Don't Judge book by its cover lesson

[WillBrink]

As humans, we all make quick judgements on the visual we get no matter what some may claim. That's a given. It's part of our innate survival mechanism. We make judgements from those visuals and we treat 20 something dude with jail tats on his face wearing dirty clothes differently than we may an older gent in a three piece suit. At the same time, we make our assessment from the intel we see, but hopefully don't close the book and throw away the key.

Once in a while that lesson gets tested and reminds me that while our early assessments are generally correct, it's important to remember that's not always the case and treat people as individuals and with respect until they give you a reason not to.

Guy comes into the museum. Looked like The Dude but much thinner. Long hair, dirty shirt with big pot leaf on it, shorts, sandles, round glasses, etc. Seemed not 100% "there" but pleasant enough. Figured he was lost or looking for the bathroom.

Asks for a ticket, pays his $10, and goes into museum. Andy B (Outreach Director of the museum) and look at each other with "well OK" look and back to work. Figured he was just bored and figured he'd check out the museum.

Dude comes back out later and asks how much a full membership costs. Gave him the paper work, he filled it out, pulls out a wads of $$, pays it in cash, and tells us how much he enjoyed the museum and wanted to be a full member.

Now it's getting interesting. Finally I couldn't resist and asked if he was mil. Reaches in his t shirt and pulls out his D tags. He was an Army Medic. Did two tours and was exposed to some nasty chems while dragging someone out, which damaged his lungs, etc, and uses medial cannabis for a slow growing brain tumor he developed when he got back.

Just recently moved to the area to be in a low key low stress area for the time he has left. Now, at no time did we treat him with anything but respect and you never know who's a hippy homeless dude and some ninja on vacation (we get those too), but I still felt like a dick for my initial impressions and it reaffirmed how important is to not allow our first impressions to dictate all future interactions.

I have had experiences like that many times in my life and I try to take them to heart when interacting with people. You just never know who you're dealing with.

Now that he's a member, which means he can come in when ever he wants, bring family members, etc we can make him feel extra welcome.

[Doc Safari]

When I was in law enforcement I learned three basic truths:

1. You cannot judge a perp by his looks. Some of the nerdiest looking dudes committed the most brutal, gruesome crimes.
2. Just because a person did something very bad in his life, doesn't mean he is 100% bad.
3. Some people can change, but that's not the way to bet.

[VLODPG]

Thanks for sharing that Will.

[SteyrAUG]

The nice thing about a "pre judgement" is that it is only that. As more information is obtained, judgements evolve.

The problem is "pre judgement" or "prejudice" has been equated with racism and deemed "always wrong." Of course racism is a constant and people who hate black people hate Neil Tyson as well even though that makes zero sense.

I "pre judge" or "profile" everyone I come into contact with deliberately. I assume people in military uniforms are decent people until I learn otherwise, I assume people with what look like jail tats are dangerous shitbags until I learn otherwise. I've been disappointed and surprised a few times but that is the nature of people projecting an appearance.

For whatever reason you can't have a cannabis themed t shirt and expect people to not make certain assumptions just as I can't wear my "kafir" t shirt and expect it not to elicit a reaction, sometimes positive - sometimes negative. But I can choose to wear it or not wear it because people will make assumptions even if they claim they don't do that sort of thing.

[Firefly]

Believe none of what ya hear and half of what you see.

If I had a daughter who brought home a dude who was prim and proper, I would beat his ass and throw him in the garbage.

If she brought home some dude wearing a Slayer shirt, ripped jeans, vans, and long hair; I'd give him a twenty to show her a good time.

I seen enough preppy, date rapist, stalker roxy popper dudes to know that there is polite and there is a mask.

Some metalhead likely loves his parents and would rather take in a movie and miniature golf

Nobody is that strack on their own time.

[Outlander Systems]

Believe none of what ya hear and half of what you see.

If I had a daughter who brought home a dude who was prim and proper, I would beat his ass and throw him in the garbage.

If she brought home some dude wearing a Slayer shirt, ripped jeans, vans, and long hair; I'd give him a twenty to show her a good time.

I seen enough preppy, date rapist, stalker roxy popper dudes to know that there is polite and there is a mask.

Some metalhead likely loves his parents and would rather take in a movie and miniature golf

Nobody is that strack on their own time.

^this is Gospel

[MegademiC]

Believe none of what ya hear and half of what you see.

If I had a daughter who brought home a dude who was prim and proper, I would beat his ass and throw him in the garbage.

If she brought home some dude wearing a Slayer shirt, ripped jeans, vans, and long hair; I'd give him a twenty to show her a good time.

I seen enough preppy, date rapist, stalker roxy popper dudes to know that there is polite and there is a mask.

Some metalhead likely loves his parents and would rather take in a movie and miniature golf

Nobody is that strack on their own time.

What about the metal heads who dress in business casual?

I'm kinda torn on the issue, as I think there are fine lines. I judge everyone I meet, but don't allow it to affect how I treat them. I allow them to show me who they are and I treat them accordlingly.

At the end of the day, people judge based on looks, right or wrong. I found if you put forth a good look and make a good impression, it's easier to get what you want, especially if that means getting treated well.

[WillBrink]

The nice thing about a "pre judgement" is that it is only that. As more information is obtained, judgements evolve.

The problem is "pre judgement" or "prejudice" has been equated with racism and deemed "always wrong." Of course racism is a constant and people who hate black people hate Neil Tyson as well even though that makes zero sense.

I "pre judge" or "profile" everyone I come into contact with deliberately. I assume people in military uniforms are decent people until I learn otherwise, I assume people with what look like jail tats are dangerous shitbags until I learn otherwise. I've been disappointed and surprised a few times but that is the nature of people projecting an appearance.

For whatever reason you can't have a cannabis themed t shirt and expect people to not make certain assumptions just as I can't wear my "kafir" t shirt and expect it not to elicit a reaction, sometimes positive - sometimes negative. But I can choose to wear it or not wear it because people will make assumptions even if they claim they don't do that sort of thing.

At least it should, but such is often not the case with many. We all profile and that's not inherently a negative per se as it kept us alive that we could quickly make judgments as to what was likely friend or foe and what planned to eat us ve the reverse and so forth.

It's only a negative when you can't view the person any other way than your initial impressions due to pre conceived assumptions, often based on ignorance and fear. If dude came in wearing a pro ISIS shirt and large backpack, would have made some immediate assumptions about him, none of them good...

[SteyrAUG]

At least it should, but such is often not the case with many. We all profile and that's not inherently a negative per se as it kept us alive that we could quickly make judgments as to what was likely friend or foe and what planned to eat us ve the reverse and so forth.

It's only a negative when you can't view the person any other way than your initial impressions due to pre conceived assumptions, often based on ignorance and fear. If dude came in wearing a pro ISIS shirt and large backpack, would have made some immediate assumptions about him, none of them good...

And that is why most people don't understand the nature of "prejudice" vs. "racist", if everyone on the planet was a thoughtful, evolved person we wouldn't even have to have this discussion.

[RetroRevolver77]

Saw a guy at a car dealership, gauge earrings, sleeve tattoos, yet wearing a 3%er shirt.

Not everyone fits the mold you expect.

[Moose-Knuckle]

Over on the QP forum, a QP shared a story while he was at the USAF Academy. There was this old hunched over janitor that no one ever paid any attention to. All of the cadets would walk right past him with not so much as a hi or a bye. One day while reading in the library this QP was reading a book about Congressional Medal of Honor winners. Turns out that old hunched over janitor was a recipient of a CMOH for combat actions during WWII. He approached the janitor with the book and asked him; "Is that you?!". The janitor replied; "Yep, that's me." and went right back to mopping the floor. Talk about humble. That was a "come to Jesus moment" for that future Special Forces soldier and his classmates.

You don't know, what you don't know.