View Full Version : MI-6 Impersonator Making Me Angry
I have a neighbor who is the bullshitting king of bullshitters, but he has gone too far with me this time. Two years ago he came over nearly in tears because he said his "SF unit", active in the 80's, was being recalled to Iraq. Despite my skepticism, I handed him one of my M4's and said "you better get used to one of these again". He held it as though it were foreign, and couldn't even pull the action back. He blamed the lack of operational knowledge of the weapon on the fact he carried a Barret .50. :rolleyes:
At that point, I was certain he was a fraud. And, I resent him taking my time up to spew such lies. He knows to leave me alone, for the most part.
But then came the last incident. After becoming upset over a parking issue with another neighbors car, he claimed that the car was in the name of her deceased husband who died 3 years ago. He then said that he was going to report this to the police and have the car towed. Of course, he couldn't even wait to then tell me how he knew this earth shattering information.
Out pops he a black badge holder, and inside that is a colored, plastic MI-6 ID card and a badge unlike any other I had ever seen. I am almost positive I recognized the photo as one recently used in a small local paper when he ran for a position on the local school board (which was another joke). He says "I had them run the tag". He then says "Yeah, I didn't want to tell anyone what I do, but I know you are cool with things like this".
This man sits home 7 days per week with his wife and 2 daughters. He has no English accent. He was arrested for fraud 3 years ago. He is gone maybe 3 evenings per week now to "manage" the one of the local Halloween stores, from what he said. Otherwise, he lives off an inheritance and knows nothing. Could he even possibly believe that I am so dumb? Or, is he one of those mental patients who somehow gets by in society despite themselves?
I was wondering if anyone here has any idea as to how I can make him pay for such outrageous lies, but maybe in a fun sort of way. I don't want to hurt him so much legally for impersonation, as then his kids will pay the bigger price in the end. Plus, is it even illegal to impersonate a British Secret Service agent in America?
Any ideas for this bozo? He needs to be taught a lesson.
30 cal slut
10-06-08, 15:58
weeeeelllll...next time you see ask him if he likes his martinis shaken or stirred.
if he picks the latter, you know he's an old milwaukee swillin' imposter.
:D
Where's James Bond when you need him?
Find someone with a British accent. Have him study up
on the British Intelligence unit MI-6 until he can speak
intelligently about it.
http://www.sis.gov.uk/output/sis-home-welcome.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Secret_Intelligence_Service
Tell your impersonator friend that you've found a fellow
MI-6 agent and you know he would just love to meet and
talk with him.
Invite the "new" impersonator over to meet the "old"
impersonator.
Of course your "new" impersonator will be in on the joke
and will ask embarassing questions to expose the fraud.
The larger the crowd the better.
I assume you meant "MI-6" Not "M-16".
Send him some Cryptic notes, the kind with the letters that are cut and pasted from a
magazine or newspaper. Make up some weird shit that might freak him out...
The guy sounds like a real piece of work.
I love trapping people like this.
Plant your trap well and let him step deep in to it before you
spring it. That way there is nowhere for him to run, and you
will have him dead to rights and can expose him for the
fraud he really is.
KyAKGuy
Cheap red LED count down timer
Black electrical tape
Road flares
Random bits of wire, different colors
Video recorder set up out of sight
Call him up, ask him to come over. When he arrives, show him the "device" with the timer ticking down from about 30 seconds. Hand him a pair of diagonal cutters and with a quivering voice, tell him it's totally on him to save you both!
Upload the resulting video to Youtube and share it with the rest of us. :D
I assume you meant "MI-6" Not "M-16".
Yes I did, thank-you.
Not that I give any credibility, but can anyone describe an MI-6 badge? For what it's worth, his was essentially the "logo" (MI-6) in a circular pattern. I swear I looked at it for all of 2-3 seconds, as once I saw MI-6 I was out. Could be from anywhere, but just curious as to the design.
It's more commonly known today as the Secret Intelligence Service (SIS),
not MI-6.
http://www.sis.gov.uk/output/sis-or-mi6-what-s-in-a-name.html
Your secret agent friend should know all this stuff.
Did his badge look anything like their coat of arms?
It's more commonly known today as the Secret Intelligence Service (SIS),
not MI-6. They have a coat of arms. I've never seen a badge.
Your secret agent friend should know all this stuff.
I am aware of the insignia that you likely speak of. A blue, triangular pattern that I believe is made in badge form.
Of course, I would not count on my secret agent friend to actually know anything. Just commenting on his antics, and possibly looking to teach him a lesson.
Just commenting on his antics, and possibly looking to teach him a lesson.
Personally I wouldn't. Right now you have a slightly insane neighbor who thinks you are his friend, after exposing him you will have an angry and insane neighbor who now believes that you are his enemy.
He may even discover that you work for SPECTRE...
just curious what his wife and kids are like ?
man if that was my dad I would be so embarrassed poor wife and kids
I would do what b saan said :) and do nothing
but I love tungsten reply made me laugh :)
Send him some Cryptic notes, the kind with the letters that are cut and pasted from a
magazine or newspaper. Make up some weird shit that might freak him out...
The guy sounds like a real piece of work.
I love trapping people like this.
Plant your trap well and let him step deep in to it before you
spring it. That way there is nowhere for him to run, and you
will have him dead to rights and can expose him for the
fraud he really is.
KyAKGuy
Interesting, but maybe a bit involved. :)
And now I must wonder, what are the benefits of cornering him? I could have with the SF story, as he was long past recall time. But, he is my neighbor, and my little boy and his daughter are very close. Therefore, I will likely put my son's interests over mine.
Make no mistake, to avoid him I am now a master of suddenly getting a cell phone call when I see him pop through his door when I am outside. He just caught me off guard last time, and of course I paid for it.
Sidewinder6
10-06-08, 20:04
Report him to the Bureau. He is repugnant and who knows what else he is doing. His home country also needs to be aware of him. You never know, he may have a visa irregularity. (If you are lucky)
CarlosDJackal
10-06-08, 20:33
Well, I don't think you can do anything about the MI-6 crap. But he did say that was once in an SF unit. If I remember correctly, the SFA or some other organization has a way of checking someone's story. The next time he comes over to bug you, ask him which SF unit he was in and what years. Then pass said information on for investigation.
Personally, I'd just avoid the nutcase and leave him to his world of fantasy.
K.L. Davis
10-06-08, 20:44
Ask him what color the boathouse is at Hereford?
Try these guys (http://www.professionalsoldiers.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=117) to see about the SF comments
Intuition tells me he is full of shit. If you go to www.socnet.com and post and intro and then explain the story of el douche bag they have the ability to check his creds. You will need a name, approx age or DOB, and anything else that you can get. You may also be able to report him to the FBI since he is portraying himself as a member of an intelligence organization. They can keep it confidential.
If you've got proof to the contrary, just call him on it. Politely and discreetly. Tell him he's going to get himself in deep if the wrong people get wind of his lies. Best case scenario, some genuine SF gentleman hits the reset on his resumé; worst case, he flashes a pretend badge in the wrong place at the wrong time and it lands him in legal trouble.
He's got a family, lives next door to you, and your kid plays with his kid. You sound like you don't want to cause problems there and the last thing you need is a pissed-off butt-hurt crazy living next door with possible access to your family.
Of course, if you can arrange a "black-op" to bag him and drop him off in the middle of no-where, True Lies style, then that'd be funny too ;)
Ask him what color the boathouse is at Hereford?
The first time I ever dealt with people from there, it took me all of 30 seconds before I asked them that question. They just gave me this look. You know the look someone gives an idiot when he asks an idiotic question for an idiotic reason? That was the look. :cool:
As for Secret Agent Man, I'd just leave well enough alone. Sounds like he's not hurting anyone. As others have pointed out, he's going to be your neighbor afterwards, so anything you do that makes him turn against you is just going to make your life more difficult.
The woman two doors down from me used to date a guy who claimed he was both an FBI agent and a CIA agent .. simultaneously. Whenever he talked to me about his exploits, I'd just give him this look. You know, the look someone gives an idiot when ...
As for Secret Agent Man, I'd just leave well enough alone. Sounds like he's not hurting anyone. As others have pointed out, he's going to be your neighbor afterwards, so anything you do that makes him turn against you is just going to make your life more difficult.
I agree. Understand, I am not the type to normally allow such a blatant liar to go unchallenged, even if he is 6' 5" and about 260lbs. I am 6' 1" and a lean 210lbs myself, and will stand up for what's right to anyone, but this situation is unique for the reasons mentioned prior. Seems like the negatives outweigh the positives as far as exposing his horseshit.
The worst part about him is his lack of humility being the habitual liar that he is. He could at least hang his damn head in shame so of the time, rather than always coming off as the confident know-it-all of know-it-alls. So very disturbing, but really not my concern unless one of his lies targets my son or myself I suppose.
The first time I ever dealt with people from there, it took me all of 30 seconds before I asked them that question. They just gave me this look. You know the look someone gives an idiot when he asks an idiotic question for an idiotic reason? That was the look. :cool:
From the context of the question, you should have known it is a loaded question. At least they answered it correctly. ;)
We all know this guy is a fake, I would just tell I know he is FOS and move on with life.
There are posers everywhere. They can be amusing to toy with. In the end, though, if he isn't defrauding someone, gaining rights or privilieges, or elected offices, he's another assclown wasting oxygen.
I'm not opposed to helping protect the integrity and honor of certain folks, orgs, etc, but there's a time and place for the effort.
The cautions on dealing with likely EDPs, like him, are sound.
CarlosDJackal
10-07-08, 13:28
This reminds me of a story my fellow Mortar Maggots from the Great White North once told me about a Medic who was so obviously full of shit that they couldn't stand them (Medics tend to hang around the Mortar Platoon a lot. I always wondered if it was some sort of "vulture syndrome" - they were waiting for one of us to screw up and giv them something to do). So, one day during an FTX, one of our guys had finally had enough of "doc" (as all our Medics were called) and decided to mess with him. Doc was going on and on about the Alaskan wildlife and how he could shoot Ptarmigans in flight with a pistol (or something like that). My best recollection of the conversation (as told to me by one of the SSGs in 1987) is as follows:
Doc: Yeah, I can hit those Ptarmigans in mid-flight with my Smith and Wesson .38 Special five out of six times...
Sp4 T: Hey Doc, have you every hunted those flightless birds that are kinda like the Alaskan Roadrunners? I think they're call "Malamores"?
Doc: (Looking at Sp4 Maggot inquisitively) Yeah, I think I have but what do they look like?
Sp4 T: You know, they're white and brown and run along the ground pretty fast.
Doc: Yeah-yeah. They look kinda like "Kiwis"?
Sp4 T: Those are the ones!!
Doc: Yeah, those things are hard to hit!!
Sp4 T: I know. Just when you get a bead on one, they jump up into the air...
Doc: Yeah....
Sp4 T: ... and they come straight down beak first...
Doc: Yeah....
Sp4 T: ... right into a snow bank!!
Doc: Yeah, those things are a sight to see.
Sp4 T: Have you ever heard the noise they make?
Doc: Yeah, they're pretty loud.
Sp4 T: (Maintaining a very straight face) Loud? You can hear them for a "mile-or-more"!!
Everyone else in the tent: *Rolling on the ground, laughing their butts off with tears in their eyes*
Doc: Yeah-yeah... (finally realizing that he's been had).
Doc turned red, grabbed his stuff, and trudged out into the snow to the HQ Platoon tent. They told me that he never did hang out with the Maggots after that.
SP4 T (I only remember his last name and what he looks like with those Army-issued birth-control glasses) ETS'd in early January 1986 just after I was assigned into the unit. He was some character!! :)
IroquoisSnakePlissken
10-07-08, 18:40
His personality is fueled by rapt attention. Apparently his home life is so dull, and so boring, that he, in a very sophomoric/arrested-development, type of manner, has grasped onto fabricating absolute, and total horseshit, to try and at least reach out to someone for attention.
Attention's the fuel for his fire, so-to-speak...
Give him none. Nothing will break his spirit worse than you just not even dignifying his fantasies with even so much as a rebuttal.
It will also frustrate him to no end, quite possibly causing him to self-reflect, and see the absolute tomfoolery he's been weaving. Maybe he'd finally grow up.
You should be flattered, he obviously values your opinion of him, thusly crafting his yarns, and hurling them your way.
Or, maybe he's really just the world's most bumbling spy.
Ask him what color the boathouse is at Hereford?
Try these guys (http://www.professionalsoldiers.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=117) to see about the SF comments
Ronin was a great movie:D
The first time I ever dealt with people from there, it took me all of 30 seconds before I asked them that question. They just gave me this look. You know the look someone gives an idiot when he asks an idiotic question for an idiotic reason? That was the look. :cool:
As for Secret Agent Man, I'd just leave well enough alone. Sounds like he's not hurting anyone. As others have pointed out, he's going to be your neighbor afterwards, so anything you do that makes him turn against you is just going to make your life more difficult.
The woman two doors down from me used to date a guy who claimed he was both an FBI agent and a CIA agent .. simultaneously. Whenever he talked to me about his exploits, I'd just give him this look. You know, the look someone gives an idiot when ...
Did you explain to them where the question came from?
Did you explain to them where the question came from?
The whole reason I got the look was because not only were they well aware of where the question came from, each of them had apparently been asked the question approximately twelve billion times. And that's British billions, not U.S. billions. That's a lot.
As for Secret Agent Man, I'd just leave well enough alone. Sounds like he's not hurting anyone. As others have pointed out, he's going to be your neighbor afterwards, so anything you do that makes him turn against you is just going to make your life more difficult.
Exactly. I've never understood this NEED for people to "out" posers. It was really bad over on TOS. "I saw some dude at the range wearing a Navy Seal shirt...", etc. Who gives a ****?
It takes the bigger man to ignore the goofball and live a good life. :cool:
Exactly. I've never understood this NEED for people to "out" posers. It was really bad over on TOS. "I saw some dude at the range wearing a Navy Seal shirt...", etc. Who gives a ****?
It takes the bigger man to ignore the goofball and live a good life. :cool:
This is a far different situation than someone wearing a SEAL shirt, but I get your point and stated my non-intentions earlier.
That said, apparently he has been showing others the badge, including the woman who's car he has some fixation with (even though it isn't even near his home) and her son. Now he is bullying others in the neighborhood with it, and they don't know what to think. Well, I do, and I don't like it. He is going too far. This is an elderly widow he is after, and her son's Escalade was just keyed from front to back 2 days ago over this petty shit. They are nice, professional black people in a largely white neighborhood, and I believe that has much to do about everything. They are also my friends.
Another very good friend of mine is a 25 year veteran detective of the local police department. Hate to bother him with drama, but I will make a low key call and have my elderly neighbor speak with him. She saw the badge, let her pursue it. I wanted to ignore the fool, but it is now the right thing to do.
People in MI-6 (properly, the British Secret Intelligence Sevice) are usually under cover and don't go around waving around badges they don't carry and telling you where they work. SIS isn't going hire American citizens with fraud convictions, either. And a foreign intelligence service doesn't have access to US law enforcement information. In short, this is so preposterous it does make look this man sound more mentally unbalanced then just a plain old liar.
I'd guess I would just ignore him, except it sounds like he is starting to escalate-if he really is mentally unbalanced sounds like it could be really tough dealing with him. Good luck.
This is a far different situation than someone wearing a SEAL shirt, but I get your point and stated my non-intentions earlier.
That said, apparently he has been showing others the badge, including the woman who's car he has some fixation with (even though it isn't even near his home) and her son. Now he is bullying others in the neighborhood with it.....
It reminds me of that case where (I can't remember what state it happened in) the guy was telling his neighbors that he was a US Marshall. His behavior finally drew the police to his house where he started shooting at them. I think they gased the house, but it caught on fire. The nut job died in the house.
Yeah... there's range poser, and then there's dangerous types.
Sidewinder6
10-09-08, 13:10
The whole reason I got the look was because not only were they well aware of where the question came from, each of them had apparently been asked the question approximately twelve billion times. And that's British billions, not U.S. billions. That's a lot.
That is why they have them running all over Brecon Beacons looking for it :D
Or, maybe that was looking for a good restaurant.
IroquoisSnakePlissken
10-09-08, 17:02
Typically, you'll notice, that real pros don't flaunt their positions or status.
By the time they'd be to the point where they could flaunt it, the "magic" has already worn off, and they're simply performing a duty.
Is MI-6 real?
I thought that was just a James Bond thing...
I thought it was just MI-5?
But I admit I'm kinda lacking on the whole secret squirrel organizational thingy...
:rolleyes:
maybe he has been watching the BBC show Spooks or they call it MI-5 for the import version :)
very cool spy series and was cool to watch :) waiting for season six to come in to rental :)
Just wait until it's really dark one night and kick his ass... you will feel a lot better.
You should never have shown him your guns...
bigthunder223
10-09-08, 22:31
Whatever you do,don't hand him a gun again!Remember, crazy and harmless should never be used in the same sentence.
MI-6 exists, yes. The "MI -6" was kind of a cover name (Military Intelligence section 6) in WWII, IIRC, but it has stuck as an unofficial name. Its real name is the Secret Intelligence Service, or SIS. It is Britain's foriegn intelligence service. MI-5's real name is the Security Service, and it is the internal intelligence service. No law enforcement powers for either.
SIS officers overseas, like CIA officers, would be under cover, i.e. would pretend to be foreign service officers, perhaps businessmen, whatever. That is why it is so ludicrous that they would announce themselves and have a badge-it is more than being modest or discrete, it is a job requirement that you do not break your cover.
You should never have shown him your guns...
Looking back, I have considered the wiseness of this move once or twice myself. Usually I never show them to anyone except my closest friends, but when he had me sold on the re-enlistment thing for a moment I let my guard down. Stupid I know, but he has another good reason to leave me alone that I can't get into here.
Anyway, I did talk to my detective friend, who is due to speak with my neighbor and her son anytime (if he hasn't already). He said he did not know if it was illegal for him to represent MI-6 here, but how he used the badge and his intimidation factor would be closely scrutinized.
I did my part, now I move on.
Yep, move on. There are plenty of people walking around claiming to be something they're not. And no, pretending you're 007 isn't a crime. Perhaps using a fake badge is and your friend the cop can look into it.
A Christmas (or perhaps Boxing Day) gift idea.
http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/JAMES-BOND-007-SPY-SECRET-AGENT-MI6-ID-CARD-BADGE-SET_W0QQitemZ360090852935QQcmdZViewItem?hash=item360090852935&_trkparms=72%3A12|39%3A1|66%3A2|65%3A12|240%3A1318&_trksid=p3286.c0.m14
Sorry, there are not covert British operatives running around the US flashing their credentials. There are overt British intelligence officers stationed here, but they are not living down the street from you.
A Christmas (or perhaps Boxing Day) gift idea.
http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/JAMES-BOND-007-SPY-SECRET-AGENT-MI6-ID-CARD-BADGE-SET_W0QQitemZ360090852935QQcmdZViewItem?hash=item360090852935&_trkparms=72%3A12|39%3A1|66%3A2|65%3A12|240%3A1318&_trksid=p3286.c0.m14
Brilliant find, never thought of ebay. The ID card does looks very much like his, but I am almost certain the badge was a bit different. Less ornate, just circular letters from what I recall. But then again, I deliberately looked away in seconds feeling disgusted, so maybe it is the same one.
Brilliant find, never thought of ebay. The ID card does looks very much like his, but I am almost certain the badge was a bit different. Less ornate, just circular letters from what I recall. But then again, I deliberately looked away in seconds feeling disgusted, so maybe it is the same one.
You gotta know how the "enemy's" mind works. And the these guys shop on e-bay.
Get yourself a Jack Bauer badge and you two can have some real covert fun. ;)
Firecop203
10-13-08, 17:49
Call Homeland Security and tell them that you've been contacted by a "Foreign Agent". He should be on the next flight to Cuba.
Ridge_Runner_5
10-14-08, 13:38
Cheap red LED count down timer
Black electrical tape
Road flares
Random bits of wire, different colors
Video recorder set up out of sight
Call him up, ask him to come over. When he arrives, show him the "device" with the timer ticking down from about 30 seconds. Hand him a pair of diagonal cutters and with a quivering voice, tell him it's totally on him to save you both!
Upload the resulting video to Youtube and share it with the rest of us. :D
http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b100/89Sunbird/stupid/anim_rofl2.gif God yes!!
Cheap red LED count down timer
Black electrical tape
Road flares
Random bits of wire, different colors
Video recorder set up out of sight
Call him up, ask him to come over. When he arrives, show him the "device" with the timer ticking down from about 30 seconds. Hand him a pair of diagonal cutters and with a quivering voice, tell him it's totally on him to save you both!
Upload the resulting video to Youtube and share it with the rest of us. :D
Yes, it's funny, but the red highlighted part shows what the most difficult aspect of the scenario would be for me. A strict "No-No" if there ever was one.
Inviting him into my home is a certain invitation for disaster, in the form of more mind numbing babble of course.
fabulous45s
10-14-08, 21:31
Ask him what color the boathouse is at Hereford?
That's a running joke around my buddies and I! We always say that when there's an obvious flake,fraud, or someone with artificial lats syndrome.
i agree with todd g., the bible tells us to "not take up the useless word". stated another way, "rave on cat-shit,,you'll get covered yet".
RogerinTPA
10-14-08, 22:15
Yes, it's funny, but the red highlighted part shows what the most difficult aspect of the scenario would be for me. A strict "No-No" if there ever was one.
Inviting him into my home is a certain invitation for disaster, in the form of more mind numbing babble of course.
You can always show him the device attached to "his" vehicle though....then run like hell, remember, show him, then run!:p
PS: Don't forget to get it on video!
M1A2_Tanker
10-15-08, 00:37
I had a neighbor just like this growing up. (he forgot his lithium regularly)
Long story short, he told us he killed someone in a nearby suburb and to keep an eye out for cops! and give him a heads up. Not really being alarmed based on his many many other outragous lies I did some research on the net and newspaper and calls to police found that no killing took place. So we just went the that city's police station and grabbed a random officers contact card. The next time he came by we ( me, my girlfriend, my mother, and step father) gave him this big fake story how the police came by asking questions about the murder ect. ect. then gave him the card and told him he'd better get out of town or go to jail. Needless to say nothing ever happened, he didnt leave town, but best of all he never ever made up stories like this again nor said anything about this "murder". He knew that we knew. We just left it like that and still laugh our asses off about it today :D
you're caught in a pain in the ass situation.
personally, I'm not into all this passive-aggressive bullshit. i dont like "showing" people what you've got on your mind by coming up with gay little ways to do so without being direct.
i'll tell a man what im thinking in damn plain words. my advice would be to either leave it alone or be direct about it- tell him nobody believes his bullshit and that you'd rather he not really talk to you anymore.
I'll be the first to address the UNPLEASANTNESS of having to do this- it's ****ing awkward, uncomfortable, and a general pain in the ass. but sometimes necessary. I have a similar story that eventually had to be addressed in this manner. I did my best to ignore the ****er, didn't encourage any communication with me, and didn't entertain any of his stories, but eventually the lies started causing me real-life inconveniences, so i had to come out of left field with "I don't believe most of what comes out of your mouth, and i will not tollerate your lies affecting my life. don't talk to me or about me." it was difficult to do, but that was the only thing that shut him up and made stay the **** away from me.
as far as the legal implications of impersonating a foreign agent, I seriously doubt that is illegal in whatever state you're in. however, in my home state, the law reguarding "impersonating an officer" states that an individual violates the law by representing themselves as ANY figure with authority, "real OR INVENTED," and is attempting to act under the color of the law. In other words, I can walk around that state wearing a full police uniform, bright shiny badge, open-carry gun, and so long as i don't "stop" anyone, i'm breaking no law (I'm not a cop). but if I walk up to someone, show them a badge that says "federal nut-sucking agency" and cause them to believe I have some kind of authority and am currently exercising it, I am guilty of a crime.
all states have their own laws, though.
He's been convicted of fraud and you expect honesty? :p
SinnFéinM1911
10-15-08, 09:48
Kind of reminds me of this article..... Long Read, but humerious....
Merc Article (http://www.esquire.com/features/mercenary0607)
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.2.5 Copyright © 2024 vBulletin Solutions, Inc. All rights reserved.