Little Red Riding Hood (Has a Gun)

[WillBrink]

In an interesting approach, the NRA has re written some classic children's stories to include firearms. For example:

Little Red Riding Hood (Has a Gun)

This was The Big Bad Wolf.

Taking Grandmother by surprise, the wolf easily pushed past her and into her cottage. Grandmother turned so she was face-to-face with the wolf inside her cottage.

“What big eyes you have,” Grandma gasped as she backed away.

“The better to see you with,” replied the wolf.

“What big ears you have,” She turned, with her back to the door.

“The better to hear you with,” the wolf said, coming ever closer.

“What big teeth you have!” Grandma said, as his fierce jaws came near.

“The better to eat you with!” the wolf threatened.

The wolf leaned in, jaws open wide, then stopped suddenly. Those big ears heard the unmistakable sound of a shotgun’s safety being clicked off. Those big eyes looked down and saw that grandma had a scattergun aimed right at him. He realized that Grandmother hadn’t been backing away from him; she had been moving towards her shotgun to protect herself and her home.

“I don't think I’ll be eaten today,” said Grandma, “and you won't be eating anyone again.”

Cont:

http://www.nrafamily.org/articles/2016/1/13/little-red-riding-hood-has-a-gun/

[Firefly]

"Dat wolf wuz muh cuzzin. He was goin to church and trying to fet his life together. Them old ladies didn't need to do all that. He dindu nuffin"


But this is fun.

Jack and Jill go up the hill to fetch a pail of water
They both arrive and see 10 guys saying "MFer you gots any loot?"
Jill was afraid. "But NOT TODAY!" Jack said as he drew down his Walther.
"Hey dog hey dog it ain't like that. Dey 10 of us whatcha gonna do?"

"Start killing bodies, starting with you.


And the newspapers called it the Hilltop Massacre, and after three years Jack was acquitted but to Jill, he was committed, and had no regrets.

And now they piece their lives together again. Trying to keep Jacks violent history a total mystery to their ew neighbors and friends.

[Alex V]

Jack be nimble. Jack be quick. Jack shot himself in the dick, because he appendix carried with a shitty holster.

His is fun!

[Honu]

hear the wolfs sista now !!!

howz els is dat wolf gona eat !

[MegademiC]

There was an old lady who lived in a shoe,

She's always packing, what homeboy gonna do?

How he get his money?

[Moose-Knuckle]

I can see how the soccer mom crowd will cringe but honestly I like it and will have to save these for my son when he is old enough.

Disney has sugar coated fairy tales, if you ever read the real Grimm's Fairy Tales in which a large portion of their classics are based upon they are dark and demented.


"If you want your children to be intelligent, read them fairy tales. If you want them to be very intelligent, read them more fairy tales." — Albert Einstein

[Benito]

This is pretty good, actually. It might resonate with people who have some sense of self-preservation, but the majority of people have had that socially engineered out of them (it would interfere with the Greater Good if people thought for themselves, you see).

Your guys' comments are hilarious though, lol. How dat wolf gon' get hiz meat, yo? Anti-wolf racism. Wolf Lives Matter.