Last night my dog saved my life... a story of friendship.

[Eurodriver]

Rarely in life does something utterly horrifying lead to a beautiful conclusion.

Last night I was fortunate enough to experience this. While kicking it with my boys (friends, not sons) downtown, I got a little intoxicated. $3 2-for-1 fireball shots with a group of chicks that just got out of some pop band concert started taking their toll real quick.

This chick was really feeling me and her dorm room was pretty close to where we were at. I didn't think my girlfriend would appreciate that very much so I did the honorable thing and got a ride home. Easy 21 year old college girls aren't going anywhere. I regretted this decision later.

As I walked in the door I stumbled my drunk ass in the shower and just as I got nice and lathered up I noticed the most vile creature I've ever seen - a frog. A little something about me I HATE FROGS. In fact, I was about ready to pack my bags and move into a hotel room for the night. Add to that I was now staring one down WHILE NAKED and covered in Irish Spring soap. It started hopping around frantically trying to get away from me and my first thought was "There is no way that thing is going to crawl on me tonight."

I jumped out of the shower soaking wet, barely able to stand on the tile floors due to whiskey, Coronas, and soapy water, and grabbed the first thing I could find to shoo it out of the house a flip flop. My intent at this point was not to harm it, just to get it to leave out the back door. The frog however had other plans. It kept hopping and leaping from dark crevices on to blinds and walls. I was chasing it all over the room falling flat on my face and felt for certain I was going to slip, bust my face on a sharp corner and bleed out. I needed more serious weaponry and for half a second I considered grabbing the nightstand Glock to dispatch the creature. I wanted it gone that bad. I finally found and grabbed one of my boots - much larger than the flip flop. The gloves were off. I was going to smash this puppy into frog guts.

Just as I turned around to confront the beast with my new weapon, reinforcements arrived. My 100lb Great Dane - in full sprint from across the house and suddenly sliding across the floor - pinned the frog against the door jam, ATE THE FROG, licked her lips...and casually walked out of the room. Maybe it was the alcohol. But I fell over on to my back and started laughing hysterically and then started to cry a little bit. I snapped the following picture and got into bed without drying (or even rinsing) off and fell asleep.

My best friend and my loyal companion saved me from a night of sheer terror and potential grave head injuries, and for that I owe her dearly.

http://i42.tinypic.com/10fyt6x.jpg

[JSantoro]

Ahh, the dog's female....explains the look of silent, disappointed judgement on that face.

:D

[Ryno12]

Great story man! Glad to hear you made it through unscathed.

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[MountainRaven]

Ahh, the dog's female....explains the look of silent, disappointed judgement on that face.

:D

Never send a man to do a bitch's job?

;)

[cinco]

Thanks that made my Friday the 13th morning - ha ha ha.

And how do I know you didn't make this up? The boot and flip flop, with a dresser shoved out of the way, behind your savior :p

[FromMyColdDeadHand]

Cover in green Irish Spring soap? That frog was just waiting for your drunk ass to drop the soap...

[6933]

Ahh, the dog's female....explains the look of silent, disappointed judgement on that face.

:D

It was a cold shower. Cue George Costanza.

[C4IGrant]

Ahh, the dog's female....explains the look of silent, disappointed judgement on that face.

:D

LOL, seen that look before haven't ya. ;)



C4

[Crow Hunter]

Funny story.

I find it interesting that you dislike frogs so strongly.

Didn't you catch and play with frogs as a young child?

We used to "raid" the well house to catch toads to play with. Myself or my brother would raise the lid and shake while the other one would run around and catch all the toads and put them in a bucket and then we would retire to the sand pile to play with them.

Heck, as a matter of fact my wife and I chased one around the patio last night because he was a big one and we wanted to see if he was a "squeeker".

What on earth did you do for entertainment growing up?

:D

[Eurodriver]

Funny story.

I find it interesting that you dislike frogs so strongly.

Didn't you catch and play with frogs as a young child?
...
What on earth did you do for entertainment growing up?

:D

No. I didn't.

In Hawaii my house had a gecko and all the local bruddahs told me that they ate bugs and they were good to have around the house.

I shot that mother***er one day with a pellet rifle. It was just TOO freaky.

Interestingly I did catch lizards a lot growing up. Reptiles don't bother me. Amphibians are a whole nother story though.


Ahh, the dog's female....explains the look of silent, disappointed judgement on that face.

:D

I see you on the GAL. Keep testing me and I'll send you politically incorrect emails :D

[Gutshot John]

I imagined something like this...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TAl6LU38u8M

:D

[SteyrAUG]

Just be careful down here in FL. It sounds like you did indeed have a frog, but we also have toads and they are toxic to dogs.

[Pork Chop]

Great story and no judgement here. My wife and I both have our own "you should die just because you exist" critters. She is deathly afraid of June bugs and I HAAAAATE opossums. I mean HAAAAATE em like kids hate liver.

We're all wierd in our own ways. :)

[montanadave]

Given your aversion to our amphibian friends, I thought you might enjoy this NASA photo of an unfortunate frog experiencing a simultaneous lift-off during last week's rocket launch in Virginia. (http://www.slate.com/blogs/the_slatest/2013/09/12/nasa_frog_photobomb_image_nasa_cameras_catch_flying_frog_during_ladee_launch.html?wpisrc=most_viral)

http://img821.imageshack.us/img821/7052/dix7.jpg

[Safetyhit]

Sheer terror followed by laughter, tears and a trip to bed covered in soap. All because of a small frog.

One of the most unusual stories to ever come our way.

[Denali]

Hmm, interesting encounter, I'm positive you'd not like it up here in the Chippewa valley, five rivers run through it, two of them across the road from my compound. On warm to hot and muggy evenings/nights my buildings are pasted with both tree frogs, and tree toads! Just the other day I had one exit the toilet I was preparing to visit, it literally jumped up, and out of the bowl....

[Brimstone]

This chick was really feeling me and her dorm room was pretty close to where we were at. I didn't think my girlfriend would appreciate that very much so I did the honorable thing and got a ride home.


This is where you lost me.

[Whiskey_Bravo]

Ahh, the dog's female....explains the look of silent, disappointed judgement on that face.

:D



lol, so true.

[Moose-Knuckle]

I'm sorry, but I didn't get past easy 21 year old college girls . . .

[jpmuscle]

haha this is hilarious

[CodeRed30]

This is where you lost me.

Agreed.

[GeorgiaBoy]

This thread reminded me of this. :D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QeQZJv7kIYM

[SeriousStudent]

I agree with your dog. Frogs are good eatin'.

[theblackknight]

Ahh, the dog's female....explains the look of silent, disappointed judgement on that face.

:D

Dude, my wife just asked waht I'm laughing at :sarcastic:

[JSantoro]

Keep testing me and I'll send you politically incorrect emails :D

I could use some....

I think that look is a component of the chromosome that decides the female gender in mammals.

[Aries144]

That's great man! Hilarious!

The Frog Launch only acted as an accelerant.