View Full Version : Scariest things some mope could hear....
While breaking into someone's house in the middle of the night.
Credit to this thread goes to member "Fledge"
I'll open with my ex-wife screeching about her PMS... :shout:
"So you been calling me 'Fledge', have ya?"
While partial credit goes to you for the thread title... it was fledge that suggested the new thread.
Frankly I am inclined to call you something else.... lol
Frankly I am inclined to call you something else.... lol
Unless it is something blasphemous, racist, sexist, ableist, and maybe borderline homoerotic.....and funny, like ha ha funny. I probably wouldn't want to hear it.
Besides you broke into my house. If I were going to break into your house, I'd call first. Maybe bring over soda pops. Maybe some KFC.
I'm classy that way
I prefer Popeyes... and PBR. Not too expensive to the guest... cuz I'm classy that way. :sarcastic:
Actually, I'm no joke a Popeyes guy too but most people are into KFC.
But back on point to One Liner spouting to mopes home invading before they gotta die.
"Hey Honey, I've found another one to sacrifice for the black mass tonight."
If only I could come up with something clever in a "Clint Eastwood as William Munny" voice.
"You can kill the last one honey- we have a new subject to experiment with"
Music box, little girl laughing, and adult man groaning in pain?
Leaveammoforme
04-04-16, 16:33
Release the attack rabbits.
"Shhick-chhick"
"ZZZZZZzzziiiiP"
Doc Safari
04-04-16, 16:46
"Looks like I'll have a pair of nuts for my truck bumper after all."
Inkslinger
04-04-16, 17:58
As light a sleeper as I am, there's a pretty good chance they wouldn't hear a thing. In the spirit of the thread though....http://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20160404/a80660e9f896acf22757b186cc660bf1.jpg
The sound of the door locking behind him/her/them followed by the laughter of a giddy clown.
(Subscribed to read Firefly).
Call Zed....and go wake up the Gimp.
WickedWillis
04-04-16, 18:45
let's hope your ass likes fisting more than the others did.
Deliverance dueling banjos
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Call Zed....and go wake up the Gimp.
http://sd.keepcalm-o-matic.co.uk/i-w600/keep-calm-and-go-get-the-gimp.jpg
Dont kill him!..... I know a guy who pays cash for people
MountainRaven
04-04-16, 20:10
"Oo, another toy! Honey, grab my handcuffs and the lube! I hope this one has a prettier mouth than the last one."
And since just copy-pasting that one and posting it will make me feel lazy:
Is the bathtub still filled with ice? Good! I think we've got another set of kidneys to sell....
Beat me to it Fjallhrafn: 'Are you a donor?'
Looks like the spider caught himself some flies...
gunrunner505
04-04-16, 22:14
The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides with the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men......
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Very serious voice: "I regret to inform you that you have made a fatal error in the victim selection process…" Boom boom…….. boom.
http://cdn.meme.am/instances/500x/60766352.jpg
"You've got a purddy mouth!"
"Kick the tires and light the fires, we've got fresh meat boys!"
"Spread them cheeks boy! Daddy's coming in for a landing!"
"C*ck-meat sandwich, it's what's for dinner!"
"Dammit, I told them a scout costume not the hamburglar."
It may not be the first thing but I have decided on the last or at least penultimate thing they'll hear...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cnPlJxet_ac
Oh, you can stop paddling, boy. That banjo music was coming from here...
Welcome brother! Have you heard the story of our Lord and Savior?
I think this one suits me best.
"I have existed from the morning of the world and I shall exist until the last star falls from the night. Although I have taken the form of Gaius AUG, I am all men as I am no man and therefore I am a God."
"Go ahead, skin that smokewagon, see what happens."
"Jim Bob, we having supper early tonight! YEEE-HAWW!"
"Thunderdome b*tch!"
"Hello Clarice.."
Moose-Knuckle
04-05-16, 02:03
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fOG-JGtdAGI
remember we need him alive when we harvest the organs !!!
The sound of the door locking behind him/her/them followed by the laughter of a giddy clown.
Considering that I am re-reading "It".
"They all float down here".
Averageman
04-05-16, 08:22
Son, If you ever wondered what you life was worth, well, you're about to find out.
Happy Halloween ladies....
Blalalalalalllaaallll
ETA...
http://youtu.be/j0YIhJn1Zck
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Dinner is served!!! [emoji48]
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"You just chose the wrong house.":)
Dist. Expert 26
04-05-16, 10:30
"Turn around and open your mouth"
Eurodriver
04-05-16, 11:57
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=17QCQpbQioA
"You just chose the wrong house.":)
"You broke into the wrong goddamn rec room!"
FIFY
Me clearing out last nights cheap Mexican food....
ColtSeavers
04-05-16, 12:56
Thanks for poppin' in for another Nut'n'Fancy experience. Today, we're going to be going over home defense training and techniques...
ColtSeavers
04-05-16, 13:40
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J4j_GffcGsQ
ColtSeavers
04-05-16, 13:41
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tdbt-sx5MDc
"I believes ya, but my Tommy gun don't!"
The Predator cackle followed by a whispered "Over here"
ColtSeavers
04-05-16, 18:28
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OwGzCGa3l2E
WickedWillis
04-05-16, 18:29
*ziiiip.....thud
ColtSeavers
04-05-16, 18:35
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=16_QpkQKm5A
ColtSeavers
04-05-16, 18:49
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dSSIdhQWmyg
https://youtu.be/E6K9zK9ZWSg
Found on IG.
http://i1291.photobucket.com/albums/b556/fledge2000/humor/30E1469B-9CB4-4243-B825-A05CCECEF0DB.png_zpsberuitco.jpeg (http://s1291.photobucket.com/user/fledge2000/media/humor/30E1469B-9CB4-4243-B825-A05CCECEF0DB.png_zpsberuitco.jpeg.html)
http://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20160406/3d215f02acce9bd547ee1478b07c6183.jpg
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BuzzinSATX
04-06-16, 08:21
The low, guttural growl of a pair of Dobies/Rotties/GSD's et al, ten feet away, with eyes locked on their new 'chew toy'
Take Care,
Buzz
The amout of homoerotic threats in this thread is astonishing.
Remind me to bring disposable mags to the next class I attend with about 70% of you guys.
That said....
To thy Mope..
"...call it. Heads or tails." No country for old men. Need to work on my accent. I'd love to be able to work in "an ATM" at some point in the comversation with a puzzled look.
"If the road you followed brought you to this, of what use was the road?"
http://youtu.be/_-d1S79zt8c
"Break yosef fool!!"
"Sterben Sie Mope!!!!!!..... Feuer Frei!!!"
"Choose! Death or Chee Chee!"
A panic button that plays the ball bat tapping in the bridge underpass from Inglorious Bastards real loud throughout the house would be epic.
Even better would be for this to play as your alarm siren via home audio speakers, with the exception that it be followed by Enter Sandman like how Metallica opened shows on the Black album tour....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g6tR78d0cmA
Still better than that, if I lived in a remote area and could keep the pyro's protected from weather I would rig the whole place up like Metallica does the stage when they play "One" in outdoor stadiums. With bangers loud enough to ring your bell within 75 yards..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WehVHuT9zik
I can only imagine the hilarity of the security cam video of a pack of Mopes tripping over themselves to get away from that; blasts, machine gun fire and helicopter passing over low sound.
I had a Dear Friend who passed who was from Argentina. He sounded identical to Bardem. I mean identical. I would have loved to seen him as a constible for no other reason but to be the guy who walks up to the driver on a traffic stop and say "I'm gonna need you to step out of the car."
gunrunner505
04-06-16, 18:12
Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya. You broke into my house. Prepare to die.
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"Mope?....Moape?...Is that you?.....Moape?....Come out, come out wherever you are...I ain't no white trash POS, I'm better than you alllll....I can out-learn you....I can out-read you...I can out-think you.....and I can out-philosophize you...and I'm gonna outlast you...You think a couple whacks to my good ole boy gut will get me down?....It's gonna take a hell of a lot more than that Mope to prove you're better than me!.......
I AM LIKE GOD AND GOD LIKE ME!!!...I AM AS LARGE AS GOD...HE IS AS SMALL AS I...HE CANNOT ABOVE ME NOR I BENEATH HIM BE!!!....SILESIUS 17TH CENTURY....
MOAPE....MOAPE???.....Could you be there?.....Could you be there?....(whistles come here)....(repeat whistle)....moape?...I wonder if you're here?...."
Seriously, all the great lines out there, and we have 7 pages of various bend-over Mopeisms.
Pretty much any line by Al of Deadwood. The same of Bricktop on Snatch.
But by far the best would be an adaptation of this, especially the threat made if anyone shoots at him....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KmhGYB4NdYc
Averageman
04-06-16, 18:48
"I think I might have Bed Bugs."?
"I think I might have Bed Bugs."?
You're soooo mean!
The door slamming shut of the door and it latching shut behind them followed by maniacal laughter and carnival music as the lights go out.
Grandpa fumbling with his 50 round Thompson drum magazine and Grandmother saying, "you ain't gonna shoot that bastard inside the house, are you?
The last thing Mr. Mope would hear is my Great Dane's "big girl" bark rattling the windows...
ColtSeavers
04-07-16, 13:24
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dU97w2DH5mc
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