View Full Version : Hitman (Review)
I never understood why this movie was not more popular. I saw it when it came out and watched it last night, and it's as good or better than say John Wick. Highly stylized action scenes, a decent plot, good acting, great actors like Timothy Olyphant, great sets, etc. I didn't even know it was based on a vid game and it's rated R due to showing perky boobies. And lawd do I love Olga Konstiantinivna Kurylenko in that movie... B+
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ECvtE3JURTg
Great movie and yes, Olga is so cute. :agree:
Great movie and yes, Olga is so cute. :agree:
Most of the actresses dudes get all worked up over don't really do it for me. She does it for me...
Diamondback
10-22-20, 10:49
Movies had nothing on the games, though... I actually had a Psych prof *assign* me to play Hitman 2 back in college back when I was having a little trouble squaring my conscience with the idea that protecting the young lady who'd entrusted herself to my overwatch could mean having to end the stalker ex who was threatening her. (Spoiler: H2 had 47 retire to a monastery, only to see the priest who'd been mentoring him along a better path abducted by an old enemy. "Time to dig up the past...")
It's one of those flicks I'll tune into whenever it surfaces...you are right & don't hear much on it.
Movies had nothing on the games, though... I actually had a Psych prof *assign* me to play Hitman 2 back in college back when I was having a little trouble squaring my conscience with the idea that protecting the young lady who'd entrusted herself to my overwatch could mean having to end the stalker ex who was threatening her. (Spoiler: H2 had 47 retire to a monastery, only to see the priest who'd been mentoring him along a better path abducted by an old enemy. "Time to dig up the past...")
Well, I can't say as I didn't even know it was based on a game at the time, just as I see movies or shows these days only to hear they are based on a comic. What was obvious about this movie was the director didn't just phone in a crappy movie to support a game franchise like say Doom and made an excellent stand alone movie in it's own right. It did the John Wik thing before there was a John Wick movie, and in some respects did it better. And of course the games do not have the perky ta ta's of Olga :cool:
Most of the actresses dudes get all worked up over don't really do it for me. She does it for me...
Bro... watch Oblivion. She's not in it til about a third through, but even more adorable. No bewbs though, sorry. :laugh:
I never understood why this movie was not more popular.
Because, like pretty much every movie made that is based on a video game, it sucked @$$. You would not understand unless you'd played the games. There is literally NOTHING in the movie that hits the vibe of the games, or the character of Agent 47 IN the games.
Yeah, they picked a bald guy that vaguely physically resembles 47, made him a hitman and stuck the name on the title. That's it. That's all they have in common.
The Hitman games aren't 'John Wick 1.0", there's so much more I dare say, subtlety, to the games than the bland action fest the movie was I would spend a few pages trying to explain it.
If you know you know. For God's sake, they didn't even have him swap clothes with a guy for a disguise ONCE, and that's a HUGE part of the games... just whiffed right over their heads because apparently the producers either never played the games, or didn't give a shit when they did.
*Maybe* if you've never played the games, you can view it simply from the lens of an action movie, but if you've played the game franchise it is simply mediocre and mildly infuriating.
NOTHING in that movie would get you an 'expert' rating, just the 'terrorist' rating in the games. :laugh:
Ironically, I actually thought the second movie in the franchise did a slightly better job with the character.... *slightly*...
If you want to know what the movies SHOULD have been like, watch the opening scene of The Mechanic with Jason Statham (2011). Banged it right on the head.
Honestly that whole movie had a better 'hitman' vibe with the assassinations they do than the namesake movies.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4U7jckZiSJo
FromMyColdDeadHand
10-22-20, 12:02
It's not as good a John Wick 1, but way better than John Wick the Turd.
Olga Konstiantinivna Kurylenko - OK with an extra K. Sweet mother of eurotrash babes....
It's funny that it doesn't sync with the game, I thought bringing in 'game' attributes kind of detracted from it, and it seemed it didn't add much for game lovers.
Because, like pretty much every movie made that is based on a video game, it sucked @$$. You would not understand unless you'd played the games. There is literally NOTHING in the movie that hits the vibe of the games, or the character of Agent 47 IN the games.
I'm rating as a stand alone movie, and as such, I enjoyed it a lot, thought was well done, and liked it more than Wick personally. I went to see 300 not knowing it was based on a comic and thought it sucked. Those who were fans of the comic liked it apparently for keeping the vibe of the comic. I thought the 12 foot transvestite and monsters and such were just goofy.
My ratings are always based on the movie as a stand alone entity.
Yeah Will, I'm just giving you the rant as to why the movie wasn't more popular, like you wondered.
There is a huge video game market for movies out there, but they never hit right because the studios are looking for a cash grab not a legit movie based on the game. If you look up pretty much any movie based on a game, they all generally suck. It's kind of an ongoing sore spot in the gaming community.
In case you were wondering.
On the flip side, comic book to movies generally seem to go better. See: the entire MCU movieverse, batman, joker, etc etc.
The thing with 300, is that you have to look at it as a mythologization of events, told in spectacular fireside fashion to the viewers by Eyepatch Spartan. Then it makes sense.
But I agree, it's kind of one of those movies where, if you watch it once every couple years it's epic and awesome, but gets cheesy REAL fast the more you watch it. :laugh:
Also the second one was pretty terrible, and there's a reason nobody talks about it (despite Eva Green's bewbs lol).
Diamondback
10-22-20, 13:05
It's kind of like the Denzel Washington Equalizers: Strip away the preexisting IP and you have okay action movies, but so much missing to try to represent the "bigger brand."
OTOH, in my experience Hitman fanbois are a toxic community of Bitchy Little Girls, much of the community being Eurotrash who cheered when they stuck it to US/Canada about not distributing the Collector Edition of the last game here... and a divided one at that, some wanting 47 to be nothing more than an organic Terminator and others wanting to see more personal growth, and each side of the various schisms declaring the other apostates.
You wanna see Barfcom/4chan toxicity, go look up Hitman Forum sometime...
I really enjoy this movie and LOVE me some Olga.
I had Hitman on PS2 and liked this movie this was Olga in her prime. If you notice the computer voice is same from the game the dispatcher girl who gives him missions.
Beyond that, I am kinda over video games and 99% of movies.
Video games used to be fun or relatively non-commital. The last game I played was Wildlands and it did nothing but rob me of my time and jerked me around.
Per 300. It was great in 2007 but now itÂ’s up there with them old Steve Reeves movies.
Everything sucks and I was sorta looking forward to the new Top Gun and Ghostbusters but they want theatre release when they could just as easily offer it for stream. So eff em.
I just like the Blaser sniper rifle and how Olga says she wasnÂ’t wearing any panties.
You will find as you get older that life is an endless kick in the balls.
titsonritz
10-22-20, 14:11
I like the 5.56 MP5s.
I like the 5.56 MP5s.
Actually shoot an HK53.
So much nope.
Excellent movie and am curious as to when a sequel will be out.
Diamondback
10-22-20, 14:46
Excellent movie and am curious as to when a sequel will be out.
Probably never, they completely rebooted with a new cast that also disappointed so it seems to have gotten the Hot Potato Drop.
Excellent movie and am curious as to when a sequel will be out.
Probably never, they completely rebooted with a new cast that also disappointed so it seems to have gotten the Hot Potato Drop.
Was agent 47 not the sequel? It was not a bad movie, but I thought the first one much better.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k7X8fCUMMVM
Diamondback
10-22-20, 18:01
No, Agent 47 was a total reboot from the same writer, per Wikipedia.
No, Agent 47 was a total reboot from the same writer, per Wikipedia.
I suppose. It came after, it was a different story altogether, so viewed it a sequel. Would be cool of a legit continuation of the first movie for a proper sequel happened.
I like how oddly wholesome this scene is.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Hbk6Al6iYM
Like how all these Hitmen deep down are gentlemen and such
ETA I forgot thats not at all safe for work but still. Even though he kills for money; he doesn’t take advantage of girls.
Kinda like how as I got older I prefer theatrical cut of Leon instead of the lolicon Director’s Cut. I’d much rather he protect Mathildas innocence than be a pedo
Diamondback
10-22-20, 19:27
I suppose. It came after, it was a different story altogether, so viewed it a sequel. Would be cool of a legit continuation of the first movie for a proper sequel happened.
Doesn't help that the games THEMSELVES aren't consistent with lore and storyline, and have seen a couple reboots themselves.
I like how oddly wholesome this scene is.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Hbk6Al6iYM
Like how all these Hitmen deep down are gentlemen and such
ETA I forgot thats not at all safe for work but still. Even though he kills for money; he doesn’t take advantage of girls.
Kinda like how as I got older I prefer theatrical cut of Leon instead of the lolicon Director’s Cut. I’d much rather he protect Mathildas innocence than be a pedo
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