Rants you are proud of. (The less work, school, family friendly the better)

[ramairthree]

For a laugh inducing exercise,
Please post your favorite rants.

I had gone to the GD Section of TOS to look for a funny post a buddy told me about.

There was a post about the EPA about to crack down on classic cars, performance parts, etc.

After finishing a string of night work, then having been up all day to reset my schedule,
And having a few beverages to relax before bed,
I was not in the mood for it.

"They can FOAD.

I spend almost almost 30 years of my life in Ranger Bn and other SOF units with years of my life away from family, supposedly defending freedom and the American way of life.

But WTF is the Amercia I grew up in and wanted to enjoy now?

Now I can spend the rest of my life surrounded by man hating bitches ****ing up the schools, skinny jean wearing beta ball jugglers wanting me to pay for their MFA degrees,

The literal ****ing soul taxed out of me to pay for FSA worthless, un redeemable pieces of shit.

With SJWs working to move the criminals into my nice area on section 8.

With even more cock suckers trying to import un-asinimable Somalis and other America hating Muslims into the country. Fully knowing and with evidence in other countries that they will rape, kill, jack stuff up, and soak up more benefits to pay for.

As I save the environment using natural leather and shit and keeping four classic cars out of the landfills and buying American worker made products to keep them running,
self righteous vegan Prius hybrid driving dick smacks trash the ecosystem with their cars that actually put more pollution to generate power and make and dispose of batteries and substitute high environmental impact products for stuff that could be made out of leather.

As all sorts of groups band together to take our guns so we can't defend against the criminals and will not be able to resist when they drop their end game on us.

And they want so I can't even enjoy a ride in a piece of American history?

As those pussies snicker at kicking our kids out of school for wearing a flag?

I was running around on target at night hitting objectives with men half my age up until not that many years ago. For what?

Wel then,
Here is my double middle fingers raised to you with my pants down so you can kiss my ass while I teabag your girlfriend's ugly face before she dumps you for her Womyn's Studies Professor.

Molon ****ing Labe Mother ****ers while I drive away in this with a belt, front seat, and truck filled to the ****ing brim with guns and ammo.

I will repaint that car in the same colors with leaded ****ing paint as I install AC and charge it with R 12 and I spray DDT to keep the mosquitos away in their God Damned yard.

While Eagles, horses, dogs, my kids, and ****ing freedom are partying down back at my place.



http://i649.photobucket.com/albums/uu220/ramairfour/JAVELIN/DSCN4511.jpg (http://s649.photobucket.com/user/ramairfour/media/JAVELIN/DSCN4511.jpg.html)"



I hope to enjoy some of your entertaining rants.

[Eurodriver]

This actually wasn't intended to be funny at all. But it's probably better left unsaid.

[26 Inf]

That was a pretty good rant right there. Not the best but a good solid 7 or 8.

[ramairthree]

The I hate rants rant,
Well played, but not funny enough.
6.7

[ColtSeavers]

I don't really remember my rants, they're too spur of thr moment and, like most dreams, fade in memory as time passes.

[Firefly]

I don't rant.

I'm just a bit petulant and snotty.

I think my biggest regret in life is not shamelessly telling every girl I ever knew I was madly in love with them, even if for only a moment

My biggest achievement, however, is telling a LOT of people to go fornicate themselves.

Not much pisses me off anymore.
My youth is gone.
My greatest years wasted on college, church, and ghetto work.
I can honestly say I haven't accomplished a damned thing. I put a lot of folks away. Big whoop.
I will have pain the entirety of my life. I've accepted it.

But really, not much pisses me off anymore. It's like swimming in a rainshower.

All I know is that I live in a world of SR25s, Vaporwave, kinky porn, all the movies and video games I could ever want online, Big Macs, and the women today. My god. Spagos, half blacks chicks with straight hair, and girls who either dress really well or really boyish.

I can listen to hours of music on MP3 in my truck. I can go pretty much anywhere.

20 years ago, a CD player was a big deal. Everybody still had cassette.

Girls 20 years ago were either too fat, too skinny, too blond, and all were too much work.

I mean...it's almost okay....ENCOURAGED..to shout loudly and clearly that one is a quiet poet of anarchy and misanthropy.

I am truly blessed. I'm so blessed to live in such a wondrous age. Yes, it is all going to shite. But we get to sink on the Titanic.

I'll likely never get to see the nuclear war I was promised. But a cancerous death hepped up on morphine in a declining Empire can be equally as satisfying as a blaze of glory.

A lucid dying dream. A thanatopsis of ideals.
So as my esteemed colleague, Euro, alluded to...

While fat gun store virgins are being fat and having cracker barrel debates over meaningless calibers and things they'll have no efficacy with; I shall take a page from Sir Richard Burton, that marvellous Wild Goose, and continue to enjoy myself and hope that what remains of my liver and bones be buried with full honors.

[Eurodriver]

Damn that was deep. And so true.

[Big A]

http://i649.photobucket.com/albums/uu220/ramairfour/JAVELIN/DSCN4511.jpg (http://s649.photobucket.com/user/ramairfour/media/JAVELIN/DSCN4511.jpg.html)"


That doesn't have an RAIII motor in it...

[Big A]

This actually wasn't intended to be funny at all. But it's probably better left unsaid.
Booo! Your post was awesome and on point.

[ramairthree]

Nope,
An AMC 360, built in late 1970 for the 1971 cars.

Later in 71 they were already getting lesser builds for coming EPA issues.

This however does.
The RAIIIs still made enough vacuum for assisted breaks, etc. vs the RAIV.
Although those are much sought after,
I would actually love to sang a 68 RAII.

http://i649.photobucket.com/albums/uu220/ramairfour/GTO%20Exterior/DSCN4095.jpg (http://s649.photobucket.com/user/ramairfour/media/GTO%20Exterior/DSCN4095.jpg.html)

[SteyrAUG]

One that comes to mind...

http://www.ar15.com/archive/topic.html?b=1&f=5&t=245947

Dear World...

**** you.

Why the arrogant American typical hostility? Well I'll tell you why.

I'm tired of being the bad guy. I'm tired of being blamed for everything that goes wrong. And I'm tired of being demonized for acting in my best self interest. And us being the designated "bad guy" is hardly a new thing.

It goes back to before we were even America.

The first US 'attrocity' was when we suppossedly showed up, kicked out or massacred all the Indians and Mexicans, took their shit and started us a country.

Well just a few problems with that.

First we didn't show up and start a white man / indian war. Before we got here there were all kinds of Indians (I call them Indians because I'm goddamn sick of the term "native American", If you are of Greek decent but born here you are a ****ing "native American.") some were benevolent and peaceful and some were warlike and hostile. We encountered both and treated them accordingly. If the white man never came here Indians would simply have continued to massacre other Indians. Hostile tribes ****ed with better armed European immigrants and LOST the ****ing war.

We bought the Louisiana Territory from France in 1803. Mexico gained independece from Spain in 1821 and claims former Spanish terrotory in the West. This was largly due to the fact that Spain was fighting a war with France which they lost in 1823. Border disputes erupt concerning who owns what regarding former French and Spanish terroritory and a war breaks out. Mexico LOST the ****ing war and much former Spanish territory as a result.

Next we hear about how the evil white man enslaved Africans and kidnapped them to America to build out country for us. Well BULLSHIT!

Africa invented slavery. Had the white man never gone to Africa there would have still been slavery there just wouldn't have been slaves in America. Africans tribes enslaved each other and SOLD or TRADED slaves to Americans. We did not kidnap slaves. The slave trade was slaves, tobacco and arms. We traded weapons to the Africans for slaves (the Africans wanted our weapons for their tribal wars which had been going on as long as there were Africans), the PURCHASED African slaves were brought to America to harvest tobacco (not build the ****ing country) and that tobacco went back to England where weapons were purchased from part of the proceeds to go to Africa for more slaves. So if you want to blame somebody for slavery, blame the Africans who enslaved their own countrymen and then traded them for arms so they could kill and enslave more of their own countrymen.

May not be popular but the best thing that happened to those Africans was ending up here. In Africa as slaves they probably would have ended up as soup. Couldn't have been fun to be a slave in America but it was a hell of a lot better than being a slave in Africa. Also not all blcks in America were slaves, many prominent black slave traders (the ones who enslaved and sold Africans) came to America and lived well and even attended American Universities.

Nobody bitches about the Civil War much because white people killed white people. Never mind the war was largely fought for black civil rights (but hardly gets the same credit as the 60s movement) and died wholesale. History and the world doesn't object to whites killing whites. They just wish people didn't know that it was the Republican Party of Lincoln that freed the slaves and fought a devastating war on behalf of blacks.

World War I was whites killing whites so nobody cares.

World War II was whites killing whites so mostly nobody cares, EXCEPT:

We dropped 2 atomic bombs on Japan. Oh the horror. Never mind this would actually save Japanese lives when compared to how many would be killed in a conventional invasion. Never mind that Japan started the war with us at Pearl Harbor and with the rest of the world in 1931. Never mind Japanese attrocities in Nanking and the Bataan Death March. We dropped bombs on them to end a war we didn't start. So we are the bad guys. Well **** you Japan.

Here is what would have happened if we didn't. North and South Japan just like Korea. If we didn't have the bomb and demonstrate a willingness to use it the US invasion of southern Japan at Kyushu would have been immediately followed by a communist Russian invasion of Northern Japan at Hokkiado. ONLY THE BOMB KEPT STALIN OUT OF JAPAN. So Japan can thank us for sparing them the fate of East Germany for the last 60 ****ing years. All at the bargain cost of Hiroshima and Nagasaki, we even let them keep their Emporer and we even played along that he wasn't directly involved in the war or war crimes.

Also France **** you. We bailed your ass out in 1944 and you gave us Vietnam and have been ****ing us ever since.

And now we are the evil bad guys fighting a Imperialist war in the middle east. Well again **** you. We didn't start the war those ****ers did. Ever since the Jews got dropped off en masse in Palestine ****ing arabs have been pissed. We didn't put them there, they ended up there because the United States didn't want them either and the UN (mostly the UK) had the lease to the land. So the arabs fought a war with the Jews and LOST. Had the Jews lost it would have been a different story but they won. So don't blame US for you guys losing your ****ing war. We didn't bitch to you when things went bad in Vietnam.

Because the Arabs lost their ****ing war they have been pissed since 1949. And because we choose to ally with whoever the **** we DECIDE to they started a war with US as well. It's been a war fought like little bitches who do hit and run type crap. They don't even have the balls that Japan had to be upfront about it. And on 9-11 it finally came to a head when mostly Saudi nationals flew planeloads of civilians into the WTC in one of the most despicable acts in human history.

It was then that Bush Jr. gave everyone fair warning. If you harbor, promote or provide for terrorism we are at war with YOU.

Apparantly Iraq didn't take us seriously and continued to harbor and fund terrorists and the THREAT of them providing chemical and bio weapons to terrorists groups was too great to ignore. SO WE DEALT WITH THEM ACCORDINGLY. Did they think we were ****ing kidding on 9-12 and wouldn't actually go there? The fact that there are terrorists in Iraq proves that they are a problem. Plain and simple if there weren't any terrorists in Iraq there wouldn't be any American troops there today. But we are the bad guys because we are doing exactly what we said we would do 3 years ago.

And to all you other Arab countries with terrorists in YOUR country you were warned 3 ****ing years ago and you may consider yourself on the list. You have had more than enough ****ing time to address the problem.

Oh and **** you.

[THCDDM4]

One that comes to mind...

http://www.ar15.com/archive/topic.html?b=1&f=5&t=245947

Dear World...

**** you.

Why the arrogant American typical hostility? Well I'll tell you why.

I'm tired of being the bad guy. I'm tired of being blamed for everything that goes wrong. And I'm tired of being demonized for acting in my best self interest. And us being the designated "bad guy" is hardly a new thing.

It goes back to before we were even America.

The first US 'attrocity' was when we suppossedly showed up, kicked out or massacred all the Indians and Mexicans, took their shit and started us a country.

Well just a few problems with that.

First we didn't show up and start a white man / indian war. Before we got here there were all kinds of Indians (I call them Indians because I'm goddamn sick of the term "native American", If you are of Greek decent but born here you are a ****ing "native American.") some were benevolent and peaceful and some were warlike and hostile. We encountered both and treated them accordingly. If the white man never came here Indians would simply have continued to massacre other Indians. Hostile tribes ****ed with better armed European immigrants and LOST the ****ing war.

We bought the Louisiana Territory from France in 1803. Mexico gained independece from Spain in 1821 and claims former Spanish terrotory in the West. This was largly due to the fact that Spain was fighting a war with France which they lost in 1823. Border disputes erupt concerning who owns what regarding former French and Spanish terroritory and a war breaks out. Mexico LOST the ****ing war and much former Spanish territory as a result.

Next we hear about how the evil white man enslaved Africans and kidnapped them to America to build out country for us. Well BULLSHIT!

Africa invented slavery. Had the white man never gone to Africa there would have still been slavery there just wouldn't have been slaves in America. Africans tribes enslaved each other and SOLD or TRADED slaves to Americans. We did not kidnap slaves. The slave trade was slaves, tobacco and arms. We traded weapons to the Africans for slaves (the Africans wanted our weapons for their tribal wars which had been going on as long as there were Africans), the PURCHASED African slaves were brought to America to harvest tobacco (not build the ****ing country) and that tobacco went back to England where weapons were purchased from part of the proceeds to go to Africa for more slaves. So if you want to blame somebody for slavery, blame the Africans who enslaved their own countrymen and then traded them for arms so they could kill and enslave more of their own countrymen.

May not be popular but the best thing that happened to those Africans was ending up here. In Africa as slaves they probably would have ended up as soup. Couldn't have been fun to be a slave in America but it was a hell of a lot better than being a slave in Africa. Also not all blcks in America were slaves, many prominent black slave traders (the ones who enslaved and sold Africans) came to America and lived well and even attended American Universities.

Nobody bitches about the Civil War much because white people killed white people. Never mind the war was largely fought for black civil rights (but hardly gets the same credit as the 60s movement) and died wholesale. History and the world doesn't object to whites killing whites. They just wish people didn't know that it was the Republican Party of Lincoln that freed the slaves and fought a devastating war on behalf of blacks.

World War I was whites killing whites so nobody cares.

World War II was whites killing whites so mostly nobody cares, EXCEPT:

We dropped 2 atomic bombs on Japan. Oh the horror. Never mind this would actually save Japanese lives when compared to how many would be killed in a conventional invasion. Never mind that Japan started the war with us at Pearl Harbor and with the rest of the world in 1931. Never mind Japanese attrocities in Nanking and the Bataan Death March. We dropped bombs on them to end a war we didn't start. So we are the bad guys. Well **** you Japan.

Here is what would have happened if we didn't. North and South Japan just like Korea. If we didn't have the bomb and demonstrate a willingness to use it the US invasion of southern Japan at Kyushu would have been immediately followed by a communist Russian invasion of Northern Japan at Hokkiado. ONLY THE BOMB KEPT STALIN OUT OF JAPAN. So Japan can thank us for sparing them the fate of East Germany for the last 60 ****ing years. All at the bargain cost of Hiroshima and Nagasaki, we even let them keep their Emporer and we even played along that he wasn't directly involved in the war or war crimes.

Also France **** you. We bailed your ass out in 1944 and you gave us Vietnam and have been ****ing us ever since.

And now we are the evil bad guys fighting a Imperialist war in the middle east. Well again **** you. We didn't start the war those ****ers did. Ever since the Jews got dropped off en masse in Palestine ****ing arabs have been pissed. We didn't put them there, they ended up there because the United States didn't want them either and the UN (mostly the UK) had the lease to the land. So the arabs fought a war with the Jews and LOST. Had the Jews lost it would have been a different story but they won. So don't blame US for you guys losing your ****ing war. We didn't bitch to you when things went bad in Vietnam.

Because the Arabs lost their ****ing war they have been pissed since 1949. And because we choose to ally with whoever the **** we DECIDE to they started a war with US as well. It's been a war fought like little bitches who do hit and run type crap. They don't even have the balls that Japan had to be upfront about it. And on 9-11 it finally came to a head when mostly Saudi nationals flew planeloads of civilians into the WTC in one of the most despicable acts in human history.

It was then that Bush Jr. gave everyone fair warning. If you harbor, promote or provide for terrorism we are at war with YOU.

Apparantly Iraq didn't take us seriously and continued to harbor and fund terrorists and the THREAT of them providing chemical and bio weapons to terrorists groups was too great to ignore. SO WE DEALT WITH THEM ACCORDINGLY. Did they think we were ****ing kidding on 9-12 and wouldn't actually go there? The fact that there are terrorists in Iraq proves that they are a problem. Plain and simple if there weren't any terrorists in Iraq there wouldn't be any American troops there today. But we are the bad guys because we are doing exactly what we said we would do 3 years ago.

And to all you other Arab countries with terrorists in YOUR country you were warned 3 ****ing years ago and you may consider yourself on the list. You have had more than enough ****ing time to address the problem.

Oh and **** you.

That is a beautiful wonderful rant right there! I imagine leftists heads exploding in the fashion of scanners when I read this.

Right ****ing on!