How do I give up on myself? [Archive]

Vic79

09-25-20, 22:45

Like the title says, how can I quit believing in myself? It only sets me up for failure and disappointment. I’m not good at anything and have failed at obtaining a single dream of mine

Life is full of failure, disappointment, and loss. If anyone tells you they haven’t experienced those things is full of shit.The sun will rise tomorrow wether you want it to or not. Have your Moment right now. Get up tomorrow, get your shit together start working to improve yourself physically and mentally. Be forewarned that shit doesn’t happen overnight either, you have to work at it every day.
Next and most importantly never left this “I am a failure“/pity party bullshit in your head again. If you **** up own it and move on. Discipline equals freedom.

marco.g

09-25-20, 22:46

Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Failures are just lessons in disguise.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CEpC8etlwSd/?igshid=1t32d0numxn8y

3 AE

09-25-20, 22:58

You need to seek professional help, you definitely won't find it here at a gun forum. Seriously, see a therapist/psychologist to help you find a way out of this dilemma.

SomeOtherGuy

09-25-20, 23:19

You need to seek professional help, you definitely won't find it here at a gun forum. Seriously, see a therapist/psychologist to help you find a way out of this dilemma.

Good advice, but best case scenario is you're going to get the same general guidance as posts 3 and 4, just in a much softer and fluffier format.

I had at least my share of setbacks, as I bet many people here did - probably most. It's life. You will find that any successful person has gone through a lot of unpleasant experiences: failures, setbacks, endless hard work, losing out to someone obviously not as good (at least in your mind, at the time), etc. etc.

But if you don't have some close friend or relative who can help you get past this, then go see a therapist. I understand your disappointment - in fact I choose not to pursue a pilot career because I knew something like that would happen one day, even though I had no medical issues at age 22 - but you just need to find a way past it.

More exercise isn't a bad idea either, for what it's worth. Even if you already do lots. And especially if you don't.

223to45

09-25-20, 23:33

Buckaroo

09-25-20, 23:50

My men's group is currently reading this together. It might be of interest to you. https://www.amazon.com/Wild-Heart-Discovering-Secret-Mans/dp/0785268839

Sent from my Pixel 3 using Tapatalk

Korgs130

09-26-20, 00:02

Step number one is to get up every morning. That in and of its self is a victory. In my book the only true failure is to not attempt something just because it might not work out. This path didn’t work out for you and that stings. Now you have a new mission, and while it probably doesn’t seem like it right now, the world is full of opportunity.

Like a lot of others, I’ve had my share of personal and professional set backs. I can call them set backs now, but at the time they almost seemed like the end of the road. Focus on your new mission and down you new road this will be a “set back” for you too.

I will add that I started seeing a Counclor about 8 years ago and it is one of the best things I’ve ever done. It has helped me better handle some of the bumps / pot holes in my road and I am definally a better man for it. Exercise and quality sleep help out immensely as well.

Keep your chin up and stay strong.

kwelz

09-26-20, 00:17

Find a fulfilling hobby.
Spend time with friends who build you up.
Learn something new, a skill, job related, whatever.
Just keep pushing.

Some years back I felt the same way. I was close to giving up. I even posted about it here. And the advice I got was instrumental in working through it.

just a scout

09-26-20, 00:32

Little battles you can win.

Make your bed when you get up.

Learn to make your perfect cup of coffee.

Lift one more rep rah yesterday.

Say hi to that pretty girl at the store.

Enjoy a nice meal.

All little battles, all small victories.

Mine yesterday was shooting one hole groups with a new rifle.

And go find a therapist or a priest you can sit with. Fr. John helped me get out of a serious despondency over my exwife.

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SteyrAUG

09-26-20, 01:01

Like the title says, how can I quit believing in myself? It only sets me up for failure and disappointment. I’m not good at anything and have failed at obtaining a single dream of mine

Your goals are either unrealistic or your efforts are not sufficient or some combination of both.

My genuine "care about a person" advice is find what makes you happy and figure out how to do that as often as possible.

I used to be F ing BROKE living in Ft. Lauderdale but I could afford to go free diving (snorkling) 5 days a week so I regularly ate lobster...I loved that and it made being F ing BROKE tolerable.

Quit trying to live somebody else's life or you fairy tale version of a perfect life and just start living. Doesn't mean don't try...but if you don't succeed don't let it be the end of everything.

Lots of people on their dying breath would love to trade places with you. Their heads are so full of the possibilities of life if only they were in the situation you are currently in. If you were dying of some incurable disease that would be different and even then you should be trying to max out as many good days as you can steal away from death.

Rogue556

09-26-20, 01:23

First and foremost, the advice given in this thread already is good and I think you'd be wise to heed some of it.

Secondly, if I'm off base at all, I do apologize in advance.

But..

Have you stopped to ask yourself if it's your version of success that you've failed to achieve, or is it possible you've failed to live up to society's definition? We live in a social media driven world. People document their lives daily for the world to see, but it's highly filtered. No one wants to put their failure on display for the worlds amusement. If you are comparing yourself too much to others, you'll only be comparing yourself to their greatest achievements. The failures they've endured to get there are what you don't see, and all but the most lucky have a trail of failures behind every success story. I'd even venture to bet a lot of them failed miserably at some point and had to abandon many of their dreams for new endeavors. This is the rule and not the exception for most people I know.

If you are heavily invested in multiple forms of social media, I highly suggest disconnecting. Everyone on the internet is a SEAL/Astronaut/Brain Surgeon. I promise you though, the vast majority do not fit that mold.

Find meaning in the little things. Don't put all of your eggs in one basket, so to speak. Investing all of your emotional energy into one thing is similar to gambling your life savings away at the casino. Sure, you may hit big and be sitting on cloud 9.. but that's not often the case. When you do that and fail, it's devastating.

Compete against yourself daily. You are your own worst enemy. Strive to be better tomorrow than you were today. When you fail (and you will, because you're human) get back up and keep going, even if the direction is different.

Life is about a whole lot more than career paths, promotions, and the newest hottness. Take all of the other nonsense out of the equation and focus on being the kind of person you'd admire. You need to define what true success means to you before you can strive for it.

Of course, I'm just some guy on the Internet though, so take what I said with a grain of salt.

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Straight Shooter

09-26-20, 02:58

What you NEED is a personal relationship with a man named Jesus Christ.

jbjh

09-26-20, 03:08

I’m sorry you’re going thru such a tough time. I truly mean that. Having your life shattered sucks.

That said, you have to take a step back and seriously prioritize things. You still have your life, and have choices to make.

You don’t have to plan out the rest of your life, but you do need to keep moving forward. That’s going to take a lot of effort right now. Friends and family can help, but they’ll get burned out. Professional therapists can help guide you to where you’re trying to go (if you know), and keep you from bogging down in your own misery (it’s easy to do).

Limit TV watching, get exercise, seek out your friends. Severely limit imbibing.

You can do this. Really you can.

And remember that everything good in your life came because of change. This is another one, and really good things can come.

Sent from 80ms in the future

Firefly

09-26-20, 03:19

Just listen to this 20 times in a row and, (I say this with compassion) go to Lowes, buy a ladder snd get over yourself

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dx7vNdAb5e4

I mean sheeyit....I have no friends, no surviving family, and I wake up miserable most days and I’m often angry at the world but in a way it makes me happy

HMM

09-26-20, 05:07

Start listening to the Mindset Mentor podcast now!

SteyrAUG

09-26-20, 05:07

After a shitty day where everything went wrong, money I depended on simply didn't happen or got reprioritized, people who I counted on failed me...etc.

I could usually still find solace in a pepperoni pizza and a fizzy coke. Everything else was still a problem to be solved, but with a decent pizza and a coke I could figure out my best options.

Some things there is no fixing. When my dad died, when I lose a dog, those are big deal things I have zero control over. They can't be fixed, but they sure as hell put the rest of my problems into perspective.

Find what is important - do THAT.
Find what makes life tolerable - do THAT.

Life could always be better, even if you have everything you want...life could always be better. The real trick is making life better when you don't have any of that shit.

I know guys who busted their ass to get the best grades (better than everyone else), so that they could get the best jobs and then busted their ass some more to build that into top of their field and kept doing that until their mid 40s...and THEN...some bitch divorced them and took half of everything and put them almost back at square ONE...or if life was really gonna do you dirty...hit you with some horrific illness that sucked up every dime and even though you survived it still took decades off the back end of your life expectancy....or if life was really gonna do you in...after all of that...the illness came back and you had less than a year to tell everyone you loved them, put your affairs in order and somehow make peace with this awfully, shitty situation that you have no control over anyway.

And if none of that is happening to you, seriously go find a really good pizza and have a Coke and a smile.

arptsprt

09-26-20, 06:49

Amen SteyrAUG.

Honest to God true story. This past Tuesday a friend of mine only a few years older than me went to have his shoulder looked at for a rotator cuff injury he got rafting this summer.

Only guess what? The pain he’d been feeling wasn’t his rotator cuff. His upper right body is full of tumors. The cancer he didn’t know he had is eating through some of his bones and down to the bone marrow.

An otherwise healthy, active, happy guy thought he was going in to get set up for treatment for a strained or tore rotator cup was just told he probably has terminal cancer.

Sorry your other gig didn’t work out for you man, but suck it up and put shit into perspective. Life is full of obstacles and opportunities. But at the end of the day, your health is the greatest asset you have. That and your loved ones. Somehow you need to put this in the rear view mirror and move on. Other good things await, you just have to try.

After a shitty day where everything went wrong, money I depended on simply didn't happen or got reprioritized, people who I counted on failed me...etc.

I could usually still find solace in a pepperoni pizza and a fizzy coke. Everything else was still a problem to be solved, but with a decent pizza and a coke I could figure out my best options.

Some things there is no fixing. When my dad died, when I lose a dog, those are big deal things I have zero control over. They can't be fixed, but they sure as hell put the rest of my problems into perspective.

Find what is important - do THAT.
Find what makes life tolerable - do THAT.

Life could always be better, even if you have everything you want...life could always be better. The real trick is making life better when you don't have any of that shit.

I know guys who busted their ass to get the best grades (better than everyone else), so that they could get the best jobs and then busted their ass some more to build that into top of their field and kept doing that until their mid 40s...and THEN...some bitch divorced them and took half of everything and put them almost back at square ONE...or if life was really gonna do you dirty...hit you with some horrific illness that sucked up every dime and even though you survived it still took decades off the back end of your life expectancy....or if life was really gonna do you in...after all of that...the illness came back and you had less than a year to tell everyone you loved them, put your affairs in order and somehow make peace with this awfully, shitty situation that you have no control over anyway.

And if none of that is happening to you, seriously go find a really good pizza and have a Coke and a smile.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

OH58D

09-26-20, 08:49

I hate to respond to these kinds of threads because we know nothing about the background, age and current situation of the OP, including interpersonal relationships or the lack thereof. If it's female issues, that can be remedied by getting into circulation more. Avoid the bar flys and get involved in some social or church organization. Maybe you'll find a soul mate? Ultimately I can only comment on my life.

First of all, at age 60, I came to the realization a long time ago that life is full of zig zags, main paths, side paths. My Christian upbringing taught me to follow the "straight and narrow path", but that never totally worked out. Doors open, doors close. Opportunities appear, opportunities disappear. My first want in life didn't revolve around helicopters, but that's how it turned out. Even after Army retirement, I never thought at age 60 I'd be working this physically hard as I do each day - it's a mixed blessing with a curse built in.

I have come to the realization in life that you just keep plodding along, planning the best you can, but be ready for the unexpected. Secondly, the best things in life aren't where you are or where you're going, but the trip in between. Slow down and take the time to enjoy the trip. South of here is I-40, following old U.S. 66 (aka Route 66). It began in Chicago and ended in Los Angeles. The romance of that road wasn't the beginning or end, but what was in-between - the sights, the smells, the tourist traps, the small towns, the people........ I take this approach each day out in the heat and dust, trying to put the thought of market prices and herd decimating diseases out of my mind. The market sucks this year, drought has dried up the grass, and we are shipping directly to the processor this year. Worst year money wise in a long time, but we just keep plodding along. Here's a pic from this week herding cattle into shipping pens. No feedlot this year - we're going direct to the processor:
https://i.imgur.com/9SjmqoRh.jpg

LowSpeed_HighDrag

09-26-20, 09:46

Aetius

09-26-20, 10:23

Start looking outside yourself. Happiness and fulfillment comes from helping and creating value for other people. Join an organization that helps other people, like a church. A church that focuses on physically helping their local community.

Help people the way they need to be helped, not the way you want to help them. Helping does not mean giving them money.

Adjust your expectations. If one dream slips away from you despite your best efforts, seek another. Happiness does not reside in one person or profession.

Beware of the success stories of others. Many many success or “motivation “ stories are fraught with survivorship bias. Everybody loves an underdog story where one man overcomes overwhelming odds, but we love them because they do not happen often.
This does not mean to give up on ambition or settle, but be realistic.

Read the book of Romans.

Stay away from mind altering substances in times of trouble. They only offer temporary relief and at minimum they steal your time.

Work out.

Seek professional help if you feel suicidal.

SomeOtherGuy

09-26-20, 11:18

Go see your GP, tell him you are depressed, ask for a referral to a good therapist/counselor/etc and possibly something to stabilize your moods. Get connected with real people at a brewery, church, rec league, etc.

Be cautious, getting entangled with mental health diagnoses and psych drugs is likely to make things worse.

BoringGuy45

09-26-20, 12:36

Be cautious, getting entangled with mental health diagnoses and psych drugs is likely to make things worse.

That depends. A low dose of a mild anti-depressant is likely to help and not be too disruptive to functioning. It's only when they start suggesting things like bipolar or antipsychotic drugs that the red flags should go up.

Patriot, sometimes doors to certain goals and dreams are closed. Unfortunately, we're told that this is a land of opportunity where you can be whatever you want to be, and so if you are unable to achieve your goal, that's your own fault. That obviously doesn't help anyone, because it's simply not the truth. Sometimes, due to things out of our control, jobs or experiences we wanted to have are just never going to be an option. Other times we get the opportunities we want, only to find that we're wholly unsuited for them, or that we don't enjoy them nearly as much as we thought we would. Either way, it's not easy, because it leaves us at a loss of what we should be doing with the rest of our lives. Trust me, that's been my life for the past 20 years. I spent years working towards my first career goal, only to find out that it was going to be impossible to achieve. I then spent another 10 years trying to pursue my secondary goal, finally achieved it, and found out that I hated it. I'm just now, as of this time last year, finally finding a career path where I strongly feel I'm going to be both happy and successful.

It's a dark time when the goal you spent years focused on is washed away. But realize that there's more stuff out there than you probably noticed. If you want to know how to focus your efforts, you should ask yourself these questions:

1) What in life interests/concerns/drives me?
2) How do I engage with it/fix it/use it to advance myself and humanity?

Examples: "What lies beyond the horizon? How do I get there?" These are your traveler types. They want to make a career or lifestyle of seeing the world.
Others may ask "What does the dark side of the world look like? How do I fight it?" These types may join the military, law enforcement, medical field, social work, psychology, etc.
Others ask, "What is success and what does it look like? How do I achieve?" These are your businessmen, entertainers, etc.
Others ask, "What makes things work? How do I make them or fix the things that don't work?" These are your tradesmen, engineers, inventors, etc.

So, think about your questions and go from there.

jbjh

09-26-20, 12:42

Be cautious, getting entangled with mental health diagnoses and psych drugs is likely to make things worse.

^ And this is how we end up losing so many vets to suicide. People are afraid to seek out help.

We’ve come a long way treating depression in the last 20 years, as many of our vets, including my father.

Look, taking a pill won’t fix this on its own. And any doctor worth a damn monitors their patients closely when they’ve prescribed new meds. As someone who has had an adverse reaction to antidepressants (not dangerous), I can also say that there are more than one class of drugs that can help stabilize moods. And Ketamine treatment is an absolute game changer.

DO NOT get it into your head that there is some magic fix for this, or that going so extreme people will finally notice you is a good thing (some blaze of glory version of “I can do this...”). It’s the flip-side of the “I’m a loser and a failure” coin.

Sent from 80ms in the future

militarymoron

09-26-20, 13:03

Like the title says, how can I quit believing in myself? It only sets me up for failure and disappointment. I’m not good at anything and have failed at obtaining a single dream of mine

#1 - be realistic. No matter how much I believe in myself, I'll never run 100m in the Olympics. Ok, that's being delusional, but separate what's under your control (your actions) and what's not (particular medical conditions for example). Move on.

#2 - Don't base success and failure on your dreams. Dreams are 'lofty goals' and 'nice to haves', not absolutely necessary to having a great, successful life. Look at what your dream was (to be a pilot) and then look at all the people who go through life who aren't pilots. We make do.

#3 - Everyone has failures and disappointment - it's what you do after that, that makes the difference. We learn and grow from adversity and disappointment just as much as we do from our successes.

#4 - take a bit of time off if you can, and volunteer at a soup kitchen or homeless shelter. Listen to people's stories and learn from them.

#5 - Wake up every morning and be grateful for what you have, whatever it may be (a roof over your head, a computer, etc).

DG23

09-26-20, 13:49

Like the title says, how can I quit believing in myself? It only sets me up for failure and disappointment. I’m not good at anything and have failed at obtaining a single dream of mine

Get a dog. No matter how bad you screw up in life they will always be happy to see you when you get home.

(so long as you feed them and half ass care for them)

AndyLate

09-26-20, 16:57

Military Moron's post is great.

Think about #4 for a minute - there is no way to fail when you help people. Having a stranger just sit down, treat you as an equal, and listen/talk with you is a great thing when you have nothing and no one.

Andy

pag23

09-26-20, 18:26

Everybody has highs and lows, some more than others. The important thing to look in the mirror and convince yourself that things will improve.

Retired Navy SEAL, Dave Goggins' book.."Can't Hurt Me" is a great read and shows the mental fortitude to overcome

I wish you luck..

yoni

09-26-20, 19:43

I don't mind opening up a bit if it can help someone.

First understand I have NEVER know a person that has not had ups and downs.

I know someone that was so big that when his business fell due to a change in the global market place, he took down a bank and many big name investors. He never got back to that level. He has had numerous failures since that time. A couple of years ago he was riding his bike and got hit and run by some jerk. But the accident saved his life as they found a rare cancer due it it, that would have been terminal before he knew he had it.

One of my employees, just had bad a divorce . Rather than give up, he got in shape and has 2 smoking hot girl friends.

Myself, my company was the company that was chosen out of all the security companies in the world to investigate a major incident that was in the news a while back. We offered our services at cost to get our foot in the door. Unknown to us our local rep., added a lot of money to what we said it would cost. They loved our report and in the course of our work we found they had bigger problems. When we informed them of the issue they wanted us to name names. We refused to do so and said we would do so if they allowed us to run the counter measures program . Plus in our report we gave them a program of up grades that would up their security. They said for how much they paid us we should name names. We found out through our own sources what they had paid and how the local rep., was a liar and a thief. They took our report and upgraded security recommendations and went with an other company. Such is life.

Corona has knocked us down to minus income every month. I will admit here, that I was slipping into depression. Stopped working out and sat at home bored out of my mind, eating and drinking too much.

Nobody is really looking at restarting jobs we were on, and every one we contact says only after the first of they year maybe.

So I understood, being at home like this was going to do very bad things to me. So I took a job working for someone else, just to get out of the house and break the cycle. I now get up every morning at 3am and workout. Then go to work at 6am, I have the freedom to take calls for my company if I need to and even answer email. So nobody really can feel the difference, when they contact me for my company. When I get off at 2 pm I work 4 hours a day on company things.

So set goals, that are small to start with. Start working out and if this started with Corona, it will pass.

Life is a great thing, seek out things that make you happy.

Lastly get this book by a great Rabbi on faith and perspective of G-D and us.

https://www.amazon.com/universal-garden-emuna-Rabbi-Shalom/dp/B008529QC8/ref=sr_1_58?dchild=1&keywords=rav+arush+emunah+books&qid=1601167326&sr=8-58

thepatriot2705

09-26-20, 19:52

SomeOtherGuy

09-26-20, 20:15

SteyrAUG

09-26-20, 23:56

I want to give up but it would be incredibly selfish to my family. And it would also be devastating to the person who is scheduled to get a bone marrow donation from me in the near future. I just gotta find a way to temper my expectations of things. I can’t fail if I don’t set the bar high. But at the same time I feel like I was meant for more and it sucks when you’re extremely driven

So I seriously hope we are helping, but even if we are you really, really, really should talk to someone local. Might not need a shrink, but just talk to your GP. This could be a temporary blues thing, could be something that you just can't manage with will power alone. Don't take it as failure, weakness or any of that stupid crap...some people are compulsives but they can manage with help. Other people sometimes see everything black but they can manage with help.

Remember it's hard to see the entire big picture if you are in the center of it. It's difficult to be objective about life, when life is currently putting the screws to you. Seriously make an appointment to see your GP.

Don't know who you are, don't know about all of your situation, but if it's worth asking us then it's worth talking to someone who helps people with this sort of thing every week.

Nothing wrong with setting the bar high and having goals and expectations, but man life happens. But it ain't over yet, so long as you are breathing things can get better. Just because X didn't work out doesn't mean Y can't happen.

militarymoron

09-27-20, 00:35

I want to give up but it would be incredibly selfish to my family. And it would also be devastating to the person who is scheduled to get a bone marrow donation from me in the near future. I just gotta find a way to temper my expectations of things. I can’t fail if I don’t set the bar high. But at the same time I feel like I was meant for more and it sucks when you’re extremely driven

It's definitely a struggle to recognize the difference between hopes and expectations. Hopes are desires that something good is going to happen. Expectations are beliefs that it's going to happen. That's where we can set ourselves up for disappointment, especially when we've worked so hard towards a certain goal.

Giving up on one of your dreams doesn't mean that you're giving up on yourself. Not one bit. If someone is getting a bone marrow donation from you, that shows that you're a good, courageous and giving person. Giving up on yourself would be selfish to you. You're capable of more than you feel right now. Much, much more. I don't know you at all, but I believe that of everyone.

I don't think that there's anything wrong with setting the bar high. You just have to be okay with not clearing it all the time, or never clearing it at all. Trying and failing is not the same as not trying at all. Of all the baskets and goals that are scored in sports, think of how many didn't make it in. Failing at something doesn't make you a failure. It just means you failed at something. That's all it means. And it's okay. It's to be expected if we try at something hard and challenge ourselves. Me, my wife and my son are all rock climbers, so we're used to falling 90% of the time. It just means that we're challenging ourselves. Sometimes we never top out on a route, and all we can say is that we gave it our darndest.
Failing is such an important part of life that failing reminds us that we're alive to try anew.

yoni

09-27-20, 04:26

I can’t fail if I don’t set the bar high. But at the same time I feel like I was meant for more and it sucks when you’re extremely driven

I don't know what your trying to do, and then fail at it.

Failure is a learning process in and of itself.

Edison failed hundreds of times on his way to inventing the light bulb.

Using me again, we failed in getting the contract for the security upgrades that we laid out in our report. But due to that failure, we took a step back and reassessed our process with clients. As a result,, I feel our success rate with potential clients will go up by a huge margin. So it was failure that is the key to future success.

What do you call a baseball player that can bat 300? A superstar. But wait he failed 70% of the time at bat.

What do you call a businessman that has a success rate of 1/3 of the businesses he opens are successful. A huge success. The guy I wrote about that the bike accident found the cancer, once told me he would be over joyed if he could lower his failure rate to 70%. He never has done anything as huge as his first business that made tons of money, but he has had lots of failure since then and some success since then. He is very highly thought of and is wealthy.

My father who built a successful business, told me it is the dreamers with courage to act on those dreams that build the world.

Don't give up, keep pushing. One day you will hit your first home run.

When I went from working for the government, to working for myself it was failure city. My company is a little over 18 months old. We spent big money to build a new idea up that involved travel, which we thought would give us passive 24/7 income. Then Corona hit, down to zero. Do I view this as a failure, nope. We have the infrastructure in place to kick this off once corona is over.

My buddy just lost a 25 year marriage, it lasted through him being deployed more than he was at home due to the unit he was in. 100% failure because his marriage was over. But he ran with it and has 2 hot girlfriends as I write this.

Never give up. Set real goals, start with small things and build up your confidence, then build the size of your goals. I know I will never be the richest man in the world, but that isn't my goal. But I know I will be in a position, that will be better than my parents were in.

prepare

09-27-20, 05:25

Stop concerning yourself with feeling. (I feel like)
Replace feeling with logic and reason.
You will eliminate drama and become stable and dependable. A rock.

BuzzinSATX

09-27-20, 06:37

My men's group is currently reading this together. It might be of interest to you. https://www.amazon.com/Wild-Heart-Discovering-Secret-Mans/dp/0785268839

Sent from my Pixel 3 using Tapatalk

Great enlightenment in this book!

On of my favorite takeaways was “The Ballad of the Goodly Fere”

https://www.bartleby.com/265/295.html

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

BuzzinSATX

09-27-20, 06:38

What you NEED is a personal relationship with a man named Jesus Christ.

Yes!

The stronger I am in my walk with Christ, the more confidence I have with who I am and what constitutes success and failure. And it makes me a better husband, father, friend, and man.

“I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength.”

Philippians 4:12-13 - https://www.biblegateway.com/passage?search=Philippians%204:12-13&version=NIV

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Mozart

09-27-20, 07:45

Like the title says, how can I quit believing in myself? It only sets me up for failure and disappointment. IÂ’m not good at anything and have failed at obtaining a single dream of mine

Read two books:

David Goggins: Â“CanÂ’t Hurt MeÂ”
and
Jordan Peterson: Â“12 Rules For LifeÂ”

Goggins will inspire you to have a toughness, a Â“failure Is not an optionÂ” strength. Peterson will teach you about the psychology /sociology behind a driven, dedicated mind.

Personally, IÂ’d also recommend trying a Meyers Briggs personality test. You may find that your brain isnÂ’t suited for the fields you e been trying to succeed in. If that ends up being the case, no wonder youÂ’ve struggled! Tests like that will help guide you toward the work fields that you have a better chance to thrive in. Just one small example: some people should NEVER work in a competitive environment; theyÂ’d be miserable.

WhatÂ’s your age?

Evel Baldgui

09-27-20, 08:38

I was very hesitant to respond to this, but here goes. First, I found it odd for the OP to note this on a "gun forum", then realized M4C also, for lack of a better term, is a lifestyle, similar interests, support type of forum as well. Speaking with a professional, your family/primary care doc, as was mentioned, is a good start. Everyone, no matter how strong, skilled, intelligent, wealthy, etc does require 'help' on occasion. Life does beat the hell out of you, be it through divorce, death of a loved one, sudden unemployment, illness, goals not being met, unfortunate circumstances, whatever. Some, very few, can resolve the issues alone. The vast 99% really can not. Seeking aid from trusted family/friends, anonymous online support groups, telephone hotlines, or medical/psych professionals is a way of resolving the issue. Being thankful for the challenge is another. Get help, you will survive this "inconvenience", its temporary, it will pass, you will overcome this obstacle. To quote a line from the film Scarface, "any day above ground is a good day".

26 Inf

09-27-20, 22:46

This is not an appropriate place for this kind of thread, sorry.

Go see your GP, tell him you are depressed, ask for a referral to a good therapist/counselor/etc and possibly something to stabilize your moods. Get connected with real people at a brewery, church, rec league, etc.

This is the best advice OP. Sorry things aren't going as well as you'd like, there are people who care and are willing to help. Go to see them. All we can do is offer platitudes, truth is that if you were willing or able to do the things folks have mentioned, you probably would have already. That is not a knock on you, it is reality, and it isn't your fault, it's simply the chemicals in your brain are out of whack.

My daughter, who I was semi-estranged from at the time, called me one day and asked to talk, I was complimented, but quickly realized she was depressed beyond my abilities. I told her she needed to go see someone, she said she didn't want to.

I talked to her, told her my experiences and showed her the Zoloft tablets I've taken everyday for the last 25 years. She didn't know. We talked some more and she agreed to get help. She's doing okay now, just like I am.

Go. Talk to a medical professional. Don't bet the longshot 'I can do it myself' it's not really you, it's brain chemicals, get help.

Diamondback

09-27-20, 23:53

Hang in there. Keep trying new things, and as you do remember to start them with baby steps then work up.

I'm gonna share a little from my own background that may be overshare, but I do so in the hope of giving "you can get past this" encouragement. The autistic tend to be vulnerable to depressive cycles, and my usual way out is to master some new field whether a skill or a new subject of interest, devouring amounts of raw information that would make a less persistent mind choke. Anyway, late in high school and early in college, I had one that was more than a cycle, and I got lucky that my shrink wanted to work both meds as an early "back on track" to start and then gradually transition to Cognitive Behavioral Therapy techniques working with my college's Psych Department. Around this time, some buddies in Campus Security had been talking about getting me back into competitive pistol with them and some of their cop buddies... so I mentioned this to Doc H, he made sure I wasn't going to be out there alone (and at first wasn't going to have unsupervised access to iron), then told me "okay, that's your Support Group. It's against everything we usually recommend, but with your personality and this team standing behind you I think it'll work. Enjoy your Group Therapy and show me some X-rings next appointment!"

Completely unmedicated other than my caffeine dependency for almost 20 years now. :)