View Full Version : Bad Night In A Bad Inn--My Turn
Watching things implode with my son's marriage, probably losing contact ( indefinitely) with my grandson, watching the good guys get hammered with PC lies in a "justice" system--WTF???
I am past the biblical three score and ten, wishing that I had been lucky enough to come back from SEA in a box and avoid all this.
As a hardheaded Catholic I don't think it right to speed up my exit--but I wouldn't wish for this stuff on my worst enemy. What the HELL is wrong with us???
It sure sucks to be an American man in 2017.
My sympathies to anyone else who has been there, got the tee shirt!!!
Amen, brother. Dinosaurs in our time.
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I am truly sorry for your families troubles... hold fast.
Watching things implode with my son's marriage, probably losing contact ( indefinitely) with my grandson, watching the good guys get hammered with PC lies in a "justice system--WTF???
I am past the biblical three score and seven, wishing that I had been lucky enough to come back from SEA in a box and avoid all this.
As a hardheaded Catholic I don't think it right to speed up my exit--but I wouldn't wish for this stuff on my worst enemy. What the HELL is wrong with us???
It sure sucks to be an American man in 2017.
My sympathies to anyone else who has been there, got the tee shirt!!!
I am older than you and one thing (maybe the only thing, LOL) I have learned in this life is that it goes in cycles - some good, some bad. Nothing stays the same forever. Hang in there, brother.
I cannot express my hatred of divorce and the pain it causes. Walked with our daughter through hers and now several years later she has a wonderful Christian husband who is a real blessing to our family.
I can only imagine your pain and frustration. Turn to the one who is your creator and redeemer, who knows you and loves you more than you can imagine. He will be your strength and your provision. He is able!
My prayers are with you and your family.
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sevenhelmet
05-18-17, 20:37
Divorce is terrible. Especially because it affects so many people, and it's never really over.
As to the PC crap, I hear you there too. Agree with others- hold fast against the storm, and keep a level head. I'm half your age, and often feel the same way you do. Not to worry, there are still places for folks like us in the world. I take great comfort in the fact that there are still good people in the world, quietly working behind the scenes to hold things together, even if it's only in their tiny corner. I try every day to earn my place among them.
Sorry you have to see loved ones go though that. Don't let the stuff on TV add to your misery, there's some decent people out there. As for the family troubles... the rain stop at so point, and you never know what great things are around the bend. Hang in there. A lot of good people around here.
Prayers sent.
A few years ago it was pointed out to me that I spend the majority of my time having conversations that haven't happened yet. I'll receive an email and immediately begin planning my response, then their response, then my retaliation. Then my explanation to my boss. I also spent a great deal of time harboring resentments walking around furious at all of the people that I so righteously hated, thinking about what I should have said or what I would say when I saw them next.
On September 11, 2001 a little under 3,000 people woke up without a clue that it would be the last day they would ever have. I wonder how many of them spent their breakfast, commute on the train, or drive to the airport in the same state I lived for so long- embroiled with resentments, fear, and anger- about a situation that would never take place for them? How many of them spent their last morning thinking about the very much not guaranteed future.
Any time I find myself living in the future I look down at my feet and remind myself where I am. The present is the greatest gift you'll ever get, and when we think in terms of past, present, and future- they are all at one point in time just the present. I am also fully convinced that the present is the only place that God lives, and it's probably the safest place for me to live as well.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=foU1qgOdtwg
Divorce is hell, especially on the kids. Be there for the grandkid(s) that are caught in the crossfire is the best advice I have. My parents are divorced, and my wife's parents are divorced. We had our ups and downs early on, but I think knowing what happens to everyone made us work at it that much harder. After 23 years all I know is the last thing I would want to do is throw those 23 years away.
I find myself more and more loving my country, but hating my government. Hopefully the truth comes out, and cooler heads prevail. It would be nice if Trump didn't give them more fuel for the fire than is really needed. The lies and ignorance coming from the left is insane, but all they're doing is slowly driving solid middle American Democrats away from them. I hope the commie bastards keep up the good work of driving people away. If they happen to go full retard in the meantime then the tree of liberty gets its thirst quenched a little more quickly than anticipated.
Honestly, this is nothing new although I concede it could be even worse today. But the shit my father was put through back in 1983 still blows my mind.
In order to have time to change the locks on the house, my mother contacted the FBI and informed them that my father was using his status as a doctor and his knowledge of firearms to make illegally modified machine guns and provide them to drug dealers. Keep in mind this was at the height of the cocaine / scarface days in South Florida.
Acting on a "good faith" tip the FBI rolled into his office one sunny morning wearing those blue FBI raid jackets and handcuffed him right in front of a waiting room of patients and took him downtown. Given that my father had no idea what they were talking about, he assumed it had to be about something else and that they were all full of shit and trying to set him up about something else. He believed it could have been related to the arrest of a family friend, another doctor who had used his private plane to fly in drugs one time "for the money" and then found out he couldn't quit because they blackmailed him into repeated runs until he finally got caught and discovered he didn't know actual names of anyone important and went to serious prison for a long time.
Since it was completely unrelated to that the FBI guys felt my father was being evasive and had something to hide. Long story short it was a long day at the FBI office until somebody with a brain asked him how his relationship with his wife was and they began to figure it out. My father knew there were problems, but he had no idea how bad they actually were.
So after spending all day with the feds they finally cut him lose and he went home to discover his clothes on the lawn, the sprinklers running and that his key no longer worked. Photographic evidence of illegal machine guns was later provided to the FBI and thankfully my mother was a complete retard when it came to firearms and she took pictures of the scariest gun she saw, a SPAS 12 which isn't really a great candidate for conversion to full auto. Had she taken a picture of an AR-15 my father might never have been able to "eliminate all doubt" about making illegal machine guns for drug dealers.
The FBI figured out they had been played, but my mothers lawyer insisted she acted on "good faith" and had "heard" him talking about making illegal machine guns for people involved in drug smuggling, which of course was bullshit. But that protected her from filing a false report with the FBI.
Now people are probably thinking my father had a great "wrongful arrest / defamation" case against the FBI and that might be true. But at the time my mother had a scumbag lawyer working on "contingency" and going after a doctor with a pretty substantial income and my father on the other hand was paying for his lawyer and in the initial judgement against him he was ordered to pay $850,000 plus child support (even though I was living with my fathers parents at the time) and some heart attack amount in monthly alimony payments, and this was in 1983 dollars.
Didn't matter that she was serially unfaithful, she made claims of infidelity that eventually were proven untrue, she tried to convince me that I had been abused by my father which I didn't understand at the time because it wasn't true and she tried pretty unsuccessfully to claim he abused her but she forgot to injure herself and document it with a doctor. But FL was a "no fault" state and that means that a person earning an income is basically the bad guy and has to pay support to the non working party in a divorce.
Thankfully there was eventually something close to a happy ending. Realizing $850 thousand dollars was close to everything he'd earn in the next 10 years he walked away from his practice, left the state of Florida and spent every dime he could access in a "use it or lose it" plan, spending money only on things that couldn't be ordered sold.
He then went back to school and took out a buttload of student loans knowing the government would get paid before she got paid. He contested the divorce for 14 years until there was genuinely no more money to go after and no lawyer would represent her on contingency anymore. After that she finally settled for something like $30,000 which he paid and then started a new practice so he could pay back all those student loans.
So basically he lost a decade of his life and had to live as a "broke college student" even though he already possessed several medical degrees and had worked his ass off to build a successful practice. And it was all undone because she had watched her friends successfully divorce their husbands, get the house, car and half of their husbands income to maintain their lifestyle standard without the inconvenience of a husband.
Sadly it's not an uncommon story.
You're a Catholic....you know where the answer is. We're stupid and depraved......and we don't know the way of peace. You need some perspective. Family problems can drag the strongest down to despair, and maybe the problem is where your eyes are looking. As for politics.....just think how bad it was in this country in 1860 or 1930 or the world in 1940. Things are bad today, but it seems to me things were really bad at certain times in the past. Bad in a way we don't really understand unless we lived through it.
If you're weak there is someone who is strong. There is someone who wants you to throw up your hands and give up and there is someone who is saying lean on me.......who you going to listen to?
Dont take it so personal. Cant turn a ho into a housewife. Or any wife. Modern women are a good time but not suitable for something old fashioned like marrying.
Your son found out the hard way but the sun will come up tomorrow.
Steyr that is quite a story thanks for sharing. Nowadays you can just assume everyone is getting no fault divorce right?
Steyr that is quite a story thanks for sharing. Nowadays you can just assume everyone is getting no fault divorce right?
Probably.
just a scout
05-19-17, 19:17
Steyr, that's a hell of a story.
Few years ago, I went through really bad times. Terrible infidelity, and not by me. Almost ate a pistol but my son came in, sat down and held my hand and listened to me cry like a baby for two hours. Something changed after that for my wife and we reconciled. I love her dearly, but the trust will always be damaged.
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just a scout
05-19-17, 19:18
Divorce is a horrible, terrible thing. I trust a thief or murderer before I trust a cheater.
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Steyr, I have almost the exact same story except I don't have the income and dealt with local Leo instead of FBI. 6 years later it still isn't over. And I lost all contacts with my kids and grandkids too.
Not worth getting married these days. Or shacking up either. In CA it's common law after one year.
Steyr, that's a hell of a story.
I've seen even worse when I worked security clearance for the county. There was a guy who came in for a job with a court ordered letter from his ex wife. In the letter she explained that in the early stages of her divorce from her husband she was encouraged by friends to make allegations of spousal abuse and she staged an incident that resulted in her husband being arrested and prosecuted for domestic violence.
However in this case investigators found a few contradictions and the ex wife later admitted she fabricated the entire story to obtain a better settlement and custody of the children. The judge ordered her to write the letter because an arrest never is removed from your record no matter what you do.
So sure enough when I did the background check, the domestic violence arrest pops up and even if the charges are completely dismissed far too many people just assume the husband hired a high price attorney and "got out of it" which is why the judge again ordered the confession letter from the wife.
But when I sent his file upstairs to the board, a mostly female arbitration panel ignored the letter and one even commented that "where there is smoke, there is usually fire." So even though this guy never did anything wrong and was completely set up, even though investigators even caught the wife lying and she confessed and even with a court ordered letter of admission of guilt from the wife this guy is still not getting hired when he applies for grown up jobs.
In contrast, there was a female applicant for a directors position who lied on her application and stated she had never been arrested and I pulled up two DUI's in the last 5 years, each of which earned her only probation and fines. Typically that is a automatic disqualifier, however in her case her file didn't need to go to arbitration because she cried. She literally started crying in the office when she realized I found two DUIs that for whatever reason she didn't think would get pulled up.
Next thing I knew a senior administrator had come from upstairs and took her and another person into another room to discuss things. After about 10 minutes she came out of the room and her employment application was processed and she got hired for the job. Couldn't believe it. Wish I could say those are the only two incidents like that I ever saw.
Few years ago, I went through really bad times. Terrible infidelity, and not by me. Almost ate a pistol but my son came in, sat down and held my hand and listened to me cry like a baby for two hours. Something changed after that for my wife and we reconciled. I love her dearly, but the trust will always be damaged.
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Glad you are still with us, that is some horrible shit to contemplate.
Steyr, I have almost the exact same story except I don't have the income and dealt with local Leo instead of FBI. 6 years later it still isn't over. And I lost all contacts with my kids and grandkids too.
Not worth getting married these days. Or shacking up either. In CA it's common law after one year.
Here's hoping the kids and grandkids one day become wise enough to figure out the truth and discover who is at fault. That is really the only thing my father got out of the entire ordeal, my brother and I eventually figured out what was what and broke all contact with our mother. No calls, no cards...nothing. She basically doesn't have kids anymore and there is nothing she could ever do that would make me forgive her for what she did to my father.
Coal Dragger
05-19-17, 22:14
I've seen even worse when I worked security clearance for the county. There was a guy who came in for a job with a court ordered letter from his ex wife. In the letter she explained that in the early stages of her divorce from her husband she was encouraged by friends to make allegations of spousal abuse and she staged an incident that resulted in her husband being arrested and prosecuted for domestic violence.
However in this case investigators found a few contradictions and the ex wife later admitted she fabricated the entire story to obtain a better settlement and custody of the children. The judge ordered her to write the letter because an arrest never is removed from your record no matter what you do.
So sure enough when I did the background check, the domestic violence arrest pops up and even if the charges are completely dismissed far too many people just assume the husband hired a high price attorney and "got out of it" which is why the judge again ordered the confession letter from the wife.
But when I sent his file upstairs to the board, a mostly female arbitration panel ignored the letter and one even commented that "where there is smoke, there is usually fire." So even though this guy never did anything wrong and was completely set up, even though investigators even caught the wife lying and she confessed and even with a court ordered letter of admission of guilt from the wife this guy is still not getting hired when he applies for grown up jobs.
In contrast, there was a female applicant for a directors position who lied on her application and stated she had never been arrested and I pulled up two DUI's in the last 5 years, each of which earned her only probation and fines. Typically that is a automatic disqualifier, however in her case her file didn't need to go to arbitration because she cried. She literally started crying in the office when she realized I found two DUIs that for whatever reason she didn't think would get pulled up.
Next thing I knew a senior administrator had come from upstairs and took her and another person into another room to discuss things. After about 10 minutes she came out of the room and her employment application was processed and she got hired for the job. Couldn't believe it. Wish I could say those are the only two incidents like that I ever saw.
Glad you are still with us, that is some horrible shit to contemplate.
Yeah... you're not inspiring much confidence in .gov hiring standards.
I and many Americans have a rather low opinion of federal employees, this anecdote further reinforces that view.
In fairness I see the same BS in private industry as well. I have some female coworkers who would have been terminated long ago for serious operations violations if they had penises.
Sometimes you can't be everything the other person needs. I'm on the verge of divorce myself, and it's pretty terrible. I've been through some pretty awful things and been ok but I don't think the kids deserve the fallout.
RetroRevolver77
05-20-17, 10:47
Sometimes you can't be everything the other person needs. I'm on the verge of divorce myself, and it's pretty terrible. I've been through some pretty awful things and been ok but I don't think the kids deserve the fallout.
Going through the same thing right now. I feel lost mostly. Weird thing is, her and I still get along very well. Never really fought much anyway. However woke up a few weeks back to find out that a decade of my life means nothing. There is no bright side, you end up middle aged and alone. May decide to sell off everything and move someplace remote.
Fellas, I've been there too. Seen some real bad stuff. Rather than tell another tragic story, I thought I'd try to lighten the mood just a little and highlight a bright side.
Neither Hillary Clinton nor Bernie Sanders are the President of these United States in the year 2017. C'mon! That's got to bring a smile, right? At least a smirk?
A lesson I learned in childhood: No matter how bad things seem, it can always get worse. And: No matter how bad things are, things are worse for someone else somewhere in the world.
Soldier on brothers. Better days will come. Better days always come.
Drive on. That is all
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Relationships are like motorcycles - sooner or later, they all crash.
Relationships are like motorcycles - sooner or later, they all crash.
Not really, my grandparents married young and stayed married through some challenging times, raised three kids and stayed married until death.
But much like a motorcycle, you can't just jump in and think "I got this."
Not really, my grandparents married young and stayed married through some challenging times, raised three kids and stayed married until death.
But much like a motorcycle, you can't just jump in and think "I got this."
Same here... grand parents on both sides went well passed 50 years of marriage before they passed on. All married young right before WWII.. My parents and my wife's parents are both passed 50 years themselves and all are living happily. My wife and I are celebrating 23 years this year. My son married a girl who's parents just celebrated 27 yrs. and both sets of her grandparents are passed 50 years as well.
I'd love to give some advice on a sure fire way to make it work, but I can't put a finger on it. If I could I'd write a book and make some money.
my parents in late 80s married solid
my wifes parents same way !
wife and I are on that path ! and cant see if changing ! a majority our friends are like this so far
also realizing its not all perfect and people argue and have to forgive and accept that !
but rules such as cheating and other things cant be crossed ! IMHO its usually cause people are selfish and self centered this happens ! one side or both !
marriage is a religious thing though and some now think its a legal thing ! and IMHO this needs to change in our system
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