View Full Version : The Secret of Living Well...
Something my grandfather once said to me.
Think about the people you admire / look up to. Decide what it is you admire or respect about them and then try to do the same with your own life. Easy to try, not always easy to accomplish. Lays bare every time you fail to live up to their example even if nobody else see's it.
And while WWJD is fine as a basic guide, having a real work, right now, my zip code example to follow is a bit more useful.
My grandfather wasn't rich, probably wasn't what he imagined he'd be one day, didn't really have it easy and was never fully rewarded for his efforts and good deeds...but you'd have to look long and hard to find a nicer guy and that was probably more important to him than any of the other stuff most people wish for themselves.
It is no exaggeration that half the town attended his funeral, I met an endless number of people I never heard of who took the time to tell me what a good guy my grandfather was, I already knew that...just didn't know everyone else did too.
Anyway, since we are almost a full year of "no school - home school your kids", might as well teach any troublesome teens that little bit of wisdom. It has served me well and kept me out of most of the trouble I'd have otherwise been able to find.
People talk of children and "self esteem" but it's a pale substitute for genuine self respect. Self respect is liking yourself because you are the kind of person you would admire, self esteem is simply accepting yourself without need for any improvements.
Sorry if this is odd, but it's been a little over 20 years since my grandfather passed and I still find myself thinking "Man...how would he have fixed this?" when life's daily challenges present themselves.
And since I'm clearly rambling, if you have some nugget of guidance that has served you well, by all means share it with the class.
Straight Shooter
09-05-20, 02:09
My dad died with a chainsaw in his hands.
He knew how to fix everything from a sick calf to a sick kid to an appliance, car, tractor, ect.
At his funeral were 620 people. I met people whose names I' d heard all my life.
My greatest regret as an older man now, is not listening more to him as a younger man. My pop was indeed, wise.
I do the same thing you descibe Steyr...I think "what would pop do about this"?
I guess my nugget of guidance.. would be to yall young uns...millenialls..yall need to really, really shut up & just listen to your elders more.
Hear them out. Find out WHY they think & believe what they do. If they are older, or elderly & fairly successful, or at least living decently, find out what theyve done to get to that point. I have now, only a couple of real, true OLD school gents left in my life.
I cherish the hell out of them. Love them. Ask questions EVERY time Im around them. Learn EVERY time Im around them.
In my life..at work, or other places..Ive tried to impart things I know to be true, things I KNOW are right..but I tell you these feckless teens & twenty year olds already know EVERYTHING. "I know"...EVERY time I try to show or tell them something..even if theyve never done it before.."I know". Very close to giving a damn about them anymore..all they want to do is peck on a cellphone.
If you saw the movie, or at least can find the uncucked lyrics, this makes all the sense in the world.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=moPBUotc4sE
There is no secret. You’re here for a while, then you are gone.
Every man is a walking shell of regret, triumph, shame, hatred, despair and optimism.
Do at least one thing you wanted to do. At least the one thing.
And contrary to what Berkeley Breathed, the hack and alcoholic cartoonist, once said: it is very much too late to have a happy childhood. You have only one time in life to be a blank slate of possibility before society wears you down into conforming so you can be taxed and replaced.
Always, always, always look back in anger and never, never, never forget who hurt you.
Averageman
09-05-20, 08:11
When you're young it is time to learn.
When you've learned it's time to apprentice.
When you've apprenticed it's time to apply what you've learned.
While you apply what you have learned it is time to expand what you have learned and explore and take chances.
When you have applied what you have learned and innovated new ways to apply your craft, it's time to establish your roots and save your earnings and invest.
When your investments grow and your wealth grows it is time to re-establish your roots and all you have learned in to a legacy.
With your legacy and investments it is time to begin to plan for your retirement,
Then after you have retired, it is time to enjoy the fruits of your labor.
There are no secrets.
Living well is subjective so each individual must define for themselves what living well means to them.
There is no objective meaning to life. Whats meaningful to one is meaningless to another.
Once you understand that you create your self image, your world view, and your place in it then it becomes crystal clear that whether you are living well or poorly it is of your own choosing/doing.
You are responsible for what you believe, the choices you make, the actions you take, and how you're living.
Every man is a walking shell of regret, triumph, shame, hatred, despair and optimism.
Do at least one thing you wanted to do. At least the one thing.
Always, always, always look back in anger and never, never, never forget who hurt you.
I cropped this quite a bit - my apologies.
Without love there is nothing. Not romantic love, that's easy.
I could not agree more - you don't need a bucket list, but you should do the one thing; no matter if it's climbing Mt Everest or two chicks at the same time.
I disagree, never look back in anger. No matter what happened in the past, you survived it. There is no shortage of crap to be angry about in the future. Forget the ones who hurt you, they are not worth your time. Remember who your friends are.
I'm glad you are back, FF. M4C without you just ain't the same.
Andy
There is no secret. You’re here for a while, then you are gone.
Every man is a walking shell of regret, triumph, shame, hatred, despair and optimism.
Wow, atheism in a nutshell. Succinct, and inspiring.
Wow, atheism in a nutshell. Succinct, and inspiring.
I wouldn't say atheist - the body is a vessel and our time on this earth is limited.
Andy
Averageman
09-05-20, 11:58
I wouldn't say atheist - the body is a vessel and our time on this earth is limited.
Andy
And the clock is running MFer's.
Revenge is the best way to live well.
Hmmm wait a sec, do I have that backwards....?
No I guess it’s right.
Wow, atheism in a nutshell. Succinct, and inspiring.
I’m not an atheist. We just have to accept what is and also that which is beyond our control.
I have seen people die ignobly trying to live forever and inversely seen people die younger than they should on a life they were proud of.
To see people whom I loved and deeply respected, face their mortality with dignity. It was humbling. It totally and I mean totally changed my viewpoint. This ties into what I said.
Do at least the ‘one thing’. We really are just passing through.
But, for me. Anger is a motivator. Sincere anger. Our bad experiences can inspire self improvement and self determination thought otherwise unattainable.
Life is a simple question with multiple choice answers and not all are wrong and not all are right.
Just make the most of your time. Accept, however, your time is finite.
And don’t live another person’s dreams. Let them accompany you, but don’t let them change it.
I can die. TODAY. Knowing I did at least my one thing. I would have liked to have had the family. Came close. Still open to it. But it wasn’t my one thing. If it happens, it’s gravy.
That’s honestly the only other thing I wanted to do. I’m just quiet and solitary at times and standoffish at others and most pampered females these days cannot handle men like that But that’s not even really even something I think about.
But also what I say is just how I am. Never let anyone extinguish your personal joy or light. But it’s fun to parse sometimes.
There's a big difference between self-respect and self-esteem, just as there's big difference between joy and happiness. The terms are not interchangeable, and you can have one without having the other.
This is a good thread and could easily be merged with the what do you believe in? thread.
There's a big difference between self-respect and self-esteem, just as there's big difference between joy and happiness. The terms are not interchangeable, and you can have one without having the other.
This is a good thread and could easily be merged with the what do you believe in? thread.
https://youtu.be/B8XYmA_8-H4
Five_Point_Five_Six
09-05-20, 18:34
As important as it is to have people that you admire and try to be like in some small way, it's equally important if not more so to have people who are the example of what not to do.
One of the people who fits the latter description for me was an Uncle of mine. He was a good man, but he was a workaholic to a fault. He worked commercial construction and traveled all over the country. It caused him to not be around for his kids much when they were growing up, and he missed out on a lot not being there. They were always well taken care of, and he was good to my Aunt and cousins when he was around. His plan was to turn 55 and retire, then travel and go on vacations that he never took when he was younger. At age 60 he was still working with no plans on stopping, until the pancreatic cancer hit. My Mom and I traveled to Arizona to visit him before he passed, and he and I sat out on his patio one night and talked for hours. With tears in his eyes he told me to live life while I'm young and not to wait until I retire to do the things that I want to do, and that no amount of money will make up for the lost years with family. He said the cancer would have likely still got him, but if he'd retired at 55 like he'd talked about for years, that would have given him 5 years to spend with his wife, kids and grand kids.
I was in my late 20's, my oldest was 3 at the time, my youngest was a newborn and that really stuck with me. It took almost a decade for me to set myself up with a career that allows me the maximum amount of time home with my family while still providing for them. I can't say that I love what I do for a living, I've had jobs that I enjoyed more, but I'm not miserable or unhappy and the time at home is well worth it.
Revenge is the best way to live well.
Hmmm wait a sec, do I have that backwards....?
No I guess it’s right.
I once heard all action require retaliation or forgiveness, and I can somewhat agree with that.
Averageman
09-05-20, 21:36
I’m not an atheist. We just have to accept what is and also that which is beyond our control.
If you look at death like sleep. If you fight like hell to not go to sleep, what does that do to your dreams? Puts you in a bad place doesn't it?
I will fight like hell to make it to the last straw (well, I guess unless I'm in California) but when it's time I want to accept it and allow myself to let go.
I don't want to meet the here after with pain, anger, jealousy, Hate or Spite in my heart. I want to joyfully let go and glide out alone.
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