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SteyrAUG
09-04-22, 02:07
Move over Blackwater, there is a new crew in town.

https://i.imgur.com/TXuxPTE.jpg

https://i.imgur.com/uYTvr4U.jpg

Real world training for Ops on YOUR block.

All of our instructors and trainers hold 10,000+ (minimum) post counts on every relevant firearms page on the net. They have ridiculed nearly every YT video ever posted and can answer without thinking the most debated subject from "open carry vs conceal carry" and "9mm vs .45" with confidence and certainty that they cannot possibly be wrong.

While members of the military were hanging out on the FOB, our instructors were watching Black Hawk Down and selected scenes from Zero Dark Thirty over and over again until they could repeat the lessons learned in our state of the art "airsoft" shoot house.

While members of law enforcement hand out moving violations, we train in real world scenarios for you to learn how to actively fight on YOUR block, at YOUR office and at YOUR home.

We can identify at a glance any weapon, from any first person shooting game and instantly recall it's performance capabilities.

Our founding members are in that golden zone of 48 (too young to have been in the Gulf War) to 67 years of age (too young to have served in Vietnam). So that means with few exceptions we could do focused training that was relevant to OUR needs and then go home at night and read all the relevant material written by men in combat so we could be twice as trained as the average person in the military.

So what would you learn if accepted to SUDS?

The rigorous Marcinko drill - Any shots fired outside of the A zone require you to chug a beer and then repeat the shooting sequence until a satisfactory score is achieved.

The Delta House drill - Where you will be dragged from your sleep and made to complete a shooting exercise followed by your personal pledge to the unit. This is the secret ritual where call signs and code names are assigned to those who actually make the team.

Gray Man "Stealth Ops" - Which khaki pant and polo combination draws the least attention while still informing those "in the know" that you are a real deal operator dude.

Critical Gear Evaluation - Which films can you trust to provide a legit gear selection and which ones are just fantasy gamer trash?

The "tactical calorie reserve" - The secret of surviving the apocalypse, all of our instructors are 30+ pounds overweight so when the great collapse comes they can survive on their own stored calories while our survival contingency plans and caches of food and supplies are organized. When all the guys with runners builds are dropping dead after 3 weeks, you will be glad you trained with SUDS.

Real deal NINJA training - Not the Golan / Globus films, our instructors are all experts in the Bansenshukai which is secret shinobi knowledge that you can't just order from Amazon. Well you can...but we understand it...and it's hidden cryptic meanings so finally you will understand what you are reading.

Radios and comms - The ENTIRE alpha code and if you say "B as in Boy" you will be sent home. Correct radio procedures codes so you can finally understand what they hell they are saying on that last film you watched. And yes, we have the curly "secret agent" ear bud things.

Jargon and acronyms - Everything you need to communicate in the open with other team members while preventing bystanders from understanding the exchange of information while at the same time making you feel special and elite.

And we do this and more with such efficiency that you will be on your way home by 5pm each night to get a good nights rest and truly be fully prepared for the next day. Unless we have a night op scheduled but those are usually done on a weekend.

Our creed is expressed in our motto "Fight to Live, Live to Fight." It's what we do, it's what we do.

Upon completion of our rigorous training program you will be issued a "Dangerous Dude 214" form (or DD214 for short) as your license to practice and eligibility for team assignment. Your DD214 may be issued in your "operations identity" with large parts of your experience and awards redacted for security reasons.

Do you belong in SUDS?

Ask yourself these questions.

1. Do you own an AR-15 rifle that you bought based upon a chart? Do you sometimes wish you understood how to completely field strip it and change zero settings for different distances?

2. Do you sometimes shoot recreationally? Which might indicate that you are a natural leader possessing real world fighting skills that need to be sharpened.

3. Do you conceal carry a firearm? Which might indicate a willingness to be responsible for others who are not so fortunate.

4. Do you often feel the "odd man out" because people don't relate to your tactical level of thinking? That might indicate you are already searching for the final level and simply need the tools and skill set to get you there.

If you answered "YES" to any of this, you are already searching. SUDS can get you there.

Accepting applications for outstanding candidates for our initial selection process.

You will need:

1. Acceptable semi auto rifle w/ 10 mags and 900 rounds. People with Anderson (or similar) rifles will be singled out, shamed and sent home.

2. Airsoft version of your chosen rifle / carbine and 900 high grade airsoft BBs.

3. BDUs of suitable pattern for environment and NOT made in China. We are training to fight commies, not to buy their substandard junk.

4. Suitable footwear to survive the "crucible march" of 3.2 miles to the nearest DQ. This is one you might want to start training for NOW at home.

5. A "Can DO" winning attitude that will bring you all the way to the finish line and keep you going when we trick you and tell you that this is NOT the actual finish line and you have three more laps around the track....or is it five?

Please NOTE: Due to the high volume of applications from exceptional individuals, there will be a $300 processing fee for each application submitted. This allows us to take the time to critically evaluate each potential candidate so that each graduating Team is the most exceptional Team possible.

Do you have what it takes to survive SUDS training? Do you have $300? Find out at your local SUDS recruiting office.

"We won't be watching tv, we will be watching tv with live firearms and talking about how we'd do it different...how we'd do it better."

BE EXCEPTIONAL - BE SUDS!

flenna
09-04-22, 07:18
Link so I can sign up?

Diamondback
09-04-22, 07:24
Gecko45 rides again... nice one, Steyr.

Straight Shooter
09-04-22, 07:58
Didnt see CC info...

utahjeepr
09-04-22, 08:29
Is there an "Associate Member" program? Not all of us are quite that high speed but maybe could be affiliated and work our way into it over time.

I know my action movie critique/bashing skills are not fully up to par and my Monday morning QB skills need some work as well.

MarshallDodge
09-04-22, 10:20
The Serpa with the P-series Sig.... LOL

henri
09-04-22, 10:23
The sad part is that many would not consider this satire...

dwhitehorne
09-04-22, 10:57
OP did you come up with that yourself because that is pretty good stuff. David

SeriousStudent
09-04-22, 11:46
So many delightful inside jokes... Well done! :)

JediGuy
09-04-22, 14:30
Do you take PayPal? My credit card numbers keep getting stolen from different gun parts vendors as I try out every newfangled doodad possible to improve my performance prior to training.

Diamondback
09-04-22, 14:45
OP did you come up with that yourself because that is pretty good stuff. David

Never forget, this IS the same SteyrAUG who was supporting cast in the Gecko45 legend. Right now with the Ammo War in another thread, some levity we can all laugh at together is badly needed here. :)

The_War_Wagon
09-04-22, 14:53
Needs some videos of overweight guys rolling on the ground who pop up firing, like the urban DEE-troit trainer a few years back!

SteyrAUG
09-04-22, 18:52
Didnt see CC info...

Some of this is actually the first test.

Straight Shooter
09-04-22, 19:39
Some of this is actually the first test.

Its a riot, brother.

Artos
09-04-22, 19:53
Shut up & take my $$$$$...

SteyrAUG
09-04-22, 20:16
OP did you come up with that yourself because that is pretty good stuff. David

Was shooting with friends and was complaining that it was "hot and I'm tired" and they said "C'mon man, it's like BUDS...suck it up" to which I replied at my age it's more like SUDS. And a training concept was born.

Todd.K
09-04-22, 23:20
Can we write fantastically false books and make movies of them like other operators?

SteyrAUG
09-04-22, 23:58
Can we write fantastically false books and make movies of them like other operators?

That's classified and you'd have to be a Level 6 graduate of the GLG20 program.

ST911
09-05-22, 07:16
GLG20 program.

Respect.

HKGuns
09-05-22, 08:02
How do we know SAUG isn’t Gecko45?

How do I join?

Diamondback
09-05-22, 08:11
That's classified and you'd have to be a Level 6 graduate of the GLG20 program.

Is that before or after the tour in Meal Team 6?

T2C
09-05-22, 08:29
Hilarious!

SteyrAUG
09-05-22, 15:59
How do we know SAUG isn’t Gecko45?

How do I join?

Because I wouldn't take credit for his work. Kid was brilliant.

Adrenaline_6
09-07-22, 09:42
* thinking about how I'd look in tiger camo and a purple Izod.*