stress life lessons learned at stage in our life

[Honu]

OK was thinking about this since I am going to watch 13 hours :) since it will piss me off most likely

my dad was a pilot in the air-force jet fighter pilot Korean war
very extreme guy now in his late 80s still takes out his Porsches and rips around etc... :)

we chat about todays events sometimes and he says don't let it get to you !
yet I remember him stressing about things at my age when i was young ( I am in my 50s)
I am more shaking my head idiocy pissed than stressed :) but worry for my kids future

when I was young in my 20s nothing bugged me never really did till I had kids etc..

seems my dad is saying he stressed he learned later in life it does not matter kinda message to me

so wonder we go through care free who cares young years to having kids at whatever age (unless you have kids you don't get kids and thinking about there future) to maybe back to whatever ?

just curious what others think feel in their stage in life etc..
do you worry for kids future and pissed more than stressed etc... or what ?

[Averageman]

I think it is all relative and perhaps a bit genetic.
I'm guessing we are programmed to be less stressed in our late teens and early twenties. I believe it is in our genetics to do some daring deeds early in life and have little regard for the consequences or our safety.
Sometime around thirty five to forty our eyesight starts to fade a bit, metabolism slows down a bit and you might have a brood of kids running around your feet. It is easy to feel the weight of all of that responsibility. This is also a key time in most guys careers, you might have fewer options after forty five than you did at thirty five when it comes to changing career paths.
Fifty can be a M'F'er if you let it be.
That's where I, like you, am at right now. I have to be honest with you, I am not very patient with a lot of people and I'm not very optimistic when it comes to our future as a Republic. I've done a few things to avoid some of the stresses and it helps me.
First, I quit watching the 24 hour news cycle and began to watch more local news. I know I'm getting old, I'm becoming a "Weather Junkie."
Second, I just started walking the dog twice a day, sunrise and sunset. It makes us both feel better.
Third, I learned something the hard way recently. I am as OCD as it gets and I feel like I "own" everything I put my hands on when it comes to my work. I have learned that if I am being managed and especially micromanaged, If I can't do it my way, I don't "own it. People who don't turn over projects to the guys who do the work deserve the results of "Management While Mostly Seated" in an distant office.
I could stress at this point and get angry and even more concerned about our future or I can turn inward and take care of me and mine. I have chosen the latter.
I keep thinking it is either that or a storke.

[Honu]

haahha so true about patience :) and being relative :)
I think about my time in Honduras in my early 30s and what I got away with !!!! man today no way !!!
only time I was stressed was when gun fights broke out or I had a knife to me ! rest of the time "NO WORRIES"


we did a 4 day camping last week was so nice to just chill !!! no news no worries just food fun relaxing talking story with friends
ironic some of the best times was when I went camping for 6 months and still went to work since it was close to where I was camping (on Lanai)
the black hawk down thing happened and we had no clue

we need to walk our dogs more :) been trying to get to bed earlier and up earlier tough cause I am a night owl for work no distractions !
agree to on work self employed most my life or as a private contractor really tough with economy these days

[Firefly]

At risk of sounding morbid, the fact that we're all gonna die one day no matter what gives me comfort and solace.

I just seek to outlive those I think the least of.

I think as we get older, we become more accepting that we truly are on borrowed time, so why care anymore?

That's why old folks spoil grandkids, say what they want, and don't GAF.

Most people who mid life crisis are usually dweebs. Like the guys that want some teenybopper girlfriend or a stupid car.

But the guys who legit lament their middle years are ones who were more able and now aren't but have that fire in them. So they spend it with their grandkids because their regular kids are assholes.

Me, I'll probably end up dead in a gutter somewhere. If I play my cards right.

[ndmiller]

Mid 40's myself, wife and I along with two girls. Just control what I can and/or avoid stupid people and situations as much as I can. I call that my stupid shields (think new 80's Asteroids with shields or star trek shields). When my stupid shields fail me, I drink or ride my motorcycle or go to the range or put on some bbq or hang with family or just laugh out loud at the stupid. Usually drinking is added to most on the list except riding motorcycle.

This also goes for people/places that embrace values not in common (or in conflict) with our own. I smile and am perfectly pleasant and nice to them, but avoid being around them as much as possible. Not even sure I give most people an honest chance either and one might think wife and I are judgmental and look down on people. We probably are and probably do, but this approach has successfully eliminated a lot (almost all) of our stress and frustration across our lives.

As for the bigger environment, namely the country, the world and how it's doing, again we control what we can control. Wife and I both work, own our home, live within our means, save money, raise our kids like tiny adults not big babies, and let stupid shields filter out the remaining macro US-World nonsense.

Noah

[B52U]

Many folks deal with existential crisis in that age range. As far as worrying about the world getting worse, a lot of it is our perception of reality more than hard data. If you look at major longterm worldwide metrics like health, child mortality rate, longevity, education levels, poverty, and even violence, the long term trends are mostly very positive. Now that doesn't mean there aren't plenty of dumbass people out there doing seemingly worse stuff, but there are also good things to be happy about too.

[khc3]

Raise your kids the best you can (through example, mostly) and they'll be fine. No matter how bad things get, the smart and virtuous succeed, while the dumb continue to mire in the same place they've always been.

As for me, my faith in God and Jesus Christ gives me the peace to believe that He is in control. All this that's going on...yeah, frustrating, but the best thing I can do is pray, live the best life I can, and smile, all the time. The older I get, the more powerful a smile, a laugh, and a kind word seem to be.

[Honu]

not morbid
for sure the older you get the more you realize some things do not matter !
and other things matter much more !

agree on midlife crisis folks :) hahahaha I have not or doubt I will care ?
I do think those are dweebs or those that worry about there FB status and are still trying to be voted something for the yearbook at 40 or 50 or whatever !
and value other people opinions as it carries weight with them !
not self confident etc..



At risk of sounding morbid, the fact that we're all gonna die one day no matter what gives me comfort and solace.

I just seek to outlive those I think the least of.

I think as we get older, we become more accepting that we truly are on borrowed time, so why care anymore?

That's why old folks spoil grandkids, say what they want, and don't GAF.

Most people who mid life crisis are usually dweebs. Like the guys that want some teenybopper girlfriend or a stupid car.

But the guys who legit lament their middle years are ones who were more able and now aren't but have that fire in them. So they spend it with their grandkids because their regular kids are assholes.

Me, I'll probably end up dead in a gutter somewhere. If I play my cards right.

[Moose-Knuckle]

Stressed?

Pissed?

No I'm mother ****'n incensed . . .

In my latter 30's, my son is under two YOA, yes I weep for the world he has to grow up in and carve out a life. My father had similar concerns, he was a teen and graduated HS in the 50's.

Civilization is always under threat, there has always been evil in the world but the fact remains we are circling the bowl . . .


“That is the key to history. Terrific energy is expended - civilizations are built up - excellent institutions devised; but each time something goes wrong. Some fatal flaw always brings the selfish and the cruel people to the top and it all slides back into misery and ruin.”
― C.S. Lewis

[Honu]

I do also think there is so much sensationalized media to keep the masses frightened happening :)
the living in constant fear of everything and sadly so so so many are falling into it
bicycle helmets a good example :) got to get my kids helmets they ride there scooters etc. with out them OH NO :) but reality is many of us grew up without them but now some places its law !!!
snowboarding almost every kid on the mtn has them now ?
parents getting in trouble for letting there kids walk to school etc.. or play in a park alone !!!

[Moose-Knuckle]

parents getting in trouble for letting there kids walk to school etc.. or play in a park alone !!!



Boy slain walking home from school stabbed 20 times


HOUSTON -- A man accused of killing an 11-year-old Houston boy as the child walked home from school sobbed in court Monday as prosecutors told the judge the boy was stabbed at least 20 times.

Andre Timothy Jackson Jr., who is charged with murder in the May 17 slaying of Josue Flores, appeared before a judge as prosecutors described the investigation that led to his arrest. Jackson did not speak during the hearing.

http://www.cbsnews.com/news/prosecutor-boy-slain-walking-home-from-school-stabbed-20-times/



You seen this yet?


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YL1bB2_cwNA

[Straight Shooter]

Raise your kids the best you can (through example, mostly) and they'll be fine. No matter how bad things get, the smart and virtuous succeed, while the dumb continue to mire in the same place they've always been.

As for me, my faith in God and Jesus Christ gives me the peace to believe that He is in control. All this that's going on...yeah, frustrating, but the best thing I can do is pray, live the best life I can, and smile, all the time. The older I get, the more powerful a smile, a laugh, and a kind word seem to be.

This is spot on, for me at least. For 30 years I was unable to rationally talk about the downfall of this nation, Id get so pissed, curse and carry on and challenge anyone who said I was wrong. News JUNKIE. I really went "over the edge" after Waco/Ruby Ridge and didn't come back until a couple years ago after turning to Jesus Christ and realizing that EVERYTHING is under His control & domain.
THAT said, however..NOWHERE does my Lord tell me or us to sit back..do nothing..don't defend yourself...don't try to change anything..accept tyranny,ect. ect. We absolutely have an obligation & DUTY to fight for right, for good, for justice & liberty & freedom. He EMPOWERS us to do so. My Lord is THE original freedom fighter, so to speak. He gave us free will...accept Him , or not. Both have consequences. And we can accept the current state of affairs, or not. Both have consequences.
FYI- This is one of my personal favs in the Bible:
Be NOT ye afraid of them,
Remember the Lord, for He is GREAT and TERRIBLE!
FIGHT for your bretheren, for your sons & for your daughters, for your wives & for your households. Nehemiah 4:14
And I say AMEN.

[Dienekes]

Back in the mid-80s, I had not merely pegged my stress meter, but it had gone around the dial about three times...seemed like every thing had taken a dump.

There was a little bookstore a block from work, where I stumbled across a little book by a dead white guy--"Meditations" by the Roman emperor and Stoic, Marcus Aurelius. It made sense to me, helped me get squared away, and showed me how to cope with screwed-up situations not under my control. I'd read an entry or two in the morning and be fairly bulletproof for the rest of the day.

Early Christianity borrowed quite a bit from the Stoics because their outlook was largely comparable, and it worked.

Charleton Ogburn, in "The Marauders" ( Merrill's Marauders, Burma, WWII) observed that if you wanted men for desperate enterprises, it didn't matter much if you got them from the guardhouse or a monastery; the point was that neither group cared much for the things of this world ("I'm your huckleberry"?).

I don't expect too much from a fallen world, so hoping for perfection here and now is kind of silly. Someone once said that this life is like "a bad night in a bad inn" and we're just passing through anyway. "Desperate enterprises" seem to be our lot in this time and place.

[B52U]

Apocolyptic thinking has been in mans dreams and thoughts since the beginning. We have this strange obsession with the big crash, and for some it is a fantasy to step out of the mundane, to finally realize an imagined survival destiny, to see our enemies fall in the collapse, and to see a fresh start. This is why entertainment in apocolyptic scenarios is so popular and why groups like isis are so successful in recruitment. People want a big final battle badly. It is human nature.

[chuckman]

The more I am on social media and around TV, the more agitated I become. The more time I am with my family or in nature, the more peaceful I become. Like many here, I am pushing 50, but because of my faith I am not particularly concerned about my demise, but rather more concerned that we teach our kids properly so that they can live good lives.

I am a big fan, too, of perspective. I am in the medical field, and like a lot here have been in the military, so as long as I keep the right perspective about things I find I stay (more) sane.

[Honu]

yeah saw that !!!!
freaking sicko looking dude would have ended really bad for the girl I reckon

I will never say danger is not there but when 11 kids are dying each day from texting and driving and IMHO the parents are part of it by giving the kids a phone and car keys and maybe not raising them to understand ? but again I would not blame them just they are part
same for 3 kids a day dying in a pool often parent was not watching or left pool uncovered and again not blaming just saying watch and cover would slow this rate down
I guess compared to these this kinda thing is still insanely rare !!!!!
sadly there has always been these types but also I was told to watch out for these types etc..

also why my kids are in BJJ at a young age to try to give them some chance to fight back etc..
IMHO that dude was pure evil in him !!!!

one thing I am trying to do is also make sure my kids understand WHO CARES what the outside world thinks about them in public ?
if we go to a restaurant we all bow our heads and pray something you rarely see these days sadly !
also realize very few in life will truly be there for you ! and as we go through life friends come and go and a few hang on with us but family is always there !
so to realize as we meet and maybe loose some friends along the way its not a huge deal

with my girl being 12 the drama amongst her group has started :) and lucky her and a couple other girls are the neutral parties and somehow have avoided it and hope that maintains :)

living life and lessons are tough to watch your kid go through though !!!
my boy took a gnarly fall the other day and just started screaming PAIN PAIN PAIN PAIN oh man as a parent that is so tough !!!!!




Boy slain walking home from school stabbed 20 times



http://www.cbsnews.com/news/prosecutor-boy-slain-walking-home-from-school-stabbed-20-times/



You seen this yet?


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YL1bB2_cwNA

[Honu]

my facebook is a mix of old HS folks and lots of my fellow photographers who are vicious liberal but I need it for work
what I am shocked at how many of the folks I knew in school are radical libs now !
but often when they spout garbage if they do not relate to my biz I just unfriend them now and related to my biz I unfollow them
try not to let it get to me but it does somewhat try to get up from my chair go talk to my kids try to pull away those thoughts :)


The more I am on social media and around TV, the more agitated I become. The more time I am with my family or in nature, the more peaceful I become. Like many here, I am pushing 50, but because of my faith I am not particularly concerned about my demise, but rather more concerned that we teach our kids properly so that they can live good lives.

I am a big fan, too, of perspective. I am in the medical field, and like a lot here have been in the military, so as long as I keep the right perspective about things I find I stay (more) sane.