety of bluffs and ploys to smoke us out. He goes back in the front door and within 20 seconds flings it back open and quickly searches his property again.

He goes back inside and we observe him looking out the front window. We hold our fire. Minutes pass. Finally we see the curtains close and we immediately load and launch another tennis ball against the front door. The door flies open and declarations of "I see you" and "I know you're in there" resume as the owner searches the same bushes he has searched several times now.

This continues for what was probably an hour and a half and the discharging of perhaps 45 tennis balls. It then occurs to us that we cannot leave our fox hole without risk of being observed by the guy around the corner. So we stick it out until dusk and when a car passes us in the direction of the target house we take advantage of the cover and move from our fox hole to some dense landscaping that permits us to enter my garage unseen.

Later that night, we conducted an operation to recover tennis balls and we successfully retrieved almost half of them, a few initially had overshot the target as we figured out our zero, others were just hard to find as they bounced everywhere. Not to mention they were the same color as the grass and bushes and it was at night.

We had plans to resume the fire mission the next day but for whatever reason we never did. I'm sure the homeowner was thankful we found something more entertaining to do.

SeriousStudent

07-29-13, 21:22

It was you!! You were the ones shooting those tennis balls at my front door!!

:mad:

I should have known......

Pork Chop

07-29-13, 21:38

Steyr, I thoroughly enjoyed that. You're really creating a mental time capsule for me as I resurrect childhood memories. How I miss impromptu playground football games and preparing foxholes.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk 2

Grand58742

07-29-13, 23:07

and I miss making tennis ball canons.

Wonder how many DHS Agents would show up at your house these days?

SteyrAUG

07-29-13, 23:20

Wonder how many DHS Agents would show up at your house these days?

It is at once sad, amazing and appalling that so many of my childhood activities would now be considered actual crimes. Perhaps it's for the best that I don't have kids.

I don't think I could resist telling stories and showing them how to do things any more than my father could. And it would kill me if they got into "real trouble" as a result.

Army Chief

07-29-13, 23:29

Good point. I've participated in some pretty nefarious deeds with those surgical-tubing water balloon launchers myself.

But man, was I ever accurate. ;)

AC

Grand58742

07-29-13, 23:37

Good point. I've participated in some pretty nefarious deeds with those surgical-tubing water balloon launchers myself.

But man, was I ever accurate. ;)

AC

It starts getting entertaining when you add oranges and apples to the mix.

Don't ask me how I know...

Army Chief

07-29-13, 23:43

It starts getting entertaining when you add oranges and apples to the mix.

Don't ask me how I know...

Always a pleasure to make the acquaintance of a fellow misdemeanoring juicer. :cool:

AC

SeriousStudent

07-29-13, 23:46

Good point. I've participated in some pretty nefarious deeds with those surgical-tubing water balloon launchers myself.

But man, was I ever accurate. ;)

AC

It's hypothetically possible to use a roll of surgical tubing appropriated from a BAS to rig a slingshot. You might use a pair of bunk beds as anchors, by shoving them against a porthole on the second deck of a Marine barracks. You would need two buildings close together, with open portholes.

At that point, it could be possible to use a pair of carabiners to drop the tubing to a Marine innocently walking by with a small shopping bag from the PX. He might attach the tubing with the carabiners, insert a water balloon from the bag, and then run like the entire North Korean Army was chasing him, releasing the ballon over his shoulder. He'd probably want a chalk mark on the sidewalk, so he'd have a good release point. Then the tubing could be pulled up, and the portholes closed.

Theoretically, the aforementioned water balloon might, and I say might, travel a fair distance. Perhaps even as far as as the parking lot where a different rifle company was holding an awards ceremony, for someone you did not like.

But that would require split-second timing, an understanding of terrain, and the ability to gauge wind and distances. You'd also need to make sure the gate guards nearby were distracted.

So I doubt it would ever happen. Nah, way too much could go wrong......

Army Chief

07-29-13, 23:56

There sure is a lot of hypothetical supposition in that missive.

I've got to go to bed. I simply cannot handle this much gut-wrenching laughter in one night. :D :D :D

AC

SteyrAUG

07-30-13, 01:15

Slingshots, water balloons, oranges?!?

By middle school I was discovering the magical properties of carbide and toilet water.

:D

Grand58742

07-30-13, 03:53

Slingshots, water balloons, oranges?!?

By middle school I was discovering the magical properties of carbide and toilet water.

:D

Aluminum foil and Draino

Pool chlorine and brake fluid

I probably don't need to go further lol

rocsteady

07-30-13, 05:22

Geez, I thought I was cool discovering the PVC potato gun; and I was getting ready for high school. Why didn't I have neighbors like you guys?

As an aside, high velocity starches will tend to penetrate large, and evidently not embassy-grade, living room windows. Or so I've heard...

Edit: Any further details or information on misc. potato gun "incidents" from the South Jersey area, circa the early 80's, is G14 classified.

Army Chief

07-30-13, 08:08

I see a whole raft of cold case files all over the country being reopened if this confessional continues any further. Then again, what could the statute of limitations possibly be on these kinds of improvised ordnance violations? ;)

AC

Safetyhit

07-30-13, 08:38

Edit: Any further details or information on misc. potato gun "incidents" from the South Jersey area, circa the early 80's, is G14 classified.

Who the hell told you about that? And we, I mean they didn't always use potatoes.

Here in South/Central Jersey we had a 200 acre farm and until the mid-70s also had our own massive fireworks displays. My uncle Julius (the one with the gun room) would order and arrange everything, from large bottle rockets to high explosives.

Reason I bring this up is because one fine day back in the 80's you know who was up in the old barn and what do I come across but a large wooden crate filled with paper-tubed "things". Wonderful, fantastic things to a young teen. When I fully realized the components I may as well have found a treasure chest I was so delighted.

I'll leave it at that and assure everyone I'm beyond lucky to have all my extremities.

rocsteady

07-30-13, 08:42

Admit nothing, deny all

Army Chief

07-30-13, 08:49

... and initiate counter-accusations immediately.

AC

jaxman7

07-30-13, 09:27

Safetyhit

07-30-13, 09:43

How about my best friends neighbor teaching 2 15 year old kids how to make bombs w/gun powder, old medical pill bottles, & duct tape. Plus fuses from powder and electrical tape. Yeah that went over well. Not going any further as....well let's just say the fire marshall was involved after THE incident.

No humans or animals were hurt in the making of said bombs. Although after discovering sparkler bombs I am surprised I still have both eyes in perfect working order. It went off so close to me that I had shards of black electrical tape ALL over me. :)

-Jax

You're prodding me Dave...

Rings such a familiar bell. When I first found the afore mentioned very big box I initially thought it was full of giant bottle rockets and large pinwheels. Only after I blew myself litteraly off the ground (rupturing all the small blood vessels in the right side of my head and filling my sinuses with blood) did I return from the getting stitches and x-rays at the hospital to promptly harvest the rest of the large items filled with about 3/4 worth a stick of the bright silver firecracker powder.

Once I knew what was what in the box and got new fuses it was mostly error free from there. ;)

jaxman7

07-30-13, 09:50

Once I knew what was what in the box and got new fuses it was mostly error free from there. ;)

Yep. Once you go to the emergency room, have the fire dept. check out your handy work, or almost lose an eye, things tend to run much much smoother afterwards. :p

-Jax

MistWolf

07-30-13, 12:24

My brothers and I had a huge pile of those Army Men. The bayonet guys were about worthless though and were always the first to die. Dad & I would spend hours building a huge fortress with building blocks, setting up the Army Men and blasting them with rubber bands. The best part was knocking away at critical supports to bring machinegun towers and walls crashing down on our hapless victims.

We didn't often use BB guns around the house as we lived in the suburbs and Dad was very strict about gun safety. The few times we did, I made sure there was nothing for Dad to find. BB dents in our little Army Men would have roused such wrath it we would be grounded from touching any firearm for a year.

Camping trips were another story. We'd spend hours building what we called "Japanese Bunker" made from from tin cans, rocks, sticks, empty ammo boxes and anything else we could find. Then we'd shoot them up and not with lowly old BB guns. We'd use everything from 22 rimfires all the way up to and including Grandpa's 300 Weatherby, Uncle's 458 American a variety of 45-70s and every caliber in between. I spent long hours in the garage reloading as much 6mm ammo as I could afford just for those monthly- and sometimes weekly- trips.

Back home, we had a grapefruit tree and I took it into my head to make a sling large enough to launch them with. I got good enough to send those grapefruits six houses down to land them on the aluminum roof of the neighbor's porch or in their swimming pool.

I didn't mess with fireworks much. What little I did taught me they were unpredictable and dangerous, so I stuck to reloading. But that didn't keep me from dipping into the can of Dad's reject gun powder now and again. Once, I ditched school with a couple of friends and made a gunpowder volcano. Once I lit the trail of powder, I found myself alone. My friends thought there was gonna be an explosion and took off running.

Then there was the time we piled a bunch of firecrackers in the middle of the street, poured a couple of pounds of gunpowder over them and lit it off. The best one, however, was when a friend of mine came to me with a copy of the Army Manual on IEDs and turned to the page with a recipe where magnesium was the primary ingredient...

jaxman7

07-30-13, 12:41

BATFE...remember-this is the internet. Nothing is true. Its all just entertainment.

-Jax

Grand58742

07-30-13, 13:45

... and initiate counter-accusations immediately.

AC

SteyrAUG did it! And he broke out the bay window while he was at it!

jaxman7

07-30-13, 13:49

SteyrAUG did it! And he broke out the bay window while he was at it!

And there goes more memories. Breaking out the highschool principal's window, twice with beer bottles. I was a stupid teenager.

-Jax

Ed L.

08-05-13, 22:38

I thought of this thread when I saw this news item. Apparently a beauty pagent winner and some friends made some homemade fireworks or explosives (as in things that go bang) and were driving around in a car and throwing them around. This led to their arrests.

"Arson investigators looked at the scene of one such incident and found four plastic water bottles with pieces of aluminum foil and a chemical substance that was detonated on roads near a home."

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2013/08/05/utah-beauty-pageant-winner-3-others-arrested-on-suspicion-throwing-bombs/?test=latestnews

Safetyhit

11-25-13, 15:57

While this photo was taken well over a month ago they continue to come in handy Steyr. As you can see your old friends are making new friends but everyone goes back where they started when we clean up so we know what's what. He had a real big set up I meant to take a picture of but got sidetracked and it was half dismantled before I remembered, maybe next time since he builds these scenarios every few days or so.

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b32/Safetyhit/Phone1013034.jpg (http://s16.photobucket.com/user/Safetyhit/media/Phone1013034.jpg.html)

sandman99and9

11-25-13, 18:50

When I was about 8 my brother taught me how to glue model rocket motors to my model cars and launch them down the road. I put one through my grandmothers screened in porch ( 2 houses down ) *allegedly*

S.M.

Semper Paratus

11-25-13, 20:12

Steyr-
We use the Army men to keep gremlins under control in our steam plants. Some years ago we had some management weenie launch an effective pogrom on the army men. As was expected when the balance of nature was disturbed the gremlins multiplied like feral hogs....'bout took the plant over causing all manner of mechanical discombobulation. When we finally got the army men...particularly the snipers back in the plant the gremlins came into check. Now I'm not a superstitious guy but army men keep the gremlin population under control and let complex mechanical things work like the are supposed to.