FAVORITE POLITICAL JOKES YOU'VE HEARD?

[Doc Safari]

There is one that I always remember, even from childhood. It was one of my dad's favorite political jokes.

Understand this was told mostly while Senator Ted Kennedy was still alive and in the Senate, but it works for others too.



INTERN: Senator Kennedy, what about the abortion bill?
KENNEDY: Pay it. PAAAAAY IT!

[GH41]

http://i1058.photobucket.com/albums/t414/ghchhisc/HCJ_zpsnotwtd7p.jpg

[GH41]

http://i1058.photobucket.com/albums/t414/ghchhisc/HCJ_zpsnotwtd7p.jpg

Which in this case, holds about 200 pounds of fertilizer.

[Grand58742]

When asked if they would have sex with Bill Clinton, 86% of women in D.C. said, "Not again."

What do you get when you cross a corrupt lawyer with a crooked politician?

Chelsea Clinton.

My personal favorite over the past year have been the Biden memes.

http://www.distractify.com/trending/2016/11/16/Z1WwCGu/best-of-joe-biden-and-obama-memes

[TriggerFish]

http://i.imgur.com/FAA6ALb.jpg

[chuckman]

One of my poli sci professors told us this limerick in class, and this was in 1987 and I have never forgotten it:

There once was a senator from Mass
Who went in search of some ass;
Lucked up and found it,
****ed up and drowned it;
Then he was in up to his ass

[TriggerFish]

Upon Trump's inauguration, Barack Obama has a heart-attack and dies.
He immediately goes to hell, where the devil is waiting for him.

"I don't know what to do here," says the devil. "You are on my
list, but I have no room for you. You definitely have to stay here,
so I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I've got a couple of folks here
who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you
have to take their place. I'll even let YOU decide who leaves."

Obama thought that sounded pretty good, so the devil opened
the door to the first room.
In it was Ted Kennedy and a large pool of water. Ted kept
diving in, and surfacing, empty handed. Over, and over, and over.
he dived in and surfaced with nothing. Such was his fate in hell.

"No," Obama said. "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer, and
I don't think I could do that all day long."

The devil led him to the door of the next room.

In it was Al Gore with a sledge- hammer and a room full of rocks.
All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after time.

"No, this is no good; I've got this problem with my shoulder.
I would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks
all day, commented Obama.

The devil opened a third door. Through it, Obama saw Bill
Clinton, lying on the bed, his arms tied over his head, and his
legs restrained in a spread-eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica
Lewinsky, doing what she does best.

Obama looked at this in shocked disbelief, and finally said, "Yeah
man, I can handle this."
The devil smiled and said...........

"OK, Monica, you're free to go."

[Eurodriver]

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2015/07/13/05/2A7BF41800000578-0-Mocking_Twitter_users_imagined_Trump_grovelling_with_fear_after_-a-60_1436763485589.jpg

[punkey71]

Millennial- "hey man, got any good Social Security jokes?"

Old dude - "Yeah, I got one...actually, forget it. You probably won't get it."


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[Firefly]

"The wall got ten feet higher"

[26 Inf]

https://www.sott.net/image/s8/178531/large/BjGQu4eIMAEOZl_.jpg

[JulyAZ]

Hillary has a 98% chance to defeat Trump based off the projections and experts.

[BoringGuy45]

Monica Lewinsky walks into a dry cleaner with a dress.
"Can you clean this for me?" she asks.
The cleaner is a little hard of hearing, so he says, "Come again?"
Monica replies, "No, it's just spaghetti sauce this time."

[JC5188]

https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20170502/061e61702d5433ba66671903a054e4be.png


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[Moose-Knuckle]

My sig line . . . DUH!