View Full Version : The "Grey Man" Of The 21rst Century...
I've finally arrived.
I'm middle aged, a few pounds over ideal which hides my deadly "cat like ninja skills", rolling Tru Spec 24/7 polos and cargos in basic colors (usually black and khaki combos), some 5.11 type low boot and a USGI OD green M-65 coat just like Bill Maxwell had.
If it was 1985 I'd look like somebodies clueless dad. Just one problem.
No special ops beard, no tats, no oakleys (occasionally aviators), no vapes, no affliction gear and no multi colored (second childhood) hair style. And for the most part I'm the only one so I stand out as an obvious square but I still stand out.
Spent years developing the "nobody look" that only segments of the LE and CCW community would actually see and with everyone being a "special snowflake" I stand out like a white kid at a greek step show.
Your one of the few “normals” left. You’re not special and unique like everyone else.
So, aside from a few clothing choices (I prefer sneakers and jeans. Also no sunglasses) and age difference we're the same.
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Where do you guys live?
I generally slip on a one size too large light flannel or other long sleeve shirt over an untucked tee, with jeans or canvas work pants and Merril or Keen mid's. Sometimes I tuck in the tee and put on a pullover windjacket. I generally have on a ball cap, but nothing obviously firearms related.
Nobody gives me a second glance if I keep my yap shut, which is admittedly hard for me to do.
To me, a "Grey Man" doesn't stand out to anyone.
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To me, a "Grey Man" doesn't stand out to anyone.
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Yup. I have been accused of not being places, like meetings or events, only to have people say "sure he was..." or produce a roll....
Averageman
01-11-18, 12:15
If you want to know how in tune someone is, have them empty their pockets.
Hipsters aren't packing a large folder, flashlight, spare magazines and a hi cap pistol or a wallet with an attorneys business card inside.
If you want to know how in tune someone is, have them empty their pockets.
Hipsters aren't packing a large folder, flashlight, spare magazines and a hi cap pistol or a wallet with an attorneys business card inside.
Pretty much describes me except for the handgun. Have never had a need for much of that
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I reckoned the 21stCGM would have that bulletproof jacket willbrink posted about.
WickedWillis
01-11-18, 12:34
If you want to know how in tune someone is, have them empty their pockets.
Hipsters aren't packing a large folder, flashlight, spare magazines and a hi cap pistol or a wallet with an attorneys business card inside.
I agree completely. My pocket dump would include all of these, minus the attorney card but that is a great idea as well that I hadn't thought of.
As for myself, I have tattoos and gauged ears, slicked back hair, short on the sides. I wear wranglers and Levi's, every once in awhile dickies, or carharrt. Old navy shirts, or sports teams, bands, etc. I wear an Adidas jacket in the winter, as well as waterproof Keen's. Never any firearm related shirts or hats unless I am at the range, no stickers on my vehicles or home. If you didn't know me personally or hadn't seen me at a class you would not realize that I carry every day. Most of this is intentional by me. I don't want to be pegged as the guy that has a weapon, or knows how to use it.
I don't really pay it no nevermind.
I wear what I want and I go where I want and I do what I want and believe it or not folks actually know me and greet me by name.
I'm not secret squirrel. I'm just a guy living his life with his heart full of hopes.
If you asked me to empty my pockets I'd write you off as crazy, ignore you, and press on.
I'm the DGAF Man. With his amaaaaazing powers of indifference :p
WickedWillis
01-11-18, 12:47
I don't really pay it no nevermind.
I wear what I want and I go where I want and I do what I want and believe it or not folks actually know me and greet me by name.
I'm not secret squirrel. I'm just a guy living his life with his heart full of hopes.
If you asked me to empty my pockets I'd write you off as crazy, ignore you, and press on.
I'm the DGAF Man. With his amaaaaazing powers of indifference :p
This is what we should all call ourselves lol
I agree completely. My pocket dump would include all of these, minus the attorney card but that is a great idea as well that I hadn't thought of.
As for myself, I have tattoos and gauged ears, slicked back hair, short on the sides. I wear wranglers and Levi's, every once in awhile dickies, or carharrt. Old navy shirts, or sports teams, bands, etc. I wear an Adidas jacket in the winter, as well as waterproof Keen's. Never any firearm related shirts or hats unless I am at the range, no stickers on my vehicles or home. If you didn't know me personally or hadn't seen me at a class you would not realize that I carry every day. Most of this is intentional by me. I don't want to be pegged as the guy that has a weapon, or knows how to use it.
Okay, serious questions: You mention gauged ears. My thoughts on gauges are pretty much consistent with my generation's in general, in other words 'WTF?' LOL.
But, seriously, have you ever felt that folks disregarded your ability, ignored or avoided you because of your appearance?
A couple years ago, when gauging wasn't so common, when I saw a guy that was gauged out my thoughts were - he's either a craftsman of some type, a wicked smart IT guy, or okay with working at McDonald's as a career.
The world changes, we will probably have a sleeved and gauged President before I die, but long story short, wondered how the general acceptance is?
I remember a young girl (7 or 8ish) looking at my tattoo and saying 'Were you in jail?' Wonder if you ever got that type reaction.
Being under thirty myself, I've found the easiest way to not get noticed is to wear non form fitting polo's and jeans in the summer, and add a jacket of non tactical nature in the winter. Colors are a mix of black, gray and brown usually. I wear a hat with no logo's or bright colors. Shoes are usually a pair of Nike's in similar colors (no bright colors) or steel toe work boots (no tactical or hiking style boots). I usually wear a Columbia fleece jacket in gray or a slightly heavier version if the weather requires it or the occasional hoody but it's never brightly colored.
I don't wear any tactical clothing or put stickers on my vehicles or home.
I've noticed that one of the biggest indicators is your hair though (in combination with clothing). I'm bald and not Miitary or LEO but always seem to get asked what branch I'm in or if I'm a police officer. I've since started growing a little facial scruff instead of shaving and that seems to have stopped. There's something to be said about looking like a mid thirties boring dad. No one suspects you'd have a full size pistol, spare mag, folder, and SF E2D on your person.
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Averageman
01-11-18, 13:25
Yes dressing and living grey comes with people sometimes confused by the book being better than the cover.
But that makes life a lot more fun.
My ex used to say "Wait until you have to work in the real world.," as I approached retirement from the .mil.
I know the real world, I'm doing fine in it, I just don't let them make rules for me.
WickedWillis
01-11-18, 13:33
Okay, serious questions: You mention gauged ears. My thoughts on gauges are pretty much consistent with my generation's in general, in other words 'WTF?' LOL.
But, seriously, have you ever felt that folks disregarded your ability, ignored or avoided you because of your appearance?
A couple years ago, when gauging wasn't so common, when I saw a guy that was gauged out my thoughts were - he's either a craftsman of some type, a wicked smart IT guy, or okay with working at McDonald's as a career.
The world changes, we will probably have a sleeved and gauged President before I die, but long story short, wondered how the general acceptance is?
I remember a young girl (7 or 8ish) looking at my tattoo and saying 'Were you in jail?' Wonder if you ever got that type reaction.
So when I am looking at personal conduct, including what I wear, piercings tattoos, etc I have always made sure that the owner of the company was completely okay with it. I represent and am the face of his business at my location after all. He's an old school vet, very conservative, and he recently promoted me to the manager of the branch that I work at. So I run the location I am at. I have no tattoos that I cannot cover up if need be. And they are all tasteful, none make a political statement or are pin up nude chicks or anything that could be frowned upon. If he walked in tomorrow and said no more ear gauges, and I have to cover my tats, I would do it.
My gauges are on the small side, they aren't these huge plugs that leave a 1/4" hole in my lobes either. And I live in Idaho, so it's a very red state. Tattoos are widely accepted anymore as long as they are tasteful, but people are still leery about piercings and so on. But yeah it hasn't been a problem as of yet.
As I was reminded in the "What Would Stoner Do" thread, you shpuldnt totally judge people. I dont watch gun youtube stuff and I wrote off a guy as a hippie Ren Faire guy when he had a solid engineering degree and wrote books and all. His build was kinda lame but still...
I remember this one guy. He had a beard and curly hair and dark skin and rough hamds and he had some pretty far out ideas, and He died for our sins.
Just like Ted Bundy. Looks all slick like he was trustworthy and all. And he went on a multi-state rape-kill spree.
So.....ya never know.
Like remember First Blood? They should show the first 30 minutes in police academy
I think the "Grey Man" concept is one that is being lost... A little.
There is always those folks who prefer to be on their own and stay reserved for many reasons.
It's one of those things that isn't just as simple as how you're dressed, or what modifications you make to your body. Nowadays, in the age of every snowflake being unique, as long as you tread in a way that is inconspicuous, that is far more important.
Everyone is so blinded by their own bullshit nowadays, being that Grey Man is easier than ever. Gone are the days of Cold War Paranoia, little boxes on the hillside aren't so little anymore.
Don't get me wrong, pink hair, snake eye contacts, 2" gauges, and a unicorn jumping over a rainbow shirt might be conspicuous in vision. But, how much attention do you pay to them? Think about that.
We're not a part of the days where a tucked in shirt, dapper-danned hair, a dress that fell beneath the knees, or what-have-you, are the standard; people don't really stand out from the "Norm" because our "Norms" are so scattered. There are so many "unique" looking people nowadays, what actually stands out? Sure, we may look at them and go: "Woah, wtf." but, how many people look at anyone and think that same concept?
What stands out is behaviour, pre-attack cues, idiocy cues, reckless people, boisterous extroverted actions.
Otherwise, the rest is damn near moot nowadays because no one cares about You.
To many phones, to much motion. The grey men may notice the grey men. But that's because it goes back to the root: Behaviour.
So when I am looking at personal conduct, including what I wear, piercings tattoos, etc I have always made sure that the owner of the company was completely okay with it. I represent and am the face of his business at my location after all. He's an old school vet, very conservative, and he recently promoted me to the manager of the branch that I work at. So I run the location I am at. I have no tattoos that I cannot cover up if need be. And they are all tasteful, none make a political statement or are pin up nude chicks or anything that could be frowned upon. If he walked in tomorrow and said no more ear gauges, and I have to cover my tats, I would do it.
My gauges are on the small side, they aren't these huge plugs that leave a 1/4" hole in my lobes either. And I live in Idaho, so it's a very red state. Tattoos are widely accepted anymore as long as they are tasteful, but people are still leery about piercings and so on. But yeah it hasn't been a problem as of yet.
Thanks!
Ran across this a while back--had a hell of a time remembering what it was called: The Law of Jante...Sort of "How Not To Be Uppity".
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Law_of_Jante
You're not to think you are anything special.
You're not to think you are as good as we are.
You're not to think you are smarter than we are.
You're not to imagine yourself better than we are.
You're not to think you know more than we do.
You're not to think you are more important than we are.
You're not to think you are good at anything.
You're not to laugh at us.
You're not to think anyone cares about you.
You're not to think you can teach us anything.
Forgive me but Heru Mew and Wicked Whatchoo Talkin' bout Willis' threads made me think of this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yUgRSmo50gE
WickedWillis
01-11-18, 15:26
Thanks!
No problem bud. I get where you were coming from.
Forgive me but Heru Mew and Wicked Whatchoo Talkin' bout Willis' threads made me think of this
Not only Forgiven, but I am flattered that my commentary would entice some of the best Filmography before my time with the Lost Boys. Entertaining song, nonetheless.
Or it's gone so far over my head, I am too ignorant to realize it's my own demise.
ETA:
Ran across this a while back--had a hell of a time remembering what it was called: The Law of Jante...Sort of "How Not To Be Uppity".
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Law_of_Jante
You're not to think you are anything special.
You're not to think you are as good as we are.
You're not to think you are smarter than we are.
You're not to imagine yourself better than we are.
You're not to think you know more than we do.
You're not to think you are more important than we are.
You're not to think you are good at anything.
You're not to laugh at us.
You're not to think anyone cares about you.
You're not to think you can teach us anything.
Where's our Like button when we need it?
ramairthree
01-11-18, 15:59
I was watching an episode of Top Gear where James May goes over 250mph in a Bugatti.
Afterwards he was standing there talking about it with his cohosts and a kid went by,
And was like, hey Dad, you are on TV.
So I guess I make a fairly lame old white dude grey man.
The law of Jante crap might be a way to blend in, but it is not a way to live life.
WickedWillis
01-11-18, 16:09
Forgive me but Heru Mew and Wicked Whatchoo Talkin' bout Willis' threads made me think of this
Lol damn good chit. Before my time but awesome.
Forget Gray Man, I am the "flannel man". Outside of work where it's khakis and polos or button down shirt, I am the non-descript scruffy, middle-aged guy in faded Levis and flannel shirt. Moabs for kicks, no hats,tats or piercings. No jewelry, besides a plain wedding band. My vehicles are 14 and 22 years old, and nothing flashy. I make a decent salary, but you'd never know it by looking at me. About the only time I get noticed is if I've got our Dane with me - she tends to draw attention.
Grey going white almost 70. Only two types ever notice me. The rare wistful look from the guy in a van full of ‘rats at my 18 year old Land Cruiser and common wistful look from teen-20’s dudes when I’m burning gears in my Fiesta ST. Otherwise I’m invisible.
I've noticed that one of the biggest indicators is your hair though
Hair, posture/movement, speech cadence.
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