View Full Version : Funny thing happened at work
Anybody got any funny stories from work?
I used to be a cable guy. About 3 years ago I went to a disabled lady's house one day who had a "service monkey". It was in a 6x6x6 cage right next to the front door screaming like a banshee.
This was obviously distracting while I'm trying to introduce myself and tell her what I'm there to do. So I'm talking louder and louder and the monkey is getting crazier and crazier. It starts pulling on the cage and just generally freaking out. So I'm trying to talk louder and louder to overcome this. The monkey starts beating it's chest like a miniature King Kong. Then it starts hitting itself fast as it can in the crotch.
The lady says to me, I'm sorry sir, she's a female and the sound of a man's voice gets her all worked up. She says, it's only ever me around here and when she hears a man's voice she tends to masturbate.
100% true story.
wildcard600
05-04-17, 19:45
Anybody got any funny stories from work?
I used to be a cable guy. About 3 years ago I went to a disabled lady's house one day who had a "service monkey". It was in a 6x6x6 cage right next to the front door screaming like a banshee.
This was obviously distracting while I'm trying to introduce myself and tell her what I'm there to do. So I'm talking louder and louder and the monkey is getting crazier and crazier. It starts pulling on the cage and just generally freaking out. So I'm trying to talk louder and louder to overcome this. The monkey starts beating it's chest like a miniature King Kong. Then it starts hitting itself fast as it can in the crotch.
The lady says to me, I'm sorry sir, she's a female and the sound of a man's voice gets her all worked up. She says, it's only ever me around here and when she hears a man's voice she tends to masturbate.
100% true story.
You sure it was a monkey ? I think a buddy of mine dated her (the service "monkey", not the old lady).
Averageman
05-04-17, 20:15
This is going to be classic, I know it.
:jester:
That's hilarious. A cousin to the trunk monkey?
Anybody got any funny stories from work?
I used to be a cable guy. About 3 years ago I went to a disabled lady's house one day who had a "service monkey". It was in a 6x6x6 cage right next to the front door screaming like a banshee.
This was obviously distracting while I'm trying to introduce myself and tell her what I'm there to do. So I'm talking louder and louder and the monkey is getting crazier and crazier. It starts pulling on the cage and just generally freaking out. So I'm trying to talk louder and louder to overcome this. The monkey starts beating it's chest like a miniature King Kong. Then it starts hitting itself fast as it can in the crotch.
The lady says to me, I'm sorry sir, she's a female and the sound of a man's voice gets her all worked up. She says, it's only ever me around here and when she hears a man's voice she tends to masturbate.
100% true story.
New definition of spanking the monkey...
That's hilarious. A cousin to the trunk monkey?
Trunk money. Lol. I loved those commercials.
Anyway, on the subject of funny things happening at work. Or rather in this thread's case, just strange. Had a woman on the phone who we were trying to get information from to build a claim, and, well let's just say she wasn't all there. Kept going on and on about how she worked at Shop Rite for the Army. As in she was in the army and her job was working at Shop Rite. But, wait, it gets stranger. I am trying to get information from her and she doesn't know anything, finally after spending 20 or so minutes dealing with her she finally goes, "But, I don't have my memories they took them!" I basically went "Huh? Can you explain?" "Well they took the microchip that was in my head out and took my memories." And it promptly went down hill from there.
Ok, not my workplace but...a physician friend in a small town told me about a European couple that relocated to the area and wanted to practice medicine. She was General Practice, her husband a surgeon. Shortly after their arrival, their were several MVA's on a single night. Two young women were rushed in to the hospital- Jane and Sarah Doe. Later on, an accident brought 3 more patients- John, Sam and Susan Doe. No NOK were yet identified for any of the victims. After a grueling night, the couple met in the lounge with other physicans discussing the patients, treatment plans, etc. After all the professional discussions were complete, the couple voiced their concerns about contacting the NOK and offering condolences. They acknowledged the proffessional boundaries of doing so, but they conjectured that in such a small town, there couldn't be that many Does. The quote was something like, "The poor Doe family must be devastated having 5 members so seriously hurt on the same night!"
Anybody got any funny stories from work?
I used to be a cable guy. About 3 years ago I went to a disabled lady's house one day who had a "service monkey". It was in a 6x6x6 cage right next to the front door screaming like a banshee.
This was obviously distracting while I'm trying to introduce myself and tell her what I'm there to do. So I'm talking louder and louder and the monkey is getting crazier and crazier. It starts pulling on the cage and just generally freaking out. So I'm trying to talk louder and louder to overcome this. The monkey starts beating it's chest like a miniature King Kong. Then it starts hitting itself fast as it can in the crotch.
The lady says to me, I'm sorry sir, she's a female and the sound of a man's voice gets her all worked up. She says, it's only ever me around here and when she hears a man's voice she tends to masturbate.
100% true story.
Wondering why a human male voice, gets a female monkey all worked up. I could understand if it was a male monkey. I know we are genetic cousins and all but monkeys don't talk or sound even remotely like humans.
tourists :)
If its tourist season how come we can't shoot them !
how deep do we have to dive to get under the island :)
so do you live on the island ?
its really expensive here ! is it expensive for you to ?
when I worked at the Sheraton the girls from the front would route calls to the scuba shack (I think for the fun of it cause I was so so so sarcastic to tourists)
do we need power converters if we come to Hawaii ?
is the water safe to drink ?
can we use American dollars ?
do the natives still live in grass huts anywhere we can see them ?
as I am on the boat teaching them scuba :) "So what do you do for a living ?"
and so many more gems :)
Wondering why a human male voice, gets a female monkey all worked up. I could understand if it was a male monkey. I know we are genetic cousins and all but monkeys don't talk or sound even remotely like humans.
I thought the same thing. This was obviously not scientific but simply the opinion of the lady who had the monkey.
Again, not embellished at all. 100% true events.
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.2.5 Copyright © 2024 vBulletin Solutions, Inc. All rights reserved.