View Full Version : 15 Completely Irrelevant Things People Claim Make You A Man
Phillygunguy
11-04-13, 09:35
I just put this article here for Sh*ts and giggles
I don't know who this Aaron Goldfarb is or what this "guy code " is all about nor do I care, But its another example of a man trying to emasculate men which I see is going to be another trend in this country that started with metrosexualism # 12 is totally ridiculous.
http://guycodeblog.mtv.com/2013/06/21/irrelevant-to-manhood/?utm_source=zergnet.com&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=zergnet_70409
1. Know how to drive stick shift. It won't make you look badass in that hybrid, anyway.
Yes the ability to drive a stick as a man is a must... same goes for working on your car
2. Get a boner when a hot sports car drives by. The guy driving it can't get one at all.
Boner?!?! maybe if your into that kinda thing... but gawk, yes. I've been a hotrod junky since i was a kid
3. Do your own home repairs. That's what landlords and children are for.
for most things yeas... there are some things it's better to just call a pro for though
4. Never cry. Perfectly acceptable when your favorite team loses or your favorite dog dies.
This is limited to FEW things like the loss of close friend, relative, pet... or tears of joy for large accomplishments of your children are ok as well. if you cry because you can't something to wear, shred your mancard
5. Be afraid to cook. You calling Gordon Ramsay a lady?
grilling and smoking is cooking for men
6. Drink scotch neat. Bourbon with a little ice is so much better.
same for black coffee i'd assume which ill admit i can do none of these... scotch or bourbon i just can't do. but on the other had i can do good tequila and a few others i cant think of right now
7. Smoke cigarettes. What's manly about hacking up a lung and repulsing women?
disgusting habit for man or woman...
8. Not care about fitness. Yeah, enjoy that cheeseburger, but hit the damn gym after.
i dont work out to look like a bodybuilder... i work out for physical health and to still be able to eat what i want and be able to stay active
9. Give up your seat for a lady. Unless she's your grandmother's age, or your actual grandmother. Otherwise, you'll just make a chick feel like a bad feminist for sitting.
Always give up your seat for a lady.... lady being the key word. some women deserve to stand. its all about attitude
10. Play poker. Video games are much more fun.
Poker is male bonding bs'ing time... video games are for arguing with immature potheads and toddlers through a headset
11. Never dance. Unless your buddy got the cheapest wedding band available.
I don't dance because i'm not good at it... if i were good, i might
12. Shoot guns. You won't have a girlfriend to protect if she's scared of your hobby.
I'm pretty sure we are all agree with this one.
13. Let your body hair grow rampantly. It's not the '70s, and your name isn't Burt.
I'm not a body hair kinda guy. i dont want to go down on chewy, so why should she have to
14. Start fights at bars. This doesn't make you a man, just a terrible drunk.
I've never started any fight... finished a fair amount though, as well as had my butt kicked a few times.
15. Spit. Does the sidewalk look like a sink to you?
i don't think there is anything wrong with spitting outdoors... sometimes you just have to
16. Fart and burp loudly. OK, that will always be pretty manly.
All dependent on the situation
Grand58742
11-04-13, 10:29
I just put this article here for Sh*ts and giggles
I don't know who this Aaron Goldfarb is or what this "guy code " is all about nor do I care, But its another example of a man trying to emasculate men which I see is going to be another trend in this country that started with metrosexualism # 12 is totally ridiculous.
http://guycodeblog.mtv.com/2013/06/21/irrelevant-to-manhood/?utm_source=zergnet.com&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=zergnet_70409
Welcome to Generation Y...selected parts
#3, How about financially smart? The cost of repairs from a pro versus fixing that leaky faucet yourself? No brainer.
#4, some of the manliest men I know have cried. No shame in that
#5, I have found a lot of women enjoy something other than mac and cheese and a grilled steak
#9, absolutely disagree. As a minimum at least offer. It's the polite thing to do feminist or not. And this is what is wrong in society today
#11, I tend to hurt people dancing, including myself and my partner and anyone in a three foot radius, so can't agree
#12 intrigues me the most. If you cannot protect your lady or family without having to resort to dialing 911, you aren't much of a man anyway. If a woman is scared of that particular hobby/lifestyle, don't want her around anyway.
Phillygunguy
11-04-13, 10:55
#1 I never had a stick so...
#2 stupid also I know plenty of girls who cream in their Jeans over a hot car.
# 4 I don't cry unless something is horrible, eg, when my mom died
#5 I don't cook but I'd like to learn
#9 I dance, not often, not good, but if the situation requires.
#12 my gf accepts my guns are my lifestyle, and for self defense
#13 I'm Italian so...
#14 I don't fight in bars I'm a happy drunk
#15 Spitting is disgusting but may be required, I don't do it in front of a girl
#16 Hey my gf and I do it , although I'm worse
brickboy240
11-04-13, 11:05
I don't think much of men that cannot work on their cars, do simple home repairs or don't have a decent collection of tools.
-brickboy240
Bad Medicine
11-04-13, 11:14
More attempts by the media to indoctrinate men into the "mixed gender" category. What a joke this article is!
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I think this article written by some hipster douchebag in skinny jeans.
By #3 I realized that the author must be ghey and created this list to make himself feel better about his gheyness. There are a few items that I don't necessarily disagree with, however, if a guy needs confirmation from this list to feel better about his "manliness", likely he has none.
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Eurodriver
11-04-13, 11:43
I think this article written by some hipster douchebag in skinny jeans.
https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/378800000498747658/38996ff93d2f10eaafb3c2f77cd44fad.jpeg
https://twitter.com/aarongoldfarb
Bad Medicine
11-04-13, 11:46
https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/378800000498747658/38996ff93d2f10eaafb3c2f77cd44fad.jpeg
https://twitter.com/aarongoldfarb
Is it just me or does your gaydar go off just looking a this elf looking hipster? Sometimes you can just see it in the face...
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https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/378800000498747658/38996ff93d2f10eaafb3c2f77cd44fad.jpeg
https://twitter.com/aarongoldfarb
Yep! That pretty much confirms it.
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Phillygunguy
11-04-13, 11:54
https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/378800000498747658/38996ff93d2f10eaafb3c2f77cd44fad.jpeg
https://twitter.com/aarongoldfarb
I bet he pees sitting down
Real men don't give a **** about lists created by some homo who knows he doesn't really measure up.
While not everyone's favorite genre, seems appropriate to queue up some Brad Paisley.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6yQ9a-hJVy0
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He looks like a fruitcake that I would expect to see sitting in the patio at a trendy coffee house, with his legs crossed (like a woman), skinny jeans, and "Tweeting" on his I-Pad. Whatever works for him I guess. He probably takes longer to get dressed in the morning than most women.
I'll throw in a pinch of Copenhagen in his honor.
CrazyFingers
11-04-13, 12:27
Kind of a mixed bag here, but what the hell, I'll throw in my $0.02 (and it's worth every penny)
1. Know how to drive stick shift.
I know how, my first two cars were sticks. It's not difficult, just a physical skill that must be practiced. But it's still a pain in the ass compared to an automatic transmission, which I prefer.
2. Get a boner when a hot sports car drives by.
I find most "hot sports cars" pretty boring, with a few exceptions.
3. Do your own home repairs. That's what landlords and children are for.
I'm guessing this fine young man doesn't own his own home? I do what I can, but a man needs to know his limits and when it's time to call a pro.
4. Never cry.
OK, bawling because you noticed your socks don't match your shirt? Yeah, stfu. But never cry? This is complete garbage. I've flat-out bawled twice in the 17 years my wife and I have been together. Once when our cat died at 18 years old (held her in my arms as the vet injected her to put her down). Once at my grandmother's funeral. You show me a "man" who doesn't cry looking down at his grandmother in her casket, and I'll show you a damned robot.
5. Be afraid to cook.
I love to cook. I cook 95% of our meals. First, because my wife can't cook (but she can bake like some kind of oven wizard), and second because if I cook, every meal is exactly what I wanted to eat, cooked exactly how I like it. Where's the down side?
6. Drink scotch neat.
Ok, he's right there, Scotch should be served neat.
7. Smoke cigarettes.
I quit smoking 17 years ago. One of the smartest things I ever did.
8. Not care about fitness. Yeah, enjoy that cheeseburger, but hit the damn gym after.
I do care, but since I've been the same weight/size since high school, it doesn't take much effort..
9. Give up your seat for a lady.
As others said, it depends on the "lady".
10. Play poker. Video games are much more fun.
Why does this need to be "either/or"? They're both fun.
11. Never dance.
Nope, not gonna do it. And not because of some archaic concept of masculinity, it's because I'm a danger to myself an others. No, really, I've had people tell me this. On the dance floor.
My wife and I danced at our reception 15 years ago, and we've been quite happy to keep it at that since.
12. Shoot guns. You won't have a girlfriend to protect if she's scared of your hobby.
I won't even dignify that one with a detailed explanation.
13. Let your body hair grow rampantly. It's not the '70s, and your name isn't Burt.
I think it's just common courtesy to keep things under control. I'm not an Olympic swimmer, so you won't catch me in the full body waxing salon, but I'm not going to let it go to mountain gorilla levels either.
14. Start fights at bars.
Why would one want to start a bar fight? I see no pros, and plenty of cons (including possibly becoming an ex-con, with all of the ensuing restrictions).
15. Spit. Does the sidewalk look like a sink to you?
Well, don't spit on the sidewalk, that is pretty nasty. But spitting in the woods? Gee, you afraid you'll offend the squirrels?
16. Fart and burp loudly. OK, that will always be pretty manly.
The wife does get a good giggle when she lets off a loud belch. Yeah, she's a keeper.
https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/378800000498747658/38996ff93d2f10eaafb3c2f77cd44fad.jpeg
https://twitter.com/aarongoldfarb
I'll be ****ed if I start taking "alpha male" tips from a skinny jean wearing, effeminate little bitch like this.
That is all.
I'll be ****ed if I start taking "alpha male" tips from a skinny jean wearing, effeminate little bitch like this.
That is all.
Aaron? Is that you? Are you trying to cover this up now that you've been exposed?
:p
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My wife made it pretty clear on what she wanted.
She is a strong willed, hard working, independent minded lady that isn't afraid of getting down and dirty in the mud and field, isn't afraid of guns or "violent" activities, isn't afraid of trying new things, and yet loves being a classy lady. Dressing fancy, manicures, spa treaments, working out, etc...
She wanted a Man. Not a boy but a man. Someone that can fix things, someone that can kill things, someone that can fight things, someone that can treat her like a lady, someone that can defend and protect, someone that can bring home the bacon, someone that can cook, someone that can cry, someone that can drink and smoke cigars, and lastly someone that is respectful, honorable, and that and cowboy the f#ck up when needed.
Most women claim they want a metrosexual boy but deep down most women want a hard working tough and nails man that can be manly and classy. Some of the classic bygone images of men were gruff SOBs that also could dress well and treat a lady right. John Wayne, Charles Bronson, Lee Marvin, Frank Sinatra, Bing Crosby, etc...
Manliness isn't just about being gruff and hard, it is about being humble, classy, respectful, caring, and soft. It is being well rounded and confident. It is about having your shit in order and stepping up to the plate.
I make my wife breakfast, turn on her car for her in the morning to oreheat it, and do little things in her morning that she loves. Why? Because it is treating her right as a lady. I work out for two reasons. I want to be healthy and I want to look damn good for her. She works out for me for the same reasons.
Most "Men" aren't men, they are boys or undereducated, no mannered, crude, rude savages or winy little bitches tht cry to mommy and daddy because they stubbed their toe.
Magic_Salad0892
11-04-13, 13:00
I'll offer a few responses.
1. Know how to drive stick shift.
Skill that everybody should have, just for flexibility.
2. Get a boner when a hot sports car drives by.
Eh. I don't care about cars that much.
3. Do your own home repairs. That's what landlords and children are for.
What if you own your own place? Fix what you know how to fix, call a pro when something more complicated comes alone.
4. Never cry.
I cried like a bitch when I got to 365 days sober. **** that guy.
5. Be afraid to cook.
I'm with the author on this one. Cooking is fun, and rewarding.
6. Drink scotch neat.
Yeah. I can dig that.
7. Smoke cigarettes.
Disgusting habit. For men and women.
8. Not care about fitness. Yeah, enjoy that cheeseburger, but hit the damn gym after.
I used to weigh 210. I weigh 140 lbs. now. Fitness beats being a fatty.
9. Give up your seat for a lady.
As others said, it depends on the "lady".
10. Play poker. Video games are much more fun.
I play poker in Red Dead Redemption. I hope your mind explodes.
I dig both.
11. Never dance.
Saturday Night Fever contradicts you.
12. Shoot guns. You won't have a girlfriend to protect if she's scared of your hobby.
And your girlfriend won't be thankful to be alive if she isn't alive.
13. Let your body hair grow rampantly. It's not the '70s, and your name isn't Burt.
I'm not a body hair kinda guy. Leg hair, armbit, etc. is cool. Pubic hair needs to be monitored.
14. Start fights at bars.
Felonies. Yay.
15. Spit. Does the sidewalk look like a sink to you?
Just not in front of people.
16. Fart and burp loudly. OK, that will always be pretty manly.
Burping is cool. Rippin' ass needs to be properly placed.
Army Chief
11-04-13, 13:02
Manliness isn't just about being gruff and hard, it is about being humble, classy, respectful, caring, and soft. It is being well rounded and confident. It is about having your shit in order and stepping up to the plate.
Wisest words on the topic you are ever likely to read.
AC
Doc Safari
11-04-13, 13:12
The most unmanly thing I can think of is to sit around worrying like a little girl over whether something is manly.
Key to being a man: own a Bushmaster.
It must be true, I read it in a magazine.
CrazyFingers
11-04-13, 13:26
So, it's safe to assume that the author of this...I'll be generous and call it an article...
Cannot drive a stick, cannot fix anything in his rented walk up studio apartment in Williamsburg, cries when it's cloudy (or sunny), thinks Scotch is "icky", would sit and glare hatefully at a woman standing exhausted on a subway car without moving his ass, doesn't know a straight flush from a full house, is the best twerker on his block, and believes that the shoulder thing that goes up is the most dangerous thing invented by mankind.
:rolleyes:
So, it's safe to assume that the author of this...I'll be generous and call it an article...
Cannot drive a stick, cannot fix anything in his rented walk up studio apartment in Williamsburg, cries when it's cloudy (or sunny), thinks Scotch is "icky", would sit and glare hatefully at a woman standing exhausted on a subway car without moving his ass, doesn't know a straight flush from a full house, is the best twerker on his block, and believes that the shoulder thing that goes up is the most dangerous thing invented by mankind.
:rolleyes:
Also: Wears skinny jeans and prefers the intimate company of other men to members of the fairer gender.
skijunkie55
11-04-13, 13:36
Looked at the OP's link, saw "mtv.com" in the URL...
:suicide:
brickboy240
11-04-13, 13:58
Yes, the fact that it CAME from MTV already places it firmly in the "total bullshit" class if you ask me.
-brickboy240
Manliness isn't just about being gruff and hard, it is about being humble, classy, respectful, caring, and soft. It is being well rounded and confident. It is about having your shit in order and stepping up to the plate.
This.
The list is BS.
brickboy240
11-04-13, 16:02
Being a man also means you can take care of things and know how to fix things.
Your wife can call a freaking repair man! LOL
I am not saying everyone needs to know how to weld or run a lathe but a basic set of tools and the knowledge to repair basic things should be part of being a man.
If this seems "macho" or "outdated" to some....so be it.
-brickboy240
Phillygunguy
11-04-13, 16:49
Looked at the OP's link, saw "mtv.com" in the URL...
:suicide:
did you know MTV used to actually play music at one time ? :p
Voodoo_Man
11-04-13, 16:51
#17 making man rules using your own personal opinions is tantamount to having a vigina.
Phillygunguy
11-04-13, 16:55
Like I said initially this is for shits and giggles, but the thing is how many young guys today take this as gospel is sad, Most of them probably got a trophy for just showing up to a game rather than wining at something
montanadave
11-04-13, 18:39
Manscaping? Really?
I've never taken a razor to any part of my body below the neck and the only time someone shaved my crotch was when I had a vasectomy.
Manscaping? Really?
I've never taken a razor to any part of my body below the neck and the only time someone shaved my crotch was when I had a vasectomy.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ht09fEGgPLM
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William B.
11-04-13, 19:26
Real men don't give a **** about lists created by some homo who knows he doesn't really measure up.
Yep. This about sums it up for me, too.
Don Robison
11-04-13, 19:47
https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/378800000498747658/38996ff93d2f10eaafb3c2f77cd44fad.jpeg
https://twitter.com/aarongoldfarb
I showed the article and his picture to my wife and she said "His boyfriend must not like that stuff." :D
Manscaping? Really?
I've never taken a razor to any part of my body below the neck and the only time someone shaved my crotch was when I had a vasectomy.
Quid pro quo...
I don't like diving into a African Savannah for some beaver and she doesn't like slurping Amazonian Rain Forest vines while having Cuban Sausage. It also just feels better.
SeriousStudent
11-04-13, 20:40
A man is what your son wants to be when he grows up.
A man is what your daughter wants to find and marry, who reminds her of you.
A man is what your wife prays for, when it's cold and dark and raining and her car broke down.
A man is what your friends scream for, when they are listening to that tearing/snapping noise that near misses make.
Be that man, not some ridiculous list from a 8th grader's website.
Thank God there are men, so persons like Aaron Goldfarb can be safe.
Whiskey_Bravo
11-04-13, 21:00
A man is what your son wants to be when he grows up.
A man is what your daughter wants to find and marry, who reminds her of you.
A man is what your wife prays for, when it's cold and dark and raining and her car broke down.
A man is what your friends scream for, when they are listening to that tearing/snapping noise that near misses make.
Be that man, not some ridiculous list from a 8th grader's website.
Thank God there are men, so persons like Aaron Goldfarb can be safe.
Well said my friend.
brickboy240
11-05-13, 10:25
Shave yourself from head to toe, stop using tools, stop belching...and so on.
Pretty soon they will require you to pee sitting down.
....the end of man in western society as we know him.
LOL
Adam Corolla has a book titled, "In 10 Years We Will all be Chicks" and I think he is on to something.
The list is for metros & homos.
Who cares what they think?
Yessir. Fruity is the word. He probably showers with his male roommate, and they have a blowgun and a Taurus Judge for home defense. He reminds me of a guy I once worked with. He said that he knew he wasn't gay because he had had sex with a man and didn't like it. The man was a band director who was later fired because he got caught playing a skin flute.
MountainRaven
11-05-13, 19:58
A great man once said that a human being should be able to do the following things:
Change a diaper
Plan an invasion
Butcher a hog
Conn a ship
Design a building
Write a sonnet
Balance accounts
Build a wall
Set a bone
Comfort the dying
Take orders
Give orders
Cooperate
Act alone
Solve equations
Analyze a new problem
Pitch manure
Program a computer
Cook a tasty meal
Fight efficiently
Die gallantly.
It's a tall order, admittedly. But that's why it's a should list. And it's completely gender-neutral. Doesn't matter whether you're a man or a woman, gay or straight, trans- or cisgendered. Clearly some of the things on the list linked to in the OP go against this list. These things are clearly wrong. For one, I dare you to be able to fight efficiently without a working knowledge of firearms. I dare you to design a building or build a wall if you cannot effect minor repairs in your own dwelling. And if you can't drive a stick, you're probably going to be helpless commanding a ship. Just saying.
If you can't do all the things on that list, I wouldn't worry about being a manly man or not, you still have shit needs learning. And if you can do all the things on that list, you don't worry about being a manly man or not because no one cares how you drink your scotch or bourbon or how much body hair you have or where you spit.
These freon junkie urbanites that don't even know how to run a lawn mower understand about as much about masculinity and being a genuine American as they do about nuclear physics papers written in Swahili.
... and they have a blowgun and a Taurus Judge for home defense. While not for home defense, I'm actually rather fond of blowguns. They're great for winter indoor fun when I don't want to drive through ice and snow to get to the nearest indoor pistol range.
Fjallhrafn,
Regarding your list: I'm old school. Guys my age "could" change a diaper, we just didn't because that's what a mother does. I never expected her to mow the lawn or fix the fence or kill the venomous snake. That was my job. Still is.
Program a computer. Don't want to learn. Too f****** boring. Want a tree sawn down and cut into firewood? I'll be happy to oblige. My chainsaw is always ready.
The rest of the list, no problem.
P.S. The last feral hog I shot (on my property) and butchered was something my wife volunteered to help me with. As it turned out, when I made the incision to gut it, she almost passed out. I gently advised her to go back in the house - which she promptly did, while I quietly chuckled and got the job done. She did do a great job of cooking it and some of it I barbecued.
MountainRaven
11-06-13, 09:39
Fjallhrafn,
Regarding your list: I'm old school. Guys my age "could" change a diaper, we just didn't because that's what a mother does. I never expected her to mow the lawn or fix the fence or kill the venomous snake. That was my job. Still is.
Program a computer. Don't want to learn. Too f****** boring. Want a tree sawn down and cut into firewood? I'll be happy to oblige. My chainsaw is always ready.
The rest of the list, no problem.
P.S. The last feral hog I shot (on my property) and butchered was something my wife volunteered to help me with. As it turned out, when I made the incision to gut it, she almost passed out. I gently advised her to go back in the house - which she promptly did, while I quietly chuckled and got the job done. She did do a great job of cooking it and some of it I barbecued.
Considering that the man who wrote that list published it 40 years ago and died a quarter century ago at the age of 80…. ;)
Again, it's a should list. I'm sure the author knew very well that the way things should be and the way things are, are two very different things.
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