View Full Version : Douche Gear 2015...
D-Bag requirements are constantly evolving with douche factions desperately trying to out douche each other. So how do you make sure you are keeping up with Jersey? Well here are the top ten douche "must haves" for 2015.
10. The Tap Out shirt - Still holding on strong and now standard d bag gear. This let's everyone know you think you are a badass MMA / BJJ guy who can't wait to "GET IT ON" at a moments notice. Don't just project aggression with just posture and words, let your shirt do it to.
http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lsb0gqj7jr1qdjk8l.jpg
9. Sagged pants - Doesn't matter that you grew up in the suburbs and your Dad is a psychiatrist and your Mom sells Mary Kay products. You know you are "really street" and you've watched enough rap videos to prove it. So you can flex your street cred while wearing designer boxer shorts and showing the douchettes what you are bringing to the party.
http://www.goodenoughmother.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/saggy-pants.jpg
8. Gang Signs - Despite your 6th grade education you have mastered the gang "hand sign" alphabet to reinforce your "banger from the burbs" image.
https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/PmW3K7EQzOXQcflMYbjSVE08gwFR-WiAIJ5Vxg5Q8U8
7. Sandals with socks - You are doing it 100% if you have black socks. Yes somehow dressing like a Miami retiree from 1984 is now certified "douche cool." The main difference seems to be 76 year old white males in 1984 wore their pants high, otherwise the fashions are sometimes almost identical. Bonus douche points for Adidas / Nike flip flops with black socks.
http://33.media.tumblr.com/f78a7d6fadcc6a96df3390ba0679099a/tumblr_n91rlvxsn91rz0vjho1_500.jpg
6. Affliction shirt - Every get that scary feeling that Tap Out shirts might not be cool and people are making fun of you? Rest easy, Affliction shirts are 100% pure douche.
http://robbrink.com/content/posts/affliction3.jpg
5. Roid Junkie - Another classic still holding strong. Sometimes it's difficult to be needlessly aggressive and ignore societal norms, standards and practices. But never fear, steroids can help you be the inconsiderate, douche bag asshole you know you have inside you and at the same time give you a killer six pack and back zits.
http://www.pwnfitness.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/Dennis-Wolf-back-acne.jpg
4. Red Tan - It is important for a douche to try not to be white. But a lot of douches are really, really white so they can't achieve a satisfying "pseudo minority" tan and they fear people laugh at them when they use spray on tan products.
http://www.douchearchives.com/douche/1107/-douche-1310817733.jpg
3. Designer facial hair / Fauxhawks - It's a tie so you can't lose. Do both for the ultimate douche combo. Without uttering a word, everyone knows...DOUCHE BAG.
http://dbagging.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/freetime.jpg
https://fashionablepeople.files.wordpress.com/2011/03/ronnie-jersey-shore.jpg
2. Boom Cars - Because it's hard to be an aggressive, asshole douche bag while driving. Sure you can drive like a dick, but that isn't bothering people a block away. Thankfully car audio design let's everyone know you are a true douche bag at distances of 5 block or more. You can also say goodbye to bullshit stories about how you don't live at home in your parents basement, douchettes can't hear a word you are saying.
http://info.acoustiblok.com/Portals/35535/images/Hiphopuse-resized-600.jpg
1. And the winner is...Vapes. Used to be you could smoke cigarettes and not only piss off everyone around you but you could actually shorten their lives with your bullshit. Then some "second hand smoke / you shouldn't be allowed to shorten my life" cry babies passed some laws that banned you from smoking in most public places.
You tried to ignore the law because you are so "gangster" but got tired of the police kicking your ass, finding your skunk weed stash and tasering you. But fear not, there is a solution. People call them "E cigarettes" and this allows you to pretend you care about giving up cigarettes while blowing giant ass vape clouds for everyone to choke on. Cigarettes were never this cool and who knows what kind of chemicals are actually in that stuff.
https://www.vapegenies.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/Vaporizer-Clouds.jpg
Quit making fun of my style, brah.... just kidding :)
Nicely done. The Affliction/Tap Out shirts are still popular around my part of Eastern WA. It takes most of my inner strength not to say "I see you're wearing a Tap Out shirt, I too like to fight. Shall we do this here or outside?" Just to see what happens.
Nicely done. The Affliction/Tap Out shirts are still popular around my part of Eastern WA. It takes most of my inner strength not to say "I see you're wearing a Tap Out shirt, I too like to fight. Shall we do this here or outside?" Just to see what happens.
"Come at me bro..."
:sarcastic:
FromMyColdDeadHand
04-03-15, 03:39
Sandals and socks are comfortable and my only affliction.
I noticed my 10 year old son and his friends will do the faux hand gang signs. They are literally the last kids who should be doing that. I also notice kids 'monologuing' while they play video games because they have watched you-tube videos of other kids playing and talking about the game. That was a new one.
Moose-Knuckle
04-03-15, 04:38
Let's not the forget the newest douchebag accessory for this year, the selfie stick! The perfect addition to any D-Bag's effeminate bedazzled jeans and straight bill ball caps.
I'm in my thirties and I see dude's in their fifties and sixties try to be hip and where that shit, I wouldn't be caught dead wearing any of it as my family taught me about shame.
As a pipe/cigar/hookah smoker I laugh at the vape idiots. I see them all the time out in public acting like they are doing something SO different, everyone I have ever seen vape fall right into the D-Bag category of attention whores.
jdavis6576
04-03-15, 06:44
http://i706.photobucket.com/albums/ww65/jdavis6576/image.jpg1_zpsapfvbubj.jpg
;)
You are forgetting the ED Hardy t-shirt and/or ball cap.
My god I live in the land of the douchebag...
It's like Day of the Dead except they are not pale, they are spray tanned, and instead of snaring they are all doing the duck face!
Averageman
04-03-15, 07:26
Is New Jersey the epicenter for Douche Gear?
Just a casual observation.
Is New Jersey the epicenter for Douche Gear?
Just a casual observation.
I think it is...
PatrioticDisorder
04-03-15, 08:08
Perfect list, not much to add to that.
You forgot white framed sunglasses
What about leather sandals and white sox? [emoji54]
Dreads on white guys.
Douch bag extraordinaire...
Let's not the forget the newest douchebag accessory for this year, the selfie stick! The perfect addition to any D-Bag's effeminate bedazzled jeans and straight bill ball caps.
I'm in my thirties and I see dude's in their fifties and sixties try to be hip and where that shit, I wouldn't be caught dead wearing any of it as my family taught me about shame.
As a pipe/cigar/hookah smoker I laugh at the vape idiots. I see them all the time out in public acting like they are doing something SO different, everyone I have ever seen vape fall right into the D-Bag category of attention whores.
This item should have been on the list.
Wearing a ball cap sideways for that extra je ne sais quoi of douche.
Hip is just another word for: Shallow!
If one really cares to be outstanding, be yourself...no frippery required.
Neck and face tattoos skyrocket you into douche baggery - PRONTO!
I like it! Just seems all but the last are so 2012 or before though. Maybe there's just not enough developments in the Douche development area? Low pants are so 90s and steroids so 80s! :cool:
So you are saying that all the free t-shirts I own from various events, my khaki cargo shorts and my Birkenstock sandals are not in style this summer?
Off to the store I go.
I wouldnt even know where to go to purchase said items to make me "fit in". Can anyone enlighten me?
I'm a crocs n socks kinda guy. Suck it!
Skinny jeans if you are not female... They seem to commonly found in combination with many of the already mentioned attributes. Never mind reinforcement of the fact that the wearer does not even lift.
SilverBullet432
04-03-15, 12:46
Lets not forget the other douche gear:
1. Salmon shorts.
2. Sperry's
3. Button up with said pink shorts
And theres also the tactiqueer douche bags.
Arcteryx
Under armor
5.11 :sarcastic:
SilverBullet432,
Funny you should mention that, as I wouldn't be caught dead wearing any of that stuff either, but then I'm an ardent long distance cyclist and you won't catch me in the Lance Armstong wannabe apparel either.
Bandwagon wear isn't for me...
Ok, I guess my doucheness runs shallow. What the heck is a selfie stick?
Remember back in the 80s when the worst thing we had to make fun of was "preppies"?
SomeOtherGuy
04-03-15, 13:11
Ok, I guess my doucheness runs shallow. What the heck is a selfie stick?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Selfie_stick
Just what the name implies.
WickedWillis
04-03-15, 13:31
Nicely done. The Affliction/Tap Out shirts are still popular around my part of Eastern WA. It takes most of my inner strength not to say "I see you're wearing a Tap Out shirt, I too like to fight. Shall we do this here or outside?" Just to see what happens.
Yes they are. Go out to Northern Quest in Spokane and the damn place looks like an mma gym for overweight 40-year olds. That is part of the Spokane charm though, everyone is tough as ****.
[/url]
Just what the name implies.
You sure? :cool:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G2y8Sx4B2Sk
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Selfie_stick
Just what the name implies.
Never saw or heard of that one before, must be a West Coast thing. >Thanks.
Why would anyone walk around with one of those things?
If you wear a tee shirt declaring how tough you are, you're not....
Tough guys don't need advertisement.
My Uncle was a welter weight pro boxer and my Dad was a sparring partner for middle weight pros. My Dad wasn't as good as my Uncle, but he was still very good, especially against the average brawler without training. As a little kid, I saw him kick the living shit out of guys with 6" of height and 50 lbs of weight over him. He was fearsome in a fight. It was kinda scary as a little kid to see him in action outside the ring.
To look at either was to think they were just average working stiffs, which they were, but woe to you if decided to fight either...
FromMyColdDeadHand
04-03-15, 14:05
Remember back in the 80s when the worst thing we had to make fun of was "preppies"?
or 'skids' ala Breakfast Club.
Selfie stick = Maximum Narcissism
Selfie stick = Maximum Narcissism
http://i907.photobucket.com/albums/ac279/jaxman7/heres_looking_at_you_obama.0_zpsu0djqn63.gif (http://s907.photobucket.com/user/jaxman7/media/heres_looking_at_you_obama.0_zpsu0djqn63.gif.html)
-Jax
sevenhelmet
04-03-15, 14:40
^King of Douchebags. Found.
Voodoochild
04-03-15, 14:54
The guy wearing the affliction shirt I would not mess with. Other than that yeah I agree on the affliction/tap out shirts.
SilverBullet432
04-03-15, 15:07
SilverBullet432,
Funny you should mention that, as I wouldn't be caught dead wearing any of that stuff either, but then I'm an ardent long distance cyclist and you won't catch me in the Lance Armstong wannabe apparel either.
Bandwagon wear isn't for me...
Its all "fad" lol. Back in high school the ed hardy craze was pretty strong. Over priced crap. All the dbags follow the crowd. Sheeple gonna sheep. These days its expensive jackets and $3000 ARs. :sarcastic:
SomeOtherGuy
04-03-15, 15:58
Never saw or heard of that one before, must be a West Coast thing. >Thanks.
Why would anyone walk around with one of those things?
In real life I've only ever seen them used by female tourists. Not trying to stereotype, just my personal observation.
You would carry one around because you think it's cool and important to take selfies and post them on failbook (etc.). I don't own one, and I doubt many people who read m4c do.
yup :) he can wear it or any other world class guy :)
its like the wanabee spec ops guys wearing oakley and beards with hats sometimes you can just tell who is real and who is not :)
The guy wearing the affliction shirt I would not mess with. Other than that yeah I agree on the affliction/tap out shirts.
good list and funny for sure :)
Maybe its just an Az thing but the Bro-dozer needs to be on there.
WickedWillis
04-03-15, 16:37
My pet peeves and contributions to this thread that are rampant in my area;
Put down your freaking tow mirrors douche.
32515
If you want stacks, buy a semi.
32516
never heard that term yet ;) hahahahaha
mall cruisers :)
there was a dude in one of those out at some 4x4 place he could not make it up any of the climbs :)
Maybe its just an Az thing but the Bro-dozer needs to be on there.
mkmckinley
04-03-15, 16:56
You should add "Harley Davidson logo on anything that's not a motorcycle" to your list. Seriously just saw a dude mean mugging people at the coffee shop today who had the HD bandana and the HD leather jacket left unzipped to reveal the HD t-shirt underneath. To do list... Saturday: "Use Norelco Multigroom on goatee then take fat ugly wife to glare at the people in Starbucks." Guess what dude, real bikers are too busy smuggling meth and getting AN tats to worry about matching Genuine Harley DavidsonŠ shit and they don't hang out at fast food restaurants!
My pet peeves and contributions to this thread that are rampant in my area;
Put down your freaking tow mirrors douche.
32515
If you want stacks, buy a semi.
32516
I hate stacks on trucks. It's the first sign of a small penis imo.
I hate stacks on trucks. It's the first sign of a small penis imo.
Can't stand the stacks either. I have no problem with diesel trucks as they are work horses and serve a purpose to those that need one. BUT, the douche bags that think it's funny to smoke you and your family out at a stop light f**cking pisses me off!!
And don't forget about the truck nuts hanging from the trailer hitch to go along with that small penis compensation.
cougar_guy04
04-03-15, 17:41
My pet peeves and contributions to this thread that are rampant in my area;
Put down your freaking tow mirrors douche.
32515
If you want stacks, buy a semi.
32516
Yeah, when I was living in Florida I was convinced that it would be impossible to buy a used truck in stock form (especially if it was a diesel). Oh yeah, almost a gurantee that if a truck has that sweet lift kit, it'll also be riding on bald, low-pro "off road" tires.
32517
hahahaha or wearing SOA shirts :)
although justified kinda makes me want a stetson or a hipster hat :) hahahahahahaha
OK not really just saying that cause of the recent episode those that watch it know
You should add "Harley Davidson logo on anything that's not a motorcycle" to your list. Seriously just saw a dude mean mugging people at the coffee shop today who had the HD bandana and the HD leather jacket left unzipped to reveal the HD t-shirt underneath. To do list... Saturday: "Use Norelco Multigroom on goatee then take fat ugly wife to glare at the people in Starbucks." Guess what dude, real bikers are too busy smuggling meth and getting AN tats to worry about matching Genuine Harley DavidsonŠ shit and they don't hang out at fast food restaurants!
BUT good thing is you know its never been taken off road and only driven slow around cruising spots and the mall :)
worst clean up would be the spilled beer and puke in the bed :)
Yeah, when I was living in Florida I was convinced that it would be impossible to buy a used truck in stock form (especially if it was a diesel). Oh yeah, almost a gurantee that if a truck has that sweet lift kit, it'll also be riding on bald, low-pro "off road" tires.
32517
never heard that term yet ;) hahahahaha
mall cruisers :)
there was a dude in one of those out at some 4x4 place he could not make it up any of the climbs :)
To me the Mall Crawlers are the guys with thousands of dollars into their Jeep that has never seen dirt.
Bro-dozers are the lifted trucks that also have never seen dirt.
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=brodozer
Basically the same thing though.
WickedWillis
04-03-15, 17:53
hahahaha or wearing SOA shirts :)
although justified kinda makes me want a stetson or a hipster hat :) hahahahahahaha
OK not really just saying that cause of the recent episode those that watch it know
I have two SOA sweatshirts I wear that my dad got me off the set when he worked on it lol
Nicely done. The Affliction/Tap Out shirts are still popular around my part of Eastern WA. It takes most of my inner strength not to say "I see you're wearing a Tap Out shirt, I too like to fight. Shall we do this here or outside?" Just to see what happens.
Don't. You'll get douche all over yourself and that shit stains and never comes out of jeans.
Though on a related note, some of those MMA wannabes scream like girls when they do manage to get into a fight and find out that tapping out doesn't mean shit when you are in a real fight and being beaten like a rented mule because you decided to **** with the guys who politely told you not to **** them them.
NFL jerseys are no different than Affliction/Tap Out gear in most cases. Some old fat ****, ex-jock, with an asshole attitude, armchair QB'ing the Sunday game when he never amounted to shit on his high school team in the first place.
NFL jerseys are no different than Affliction/Tap Out gear in most cases. Some old fat ****, ex-jock, with an asshole attitude, armchair QB'ing the Sunday game when he never amounted to shit on his high school team in the first place.
Especially Broncos jerseys ;)
WickedWillis
04-03-15, 18:18
Especially Broncos jerseys ;)
What about people with Broncos tattoos?........Asking for a friend......
There are too many types of douche bags in existence right now, this is the usual type I run across, spoiled kid who won't accomplish anything with his life, Bieber types
32518
And theres also the tactiqueer douche bags.
Arcteryx
Under armor
5.11 :sarcastic:
Under armour? I own so many under armor shirts (polos, and 3/4 baseball shirts), they may be cheesy to some but to others they're breathable, UV protection for the Arizona weather, the best thing I've found 110°. I may not own any of the tacticool stuff that UA puts out. They're one of the only brands I buy. Plus the don't fade some of my polos I've own for at least 5 years wear at least least once a week and still look as good as the day I bought them.
WickedWillis
04-03-15, 18:50
Under armour? I own so many under armor shirts (polos, and 3/4 baseball shirts), they may be cheesy to some but to others they're breathable, UV protection for the Arizona weather, the best thing I've found 110°. I may not own any of the tacticool stuff that UA puts out. They're one of the only brands I buy. Plus the don't fade some of my polos I've own for at least 5 years wear at least least once a week and still look as good as the day I bought them.
I wear their t-shirts daily because they fit amazing. None of the tight compression stuff though, because I would look like I am smuggling tires. They make fantastic breathable fabric.
I wear their t-shirts daily because they fit amazing. None of the tight compression stuff though, because I would look like I am smuggling tires. They make fantastic breathable fabric.
Exactly, I don't wear the compression stuff either. They're the best stuff I can find.
UA stuff is pretty awesome, but it collects pet hair like a magnet.
What about people with Broncos tattoos?........Asking for a friend......
hmm is it a tramp stamp? :jester:
SilverBullet432
04-03-15, 19:04
Yeah, when I was living in Florida I was convinced that it would be impossible to buy a used truck in stock form (especially if it was a diesel). Oh yeah, almost a gurantee that if a truck has that sweet lift kit, it'll also be riding on bald, low-pro "off road" tires.
32517
Dont get me started on "mudders"
Want to see real stupidity/douchebaggery? Look up f15dy boys.... :suicide:
This thread is great!
You think the vape douches are bad where you live; they are everywhere in CO! Either they think they're too cool for school smoking the vape in public, or they think they are getting away with something, I just don't get that shit.
Truck balls are about as douche as it gets, I saw one that was a cock and balls, the cock and balls being that of a Clydesdale horse. Was so awkward someone would want to have that.
The ones I can't stand are the bicyclists that look as if they are riding the tour de douche race in full gear. I get wearing appropriate attire; like the correct shorts to protect your junk and thighs; but I see guys dressed as matching teams riding through the park everyday and it is pathetic.
Another is those "smart" cars; that screams douche nozzle as loud as it can get. Nothing smart about driving one of those death traps- can you imagine getting hit by a large diesel truck in one of those things? Instant road kill.
Douchiest thing ever is having an Obama bumper sticker or one of those Hilary bumper stickers. I know you're a world class douche when I see that shit on your car.
This thread is great!
You think the vape douches are bad where you live; they are everywhere in CO! Either they think they're too cool for school smoking the vape in public, or they think they are getting away with something, I just don't get that shit.
Truck balls are about as douche as it gets, I saw one that was a cock and balls, the cock and balls being that of a Clydesdale horse. Was so awkward someone would want to have that.
The ones I can't stand are the bicyclists that look as if they are riding the tour de douche race in full gear. I get wearing appropriate attire; like the correct shorts to protect your junk and thighs; but I see guys dressed as matching teams riding through the park everyday and it is pathetic.
Another is those "smart" cars; that screams douche nozzle as loud as it can get. Nothing smart about driving one of those death traps- can you imagine getting hit by a large diesel truck in one of those things? Instant road kill.
Douchiest thing ever is having an Obama bumper sticker or one of those Hilary bumper stickers. I know you're a world class douche when I see that shit on your car.
I don't know if owning a smart car is douchey, suicidal maybe, but not sure if it qualifies as douche. Though I would not drive one on anything other than a golf cart path since I have seen more than a few crashes with them where the driver wasn't doing more than 35MPH rearended something and had to be life flighted out. The fact that I have been passed on the highway while I am doing 80mph by the little ****ers like I was standing still reinforces the concept that the owners are just suicidal.
Now bumper stickers... yep, 145% douchebag. The douchiest one I can think of was the dick with the, "yes I voted for obama. you can thank me later." sticker on the car. Two hours later the car looked like someone had taken a belt sander to the thing. Guess that was his thanks.
SilverBullet432
04-03-15, 19:47
Lol ive passed a few smarty cars in my semi. Scary shit you cant see the little boogers.
We have a group of local cyclists (around 45) that grace my community with their display of stupidity every summer, all summer. Their like a swarm of deranged honeybees in their matching spandex of fail.
if your dad worked on it :) I see the dudes wearing them in leather jackets types :)
we used to sell our crew shirts on the boats so someone can have a tshirt that said CREW on the front ? hahahahaha I guess that could be cool but you will never be crew member :)
I have two SOA sweatshirts I wear that my dad got me off the set when he worked on it lol
SeriousStudent
04-03-15, 21:28
.....
And don't forget about the truck nuts hanging from the trailer hitch to go along with that small penis compensation.
Ah, truck nuts.
There might have been a very annoying boss at the place where I work. And he might have had a Chevy Volt electric car with a hitch for a bicycle rack on the back.
Someone might have put truck nuts on that hitch. And since the guy always backed into the TWO PARKING SPOTS he used, he would not have seen the nuts.
But when his wife came out of church later that day after taking the car, her and her friends all saw them, and which resulted in great vengeance and furious anger.
Hypothetically speaking, that boss would be the bag which douches. Along with his incredibly poor parking practices.
Make that alleged parking practices.
Sounds like he hypothetically deserves a bag of dicks from SKD too.
Ah, truck nuts.
There might have been a very annoying boss at the place where I work. And he might have had a Chevy Volt electric car with a hitch for a bicycle rack on the back.
Someone might have put truck nuts on that hitch. And since the guy always backed into the TWO PARKING SPOTS he used, he would not have seen the nuts.
But when his wife came out of church later that day after taking the car, her and her friends all saw them, and which resulted in great vengeance and furious anger.
Hypothetically speaking, that boss would be the bag which douches. Along with his incredibly poor parking practices.
Make that alleged parking practices.
Damn it! April fools day is already over! THAT is funny stuff :lol: I'm going to remember that one.
Ear gauges/ear stretching... very douche...nuf said
Actually ETA: Makes me just want to rip the damn ear lobe off.
Ear gauges/ear stretching... very douche...nuf said
Actually ETA: Makes me just want to rip the damn ear lobe off.
I actually find that so disgusting I have asked for a check and left when a bunch of those tards sat at the next table.
someone posted this a while back on FB
http://redalertlive.com/body-modification-piercings-lip-plates/
since record stores are no longer that crowd now works at ikea or ??? not sure where
Phillygunguy
04-04-15, 01:00
The ones I can't stand are the bicyclists that look as if they are riding the tour de douche race in full gear. I get wearing appropriate attire; like the correct shorts to protect your junk and thighs; but I see guys dressed as matching teams riding through the park everyday and it is pathetic.
Oh god I can't stand those smug bike assholes, I see them all the time were they take up the whole road and back up traffic. Plus If you pass them they give you dirty looks too. God damn pussies
MorphCross
04-04-15, 01:07
someone posted this a while back on FB
http://redalertlive.com/body-modification-piercings-lip-plates/
since record stores are no longer that crowd now works at ikea or ??? not sure where
Customer service call centers, you don't have to see them or their gum line.
Phillygunguy
04-04-15, 01:13
While we're at it how about neck beards?
http://i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/facebook/000/519/423/b62.jpg
Moose-Knuckle
04-04-15, 01:46
You should add "Harley Davidson logo on anything that's not a motorcycle" to your list. Seriously just saw a dude mean mugging people at the coffee shop today who had the HD bandana and the HD leather jacket left unzipped to reveal the HD t-shirt underneath. To do list... Saturday: "Use Norelco Multigroom on goatee then take fat ugly wife to glare at the people in Starbucks." Guess what dude, real bikers are too busy smuggling meth and getting AN tats to worry about matching Genuine Harley DavidsonŠ shit and they don't hang out at fast food restaurants!
Yeah the Harley Davidson douche following is strong here. Guys that don't even ride have Harley boots, Harley t-shirts, Harley tats. Then you have the fair weather douche's that actually own a bike, ride a couple times a year, and have all matching Harley apparel outfits.
"We're bikers! Yeah! Grwwww!"
wonder if it effects there talking ? would it click against your teeth ?
maybe they work coffee shops to :) go to starbucks and you can have them tell you about your white privilege and educate you on race :)
Customer service call centers, you don't have to see them or their gum line.
Don't forget the hipsters and this years fad of the lumbersexual.
Rather than speak plain English, douches that employ jargon by starting every sentence with "Dude" and ending every sentence with "Awesome" regarding every thing that isn't...
Honestly, those who speak like this sound like undereducated dip shits.
Guys proudly displaying brand loyalty with immense logos of their favorite choice of (car/truck/sports team) plastered on their vehicles or wearing clothes that are essentially billboards completely oblivious they are a marketers dream dupe.
While we're at it how about neck beards?
http://i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/facebook/000/519/423/b62.jpg
I can't go a day without seeing a neck beard. It's like growing pubes on your chin. I just don't get it. :confused:
Don't forget the hipsters and this years fad of the lumbersexual.
My girlfriend introduced me to the lumber sexual craze when we were in Seattle a few weeks back when I stared at a guy who looked like a lumber jack but was skinny and clean. I've come to the realization that it's the pendulum going the opposite way of the early 2000s metrosexual. Same guys, same manicures and pedicures but now wearing Danner logging boots, selvedge/raw denim, flannel shirts, hipster glasses and beards. Seattle and Portland are great for people watching.
SilverBullet432
04-04-15, 12:54
Man that neck beard is disgusting. Never seen that before.
SilverBullet432
04-04-15, 12:59
Yeah the Harley Davidson douche following is strong here. Guys that don't even ride have Harley boots, Harley t-shirts, Harley tats. Then you have the fair weather douche's that actually own a bike, ride a couple times a year, and have all matching Harley apparel outfits.
"We're bikers! Yeah! Grwwww!"
There's alsp the duck dynasty douches. The camo crowd who wear camo everyday and have realtree stickers on their truck, but yet have never been hunting. Or if they do go, they show up smelling like abercrombie
My buddies and I have been making fun of these guys for a couple of years.
There's alsp the duck dynasty douches. The camo crowd who wear camo everyday and have realtree stickers on their truck, but yet have never been hunting. Or if they do go, they show up smelling like abercrombie
Phillygunguy
04-04-15, 14:58
I can't go a day without seeing a neck beard. It's like growing pubes on your chin. I just don't get it. :confused:
It's like prepubescent guys trying to be men and ain't cutting it.
There's alsp the duck dynasty douches. The camo crowd who wear camo everyday and have realtree stickers on their truck, but yet have never been hunting. Or if they do go, they show up smelling like abercrombie
The "urban camo crew" always reminds me of a joke from one of my favorite comedians, Mitch Hedberg.
"Wearing camo in the woods says: hey you cannot see me. Wearing camo in the city says: hey look at me I'm an asshole."
His delivery makes the joke so effing funny! Wish he was still around.
I think of that joke and chuckle every time I see guys in full camo in the city.
SilverBullet432
04-04-15, 18:18
Lets not forget the florida-georgia line, Jacked up tailgate truck queerbags..
I don't get it, but then again I don't judge others for how they look or how they dress.
My girlfriend introduced me to the lumber sexual craze when we were in Seattle a few weeks back when I stared at a guy who looked like a lumber jack but was skinny and clean. I've come to the realization that it's the pendulum going the opposite way of the early 2000s metrosexual. Same guys, same manicures and pedicures but now wearing Danner logging boots, selvedge/raw denim, flannel shirts, hipster glasses and beards. Seattle and Portland are great for people watching.
New one to me. Though it explains why I get hit on by all the college chicks because I have boots, jeans, and a wear worn jacket, smell like an actual man, and look like I could probably take one of the dicks you describe and use them to vigorously beat another to death. Good to know.
Now bumper stickers... yep, 145% douchebag. The douchiest one I can think of was the dick with the, "yes I voted for obama. you can thank me later." sticker on the car. Two hours later the car looked like someone had taken a belt sander to the thing. Guess that was his thanks.
I saw a f*ckn prius with this sticker on it today in fact.
https://farm9.staticflickr.com/8701/16850881189_c8880d67d1_t.jpg (https://flic.kr/p/rF4aUi)
I don't get it, but then again I don't judge others for how they look or how they dress.
I do it all the time.
Lacking any other evidence...
If a person dresses like a street thug, I assume they are a bad person.
If a person is wearing a military uniform, I assume they are a good person.
I may come to discover that the person in the first example is merely a fashion victim who is actually a nice guy, I may come to discover that the person in the second example is a disgrace to their uniform.
But I "prejudge" nearly every person I see and assess accordingly. I continue to judge as new information is made available to me.
It killed me, but I had to get glasses recently and the only pair that fit my face well were Tap Out brand. I guess that will teach me to go to Walmart. I made absolutely sure that there was no visible branding. They're just plain, black metal frames but I do feel like a douche every time I put them on. I even had to tell the lady, "I know they're a giant tool bag brand, but I have to go with these." Then again, I also have a very good friend with gauged ear lobes so maybe I'm actually just a douche.
Cincinnatus
04-05-15, 02:24
I do it all the time.
Lacking any other evidence...
If a person dresses like a street thug, I assume they are a bad person.
If a person is wearing a military uniform, I assume they are a good person.
I may come to discover that the person in the first example is merely a fashion victim who is actually a nice guy, I may come to discover that the person in the second example is a disgrace to their uniform.
But I "prejudge" nearly every person I see and assess accordingly. I continue to judge as new information is made available to me.
Clothes do make the man, much more than I would ever admit as a teenager.
vicious_cb
04-05-15, 02:32
Not really sure why sandal and socks is considered douchey. I guess you dont play any sports then. I go to and from the gym in socks and sandals, my basketball shoes go on only when Im on the court and taken off when I leave, any where I go immediately after the gym Im wearing socks and sandals. Same goes for people who play any indoor sports tennis, squash as well as any fields sports that require cleats.
Moose-Knuckle
04-05-15, 03:11
Not really sure why sandal and socks is considered douchey. I guess you dont play any sports then. I go to and from the gym in socks and sandals, my basketball shoes go on only when Im on the court and taken off when I leave, any where I go immediately after the gym Im wearing socks and sandals. Same goes for people who play any indoor sports tennis, squash as well as any fields sports that require cleats.
No that is cool, we're talking about douches who have never played a sport in their life and where such foot gear for everyday.
Maybe some of the douche/tough guy looks are really a sub genre of queer porn image, and we just don't recognize it.
Anybody here got a turtle neck shirt with Keltec printed on it? That garment would win first place in a bag contest.
"Douchey" is as much about the who, where, and how, as what it is about the item.
WickedWillis
04-06-15, 13:15
UA stuff is pretty awesome, but it collects pet hair like a magnet.
hmm is it a tramp stamp? :jester:
32580
not on lower back hahahaha
MountainRaven
04-06-15, 14:41
Wearing a ball cap sideways for that extra je ne sais quoi of douche.
Hip is just another word for: Shallow!
If one really cares to be outstanding, be yourself...no frippery required.
"[R]emember two things – in matters of principle, stand like a rock; in matters of taste, swim with the current."
-Thomas Jefferson
;)
brickboy240
04-06-15, 15:11
tribal tattoos, crazy goatees and those shirts with skulls and angels all over them are douchebag markers around here
ditto for those jeans with sequin designs on the back pockets....guys...those are for ladies! LOL
SilverBullet432
04-06-15, 15:15
Nothing screams douche like a popped collar ..
brickboy240
04-06-15, 15:20
...and yeah..unless you are on a boat or the beach...let's wear real shoes made for grown-ass men... ok guys?
Sandals are largely for chicks.
Bolt_Overide
04-06-15, 15:24
As a pipe/cigar/hookah smoker I laugh at the vape idiots. I see them all the time out in public acting like they are doing something SO different, everyone I have ever seen vape fall right into the D-Bag category of attention whores.
How very judgmental of you... I vape because it's a way to get the nicotine, I don't blow the shit in others faces, and I certainly dont use those horseshit mechanical mods that are more about looking cool.
Congratulations, you just sounded like a gun control moron talking about the rest of us.
How very judgmental of you... I vape because it's a way to get the nicotine, I don't blow the shit in others faces, and I certainly dont use those horseshit mechanical mods that are more about looking cool.
Congratulations, you just sounded like a gun control moron talking about the rest of us.
Or you could be an adult, and kick the nicotine habit.
WickedWillis
04-06-15, 15:42
Or you could be an adult, and kick the nicotine habit.
We all have our vices, I don't smoke or use tobacco products, but I also don't think that's really a fair statement.
maybe in your town :) go to Hawaii wear shoes you are a douche or a business guy going to work ! for sure some things are typical of location etc....
and rubber slippers are the norm so tell the 350 lb Samoan he is a girl cause chances are he is wearing what you would also call a skirt/dress :) ahahahahhahahahaha
here in AZ sandals such as teva or keen etc... are quite normal and quite comfy and why put your feet in shoes when one does not have to
...and yeah..unless you are on a boat or the beach...let's wear real shoes made for grown-ass men... ok guys?
Sandals are largely for chicks.
How very judgmental of you... I vape because it's a way to get the nicotine, I don't blow the shit in others faces, and I certainly dont use those horseshit mechanical mods that are more about looking cool.
Congratulations, you just sounded like a gun control moron talking about the rest of us.
If you aren't the kind of person we are discussing, then you aren't the kind of person we are discussing. I don't know why anyone would take this post very seriously, it's satire. And for anyone to compare people who suggest you kick the nicotine habit to "gun grabbers" is borderline stupid.
It's really not worth getting spun up about.
OH the whole tribal tattoo thing I agree with :)
when I see just random swirly things etc... I just shake my head and look for the stretched ears :) hahahahaha
have not seen crazy goatees ? have to google that can only imagine :)
skulls and angel shirts sound kinda like the tapout shirt was dirty :) ahahahahah
and any dude wearing a sequin jean must be a oh never mind :)
tribal tattoos, crazy goatees and those shirts with skulls and angels all over them are douchebag markers around here
ditto for those jeans with sequin designs on the back pockets....guys...those are for ladies! LOL
SilverBullet432
04-06-15, 16:07
maybe in your town :) go to Hawaii wear shoes you are a douche or a business guy going to work ! for sure some things are typical of location etc....
and rubber slippers are the norm so tell the 350 lb Samoan he is a girl cause chances are he is wearing what you would also call a skirt/dress :) ahahahahhahahahaha
here in AZ sandals such as teva or keen etc... are quite normal and quite comfy and why put your feet in shoes when one does not have to
You told me that story right?
Bolt_Overide
04-06-15, 20:14
If you aren't the kind of person we are discussing, then you aren't the kind of person we are discussing. I don't know why anyone would take this post very seriously, it's satire. And for anyone to compare people who suggest you kick the nicotine habit to "gun grabbers" is borderline stupid.
It's really not worth getting spun up about.
I disagree, it's about personal freedom. If I wish to vape, and it doesn't hurt others, that's my business. There really is no business between the two. Attacking a freedom is attacking a freedom. At what point is the line drawn where this freedom attacking is ok, and this is trivial?
Generally speaking Just because one has a right to do something doesn't mean everyone else doesn't have the right to point fingers at them and laugh for doing it if so desired. Goes hand in hand.
http://tapatalk.imageshack.com/v2/15/04/06/87f45ae6288ae21e2a0fde1b739b04c8.jpg
SeriousStudent
04-06-15, 21:17
Slow your draw, folks, and ease off the trigger finger.
Ain't nothing worth getting riled about in this thread, honestly.
If you aren't the kind of person we are discussing, then you aren't the kind of person we are discussing. I don't know why anyone would take this post very seriously, it's satire. And for anyone to compare people who suggest you kick the nicotine habit to "gun grabbers" is borderline stupid.
It's really not worth getting spun up about.
Oh, you must have forgotten that this is the internet. EVERYTHING is worth getting spun up about here.
For the other guy, no one is suggesting that any of this be banned, not even my toolbag glasses.
I disagree, it's about personal freedom. If I wish to vape, and it doesn't hurt others, that's my business. There really is no business between the two. Attacking a freedom is attacking a freedom. At what point is the line drawn where this freedom attacking is ok, and this is trivial?
Nobody is saying douche bags should be outlawed. That is the difference. If you want to sit in your living room blowing vape clouds while wearing tap out shirts and nike sandals with black socks, I'm not going to suggest it should be illegal. I'm just gonna laugh at you, that doesn't limit your freedom.
Somewhere on arfcom is a thread about Fudds, they are making fun of them, nobody is having their freedom limited.
Somewhere on another forum is a thread about tactical timmies, probably includes a lot of stuff I own, they are making fun of them, nobody is having their freedom limited.
Now if we started talking about legislating fauxhawks, tapout shirts, vapes, and flip flops with black socks THEN you'd have a point.
Slow your draw, folks, and ease off the trigger finger.
Ain't nothing worth getting riled about in this thread, honestly.
I'm gonna dig out some pics from my "breakin' days" and if anyone makes fun of the stupid shit I'm wearing I'm going to get very offended, demand they stop trying to limit my freedom and then report their post in hopes of getting them banned.
:sarcastic:
Bolt_Overide
04-07-15, 05:40
It's amazing how full of judgmental, hypocritical, holier than thou people this site is getting. I can see there is no reason to discuss this with you, you aren't capable of any sort of meaningful discussion.
The douchiest, I know that's not a word, thing I have ever seen was a Smart car all decked out in a Tap Out theme roll up to a local club and 2 guys get out wearing their Tap Out shirts, jeans and cowboy boots. I was driving by, saw this and about wrecked my truck laughing so hard!
I disagree, it's about personal freedom. If I wish to vape, and it doesn't hurt others, that's my business. There really is no business between the two. Attacking a freedom is attacking a freedom. At what point is the line drawn where this freedom attacking is ok, and this is trivial?
Brochacho, take the advice in your sigline.
Settle down, back away from the computer and take a big vape to calm the nerves.
This thread is all in good fun.
x2. Humor is the cause of the day.
Moose-Knuckle
04-07-15, 08:51
How very judgmental of you...
Well hello pot, kettle here. ;)
I vape because it's a way to get the nicotine, I don't blow the shit in others faces, and I certainly dont use those horseshit mechanical mods that are more about looking cool.
Then why take offense?
Because that is exactly the type of vaping were discussing here, the douches that do it out in public with the latest USB ported thing-a-ma-jig with there fellow douches to look cool. There is a reason why hookah lounges and cigar bars have their place. The last time I smoked a pipe in public was a pub that allowed it, I can't even begin to tell you the amount of compliments I received from fellow patrons about the pleasant aroma and the general "cool factor" of pipe smoking. I'm the life of the party when I bust out my large Mya hookah at social gatherings in private homes.
Congratulations, you just sounded like a gun control moron talking about the rest of us.
And congratulations to you sir for sounding like the typical Obama voter with your rant.
SilverBullet432
04-07-15, 09:55
I can feel the red loctite coming soon....
The "urban camo crew" always reminds me of a joke from one of my favorite comedians, Mitch Hedberg.
"Wearing camo in the woods says: hey you cannot see me. Wearing camo in the city says: hey look at me I'm an asshole."
His delivery makes the joke so effing funny! Wish he was still around.
I think of that joke and chuckle every time I see guys in full camo in the city.
Wonder what wearing the camo pattern du jour at the range means?
sevenhelmet
04-07-15, 10:20
What about "urban camo"?
brickboy240
04-07-15, 10:25
Ok...obviously those guys wearing sandals in AZ or HI....I was not directing that at you. Obviously your locale dictates sandals. Hello!
Around here...sandals just mean your feet are going to get eaten alive by fire ants or mosquitoes. YMMV
Nope..nobody is trying to say you cannot or should not wear certain things. We also do not want you to stop wearing whatever you want or tribal tattooing yourselves from head to toe if it makes you happy.
HOWEVER....you do not have the right to never have others think your appearance choices are...well...douche-like! LOL
You are also free to think me or others dress like douches. I am quite sure that my Wrangler jeans would get a laugh in HI or CA. In TX however...they are normal.
Want to vape or smoke? Again...I could care less. You should have to right to make bad health choices as long as I don't have to pay for them. Smoke away! Dry out a horse turd and smoke that if it makes you happy.
Judgemental: One of the left's beloved, gooey words.
Being Judgemental means you simply have the ability to discern a good cause of action - not an indictment of character...
ramairthree
04-07-15, 12:07
I am guilty of some offenses.
In the 80s I wore black Gargoyles, then Blades in the 90s, and now whatever the best deal is on the issue Oakleys.
In the early 90s I started wearing Tevas (no socks). I agree it is nice not to wear shoes when you don't have to.
I have never had a tap out or affliction shirt, but had a No Fear shirt in the early 90s.
My biggest offense? 5.11 pants.
I did some training and some work with a group in the late 90s. They were Royal Robbins pants then. You almost never saw them. I was flying home from Argentina or Colombia in the late 90s and a guy at the airport had them. Not too long after 9/11/01 I started seeing them more and more. I am so used to the fit and layout I still like them. They are like jeans to me.
As each year of age and injuries brings me closer to looking like LAV instead of Rambo, I guess I must look more ridiculous each year.
It's amazing how full of judgmental, hypocritical, holier than thou people this site is getting. I can see there is no reason to discuss this with you, you aren't capable of any sort of meaningful discussion.
If that is what you took from my post then you are correct, meaningful discussion isn't possible.
WOW.
brickboy240
04-07-15, 14:17
Umm...I don't think 5.11 pants and Oakleys qualify as "douche wear" unless you are wearing those chrome, flashy Oakleys! LOL
If you identified with anything in this thread and took it too seriously you may be a douche.
OH no worries know its not directed at me at all :)
so all good :)
but whats funny is when shark bait (white tourists) come out on the boats and fail to put sun block on there feet and wear sandals :) ahhaahahahhaha OH you can imagine having the tops of your feet fried
whats even better is when you say HEY put suntan lotion on those and they reply I am from California I dont need to ?
guess being a cali prick makes you immune to sunburn :)
it is funny if you can get some gullible enough to go ask that dude why he is wearing a skirt though and they do :)
from what I have seen a good friendly back slap or friendly punch in the arm from a 350 lb local looks like it hurts the couple times we got people to ask :) ahahahahha
Ok...obviously those guys wearing sandals in AZ or HI....I was not directing that at you. Obviously your locale dictates sandals. Hello!
Around here...sandals just mean your feet are going to get eaten alive by fire ants or mosquitoes. YMMV
Nope..nobody is trying to say you cannot or should not wear certain things. We also do not want you to stop wearing whatever you want or tribal tattooing yourselves from head to toe if it makes you happy.
HOWEVER....you do not have the right to never have others think your appearance choices are...well...douche-like! LOL
You are also free to think me or others dress like douches. I am quite sure that my Wrangler jeans would get a laugh in HI or CA. In TX however...they are normal.
Want to vape or smoke? Again...I could care less. You should have to right to make bad health choices as long as I don't have to pay for them. Smoke away! Dry out a horse turd and smoke that if it makes you happy.
Umm...I don't think 5.11 pants and Oakleys qualify as "douche wear" unless you are wearing those chrome, flashy Oakleys! LOL
I pretty much wear 5.11 everything. It's not so much I'm trying to look like a "operator dude" so much as I can buy it wholesale. So that means I have a choice, I can buy pants and polos from Wal Mart which are crap quality or I can buy pants and polos from my suppliers for about the same price and have better quality pants and polos.
I also have a ton of BDU shorts for the same reason. If people want to make fun of how I dress that is fine. I try not to live my life worried about things like my clothes public approval. The fact that 5.11s and BDUs have pockets for all my crap is a bonus.
If it takes a gallon of hair gel to style your hair each morning, you might be a douche.
Umm...I don't think 5.11 pants and Oakleys qualify as "douche wear" unless you are wearing those chrome, flashy Oakleys! LOL
Mainly the white frame ones.
SeriousStudent
04-07-15, 22:42
I can feel the red loctite coming soon....
You're psychic.
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