View Full Version : The universal hot crazy matrix on women
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0_yj-ZNi9DI
Got this sent to me twice. Been watching it all morning and sending it to others.
I live in the Danger Zone... and may get patches made.
(One of the best Youtube videos ever)
The chart needs to be about 4' higher on the crazy size for my wife to register on it.
Beware the tranny in an unicorn costume.
The chart needs to be about 4' higher on the crazy size for my wife to register on it.
You're in the danger zone too huh? I have to get a patch made. The hardest thing I've done in my life is deal with my crazy idiot wife.
Yall have it easy. You always know to expect crazy. Mine groups up and down the crazy chart, and catches me off guard when I least expect it. Usually in the form of flying dishware, for something I didn't even know that I did. Maybe she would produce tighter groups on the chart, if I removed her muzzle device and scrubbed her crown a little.
Mine groups up and down the crazy chart
Loose barrel nut.
You're in the danger zone too huh? I have to get a patch made. The hardest thing I've done in my life is deal with my crazy idiot wife.
Yea I'm in the danger zone. I've figured out & accomplished lots of things in my life but I can't figure out this crazy wife. Are you still with the crazy idiot wife?
A tactical patch with the hot/crazy graph chart would be priceless!
My question is... what does this chart look like for the OTHER gender. What is the measurement axis?
X = Ability to provide. 1= being "I am an independent Contractor" and 10= actually has a job at a decent wage.
Y = Prickishness. 10= selfish prick, 1= selfless, compassionate, considerate. No man exists that scores at less than a 4.
My question is... what does this chart look like for the OTHER gender.
You're out of the Heman Woman haters club.
That video was the highlight of my day.
That video was the highlight of my day.
"reasonably not crazy most of the time" :sarcastic:
"That's a dude!"
That's Hilarious. Sad part everything he says it true!!
My wife is a 9-10, very hot. She was crazier than Leslie Van Houten on her period. But like a wild horse they need to be broken. 2 years of what seemed like mental BUD/S and I have a unicorn. It worries me some nights that the bear is just asleep though. This video is legit.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Moose-Knuckle
08-01-14, 17:56
I can hear Kenny Loggins singing now . . . DANGER ZONE! :lol:
I've been thinking I need to create a morale patch for guys like me who are married to redheads.
ColtSeavers
08-01-14, 18:02
I thought this was pretty accurate as well.
The Barney Stinson Hot/Crazy Scale: http://youtu.be/uN_sSXKbzHk
I can hear Kenny Loggins singing now . . . DANGER ZONE! :lol:
You too huh. While interesting, it still doesn't come anywhere close to The Ladder Theory.
Redbeardsong
08-01-14, 20:11
You're out of the Heman Woman haters club.
Love it!
I feel sorry for you guys, I ditched the crazy in my life.
I feel sorry for you guys, I ditched the crazy in my life.
You know, I always think the same thing the first 2-3 years into a relationship. That's about my average before the crazy starts to kick in. They're always stable at first as I avoid the obvious nuts outright. I sometimes wonder if it's my fault, but then I come to my senses and realize that it's just women in general. There are exceptions to the rule of course.
I've found that the best way to deal with your lady when she's being unreasonable is to stare her deep in the eyes, tell her that you love her no matter what, remind her that it takes two to tango, then pull your wang out and do a crab dance around the room while making Zoidberg sounds. Mushroom stamp / donkey punch is optional.
montanadave
08-02-14, 06:17
You too huh. While interesting, it still doesn't come anywhere close to The Ladder Theory.
Tru dat!
"That's a dude!"
Best part of the vid!
I was expecting a good chuckle but the premise, plus, the "seriousness" of how it was presented just made it absolutely hilarious.
montanadave
08-02-14, 08:47
Best part of the vid!
I was expecting a good chuckle but the premise, plus, the "seriousness" of how it was presented just made it absolutely hilarious.
It reminded me of the episode on The Big Bang Theory when Stuart, the comic book store guy, describes his worst date as the one where he was told "You know I'm a dude, right?"
I managed to waste an hour of productive time this morning at work watching all of the ladder theory parts, and it was good. Lots of good info, but the hot/crazy matrix sums all of that up in a few minutes. I have only showed it to one person at a time so I can keep watching it.
On a side note, I shared it with my wife, to which of course, she claims to be a unicorn. All that I had to do was chuckle at her response, and Lucifer exited the gates of hell. Ha, good thing I am hours from home, where her dishware can't reach me. She'll be over it by the time I'm back home in a few days.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0_yj-ZNi9DI
I thought it was well done, essentially correct, and old news, until he hit the "unicorn zone" and that was legit LOL. ;)
The universe makes a lot more sense now.
There should be campaign ribbons for "tours".
Where was this chart when I met my ex. I instantly would have had the proper tool to diagnose and realize she was to be left in the date zone and moved on. Well, I guess lesson learned. Current woman in my life is sorta like range time with a mixed box of assorted ammo, looks the same each day but doesn't always hit the POA.
She saw the video and, shockingly, told me how lucky I was to find a unicorn. I smiled and looked in her eyes lovingly, then nearly choked on the mouthful of Mt. Dew I was consuming. The next few minutes weren't pretty. Training and experience kicked in and I was able to advance to the rear to fight another day.
Moose-Knuckle
08-02-14, 11:01
On a side note, I shared it with my wife, to which of course, she claims to be a unicorn. All that I had to do was chuckle at her response, and Lucifer exited the gates of hell. Ha, good thing I am hours from home, where her dishware can't reach me. She'll be over it by the time I'm back home in a few days.
I shared it with my wife and she really got a good laugh out of it, she agreed with the whole readhead DANGER ZONE thing!
Averageman
08-02-14, 11:37
I used to be married to a beautiful Spanish redhead that looked like a ginger version of Bridget Bardot.
I woke up one night with her sitting on my chest with my pistol pointing at my forehead.
This explains everything.
montanadave
08-02-14, 11:39
I used to be married to a beautiful Spanish redhead that looked like a ginger version of Bridget Bardot.
I woke up one night with her sitting on my chest with my pistol pointing at my forehead.
This explains everything.
I think we're going to need some additional details on that particular story. :lol:
Moose-Knuckle
08-02-14, 11:51
I used to be married to a beautiful Spanish redhead that looked like a ginger version of Bridget Bardot.
I woke up one night with her sitting on my chest with my pistol pointing at my forehead.
This explains everything.
Did you forget the safe word?
I used to be married to a beautiful Spanish redhead that looked like a ginger version of Bridget Bardot.
I woke up one night with her sitting on my chest with my pistol pointing at my forehead.
This explains everything.
My ex wife a Spanish Fitness model. Nuff said...
Original, that seems to be produced by our friend James Yeager.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hKWmFWRVLlU
This version has intro/outro with Yeager, actual firearms, and the equivalent for men as a funny bonus at the end.
OPs link was to one definitely cleaned up for "public consumption"
I've found that the best way to deal with your lady when she's being unreasonable is to stare her deep in the eyes, tell her that you love her no matter what, remind her that it takes two to tango, then pull your wang out and do a crab dance around the room while making Zoidberg sounds. Mushroom stamp / donkey punch is optional.
That is epic, I will have to remember that.
They are all fk'ing crazy in their own way. I've yet to run across a unicorn. I thought my current wife was a unicorn and now 19 years later I found out I married a complete lunatic. Just this morning she was teary eyed because I asked her why the house is a mess (she's a stay at home mom) and she said I need to lighten up on her. WTF? I worked 75 hours last week and I need to lighten up on her? I can't help but laugh.
Boys, as they say, divorce is expensive because its worth it.
I would be considered force recon seal jsoc etc, etc... When it come to dating redheads. Virtually an SME...
Swim away...
Moose-Knuckle
08-02-14, 13:31
Boys, as they say, divorce is expensive because its worth it.
I would be considered force recon seal jsoc etc, etc... When it come to dating redheads. Virtually an SME...
Swim away...
:lol:
I can hear Kenny Loggins singing now . . . DANGER ZONE! :lol:
.
Ditto...
"Hiiiiiiiiiiwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyy tooooooooooooooooo the DANGER ZONE!"
That five minutes of my life I won't get back.
polydeuces
08-02-14, 14:09
Boys, as they say, divorce is expensive because its worth it.
I would be considered force recon seal jsoc etc, etc... When it come to dating redheads. Virtually an SME...
Swim away...
I can do you one better.
Imagine dealing with a ginger hairSTYLIST.....
Now limiting myself to Asian ladies of the Buddhist persuasion.
"Mine groups up and down the crazy chart"
Loose barrel nut.:lol:
Averageman
08-02-14, 19:10
I think we're going to need some additional details on that particular story. :lol:
The words I remember were Chu Sumbana Beech.
Something about not calling home for the last 72 hours while TDY in a school. The part that always killed me (nearly literally this time) was that there was always someone who's wife was an expert on everything about the military. They could be counted on to tell lengthy stories to new spouces that were usually 3rd hand fables and pure fiction.
I'm sure it hasn't changed.
Bolt_Overide
08-04-14, 14:10
I can do you one better.
Imagine dealing with a ginger hairSTYLIST.....
Now limiting myself to Asian ladies of the Buddhist persuasion.
Got you beat. 5 foot 1, 105 pounds, long curly red hair, stripper. (she will beat me if I dont call it burlesque....)
I can do you one better.
Imagine dealing with a ginger hairSTYLIST......
BTDT.:nono:
You know, I always think the same thing the first 2-3 years into a relationship. That's about my average before the crazy starts to kick in. They're always stable at first as I avoid the obvious nuts outright.
THAT, my man, is what Pappabear and I refer to as "GAME FACE". I've got a ding bat who can get people to tell me how lucky I am to have her. HA!!! What a fukking kick in the nuts that is.
I've got a ding bat who can get people to tell me how lucky I am to have her. HA!!! What a fukking kick in the nuts that is.
No wonder you and Pappabear do so much shooting in the desert.
Got you beat. 5 foot 1, 105 pounds, long curly red hair, stripper. (she will beat me if I dont call it burlesque....)
Well, if you don't want her anymore I'll gladly take her off your hands...
Moose-Knuckle
08-05-14, 02:55
Got you beat. 5 foot 1, 105 pounds, long curly red hair, stripper. (she will beat me if I dont call it burlesque....)
That's win-win there bro! Risk vs. reward and all . . .
My wife is attractive enough that I would be literally risking physical injury if I tried to show her this video...
Anybody ever had a female boss? I had one who would ride her menstrual cycle to work and run slap over my ass.
Anybody know the difference between a woman hollering and screaming on the front porch and a dog barking and raising hell on the back porch? If you let the dog in, he'll shut up.
Guys, remember if it has tits and wheels, you're gona have trouble with it.
My wife is a 9-10, very hot. She was crazier than Leslie Van Houten on her period. But like a wild horse they need to be broken. 2 years of what seemed like mental BUD/S and I have a unicorn. It worries me some nights that the bear is just asleep though. This video is legit.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
They just pretend they are broken to ride.
montanadave
08-06-14, 04:32
Guys, remember if it has tits and wheels, you're gona have trouble with it.
So, like, run from women in wheelchairs? :laugh:
Bolt_Overide
08-06-14, 16:19
Well, if you don't want her anymore I'll gladly take her off your hands...
No sir, pretty damn happy with the whole package, but then, I likes me some crazy, must be the viking blood.
No sir, pretty damn happy with the whole package, but then, I likes me some crazy, must be the viking blood.
In that case, she got sister? I do likes 'em feisty...:dance3:
Bolt_Overide
08-07-14, 10:46
In that case, she got sister? I do likes 'em feisty...:dance3:
She does, but trust me you do NOT want to go there.
Anybody dressed in Dockers, AKA vagina repellant, a white shirt that's 2 sizes too big and comfortable shoes knows zip about unicorns, or women in general. His video should've detailed how to look like a corporate cubicle dork who can't get laid while talking shit about women at happy hour with your work buds.
Anybody dressed in Dockers, AKA vagina repellant, a white shirt that's 2 sizes too big and comfortable shoes
Gun guys generally don't know how to dress business professional... some exceptions of course...
Anybody dressed in Dockers, AKA vagina repellant, a white shirt that's 2 sizes too big and comfortable shoes knows zip about unicorns, or women in general. His video should've detailed how to look like a corporate cubicle dork who can't get laid while talking shit about women at happy hour with your work buds.
I thought dude was some kind of LE? In the beginning it looks like he's wearing a holstered pistol? I could be wrong. Maybe he's a cubicle dork with a holstered I-pad?
Anybody dressed in Dockers, AKA vagina repellant, a white shirt that's 2 sizes too big and comfortable shoes knows zip about unicorns, or women in general. His video should've detailed how to look like a corporate cubicle dork who can't get laid while talking shit about women at happy hour with your work buds.
I thought that was part of the schtick of the video. Though a tweed jacket with patches on the elbows using a chalkboard would have also worked.
wildcard600
08-07-14, 14:33
looks like some in this thread need a sense of humor/uptight panties in a wad matrix.
looks like some in this thread need a sense of humor/uptight panties in a wad matrix.
Crazy women will make men that way huh? :sarcastic:
I thought dude was some kind of LE? In the beginning it looks like he's wearing a holstered pistol? I could be wrong. Maybe he's a cubicle dork with a holstered I-pad?
I thought that was part of the schtick of the video. Though a tweed jacket with patches on the elbows using a chalkboard would have also worked.
Who knows... Maybe I'm in left field but my statement still stands. Dressing like that ain't getting you nowhere but on the lower end of the matrix.
wildcard600
08-07-14, 15:22
Who knows... Maybe I'm in left field but my statement still stands. Dressing like that ain't getting you nowhere but on the lower end of the matrix.
so which one of the village people should we dress as ?
;)
Well I personally want to be on the lower end of the matrix. The DANGER ZONE is at the top... and where I live every day.
I'm buying khakis and a big white shirt tonight!
I wonder if there's a way to incorporate PMS into the chart? Last night was hell. The wife was crying, super emotional, & completely irrational over dinner plans this weekend. Then an hour later she said that it was PMS & she might be premenopausal. Holy fk'ing shit! Tonight I plan to bring home an exorcist & together we'll attempt to cast out the demons that are haunting her. It won't be pretty.
The vagina repellent comment reminded me of the black framed eye glasses that the military used to issue. Troops referred to them as birth control glasses. No way to get laid if you wore them. Anybody here wear turtle necks?
You guys really need to be less chauvinistic and show your feminine side to your distraught wives. :p
so which one of the village people should we dress as ?
;)
My guess is the cowboy :)
I'm buying khakis and a big white shirt tonight!
Pictures or it didn't happen. ;)
The guy in the video is a happily married family law attorney. That said, his video is the truth.
My red head wife pegs off the crazy chart, but thankfully spends a lot of time below the line. The problem is the target moves so often I have no idea where to aim. She did have a great laugh when I showed her the video.
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