View Full Version : Is this lady wrong?
Ok so might be kind of a long story but here it goes.
Earlier today in the late afternoon I took a drive down to the local convenience store to grab a couple drinks. On my way down I came across a car accident that had just happned. being an off duty LEO I get out to help out and see that its a car v motorcycle accident and the rider is down in the street. Apparently this rider was hauling ass and weaving in and out of rush hour traffic on his big ass Harley type bike and rear ended a car. He was wearing a helmet but didnt have it latched so it flew off and he smashed his head on the ground. Looking at the head trauma, his sporadic grasping breathes and the empty look in his eyes I knew this was most likely going to turn fatal. A paramedic and doctor also stopped so they began chest compressions. I grabbed my emergency bag from my trunk and give it to the doctor.
While we were helping this poor man a lady approaches me (I guess they figured out I was LE probably from how I was talking with 911) and tells me that some random lady had grabbed the dudes cell phone and started calling the riders family and friends. That just boggled my mind. I never would have thought to grab some dying mans phone and start calling numbers on it to tell people what happened. I told the lady she probably should stop but she just kept dialing away.
By this time the fire department had arrived and so did a couple patrol units. I let one of the officers know about the chick with the phone then helped gather witness information before I left.
Like I said I would have never thought to grab this guys cell phone and start calling people. To me it just seems wrong but I cant put my finger on why exactly I feel it is wrong. What do you guys think?
She's way out of line. She doesn't know the depth of the situation but is relaying it as fact to people who are absolutely going to react with high emotions. Sounds like she's either had a few head injuries herself, or she's just one of those vapid twats that is too stupid to be let outside.
Remember that city we all hated to enter? River City? That shit existed for a reason.
Apricotshot
12-30-14, 07:11
Did the rider make it?
Some people have I.C.E. numbers in there phone and their intention is in an incident like this someone does call, that number.
Doing what she did was way out of line.
You should be used to random people doing wierd things. I'd be more concerned about her getting in my way while trying to help. If she's not impeding aide I don't care what she does.
Averageman
12-30-14, 09:54
Yeah; well I wouldn't want my 92 year old Grandmother finding out that way.
I have a hard enough time watching others ride that way, splitting lanes however fun that might be, isn't the way to grow old.
Bad situation only made worse by someone doing a Mrs Kravitz and sticking her nose where it don't belong.
This is how a friend was told his daughter was killed in an accident. Passer-by just started dialing mom/dad numbers in the contact list, "hey I just passed an accident and got this phone off a girl, she's dead, thought you should know". As hard as it would be to find out no matter what, I would think there would be a better way to let them know.
She was out of line and if I was O/D there I would have taken it out of her hand and given it to responding LEOs.
While I would want to know ASAP if I was family, I would not want to know from her, but from a FR.
Who would even think to do some retarded shit like that. This world is full of idiots.
Some people have ICE as prefix to names in their contact list: In Case of Emergency. She seems to have known this and maybe saw ICE in front of the names she called.
or she could have called and said this rider has been in a accident and handled it OK ?
or looking and found a I.C.E. number ?
who knows
strange yeah I guess ?
but she most likely thought she was helping ? playing devils advocate what if she got ahold of a spouse and they got the hospital and at least got to say goodbye ? then I would be thanking that person maybe she was a ER nurse and had seen to many people die and family not being able to say goodbye ?
having been in the FD and also doing some emergency work with tourists a lot I have a dif perspective and so my mental approach is 180 of what she did so I try not to judge others on what they do like that
and anyone who is a medic or in the FD or LEO I think knows from pulling up on enough scenes strange often is the norm and common sense and rational behavior is rare she could have kinda been in shock herself
Honu,
You have a generous heart.
I think she was one of those busy bodies who can't resist being the one to deliver bad news and then feel important.
Mo_Zam_Beek
12-30-14, 15:11
It could have been [The Departed]Ma, um not gonna be home for suppa[/The Departed] call as well…..
FromMyColdDeadHand
12-30-14, 15:13
At least she wasn't stealing the phone or calling relatives in Whogivesafrackistan.
No lock on the phone? Considering he was riding a bike, I'd assume the phone time-out locked.
brickboy240
12-30-14, 16:32
Way out of line.
It is NOT her property, period. If you find a phone at an accident scene and it belongs to someone incapacitated...shouldn't you give it to the officer on the scene or at least the responding paramedics?
SilverBullet432
12-30-14, 16:50
Yes..
I've been in the fire rescue service for a long time now, and I suspect her heart was probably in the right place but she had no idea what to do so she ended up doing something she shouldn't have.
As a rescue tech I have actually had a person try this on our scene. A very firm, "I will have you arrested if you don't give me the phone" has stopped it cold, yet the woman had the nerve to tell me "the family needs to know"... Like it's going to help at this point??
I will say that there is nothing more gut wrenching than cell phones going off with "Mom" or "Dad" on the screen as you cut someone's kid out of a wrecked car.
If someone has an unlocked phone and has ICE in front of contacts then how is it wrong to call them?
Moose-Knuckle
12-31-14, 03:47
Well the road to hell is paved with good intentions . . .
These ladies described by some of you first responders sound like The ****-up Fairy and The Good-Idea Fairy rolled into one. "The family has the right to know", yeah and your just the person to notify them . . . NOT. Personally if I rolled up on a scene and saw someone going through the pockets/purse/vehicle of an accident victim I would think they are robbing them of personal effects. Smart phones are hot items now-a-days.
Yeah very well could be and people today most likely that type :)
I just don't get most folks these days sadly :)
Honu,
You have a generous heart.
I think she was one of those busy bodies who can't resist being the one to deliver bad news and then feel important.
If someone has an unlocked phone and has ICE in front of contacts then how is it wrong to call them?
Because from the sounds of it, even the first responders hadn't yet gotten a good gouge of the scene. The trained ones, not the first rubberneckers to respond with Facebook posts and camera phones and bad ideas. So how does this woman have any relevant information to pass on to NOK if she's not sure what's happening? Even if the rider was exploded into so many krabby patties there was no chance of survival, is she an experienced grief counselor who will know how to conduct Death Notifications with any sort of sensitivity?
So her heart was in the right place and she tells Ma and Pa that Ricky won't be making it for New Years dinner. What hospital did they take him to to have the official TOD pronounced, or does she not know. Where do they go to get personal effects and remains. What if they're a few hours away and on vacation (tis the season) and are now speeding down the highway distraught as can be because Becky couldn't help but say something completely stupid and narcissistic like "Oh Emmm Geee, there's like brains coming out and he's definitely not breathing....my god my god you're so lucky I called you Mrs...what's your name? Wreck selfie!". Not really productive or safe. Same with giving them the hope that if they floor it they'll be able to say goodbye to someone who was dead before they were loaded into the Amber-Lamps.
I don't think the woman was being malicious, I just think she suffers from instant notification syndrome. Add a dash of bad judgement and a pinch of special snowflake mentality and you can see why these generic rules come down the pipe for everyone. Once first responders are on scene, the only thing a layperson should be doing if at all is helping to safely direct traffic. Anything else and they're becoming traffic. As for the ICE contacts, I use those for take out numbers I like most. I have a set of laminated instructions in my wallet with my ID (DNR/No artificial life support, NOK, alternates) but don't want to leave it up to someone's imagination to declare an emergency. Some people think a lost phone is the same as an emergency. If I really need help and can't dial on my own, I'd prefer they just call 911 instead of my aunt and gram and shithead brother.
Averageman
12-31-14, 09:43
Years ago, like decades actually I was in a pretty bad motorcycle accident.
I was rushed to the local clinic (we were to small a town for a Hospital) and they were picking the teeth and asphalt out of my mouth and scrubbing debris out of my road rash.
I looked up and my Mom is peeking through the little window in the door. Believe me, putting her through that was much more painful than anything that physically happened to me.
Someone had contacted my Mom and told her where I was and greatly exaggerated my condition, I would really prefer that not happen again.
If someone has an unlocked phone and has ICE in front of contacts then how is it wrong to call them? It is not wrong for a professional to make that call... nosy housewife on the side of the road, not so much.
Eurodriver
12-31-14, 12:34
"Oh Emmm Geee, there's like brains coming out and he's definitely not breathing....my god my god you're so lucky I called you Mrs...what's your name? Wreck selfie!". Not really productive or safe. Same with giving them the hope that if they floor it they'll be able to say goodbye to someone who was dead before they were loaded into the Amber-Lamps.
Please post more often.
"WRECK SELFIE", LOL!!!
I'm actually surprised she didn't start taking pictures and posting them to Facebook or Twitter.
Moose-Knuckle
12-31-14, 15:01
Because from the sounds of it, even the first responders hadn't yet gotten a good gouge of the scene. The trained ones, not the first rubberneckers to respond with Facebook posts and camera phones and bad ideas. So how does this woman have any relevant information to pass on to NOK if she's not sure what's happening? Even if the rider was exploded into so many krabby patties there was no chance of survival, is she an experienced grief counselor who will know how to conduct Death Notifications with any sort of sensitivity?
So her heart was in the right place and she tells Ma and Pa that Ricky won't be making it for New Years dinner. What hospital did they take him to to have the official TOD pronounced, or does she not know. Where do they go to get personal effects and remains. What if they're a few hours away and on vacation (tis the season) and are now speeding down the highway distraught as can be because Becky couldn't help but say something completely stupid and narcissistic like "Oh Emmm Geee, there's like brains coming out and he's definitely not breathing....my god my god you're so lucky I called you Mrs...what's your name? Wreck selfie!". Not really productive or safe. Same with giving them the hope that if they floor it they'll be able to say goodbye to someone who was dead before they were loaded into the Amber-Lamps.
I don't think the woman was being malicious, I just think she suffers from instant notification syndrome. Add a dash of bad judgement and a pinch of special snowflake mentality and you can see why these generic rules come down the pipe for everyone. Once first responders are on scene, the only thing a layperson should be doing if at all is helping to safely direct traffic. Anything else and they're becoming traffic. As for the ICE contacts, I use those for take out numbers I like most. I have a set of laminated instructions in my wallet with my ID (DNR/No artificial life support, NOK, alternates) but don't want to leave it up to someone's imagination to declare an emergency. Some people think a lost phone is the same as an emergency. If I really need help and can't dial on my own, I'd prefer they just call 911 instead of my aunt and gram and shithead brother.
You just raped the X-ring!
ShortytheFirefighter
01-02-15, 11:17
I've never had anything like this happen at a scene I was working, but I can't imagine it would go over well at all for anyone involved except for the self-important dumbass who appointed themselves to be the official bearer of bad news. I'd be pissed as hell if I got a phone call from a know-nothing at a scene telling me that something had happened to someone I care about.
That being said, shortly before I became a firefighter I ended up at a multiple car accident after a car crossed the median into wrong way traffic on a 4 lane divided highway. I was helping a woman trapped in her car with two broken legs, conscious and ok but obviously in a lot of pain. She asked me to call her husband for her, and that was a tough thing to do even though I knew she was going to be alright and she was there asking me to do it.
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.2.5 Copyright © 2024 vBulletin Solutions, Inc. All rights reserved.