View Full Version : Prison Wallet? No, it's a Prison Holster...
Averageman
03-30-17, 14:32
http://www.breitbart.com/big-government/2017/03/30/suspect-charged-for-carrying-pistol-without-permit-after-gun-falls-out-of-his-buttocks/
Officers were booking 23-year-old Jesse O’Neal Roberts into jail when a pistol fell out of his buttocks, initially giving them the impression that Roberts was defecating on himself.
The incident occurred at Alabama’s Limestone County Jail.
According to AL.com, deputies received a call “about a prowler” and arrived at the address to find Roberts being held at gunpoint by the resident. Deputy Chad Harbin said Roberts “was showing signs of impairment,” so he arrested him on public intoxication.
They drove Roberts to jail and, upon arriving, a corrections officer noted that Roberts was walking “strangely.” While Roberts was being booked a pistol fell out of his buttocks.
You know, you just couldn't make this stuff up, A keister holster.
Years ago I spoke with a Veteran LEO, he was working in the 1960-70's. He explained to me that it wasn't the stuff he found on people that shocked him, it was the stuff he found in the back seat of his patrol care that got to him. He explained to me everyone got frisked before they got in the back seat and most all of them were in handcuffs and yet he found a number of weapons hidden back there over the years...
LowSpeed_HighDrag
03-30-17, 14:57
I've been on both sides of booking: I.E. booking deputy and arresting officer. Man, the weird, and sometimes terrifying things we find....
"Sup Jesse?"
"Aw just shootin' the shit homey."
Eurodriver
03-30-17, 15:17
I've been on both sides of booking: I.E. booking deputy and arresting officer. Man, the weird, and sometimes terrifying things we find....
Sounds like your job can be kind of shitty.
Doc Safari
03-30-17, 16:51
I've often thought there are pistols out there that look like someone shit them out. Glad to have it confirmed that such is actually possible.
A new national pastime in America's prisons!
So, keister that Kimber! Gluteus that Glock! Buttocks that Beretta!
I'm assuming a S&W Model 29 w/ 8 inch barrel.
"Officer dee hamsta is mine but I did NOT know he had a gun"
FromMyColdDeadHand
03-30-17, 22:35
...with out retention....
Anything's a dildo if you're brave enough.
Can you imagine having an ND?
FromMyColdDeadHand
03-31-17, 00:33
Can you imagine having an ND?
Cocked and locked or de-cocked.
Moose-Knuckle
03-31-17, 05:31
We had a little Hispanic dude (5'-4ish) who dropped a 12" "toy" from his backside in the vestibule, dude had been driving around with it in the whole time before he was pulled over and arrested.
One time at county a snitch gave up this chic, after taking her to the ER for a cavity search they discovered a small automatic handgun in her vajayjay. God only knows how long that had been in there.
Can you imagine having an ND?
No, because that would first require having a pistol in my ass...
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Heard about this on the radio yesterday. Aside from all the obvious jokes, they mentioned the weapon was stolen. The next question was, does the owner have to claim his weapon? Not sure I would...I don't think any amount of sanitizing would get me to the point where I would be comfortable with that gun.
We had a little Hispanic dude (5'-4ish) who dropped a 12" "toy" from his backside in the vestibule, dude had been driving around with it in the whole time before he was pulled over and arrested.
One time at county a snitch gave up this chic, after taking her to the ER for a cavity search they discovered a small automatic handgun in her vajayjay. God only knows how long that had been in there.
Picked up two folks on a D&D fight at a motel. On the way to the jail the guy tells me the gal was a hooker and had cleaned out his wallet. Guy further relayed that the gal would have a fresh bite mark on her inner thigh. At that point I'm still young and innocent enough to think 'Really, your nose down there with a hooker?'
At the jail the matron found the bite mark and the money - in and near the gals snatch. I'd heard it called 'my little cashbox' before but that was the first time I'd actually had direct exposure.
Not as exciting as a gun, but it was the topic of conversation for a shift. Mainly because the matron had unthinkingly conducted the search in an area with camera coverage which allowed the gal to put on quite a show for the guys watching the camera in the control room. Resulting in slapped hands and a change in jail policy.
Averageman
03-31-17, 09:05
Heard about this on the radio yesterday. Aside from all the obvious jokes, they mentioned the weapon was stolen. The next question was, does the owner have to claim his weapon? Not sure I would...I don't think any amount of sanitizing would get me to the point where I would be comfortable with that gun.
They simply do not make rubbing alcohol and hand sanitizer in such quantities....
I might take it to a gun show, but then the buyer would probably ask about the surgical gloves I was wearing.
They simply do not make rubbing alcohol and hand sanitizer in such quantities....
I might take it to a gun show, but then the buyer would probably ask about the surgical gloves I was wearing.
You could make claims about the awesomeness of the gun, as in, 'you can rely on this gun, no matter what type of shit you are dealing with...'.
You wouldn't be lying :p
Averageman
03-31-17, 10:51
You could make claims about the awesomeness of the gun, as in, 'you can rely on this gun, no matter what type of shit you are dealing with...'.
You wouldn't be lying :p
I simply Poo-Poo that remark...
Moose-Knuckle
04-01-17, 03:55
Picked up two folks on a D&D fight at a motel. On the way to the jail the guy tells me the gal was a hooker and had cleaned out his wallet. Guy further relayed that the gal would have a fresh bite mark on her inner thigh. At that point I'm still young and innocent enough to think 'Really, your nose down there with a hooker?'
At the jail the matron found the bite mark and the money - in and near the gals snatch. I'd heard it called 'my little cashbox' before but that was the first time I'd actually had direct exposure.
Not as exciting as a gun, but it was the topic of conversation for a shift. Mainly because the matron had unthinkingly conducted the search in an area with camera coverage which allowed the gal to put on quite a show for the guys watching the camera in the control room. Resulting in slapped hands and a change in jail policy.
We had a female officer conduct a visual strip search on this one gal, every time she coughed while bending over the officer could see a glass crack pipe peek out from her vajayjay then go back up. It was a joke for years known as the "peekaboo crack pipe" incident.
It is amazing how much cargo females can smuggle. I was recently at a correctional facility (as contractor) and they had the wall of shame in the lobby. Highlighted were two female employees caught trafficking various drugs into the facility. Not sure of the total weight, but it was A LOT. I think one of them had something like 42 packets of H and coke, and a few large balloons with strings attached :bad:
MountainRaven
04-01-17, 14:38
They simply do not make rubbing alcohol and hand sanitizer in such quantities....
I might take it to a gun show, but then the buyer would probably ask about the surgical gloves I was wearing.
Just leave it in the evidence bag.
"This gun was stolen from me. I don't want to know where it's been and I don't want to own it any longer."
titsonritz
04-02-17, 17:25
We had a little Hispanic dude (5'-4ish) who dropped a 12" "toy" from his backside in the vestibule, dude had been driving around with it in the whole time before he was pulled over and arrested.
One time at county a snitch gave up this chic, after taking her to the ER for a cavity search they discovered a small automatic handgun in her vajayjay. God only knows how long that had been in there.
Sad but true it is just all to common...
Cops: Woman concealed loaded gun in vagina (https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2015/09/08/woman-pistol-vagina-charged-unlawful-carry/71899282/)
Cops find loaded gun in Tennessee woman’s vagina: report (http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/cops-find-loaded-gun-tennessee-woman-vagina-report-article-1.1765910)*
Man a single action, bitch is hardcore.
Sad but true it is just all to common...
Cops: Woman concealed loaded gun in vagina (https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2015/09/08/woman-pistol-vagina-charged-unlawful-carry/71899282/)
Cops find loaded gun in Tennessee woman’s vagina: report (http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/cops-find-loaded-gun-tennessee-woman-vagina-report-article-1.1765910)*
Man a single action, bitch is hardcore.
Souther said it was stolen from his 1994 Mustang last year while the car was parked in front of his home.
"Oh gosh," Souther, 70, told The Smoking Gun after learning where his gun was found.
The "little fellow," he said, would need a "bath in bleach."
Archer was charged with gun possession and introducing contraband into a jail and released after posting $6,000 bond.
If I was a girl I'd be more worried about having a S&W Escort with a chambered round in my moneymaker.
titsonritz
04-02-17, 20:14
[I]
If I was a girl I'd be more worried about having a S&W Escort with a chambered round in my moneymaker.
But at she could carry condition 3, that little SA hammer is like a fish hook (maybe it has a carry package bevel job).
I believe the news story said a round was chambered.
that little SA hammer is like a fish hook (maybe it has a carry package bevel job) Somehow I doubt ol' Mr. Souther had that done before she stole it. Babies come out of there, so maybe she could finese it. And with that I've grossed myself out.
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