View Full Version : What Did Your Father Teach You When You Were 10 That Most Adults Don't Know Today...?
Since the family had moved from Iowa to South Florida, he made sure I could ID snakes from a distance.
Rattlesnakes were rare in the south but kind of easy. He made sure I knew the difference between a coral snake (very bad) and a scarlet king snake (no danger). I had to be able to recite "red touch yellow, kill a fellow...red touch black, venom in lack" from memory.
When it came to water moccasins and water bandits he told me you won't be able to get close enough to safely know for sure so just leave them both the hell alone. He was right. Watched a lot of older kids grab the wrong snake when we were out catching them.
I was always surprised by the people who were old enough to have children who lived in South Florida and didn't know the first damn thing about snakes, or worse they had very bad information they were passing onto their kids. I once heard a person tell their kid "if you leave it alone, it will leave you alone" and it took most of my will power to not say "Well that ain't right, moccasins are the aggressive aholes of the snake world" and will swim off the bank to come F with you in the water.
And some people who try and take their kids camping today? Wow. It's a good thing they stay within 10 yards of the SUV. Cause everything they need is "in the truck." I remember learning how to navigate with the sun, make a fire and learn what stuff is safe to eat (not much, most of what grows in the wild will F you up bad). Always reminded me to bring some "long term" food like jerky.
Diamondback
09-12-23, 22:05
Not my biological father, but my grandfather: Self-esteem is EARNED, between the quality of your workmanship in what you do and trying to make somebody's day a little better than it was before you crossed paths.
hotbiggun42
09-12-23, 22:10
Gun safety
Ned Christiansen
09-12-23, 22:12
Not my biological father, but my grandfather: Self-esteem is EARNED, between the quality of your workmanship in what you do and trying to make somebody's day a little better than it was before you crossed paths.
Hah. We see people in the news every day who have a megadose of self esteem they never earned-- they just deserve it and that's enough for them. People who have a lifetime's experience at accomplishing nothing..... but are superior nonetheless.
What Dad taught me would take a book and even in adulthood I probably have not yet realized it all.
hotbiggun42
09-12-23, 22:16
Since the family had moved from Iowa to South Florida, he made sure I could ID snakes from a distance.
Rattlesnakes were rare in the south but kind of easy. He made sure I knew the difference between a coral snake (very bad) and a scarlet king snake (no danger). I had to be able to recite "red touch yellow, kill a fellow...red touch black, venom in lack" from memory.
When it came to water moccasins and water bandits he told me you won't be able to get close enough to safely know for sure so just leave them both the hell alone. He was right. Watched a lot of older kids grab the wrong snake when we were out catching them.
I was always surprised by the people who were old enough to have children who lived in South Florida and didn't know the first damn thing about snakes, or worse they had very bad information they were passing onto their kids. I once heard a person tell their kid "if you leave it alone, it will leave you alone" and it took most of my will power to not say "Well that ain't right, moccasins are the aggressive aholes of the snake world" and will swim off the bank to come F with you in the water.
And some people who try and take their kids camping today? Wow. It's a good thing they stay within 10 yards of the SUV. Cause everything they need is "in the truck." I remember learning how to navigate with the sun, make a fire and learn what stuff is safe to eat (not much, most of what grows in the wild will F you up bad). Always reminded me to bring some "long term" food like jerky.
Last year when i moved to southern Louisiana my brother told me the eyes on a mocossin was differemt than a water snake. Lol
Diamondback
09-12-23, 22:23
Hah. We see people in the news every day who have a megadose of self esteem they never earned-- they just deserve it and that's enough for them. People who have a lifetime's experience at accomplishing nothing..... but are superior nonetheless.
What Dad taught me would take a book and even in adulthood I probably have not yet realized it all.
This is because our public education system with its focus on "MUHFEEWINGS and Self Esteem Uber Alles" couldn't be a better incubator for mass-production of narcissists if it were purpose-designed with that intent. :(
Last year when i moved to southern Louisiana my brother told me the eyes on a mocossin was differemt than a water snake. Lol
That's actually true. All water moccasins do have elliptical pupils. It's a very bad idea to get close enough to one to see the shape of its pupils though. Most non venomous snakes have round pupils but there are several exceptions. For example, Coral snakes also have round pupils.
My father always impressed upon me to finish what I started and do it right the first time and not, as he would say, “half assed”. Do most adults know that today? I don’t know but that drive to finish whatever I start has stayed with me my entire life.
It was around that age that my father began telling me that life isn't fair.
He had to repeat it a few times before I remembered it.
From the look of society today not many people grew up being told that.
Carry a pocketknife or Leatherman. Kamp King, Swiss Army and Leatherman have made life a suck a little less on many occasions.
Averageman
09-13-23, 08:25
We rebuilt my grandfathers 410 and I earned about cold bluing metal and refinishing wood.
We found Grandpa's old hunting licence under the buttstock.
Not to be a late to work/school piece of shit.
How to bait a hook.
Load a revolver.
Cut down a tree.
Start a fire.
Cut a dogs toenails.
You know.
SomeOtherGuy
09-13-23, 10:18
Some basics of woodworking and car repairs, and how to NOT get injured while working with heavy or dangerous tools.
Pretty basic stuff by 60's and even 70's standards but was becoming rare by the late 80's, at least where I lived (midwestern US in a UAW town, go figure). My best friend's dad was a much bigger car guy but I can't tell that he taught his son much about how to work on them. So many of us gen X'ers are largely self-taught in the things that used to be taught by parents, or we just never learned them at all.
Adrenaline_6
09-13-23, 10:27
I was 9, my brother was 7 and cousin was 5. We would flip the Sears Roebuck, Ted Williams fiberglass rowboat over and drag it into the river, then go get and carry a 7.5HP outboard engine from it's storage shed about an 1/8 of a mile over a hill to the river.
My grandpa taught us to throw a folded oiled canvas tarp over the back of the boat to help protect the boat from the outboard clamps.
We would get the engine on the back and tighten up the clamps. We would go back to the storage shed and carry the 5 gallon metal gas can with the built in QD line and primer bulb, put it in the back of the boat and hook it up to the engine.
I was taught how to prime it, put the engine on choke, and would have to stand on the rear built in seat for height, put one leg on the outboard motor for leverage and pull the starter. It would start and off we would go, no supervision.
Parents would get in trouble for doing that in certain parts these days, but the life experiences, freedom of exploration, and just the opportunity to have to "free think" that this provided, I think, was priceless and immeasurable.
I actually thought of this one the other day, even if I haven’t done it in a while: hammer a screw driver through a stuck oil filter to get leverage to turn it.
My father taught my young self that Communists should be thrown from helicopters.
Seems like a lot of “adults” don’t know this simple fact.
Not my biological father, but my grandfather: Self-esteem is EARNED, between the quality of your workmanship in what you do and trying to make somebody's day a little better than it was before you crossed paths.
No disrespect to your grandfather, but he was actually meaning self respect.
Self esteem is accepting yourself without any attempt at improvement.
Self respect is working to be the kind of person you'd respect.
Nothing. He worked basically 8a to 8p six days /week, sundays off, and two weeks vacation /year. All I learned was that there is no phucking way in hell I was following this example.
Unfortunately he passed when I got to the point where I made in less than week what he made in a year.
It was actually my best friend's dad.
He taught us how to set ignition points and adjust a carburetor.
He also taught us a lot about being decent human beings and acting like responsible men.
All of those things seem obsolete and outdated now.
Averageman
09-13-23, 21:14
He showed me how to use the Library, be respectful while I'm in there and the "Dewey Decimil System.
I got my love of reading from him.
mine taught me how to drive a tractor at 10 then taught me how to make rows nice and straight when he was happy I got to plow 50 acres without supervision. was totally stoked when I got done then dad rained on my parade and made me replow 10 acres to get the lines to his satisfaction
That's actually true. All water moccasins do have elliptical pupils. It's a very bad idea to get close enough to one to see the shape of its pupils though. Most non venomous snakes have round pupils but there are several exceptions. For example, Coral snakes also have round pupils.
As far as I know the non-venomous split vs. venomous non-split belly scale pattern is universal, but dang near useless.
https://www.jbsrattles.com/www.jbsrattles.com/Venomous_Snake_Identification.html
Honesty. Dad taught me if you screw up, own up to it. You’ll be in more trouble trying to lie your way out of something than if you fess up to begin with. I guess politicians never got that message.
No disrespect to your grandfather, but he was actually meaning self respect.
Self esteem is accepting yourself without any attempt at improvement.
Self respect is working to be the kind of person you'd respect.
Can't recall where I heard or read that, but it would have been late 80's to early 90's.
My dad taught me at a pretty young age to change the oil in the car, replace the radiator and brake rotors and calipers, rotate tires. He also taught me how to build and start fires and general safety stuff. My grandfather taught me how to dress deer and squirrels and to sharpen knives.
ThirdWatcher
09-13-23, 22:40
My Dad taught me how to write cursive. Being a Navy btat, I switched schools often enough to miss a few things along the way and learning to write cursive was one of them. I’m not sure that’s even a requirement anymore. (BTW, best school I ever attended was in Santee, CA in the early 1960’s.)
How to change the oil on a CAT 3208 in the bilge of a Bertram
How to harvest every single edible part of a deer. He was a physician. Seriously, we ate the heart, liver and even kidneys
How to drive stick on a 1974 GMC that we had named Homer (before the cartoon show)(He named the truck after the author of The Iliad and The Odyssey)
Good or bad he taught me to be self reliant. Our family fixes our own vehicles and heavy equipment, builds our own houses, and generally don't hire anyone except for the tasks we really hate like drywall.
That most adults don't know today? Jeez, half the things my Dad taught me by 10 probably qualify. I could saddle and ride a horse, drive a tractor, drive a manual car or truck, refinish wood, use hand tools and some power tools, shoot a rifle or shotgun, hoe a veggie garden, kill a rattlesnake, trap and skin a fur bearer...
I knew how to tell time by the sun or stars, but not anymore. Most adults don't know the night sky rotates around the North Star now.
Andy
triggerjerk
09-14-23, 07:30
My dad taught mostly by example. Behave, personal responsibility, earn your way, family first. He did deliberately tell me one thing in my early 30s that stands out. We were on the phone, and I was whining about my new boss. He said, "Son, the boss isn't always wrong." I thought about it, and then made the boss's agenda my priority. 28 yrears later, the boss and I parted ways with a feeling of mutual respect.
Not a thing. Dad left when I was 8 and my brother was 5, and never looked back.
Adrenaline_6
09-14-23, 07:46
It was actually my best friend's dad.
He taught us how to set ignition points and adjust a carburetor.
He also taught us a lot about being decent human beings and acting like responsible men.
All of those things seem obsolete and outdated now.
I learned from a friends dad too. He had a workshop in his garage and he allowed all of us to tinker with tools, soldering irons, chargers etc.
He told me: "when someone gives you advice on a subject/hobby/whatever that you aren't very knowledgeable in, don't believe sh*t they tell you. Go pick up a book, learn about it and find out yourself because more than likely you'll find out that they are dumbassess and they don't know sh*t." Man was he right most of the time on that one.
He also said: "if you're right and you know you're right, who cares what the other people think. They can hate on you, bitch, moan, and you will probably make enemies because of it, but the truth is the truth, and in the end, when everything comes to a head, they can't tell you sh*t, because they know their wrong and you know their wrong."
To do a job right the first time even if it’s a little harder or takes a little longer
To properly use a chainsaw, to stick weld, and most importantly, to be decisive.
My Father taught me that you put in 8 hours work for 8 hours pay. He taught me that I should protect the weak and defend my country. He also taught me that I should never look down on someone who makes less money than the next guy. It's how you live, not how much you own that's important.
My old man told me "If you're gonna be in a fight, and it's unavoidable, get the first shot in".
How to properly mix a highball Ezra brooks and coke, how to shift gears with out spilling your drink, that drinking and driving is normal, and how to kill and get rid of a nuisance. My wife always wonders how I am somewhat normal. I vowed to never repeat my dad's life.
Dad taught me that if you wanted more than your 10 cents/week allowance you better find a way to earn it your self. Thankfully, in the mid fifties littering was no big deal. Plenty of pop bottles in the ditches to return for three cents per.
Mom taught us the realities of business with our Kool-Aid stands. Had to pay for the powder and sugar out of the profits. Sold greeting cards and seeds door-to-door at age ten. When I was old enough for a paper route all allowance ceased.
hotrodder636
09-17-23, 08:33
Taught me how to do drywall work, work on an engine, basic plumbing. I am sure there is more but those are the things that immediately come to mind.
P2Vaircrewman
09-17-23, 09:24
Measure twice, cut once, my dad was a carpenter.
fedupflyer
09-17-23, 16:59
That a good portion of the population live above their means.
Two nice cars in the driveway, a nice house and maybe a boat and some toys but yet cant afford to heat/cool the place and have to fiance repairs.
But yet a chicken farmer that I thought barely had two nickels to rub together would come in a buy a complete new top of the line kitchen and pay cash.
I grew up in the white goods biz and saw the interior of many houses.
That a good portion of the population live above their means.
Two nice cars in the driveway, a nice house and maybe a boat and some toys but yet cant afford to heat/cool the place and have to fiance repairs.
But yet a chicken farmer that I thought barely had two nickels to rub together would come in a buy a complete new top of the line kitchen and pay cash.
I grew up in the white goods biz and saw the interior of many houses.
I used to explain to people that while I can finance a Ferrari, I can't afford a Ferrari, usually to blank stares. Most people live at the extreme of their credit limit. My "won the lotto" day came when I sold my house and moved, and was able to pay off all of my credit cards / financing and put 80% down on the house I'm in.
I don't have any credit cards, if the money isn't in the bank, I can't afford to buy it. My combined monthly expenses are 1/3 of what most people are paying just on their mortgage.
My father died when I was very young, and so most of my lessons come from my Grandpa. He was a very successful business man in the Mid-sized city he lived in, he owned several businesses and was car dealer who ended up in a partnership where he had stake in about 16 different dealerships located in the Dakota's, Minnesota, Iowa, and Montana. There was so many times growing up I would see him with a broom or a shovel cleaning the dealership lots, picking up random trash that others would just walk by, his pride of ownership and attention to detail, that always stuck with me. He could have paid another employee to do the job but he wasn't above cleaning the toilets' or taking out the trash no matter how much money or power in the company he had.
My experience is a little different than most here- my dad was not very present or engaged in my life until my 30’s.
By not being around and when he was around not making great choices, he showed me basically how NOT to do things,l and how NOT to be a father- which is an equally important lesson in ways and one that most adults don’t know today as well, unfortunately.
My experience is a little different than most here- my dad was not very present or engaged in my life until my 30’s.
By not being around and when he was around not making great choices, he showed me basically how NOT to do things,l and how NOT to be a father- which is an equally important lesson in ways and one that most adults don’t know today as well, unfortunately.
At least you had your shit together enough to learn from a negative example. Probably the hardest way to learn about being a good person.
I've got some friends who are outstanding fathers because they either didn't have one at all or had a terrible one. I remember them in high school saying "I'll never be like that."
Diamondback
09-21-23, 03:45
This is why I say at the greatest gift my biological father gave me in my life was his absence from it, making room for better men to set better examples.
Averageman
09-21-23, 09:09
At least you had your shit together enough to learn from a negative example. Probably the hardest way to learn about being a good person.
I've got some friends who are outstanding fathers because they either didn't have one at all or had a terrible one. I remember them in high school saying "I'll never be like that."
Everybody's a Cowboy until it's time to saddle up.
I was a Single Dad and it's the most rewarding and yet difficult job ever. It's easy to say "I would do this." or "I would do that.".
It's a little different when you're balancing a budget, going to daycare and then work, then daycare, then College, then home at 20:00 hrs and doing laundry.
Most rewarding thing I ever did, but I honestly don't know how I did it. To hear someone who's never been in the drivers seat say "I would never be like that.", just means you don't know or can't relate.
You get to make some shitty decisons as a Dad.
My father taught me to lead by example. He was a minister but never a minister to me, but he walked the walk and was the greatest Dad anyone could ever ask for in a Dad. Never once recited the Bible, NEVER. But lived it every day.
On snakes growing up in KY, most snakes were safe. So walking to the mall we ran into a nest of snakes, someone yelled "SNAKES", we all reached down and grabbed some. Put them in shoe boxes and let them go in the mall. Cool how they slide in a mall floor. I kept mine and took it home, my fathers said hand it to me, "its a cotton mouth, lets take him to the creek". Lesson learned.
PB
Everybody's a Cowboy until it's time to saddle up.
I was a Single Dad and it's the most rewarding and yet difficult job ever. It's easy to say "I would do this." or "I would do that.".
It's a little different when you're balancing a budget, going to daycare and then work, then daycare, then College, then home at 20:00 hrs and doing laundry.
Most rewarding thing I ever did, but I honestly don't know how I did it. To hear someone who's never been in the drivers seat say "I would never be like that.", just means you don't know or can't relate.
You get to make some shitty decisons as a Dad.
It wasn't easy for them either, but like you, they just thought "what is best for the kids" and then did their best to do that. None of this shit is easy, especially on your own.
Averageman
09-21-23, 17:29
I spoke with my Son today, he's all excited about graduating and his first "Big Boy" Check coming in.
He's doing alright, he thanked me for school and the discipline, that made me feel real good.
How to hold a flashlight…lol
How to hold a flashlight…lol
And pump the brake pedal.
The first time I was given a real job, handing him the 9/16" wrench in his jumbled mess of a tool box, I handed him a crescent wrench.
Adrenaline_6
09-25-23, 08:56
How to hold a flashlight…lol
Lol...I remember getting "corrected" for that.
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