Funny gun story about yourself

[The Dumb Gun Collector]

How about this for a thread? Tell a funny story about yourself involving guns. Preferably something where you yourself look silly. Nothing mean about anyone else. I'll start.



Approximately 20 years ago, my buddy Wes had one of the first Scandium .357 J-frames I had ever seen. He called me complaining that it recoiled too much. I, being an ass, basically said something condescending about "recoil is in your mind." Wes made little comment. Anyway, a few weeks later we were at the range and he was shooting his "wristbuster" S&W 360 PD which weighs about 11 oz. This approximately half the weight of a Glock 19 and it shoots .357 magnum. He says, "hey, want to shoot my revolver?" I hardly ever turn down free bullets so I am like "yessir!" Anyhoo, what I did not know was that my good buddy Wes had loaded Corbon +P+ loads into his gun (his self-defense round!!). I fire off the first round. BLLLLLLLAAAAAAMMMM!! An electric sting shoots up my list and the web of my hand is stinging. I think to myself, "Dang! That is stout. Lemme grip it a little harder." Round 2 BLAAM. My hand hurts. Round 3 BLAM . "F THIS!" Wes , laughing "wait, I thought 'recoil is in your mind'"!?

LOL, I totally deserved it.

[Firefly]

I was at a more advanced handgun course where it was steel pop ups on them pneumatic things. It was a lot of flash shooting and one handed shooting and sorta unforgiving and you had to make hits count otherwise you failed and wasted a week and had to go back to your dept hat in hand explaining why you failed.

Context aside, I was down a few points on one of the harder relays and was on the line of passing and maybe not.

Anyways I kinda panicked, slammed that mag home in holster during the one handed only support hand where you kinda reholster strong side but backwards kinda like a cross draw and I full on drew and let fly homeboy style kinda sweeping from right to left. You could load as much ammo and manage your magazines as you wanted but no 33 rounders or snail drums or anything crazy. But I had a +2 base.

I nailed the one target I needed for that ridiculously tough course of fire and was able to pick up on the last two CoFs but that one defiant display earned me the moniker of “gangsta G” the rest of the class.

I was a TRYING to do the normal one handed cant but was afraid of going too slow and just let fly total Tupac style.

Not my proudest moment but not my worst either.

But then there was that time with the STG 58 and that horrid Indian surplus ammo but that was more sad than amusing

[GH41]

Mine is stupider than that. In the early 70s I lived on Tybee Island Georgia. It's an island about 15 miles and 3 bridges east of Savannah. My go to carry gun was a nickel plated officers model I bought from Mac's Gun Shop on HWY 80. Anyway,, between the Bull River and Lazaretto Creek bridges on the south side of the highway were marsh and mudflats for at least 3-4 miles. Back then there wasn't much canned beer and no regard at all for littering. The discarded bottles would float around steered by the wind and tide. When the tide fell most of the semi floating bottles would settle on the mudflat sitting upright. Can't tell you how many I stopped and shot with a High Standard 22LR pistol. Cut to the chase... Heading home one night all conditions were perfect. Low angle sunlight form the west, no wind, dead low tide and dozens of bottles on the flat. I decided to hunt with the 45. Nobody wore hearing protection back then but not too many shot a 45 from the driver's seat out of the passenger window of a VW Bug. It hurt so bad I had to sit 5-10 minutes before driving home.

[ABNAK]

Shouldn't even admit to this, but here goes:

Back in 1987, right after I got out of the Army, my grandfather bought me an M1 Garand. I had shot it a couple of times, so knew how to use it. One Saturday night my ex and I were getting ready to go out for the night (we lived at my ex-MIL's house, she wasn't home that night thank God!). The ex was in the bathroom doing her hair and I was in the bedroom playing with my Garand, killing time until we left. Bedroom door was closed. I loaded a clip into the rifle and began to unload it round by round, jacking the ammo onto the bed as I did so. I was counting "....six, seven...." then for some reason the clip popped out and I stopped counting; must've thrown me off I guess. Instead of visually checking the chamber I let the bolt go forward and was going to put the gun back in it's box and get dressed. To this day I always store a gun with it's trigger pulled (long-term pressure off the spring). I was turning around to put the rifle back in the box and clicked the trigger. Rifle was pointed up fortunately.


BOOM!!!



I was only wearing a pair of shorts, no underwear, and was sitting on the bed. The HOT spent shell dropped onto my thigh and rolled into the leg of the shorts, coming to rest on my pecker. Of course between the deafening noise and searing heat on my junk I jumped up and the shell fell out. The room had a little pall of smoke and smelled like a shooting range. My ears were ringing as I stood there in shock. The bedroom door flew open and the ex was standing there apparently bitching at me but all I could hear was REEEEEEE. As my hearing returned she said she heard the shot while in the bathroom and yelled my name, but I didn't answer (I couldn't hear!). She thought I shot myself!

The 30.06 AP bullet had gone straight up through the ceiling and on out the roof, heading for the stars. We took a little toothpaste and covered the neat little hole in the bedroom ceiling but had to tear a piece of shingle to cover the somewhat larger hole in the roof. To this day I still wonder if there were leaks in the ceiling later on (I moved out less than a year later).

[26 Inf]

I was carrying a .45 on duty for the cool factor - got to be honest.

Each day before work I religiously did at least 10 draws to fire - this was doubly important because of the .45's safety and the fact that I normally carried a revolver.

On this day I was alone in the house, my family - wife and son - were visiting her mother over the Labor Day weekend.

I was doing my draws in the kitchen aiming at a picture on the dining room wall. My magazines and plus up rounds were laying on the dining room table. I was just finishing when the phone rang, it was my Grandmother. I talked with her holding the phone into my ear with a shoulder as I loaded, topped off and put my carry mags in the pouch.

After I got done, I hung up the phone, and went back to doing what I had been doing before Grandma called. Best...shot...ever.

I about shit and threw up at the same time. The picture I had been aiming at was one of my son, and the wall it was hanging on went into our bathroom, which I had just paid a guy 5,000 dollars I didn't have to remodel (this was 1978ish). I ran into the bathroom, the tub wall was intact. Took a couple breathes and went to work.

The next day I patched the hole in the wall, moved everything out of the dining room and completely repainted the dining room, leaving the patched spot for last. I went to my sister's and got her copy of my son's picture. Left the windows open for two days to get the new paint smell gone, night before wife was due back I had a shift party to make sure - a couple of the guys smoked, and this was before you took that crap outdoors.

I was golden. Wife never knew what had happened, until......about three weeks later I got to feeling guilty and told her. Stupidest thing I' ever done. Telling her, that is.

[Doc Safari]

When I first got into guns about 25 years ago I had one if those SKS's that accepts AK mags. I took it to my buddy's house to show him.

Of course his girlfriend and her six kids wanted to see it too. So in best macho ninja fashion I went to clear it in front of them.

Trouble is I didn't take the magazine out first. With all of them watching I pointed it at the floor, racked the charging handle, and dropped the hammer.

BLAM!.

I blew a hole in the floor of their mobile home.

With the smoke from that corrosive ammo filling the air they just all stared at me as I apologized profusely.

A few months later the lady's teenaged son was playing with matches and burned their trailer to the ground, so my dumbass stunt was finally forgotten.

[AndyLate]

I was foolish enough to load up some max .45-70 "Marlin Only" IMR 3031/400gr. loads and fire them off the bench in my Guide Gun wearing a t-shirt. 12 gauge, 30-06, 7mm Mag recoil doesn't bother me much at all, but after the 7th shot with the Guide Gun I couldn't lift it with my right hand. My buddy shot it once, cussed at me and said he was done.

Andy

[THCDDM4]

To this day only my wife knows this story. Good time to share it I guess.

I was reloading a LOT of ammo with a buddy of mine who has since passed away. We would do a weekend session of loading every now and then and really get a lot done.

Like most guys, we like fire, pyro at heart. So we would mess around burning up powder to light his cigarettes and just for shits and giggles.

After a long session I lined up some powder in the shape of a penis on the concrete floor and lit it up.

I had enough residual powder on my pants that they lit up like a MF’er! Singed all my leg hair off and gave me quite a scare. Laughed my ass off at it and my buddy literally pissed himself laughing during the commotion.

I got the pants off before any real damage/burns were done although i did have a few areas that were lightly burned and I needed ointment to treat for a week or so.

First thing I did once the remaining patches of my pants were off was grab my manhood and pray to god- all was fine, my boxers saved my dingus.

Good times.

[Doc Safari]

"Boxers saved my dingus..."

I about pissed myself laughing at that one.

[VIP3R 237]

This what when I was living with my parents for a bit. My brother and I were hanging out in my room playing with guns and talking shit. I picked up my .22lr pistol and aimed at the video game character that was on the TV and BOOM nailed him right in the eye. The round didn’t penetrate the tv entirely and luckily was stopped by the internal frame. But Oh shit, dad is going to kill us. So we hurry and drive to Best Buy and find the exact same model of tv and rush home and get it installed before anyone noticed.

[kwelz]

I 3D Printed a new right side safety for my CZ Scorpion.
It is made so that when the lever is down across the trigger the safety is on. That way when you push your finger forward onto the trigger you can take the safety off at the same time.

55258

It works really well by the way.

Regardless. I was testing functionality with a "snap cap"

And here is the results.....

55259

To be clear. The safety works just fine. My brain apparently doesn't

[eightmillimeter]

Not my story but a friend of mine used the shop vac from his reloading room to suck an ash pile out of the bottom of a pellet grill smoker. There was an ember somewhere in the mix and the resulting fire and explosion was similar to the story noted above. He was wearing shorts and the burns were quite severe.

My story:

So I was out at a public range all by myself one afternoon sighting in a new muzzle loader. It was iron sights only so I started at 25, and things were going well. I moved my target to the 100 and then turned to the side to load up a new shot. I was still wearing my plugs out of habit. After the lengthy loading procedure I sat down on the bench, dropped the breech block, inserted a fresh 209, and then cocked the hammer as I settled on target. All of a sudden I see some motion out of the corner of my eye. Low and behold there is some dude walking down range about the 100 and walking towards the 200. He was only maybe 30 feet to the side of me but already 100 yards downrange. I pointed into the side berm, decocked as slow as I could, and then pulled out the primer. The earpro kept me from hearing this guy pull into the lot.

[Alex V]

When I got my first AR I had no idea about the whole 14.5" pinned muzzle device thing. I wanted to install a rail which would use the factory barrel nut but required the removal of the Delta ring. After 20 minutes of trying to remove the muzzle device I realized something was wrong and e-mailed the manufacturer. Oh, it's welded on you say? Well, that explains why the penetrating oil didn't work. Time to break out the cut-off wheel...

[Buckaroo]

Bought my 1st semi-auto pistol during the magazine limit years. Called the manufacturer to find out why I had 10 round magazines when their website indicated that the gun was designed for 15. I'm sure they all got a good laugh at my ignorance.

Sent from my Pixel using Tapatalk

[m1a_scoutguy]

Well, this is "kinda' a gun story or at least my 1st one before I ever really owned a real gun! I was 12/13 or so and we had gone to Gettysburg National Park that Summer and along with all the normal tourist stuff I bought a Mini/Replica Civil war cannon. You know the brass,cast kind, it had a brass/gold color barrel, set of wheels etc,typical toy cannon I guess. Well I had this great ideal and found a few of my Dad's shotgun shells and proceded to cut them apart. I poured powder from the shells into the BBL and then packed it best I could and poured some of the BBs down the BBL and tamped them some also. Set up a piece of carboard a few feet away and then attempted to light it through the flash hole at the back of the cannon. Well after many attemps and a final try after taking a paperclip and cleaning the flash hole I felt like it was gonna work this time ! Well it did !! The dam thing must of finally lit/caught and it blew into a millon pieces ! I was deaf and my ears were ringing like mad and was luckiy I didn't loose a eye or both and get shrapenal in my face or who knows where ! Needless to say there were no BB holes in the carboard a few feet away ! Lucky for me it was Summer and both my Mom & Dad were at work so I cleaned everything up and went about my bussness for the day. I guess I was lucky I didn't go blind or loose any fingers. Told my Cousin about it a few weeks later who was always my partner in crime back then,,he just laughed and called me a dumb ass,,,LOL :)

[contax_shooter]

Some German lady spit on my lip on the plane and then fell asleep with crumbs all over her shirt.

[Firefly]

Some German lady spit on my lip on the plane and then fell asleep with crumbs all over her shirt.

Unless you shot her in the foot or pistol whipped her, it doesn't count bruh

[jpmuscle]

Some German lady spit on my lip on the plane and then fell asleep with crumbs all over her shirt.

Tell us why you got punched in the face by an authority figure.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[elephant]

I have 2 stories:


My dad use to travel from Dallas to Houston every Monday to go visit his Houston location and he would spend the night. When I turned 12, my dad had the "talk" with me and told me that when he was away, I was the man of the house. He bought me my first shotgun, a New England single shot 20 gauge and a Browning Buckmark 22 caliber pistol. He taught me about gun safety and it was at this time he told me I could say the "f" word around him because he thought of me as a "man" and not a little boy. I think he felt that way because I started working for him during the summer when I was 12- which is the age he started working. Anyways, I was allowed to keep both shotgun and pistol in my roof with a box of shells and a small box of 22 bullets.

One night, my parents were out with friends and I was home alone and playing around with my Buckmark and accidently fired it into the floor (2nd story) and the bullet exited my parents ceiling in there bedroom (right beside the fan) and went into there bed, leaving a small hole in the comforter, sheets and mattress.

To say I was scared shitless was an understatement. I knew my parents would be home around 11pm and it was 7:30 so I had a few hours to come up with a story and patch a hole in the ceiling. So being only 12-13 and not able to drive, I had to patch the hole with whatever my parents had. I used Crisco because it was white and I could make it look professional. So I used Crisco and a spatula and made it look half way decent, their ceiling was actually an off white and the Crisco stood out but only if you were to stare at it. There was nothing I could do about the sheets or comforter, I figured I would just play stupid if I was asked about it but I knew the hole in the mattress would make my parents think.

My parents got home at around 11 and my dad as usual, went and laid in bed and turned on TV while my mom watched TV in the other room. About 10 minutes later, my dad yells for me to come down. Im scared to death, hoping that I would have some type of heart attach or something to get out of it. My dad was laying in bed and looked right at me and said "when did you start doing general contracting work"? I tried to play stupid but it didn't work. He asked me "did you shoot a hole into my ceiling". I said yes and that I tried as best to cover it up and once I told him that I used Crisco, he started laughing. He got out of bed and said follow me, we went into his closet and he showed his closet wall behind his jeans, there was bout 8 small holes in the wall. He said , " I do it all the time".

And so, him and I had about a 20 minute gun safety meeting in his closet and he forgave me and told me not to tell my mom. He never brought it up again.




In 2004-2005, I burned down the Bass Pro Shops rifle range: Quick story: I had a and older Browning 30-06 with a Zeiss scope on it and was getting it sighted in. The exhaust to the rifle tube was malfuncting and they had turned it off. I fired one round and a fire started in the rear of the tube and quickly went down the entire tube into the chamber where I was. The attendant was out in the store area and a lady started screaming when she saw that I was locked in. After about 20-30 seconds, I was let out. My gun stock melted, scope was smoked out, sling was burned up as well as the entire gun range. The fire marshal stated that the ventilation system was not operating and that is what caused the fire. I was treated for minor burns and smoke inhalation.

I got a call from the owner of Bass Pro shops that day: He asked if I was going to get lawyers involved and I said no. He said he would take care of me to show me how thankful he was that I didn't get hurt. And he did. Bass Pro Shops send me a check along with some gift cards within a week.

[Straight Shooter]

About 1977-78, I was 12-13 years old. Had a Remington 788 24" .243 in gun rack above my bed headboard. I kept the three round mag loaded in the gun, as critters were always popping up out back on the farm, but never a round in the chamber.
Also, at that time..had the terribly bad habit of reaching up to get that rifle with my finger in the trigger guard.
Went to get the rifle one day, and as I was taking it down...BOOM!!! I was literally stunned, shell-shocked, and every other adjective you can think of. I was also SCARED TO DEATH. My dad was in the shower 15 feet away. Mama was in the kitchen not much further. It blew a hole in the wall just under a shelf, never found an exit. Blew out the light bulb and cracked my bedroom window. AND THEY NEVER HEARD IT. I came out ready for an ass whippin...nothin. So, I never said nothing. So, I was pissed at myself for leaving a round in the chamber for a long time. About a month later, my brother, who knows as much about firearms/shooting as I do Chinese math..said "oh yeah.."the other day" I borrowed your rifle to shoot a groundhog in the garden, but he ran off before I could shoot him".
He had loaded the damn rifle, then put it back on the rack with safety off...above my bed. He didnt know what a safety is or was.
Fast forward about 20-21 years, and my parents were selling the farm, getting ready to move. I took pop into the bedroom & showed him the bullet hole in the wall that had been there for so long. He about shit! It was funny, & I laid blame directly on my brother for un-authorized handling of my rifle.
That really helped me to begin to stop putting my finger in/on a trigger for no reason.