View Full Version : Which one are you?
K.L. Davis
05-27-09, 00:18
Maybe a bit dated... but still funny.
At every range, shooters from the following list of archetypes can be found. The more you think about it, the more you will realize you have seen these people. The question is, which one are you?
1. Grampa and Cody
Typically an older white guy and his sniveling grandchild (or similar junior relation). Grampa is trying to teach Cody (or Jody, or Brody, or whatever crap name the kid has) how to shoot with a 1950’s era Lakefield or Cooey .22 rifle and an empty tin can lying 10m away on the ground. Cody’s soccer mom and sensitive new-age dad aren’t too keen on this idea, but the old man overruled them. Claimed they were coddling the little brat (true) and this will be a valuable experience (doubtful). Grampa smells of rye and seems a little unsteady on his feet, and insists on holding forth about his views on how a) kids today are all idiots, b) how much better things were in the old days, c) the evils of Communism, or d) the proper place of a woman. He occasionally interrupts his diatribe to yell such helpful advice as “squeeze the trigger, dammit! Like I showed you!” without ever having bothered to explain to Cody how iron sights work. Will grudgingly dole out one round at a time from his pocket, with instructions not to waste it. In the 30’s (or whenever the ancient bastard grew up) people only made 23¢ a year and couldn’t afford to miss a shot, or they’d catch The Polio. Cody, for his part, couldn’t hit the ground with a handful of thrown rice, is close to tears, and wishes he were at home with his XBox.
2. The Range Nazi
Annoying, but basically harmless, the sole reason for existence of the Range Nazi is sucking all the fun out of shooting. Will arrive at the range with a single antiquated rifle in a calibre nobody shoots anymore, such as .32-20. Will set up a number of bullseye (never human or animal) targets at the 100m point, but does not shoot at them. Instead the Range Nazi will walk up and down the line, questioning others about the legality of their firearms, tut-tutting over the use of human silhouette targets, appointing himself boss of the range safety light, and making note of anybody being even the slightest bit unsafe(!). He will then be sure to bring up the unsafe people he witnessed being unsafe in an unsafely unsafe manner (did we mention they were unsafe?) at the next range membership meeting. Hopes to get everybody he disapproves of (which is everybody) kicked out of the range. Only then will it be safe, and only then will nobody behave in a manner certain to reflect discredit upon the range and shooting in general. Cringes every time a firearm is referred to as a weapon, as if somehow an anti-gun lobbyist will hear it and yell “Ah ha! Ban them! Ban them all!”. Has the phone number of every member of the range executive committee on his speed dial. Despite his intrusive ways, the Range Nazi will generally piss off when told to do so.
3. The Tea Drinking Man.
Arrives 5 minutes after the range opens, and won’t leave until it closes. Takes five trips to unload all his gear from his Buick Riviera (or similar old-fart-mobile), yet only brought two guns. Shooting routine consists of the following: Painstakingly selects a single round of ammo. Unloads it and puts it back in box. Adjusts scope. Has a drink of tea from thermos. Selects a different round of ammo. Loads into rifle. Sights in on target. Consults shooting log. Takes round out. Has drink of tea. Falls asleep. Wakes up. Adjusts sight again. And so on and so on… May or may not actually fire within the hour. Rarely makes it through more than ten rounds before the range closes for the day. Becomes annoyed when other shooters a) disturb his concentration (or napping) with the sound of their firing, b) request cease-fires to change targets that are shot out (a concept foreign to him), or c) check him for a pulse occasionally. Has been a member of the range since longbows were considered assault weapons, and is still working on the same box of ammo. When not at the range, can be found at the local gun store engaging the counter staff in hours of meandering conversation about nothing in particular.
4. Jesse and Jamie.
These are the two, for lack of a better term, rednecks. Will show up driving a full size diesel pickup that cost more than their doublewide trailer. Due to gender-ambiguous names, it is certain you will confuse who is who, and use the wrong name in conversation. Jesse (or Jamie, it depends) is down about the mill laying him off again. He’s pretty sure foreigners of some sort are responsible, and is waiting for his unemployment to kick in. Until then they subsist on Jamie’s (or Jesse’s) earnings as a hairdresser. Listen to both kinds of music, country and western. Truck will have at least one kerchief-wearing dog in the back named “Buddy”. Eager to compare a) hunting knives, b) belt buckle sizes, c) brands of chewing tobacco, d) line dancing steps or e) recipes that start with “take a side of beef…”. Shoot his and hers lever action rifles, and believe that any calibre less than a .30-30 is unmanly, while anything bigger is wasteful. Guns will be stored in vinyl gun socks from Target (if they’re over 40) or Walmart (if they’re young ‘uns). Optics, if any, will be of no more than 4x magnification and look as if they were used to hammer in nails at some point. Like to talk about how good it will be once the season starts and they have the opportunity to fill up their spare freezers. Dress almost exclusively in plaid jackets and jeans, but each has a set of “formal” cowboy boots at home for special occasions. Instinctively distrust the government, and wonder whatever happened to Preston Manning.
5. The Paramilitary Poseur
Difficult to actually see at the range due to the camouflage and SWAT gear he is wearing. Generally at least 20kg overweight, the Paramilitary Poseur is the ultimate expression of the suburban commando. Eager to discuss the best type of ammunition to use against marauding feminist ninja bank robbers or armor-plated bears. Loves to drop cryptic references to his past life as an Airborne Special Forces Delta-SEAL, which he can’t go into detail about “for security reasons”. Note: this person has never been in the military or the police. He’s most likely a mailman or a mall security guard; any job where he gets a uniform, but which doesn’t require too much hard work or talent. Claims to be a master of some arcane martial art nobody has ever heard of, like “Krav Jitsu Fu. Could kill you just by staring at you really hard. Weapons of the Poseur will generally have all sorts of “tactical” accessories added to them, effectively tripling their price and mass without doing anything to improve his shooting. Has strong opinions on the .338 Lapua vs. .408 Chey-Tac debate, despite never having fired either. Will own at least one SKS made up to look like a Dragunov, and a “sniper rifle” that turns out to be a hunting rifle with the biggest scope one can get (for under $100) mounted on it. Shooting bag will contain a) back issues of Soldier of Fortune, b) a really big knife with teeth up the back, c) 10 rounds of military surplus 5.56mm FMJ that he bought at a gun show, and d) a 1970’s vintage Soviet night vision scope that won’t mount on anything he owns.
6. The Man in Tac-Black
A rare sight at civilian ranges, but easy to spot once he’s there. Generally arrives in a 4×4 straight out of Mad Max, or a Crown Victoria with poorly-concealed lights in the grille. May or may not have a moustache reminiscent of a gay porn star, but will have a very short haircut. Weapons are generally black, scary looking, and numerous. Can easily fill a rack with what he brought just to do some informal plinking with. The envy of the Paramilitary Poseur and the sworn nemesis of the IPSC wiener. Insists on lying in the dirt in the prone position instead of using the shooting bench like a reasonable human being. Gets confused when not everybody is shooting the same type of weapon and serial as he is. May even begin what he calls a “run down” without warning, so be wary. Shooting bag will contain a) the Dropzone PSP catalogue, b) a bayonet for at least one of his rifles, c) hundreds of rounds of 5.56mm FMJ he stole from work, and d) a number of 30 round magazines that have been pinned to 30 rounds. Takes pride in hitting targets that others can barely see, but becomes bored easily and will often try to use a shotgun or even a pistol for targets at long range. Quick to recognize others of his own kind and engage in the arcane ritual of “who-do-you-know-and-where-have-you-been”. Also has strong opinions on the .338 Lapua vs. .408 Chey-Tac debate, having fired both. Doesn’t flinch when firing, or when those around him fire. May, in fact, be stone deaf.
7. The Punk-Ass Amateur
A common sight at most ranges, a danger to himself and everyone around him, but blissfully unaware of the fact. Arrives at the range in a small import car, which bottoms out two or three times on the rough access road. Weapons will be made by Norinco or Hi-Point, as they cost less than anything else and he really doesn’t know any better. Barrel may still be full of the original packing grease, as “weapons maintenance” is a foreign concept to him. Targetry will consist of pieces of the cardboard box the weapon came in with hand-drawn circles on them. Fires off 40 rounds of ammo bought at local store (for full price) as quickly as possible. Fond of such effective shooting positions as the “from the hip”, the “close my eyes and flinch every time I fire” and the ever-popular “try to hold the rifle one-handed like a pistol”. Won’t hit a thing and doesn’t care; he’s there to bust caps and socialize. Once out of ammo, will roam about the range examining other shooters’ weapons and looking hopeful in the off chance they let him try one. Often accompanied by Idiot Girlfriend.
8. The Idiot Girlfriend.
Usually found in the company of the Punk-Ass Amateur. Typically between the ages of 18 and 26, the Idiot Girlfriend doesn’t like the range, but wants to ensure her boyfriend isn’t involved in any activity that doesn’t include her. Arrives woefully unprepared for the range, with no water, unsuitable clothing, and often no hearing protection. Will, however, have flawless makeup. After a period not exceeding 20 minutes, will immediately begin complaining about a) how hot it is, b) how cold it is, c) the lack of washrooms, d) the condition of any washrooms there happen to be, or e) the noise. If she isn’t the centre of attention when she first arrives, she will make it her business to be. A drama queen at heart, she will resort to pouting, whining, stamping her little feet and locking herself in the car if she believes her boyfriend is more interested in shooting than in her plight of discomfort. Rarely seen actually firing, but will try it if the gun seems cute or non-threatening enough. Likes .22’s due to the low recoil and quiet report. Not a fan of the .338 Winchester magnum, for obvious reasons. In the off chance she fires something with even the slightest bit of recoil, she will immediately begin a display of overacted injury normally reserved for World Cup matches.
9. The Homie
Formerly considered a sub-variant of the Punk-Ass Amateur, the Homie has been sighted in sufficient numbers to grant him his own category. His arrival will be heralded by the booming bass coming from a stereo more powerful than the car he put it in. Drives a blinged-out import car or a lowered SUV, anything that would look at home in “The Fast and the Furious”. Like the Punk-Ass Amateur, will bottom out two or three times on the poor road leading to the range. Weapons will generally match his vehicle for sheer tackiness and lack of practicality. If he has the money he will own a Desert Eagle, in .50 calibre, with a gold chrome finish. Will definitely have a Glock 9mm, as it is what all his heroes on MTV carry. Actually thinks shooting with the weapon canted 90 degrees to the left is effective; cannot understand why the ejected brass keeps hitting him in the face. Dress of the Homie is distinctive and usually follows a theme of a ludicrously oversized track suit, lots of chunky 8-karat gold chains, designer sunglasses that cost more than his guns, and a particularly offensive cologne he applies with a cropduster. Likes to speak in ebonics and flash gang signs. Parents are tax attorneys and live in a gated community. Would likely wet himself if ever confronted by real gangsters.
10. The Recreationist
A strange breed, the Recreationist likes to travel in packs. Dressed in a costume made up of at least four kinds of animal skin and wearing a hat with a tail hanging from it, the Recreationist loves to pretend he lives in the time of the frontier. This applies to his firearms, personal gear, and hygiene when in character, unfortunately. Prefers to be called by some self-applied moniker like “Mountain Mike” or “Raccoon-eating Dave” instead of his real name. Owns a $6000 handcrafted Italian reproduction blackpowder musket and a custom belt knife that cost more than a used motorcycle. Spent three years and thousands of dollars researching his outfit for authenticity; still looks like a hobo. Has never slept outside a night in his life, and takes 4 different medications for allergies. The Recreationist loves to use period slang, often saying things like “varmint” or “dadgummit”, believing this makes him more authentic. May occasionally become confused and throw in a “Get thee hence” or “Zounds!” for good measure. Has nothing but disdain for newfangled weapons, “newfangled” indicating anything capable of firing more than one aimed shot in a minute. Loves to engage in staged duels with others of his own kind, as he is an actor at heart. Once “shot” will begin a 10-minute death scene worthy of Sir Laurence Olivier… or the Idiot Girlfriend. Arrived at the range in a BMW 740i with onboard GPS navigation and a car fax.
11. The Guest
The Guest, as the title implies, is not actually a member of the range, and does not own any guns. They’re just somebody who got invited to come along by one of the other archetypes. Guests will generally just stand quietly and not touch anything until invited to do so, but some are prone to know-it-all-ism, and have the bad habit of thinking they actually have some sort of skills with firearms based on their extensive combined CounterStrike experience and collection of action movies. The quiet guest will gamely try anything he is handed, so the temptation to hand him the hardest kicking rifle you own and then tell him to put his eye “right up on the scope” must be avoided. Initially leery of firearms, the guest will usually quickly overcome their fears, make the obligatory “it doesn’t sound like that on TV” comments, and settle into some good supervised fun. The obnoxious guest will immediately make his way to the rifle rack, select the most visually impressive weapon, assure onlookers that he requires no help, and then spend 10 minutes trying to figure out how to chamber a round. Quiet guests may become a regular fixture and eventually become shooters themselves. Obnoxious ones are seldom invited back.
12. The IPSC Weiner
Loves to congregate with others of his own kind and take over entire ranges for days at a time so he can play gunfighter. Will construct entire towns out of plywood and cardboard in order to shoot for one afternoon. Owns a custom racegun worth more than the car he arrived in. Likes to dress in obnoxiously coloured clothes with firearms manufacturers’ logos prominently displayed on them in hopes others will think he’s sponsored. He isn’t. The mortal enemy of the Man in Tac-Black, due to an ancient dispute over the definition of practical shooting. Engages in “realistic” combat shooting scenarios such as being seated on a toilet while wearing a holstered handgun, and suddenly having to dispatch two armed terrorists who broke into his bathroom. Will collect your ejected brass before it has a chance to bounce, whether he shoots that calibre or not. Likes to work into conversation the number of dubious shooting academies he’s attended, and name drop any quasi-celebrity IPSC shooters he knows in order to impress others. Doesn’t work. Hates being confronted by questions like “just how practical is a pistol that falls out of the holster, fires if you even look at it dirty, and requires 60 hours of maintenance a week?” or “what kind of lunatic would immediately holster his pistol and yell ‘clear’ at a stopwatch-wielding bystander in a real gunfight?”, or the dreaded “wouldn’t a shotgun be more effective?”.
13. The Hippie.
A rarity at most ranges, the Hippie is usually an acquaintance of a shooter who has been brought to the range after shooting their mouth off about guns one too many times. Could be considered an offshoot of the Guest, but is different in that they have no interest in shooting for shooting’s sake; they’re looking for further evidence to support their patchouli-soaked and generally worthless opinions. Ironically, will arrive clad in more army surplus than the Paramilitary Poseur. Hippies will claim this is done to make an ironic social commentary, but the truth is that camouflage is less likely to show stains, and they can’t afford real clothes. Will comment about the “negative energy” coming off the guns, but rest assured, your firearms are not generating an ionic discharge. They are referring to the “aura” that a non-organic, inanimate object inexplicably possesses. More likely witnessing an acid flashback, or possibly hallucinating out of hunger due to all-tofu diet. Will try firing, only after wondering aloud why anyone needs guns, and inquiring as to how many children you’ve shot at. Do not let the Hippie fire from anything but a supported position, as they will certainly scream and drop your weapon sights-down onto the concrete. This is an excellent way to convert a precision rifle scope into a hollow black tube. After firing a minimum of rounds, and picking up an “idiot cut” along the way, the Hippie will leave, never to return. They will, however, now feel free to consider themselves an expert on firearms.
I'm more of the grumpy Iraq Vet. Who wears jeans and a tshirt and has several weapons including some class III bought with deployment money. Who shakes his head at Grandpa and Cody because they are having trouble with their target and lane. Despises the Range Nazi because he reminds him of SNCO's who stay on the big FOB's and never leave the wire. Wonders what the Tea Drinking Man is even doing at a public range. Worries about Jesse and Jamie and the handloads they got from Cousin Jimbo because of the possibility of being loaded improperly. Laughs at the Paramilitary Poseur and his lack of experience other than Counter Strike and Airsoft wars. Definitely distrusts the Man in Tac Black because of his creepy stare while I'm shooting in the prone and him fondling his pistol. Gives up on helping the punk ass amateur and his gf because they are just beyond help, and wonder how they are allowed in the range. Tells the Homie not to touch my stuff and no that is not the "bin laden" joint and that ak47s are not called "choppers".
SNCO's who stay on the big FOB's and never leave the wire.
What unit were you with???:D I'm just kidding, thats funny
There are so many more. What about the dude that keeps rolling off 30 round mags in under 5 seconds while never hitting a thing? How about the long range sniper guy that misses with every round that he took 20 min to place?
I'm the jeans and T-shirt guy that has a couple pistols and couple rifles with mags pre-loaded and stick-on targets. I will have each rifle set up as such: One with irons, one with a red dot, and one with a scope. I will work my way through them doing my best to get a fair group size, but I don't expect much... I'm an ameture. I will shoot my pistols in hopes of being able to place each round inside of center mass at 15 yards... if I can keep doing that, I am fine with my ameture pistol skills. I'll go talk to the guys with the thunderous black powder bombers because they are impressive to behold. I'll also talk to anyone with any contemporary semi-auto rifles... just because I like that style of weapon.
I wont lay prone and get dirty, I'll use the bench or simply stand or sqaut. I won't claim to be black ops or ex Marine Recon.... I'll admit to being a guy who just likes his toys and wants to maintain a basic level of skill to safely operate them and if pushed, could use them for the intended job to some degree.
Gun Store Employee wanna-be's......they work in some obscure shop in a po-dunk town selling firearms. They sell 'em all day so obviouly they know everything there is to know about them. You can readily identify them by talking to them about the guns they have (have) being the key word here....have shot. It is appearent however that they are armchair marksmen who are quick to argue in detail about the latest shooting articles out of Guns and Ammo.
Those that fit those stereotypes, as well as others, will never see it in themselves even though everyone else sees it quite clearly.
I don't find myself in there. :(
I never shoot at the public range though because I'm too easily irritated by all of the types listed.
I didn't see this guy listed:
RANGE PATROLMAN:
Self appointed douche bag who patrols the line checking for anyone with an NFA item and making sure that they are in compliance with THEIR (always incorrect) interpretation of the NFA laws and requirements. When these masturbators aren't patroling the firing line, they're on the net fighting over NFA issues and letting everyone know they could be busted for Constructive Intent!!
Didnt see me either, but Ive run into a lot of the Punk Ass Amateurs and Girlfriends as well as the Homies
decodeddiesel
05-27-09, 11:20
Another grumpy Iraq Veteran I suppose...
sandman99and9
05-27-09, 11:29
Had a homie last week on the range turn to his buddy and sweep every one on the line with his glock !! He was asked to leave the range.
s.m.
Cardiac Nurse
05-27-09, 13:06
don't see me on the list .... advantage of shooting at a range you may get to bring home more brass for reloading than you brought...disadvantages- dealing with all of the above
Mr.Goodtimes
05-27-09, 13:43
i didnt see my type up there either.
im the dude that looks to be in great shape and is pretty good looking, can sometimes be found at the range teaching your daughter how to shoot, doesent speak unless spoken to. i bring two guns to the range, my 16in ar15 and beretta 92. my clothing varies, i can typically be found wearing jeans, boots and a humerous t-shirt of some sort from abercrombie and fitch or hollister, or possibly khaki cargo pants with an under armor tactical collared range shirt, with merel boots, moms typically love me because i have a southern draw and im really, really, really polite, naturally. i shoot pretty well, but when approached dont claim to know a lot or be anyone special. i bring a couple of spare mags with me and practice doing mag changes, rapid fire drills and the like to stay proficient with my weapons in case i need to use them, im pretty well prepared for when the shtf but im not overly paranoid about it and my life doesent evolve around it. i wish to one day join the military and hopefully be pretty highspeed, and am actually in the process of doing so, should actually be signed up soon, but i dont tout this like im someone special because, i know im not special, and because i look at other people that do that and think their douche bags, its just wrong. i despise the range nazi and range partollman. i also cant stand the mall ninjas and super tactical wanna be fat asses. they spend all this money on super gear but would shit their pants if a bullet ever came their way, and look like they would die just running to their car to grab an emergency doughnut.
i think that its good to be prepared, proficient, and ready to go if the need be but dont get carried away with it, i feel like i can take care of my self if the time came but i dont pretend to be a super navy seal delta operator, and dont play one at the range. i sometimes derive humor from listening to the uber tactical wannabees spout their shit, will accosionally egg them on about flying saucers and .gov conspiracies because im sort of a sarcastic smart ass.
I found myself in the list by name only....Cody...'cept I'm the 60 yr. old guy who lives in SE Idaho where 2/3 of the land is BLM with unlimited range. I have to look out for the occasional cow and God forbid the wolf who might run into my trajectory. Did I say wolf? I meant large coyote. :D
RogerinTPA
05-27-09, 21:52
Mine is dependent on who's on the range at that particular time.
If retards are abound, I'm the "Don't interrupt me with stupid questions while I'm doing drills" kinda guy.
or, a group of fat guys with shorts and flip flops wearing arfcom shirts, I'm the "Leave me the hell alone, I don't care what you're shooting and I don't want to answer questions about my weapon or gear" kinda guy
or " the Vet who wears cool t-shirts and helps struggling folks out" (Most of the time)
or "Sure your hot girlfriend/wife can try out my AR" kinda guy. (All of the time) :D
ahhh im totally the poser! and im not ashamed of it..ill break out my acu's, paraclete RAV with sapi plates/kevlar inserts & pouches. my altama boots and my drop leg holster. im a total nerd about the military, why? well, quite simply i love this shit.. all my life. only reason i didnt end up enlisting was the success of my band. it is now my full time career.
if it all ended tomorrow ide be in the army recruiting center the next day ready to ship out to BCT. who knows maybe one day ill still have an opportunity to serve.
I am a dude who has taken a few classes, dry-fires at home, spends half of his ammo practicing fundamentals at slow pace, and still can't keep all his rounds within NRA bullseye at 25 yards.
I am a dude who has taken a few classes, dry-fires at home, spends half of his ammo practicing fundamentals at slow pace, and still can't keep all his rounds within NRA bullseye at 25 yards.
haha. knew I wasn't the only one. those couple of stray rounds drive me nuts every time.:)
Those are awesome. I would say for a while I was more along the guest type. Now I'm some jacked up hybrid. Im the guy who shoes up looking like he may of escaped some radical militant compound, or perhaps a confused redneck punk want to be S.W.A.T. guy or some crap. I have the Mr. Clean haircut with usually some punk style facial hair, 50's military glasses. either some gun type shirt or motorcyle shirt. My aresonal is only the result of shooting guns that other people owned, lots of good advice & research. I shoot like a guy who has some training but who has not figured out how to put it all together. Yep I'm basically really Phuked up.
Absolutely hysterical. Thanks man. I've seen all those people. Lots of Jessie and Jamie but when they're a bit older. The paramilatary's crack me up. Man in tac-black kinda freaky but also funny. Plenty of grandpa and Cody but usually gramps is less senile and does come up with a few helpful tips-sometimes.
As most, don't really see myself. Go to the range prepared, mags loaded at least initially. Jeans or cargos, maybe tshirt or fleece. Driving the import but not slammed (Subie's suspension is better a little higher), or blinged out -- all performance here. A little bit of hippie in the tunes dept (Phish, Dead, jazz, classic rock) but not all the gun bashing, pinko lefty rhetoric to go along with it :) Like to talk to the shop owners, etc. but they're busy and there to sell guns not bs; so while I enjoy the conversation and talking guns, try not to waste their time. Only bring a couple guns and nothing flashy, ancient, cheap or gimicky, or purely exoctic just so hoping people will ask about it to make my day. Just simple--sig, 1911, etc.
Anyway, made my night reading this. Couldn't stop laughing. Stereotypes are a real time saver ;)
This is good. I like the
Don't interrupt me with stupid questions while I'm doing drills
At the public range tend to get the looks of "if I have to ask you what you do, you'll have to kill me." But then here, so do a lot of folks.
I'm a volunteer range officer at another range where all of that is off the table. Have to as well as like to help folks there.
i dunno what i am... younger guy with beard in band t-shirt that spent 1000 bucks on 9mm in 3 months learning to shoot his new glock?
inconspicuous concealed carry advocate?
new york guy still enamored with colorado firearms freedoms? :D
DavidFourteen
05-28-09, 00:08
I'm the nearly-40 geeky-looking guy who all the Punk-Ass Amateurs and Paramilitary Poseurs feel compelled to wander up to and engage in unwelcome discussion.
SWATcop556
05-28-09, 00:45
I'm the guy that, when I have to go to the public range I see "homies" and "hippies" that I've had to introduce to handcuffs and the backseat of a patrol car. I remember having the GF at the range and thought "why did I even ****ing bother."
I guess I give off a general vibe of "piss off" and "I don't need you telling me how to shoot" that the range nazi's and range patrolmen leave me alone (most of the time).
I just have to be thankful for a department owned range and issued ammo.
I once was that "guy in tac-black" minus the facial hair........but that was when I worked for an unnamed agency doing "wet work" :cool: :D
i guess i'm closest to IPSC weiner.. i don't construct towns, but i bring home-made "training aids" and move a lot. i don't wear any IPSC crap.. generally wear my LBE over my usual is-he-a-redneck?-i-cant-tell-for-sure clothes.
two additions:
The Fudd-
Grampa and Tea Drinking Man are simply Fudd sects, the parent classification is deserving of recognition. the Fudd ONLY comes in early fall, will show up with a rem 700 in 3006 or 308 and wearing a simmons scope, drop a box of 5000gr soft tips on the bench, spend two hours adjusting his sandbags, fires three 1-shot groups, adjusting his scope between each, and occasionally scowling at you when he thinks you're not looking. If he says anything to you, it'll be a passive-aggressive jab in the form of a question about what you hunt with your AR. He is firmly convinced that you and your ARs are going to cause a total gun-ban, and so fully supports an AWB. The thought of using a gun in a defensive situation has never occured to him.
Weird Mother****er-
A rare treat, he drives a '84 Yugo or some other any oxidized 20-year old shoe-box sized car with body damage, covered in Libertarian/pro 2A stickers. Somehow he packed his gigantic hard-shell rifle case and three gigantic range bags into a 5cf hatch already half full of empty coffe cups, mcdonalds bags, machining manuals and perhaps a dead body.. drags his shit to the end-bench at the longest range and sets up his $4,000 swaravski spotting scope and matching 200mm apeture riflescope. upon opening his rifle case, your jaw drops at the hideous abomination he draws from within- weighing in at 45lbs unloaded, he appears to have difficulty hoisting it up onto the table with arms the size of broomsticks, atrophied from years standing in front of a mill for 14 hours a day and subsisting on nothing more than two pots of strong black coffee and 3 packs of cigarettes a day. You cannot identify the rifle to save your life, which isn't a surprise once he proudly reveals to you that it took him 3 years to machine it himself, 6 months of that on the 96" long, 3" thick barrel alone, made from a bar of 416 steel originally valued at $950, which he stole from work. bipod flexing against the weight, the weapon, upon firing, displays no recoil, despite the .300 win mag reloads he's chrono'd at 5,000 FPS. After a few sets, he comes over and taps you on the shoulder, interrupting your fire, to slowly and effeminately brag about his .005 MOA group at 3,000m. Though highly knowledgeable and skilled with his weapon, his is utterly socially inept, and conversation with him is so painful you make up any excuse you can- even leave the range early- just to get the **** away from him. Never accompanied by anyone (except the chick in the trunk).
What about the guy who drives off into the desert to shoot by himself because he can't stand types 1-13? Because that would be me.
What about the guy who drives off into the desert to shoot by himself because he can't stand types 1-13? Because that would be me.
Or the gun fanatic that people might consider his fascination with firearms a disorder. The one who goes to the range and drops 500-1k rounds down range, sometimes of one caliber sometimes of other caliber. The guy that gets a kick out of shooting rows of bowling pins down at 25 yards with his 45 1911, yet is reluctant to do it when asked to. He also gets a kick out of testing the penetrating power of some of his reloaded rounds of ammo. Often shoots at his own range in the country with friends that enjoy the same style of shooting and don't mind cease firing to go down range to change new targets. Has invested more money in firearms then his retirement fund has.
Interesting the need some feel to call attention to the idea that they are "none of the above".
Also interesting how many replies reference clothing, as if intentionally NOT dressing for the range is any different than dressing for the range.
Interesting the need some feel to call attention to the idea that they are "none of the above".
Well since its like that, I guess I'm a cross between the poser (apparently because of my size, I played OL in college) and the tac-black guy. My weapons are all quality, and well thought out, and I've never owned an SKS or crappy Russian scope. I own a significant amount of quality gear, little of which applies to my job, but I'd rather have it and not need it, than need it and not have it when the SHTF. I never make any claims to be in, or have been in, any military unit, super-secret or not. I have no ninja skills either. While I guess you could label my job as "security guard", its not at the mall. I've shot the .338 Lapua, not the .408 Chey-tac, but I don't claim to know enough about either one to argue its merits. I do know what they are though. Loud gunfire doesn't bother me, but I'm not deaf. And I guess you could say my Jeep looks like its out of Mad Max. Besides all that, I still usually shoot by myself in the desert, wearing normal hiking boots, cargo pants, and a 5.11 shirt. No ACU or drop leg holsters either.
Littlelebowski
05-28-09, 07:52
I'm the guy wearing shorts and sandals. Other than that, it's kind of hard to typify me. i may show up with a 10/22, a 5.45 AR, or a 6.5 Swedish Mauser.
Failure2Stop
05-28-09, 08:31
I can't believe you left out. . .
Self-Appointed Instructor Guy
Never actually seen at his own bay or lane. Can be occasionally seen fumbling his draw from concealment, and anticipating his first shot on presentation so badly he would be lucky to actually hit an IDPA target at 7 yards. Can almost get a reload done in 7 seconds. . . flat. Despite his lack of proficiency, credability, or training, he will spend most of his time walking the line, looking at other shooters, randomly shaking his head at what he percieves to be a fault. If the shooter happens to make the fatal flaw of making eye contact the SAIG will proclaim loudly, "here, let me show you something" and completely misdiagnose whatever issue the shooter is actually having. If he doesn't proclaim the Weaver to be the fighting grip of Zeus himself, he will get the shooter into the poorest Iso Possible with floating thumbs and a barely perceptable support hand grip. Will chant such things as, "front sight press!", "sights, sights, sights!", and "you're snatching the trigger" having no idea what that actually means or bothering to explain it, whether or not it has anything to do with the problem. If wound up enough to give a demonstration he will completely screw up everything, but will display an air of smug superiority. Often seen watching the IPSC Weiner from concealment.
And don't forget. . .
Proficient User at Fudd Range
Has a reasonable and well-maintained layout. Safely checks his weapons and gear prior to firing. Arrives with enough ammo to cause the Fudds to proclaim, "so that's where all the ammo is going, hyuck hyuck". Is only using the range because he needs to A) sight in a new optic, B) check zero, C) do a few proficiency drills or D) get away from the GF/Wife, because A) his work range is getting funny about personally owned weapons, B) his normal range is closed/burned down, or C) he is out of town. The concept of 1 shot a second burns his soul. Gets practice burning holes in people with his stare when the local range bumpkin makes any of the following observations 1) "got enough stuff on that gun?" 2) "you don't need to hunch your shoulders, you know", 3) "you'll never hit anything with that rifle if you shoot like that", 4) "is that a Bushmaster?". Can regularly be seen outshooting others with 9X optics at 200 yards while using a T-1 and a 10.5" SBR.
I'd have to say I'm the "It's cheaper than a psychologist" guy.
I just love to shoot. I like to see progress in that shooting. Yes, there's a shot timer almost permanently attached to my left hip. If I'm not seeing better accuracy/speed, I'll slow down and get back to basics.
But mostly, it's because it's a relaxing sport that I've done for years and it's just plain fun.
Cardiac Nurse
05-28-09, 09:25
Interesting the need some feel to call attention to the idea that they are "none of the above".
Also interesting how many replies reference clothing, as if intentionally NOT dressing for the range is any different than dressing for the range.
that's probably because I am none of any one of the above (female not male) brunette (not blond) like shooting even willing to spend a lot of money to support the habit but don't have to do it every day or even every week. like rifles and handguns...better with a rifle. My backyard works well for most of what I want to do and when I want to shoot the AR we go to a range or visit a friend with more acreage. As far as clothing goes I wear what I need to shoot comfortably. usually jeans and a long sleeved shirt/jacket.
Don't like it when I see a seven year old being handed a gun that the father/grandfather/uncle/who knows thinks is cool to see him try and hold then fall backwards as he shoots it as well as get a big hematoma on his shoulder. NOT COOL.
Also don't like sharing space with people who keep moving into your space as they fire, or their brass hitting me etc..picky aren't I? :)
Proficient User at Fudd Range
Has a reasonable and well-maintained layout. Safely checks his weapons and gear prior to firing. Arrives with enough ammo to cause the Fudds to proclaim, "so that's where all the ammo is going, hyuck hyuck". Is only using the range because he needs to A) sight in a new optic, B) check zero, C) do a few proficiency drills or D) get away from the GF/Wife, because A) his work range is getting funny about personally owned weapons, B) his normal range is closed/burned down, or C) he is out of town. The concept of 1 shot a second burns his soul. Gets practice burning holes in people with his stare when the local range bumpkin makes any of the following observations 1) "got enough stuff on that gun?" 2) "you don't need to hunch your shoulders, you know", 3) "you'll never hit anything with that rifle if you shoot like that", 4) "is that a Bushmaster?". Can regularly be seen outshooting others with 9X optics at 200 yards while using a T-1 and a 10.5" SBR.
Hehe, that's me. I'm the regular looking guy who can shoot pretty damn well.
I belong to a private range near Memphis that also hosts a large number of Fudds. Several months ago a volunteer staffer (kind of the range Nazi type, but Fudd and self appointed instructor too) came and parked behind the pistol range. My buddy and I were the only two shooters at any range within a hundred meters, but this guy came flying out of his truck when my buddy didn't put a chamber flag in his 1911. "Where's your flag? What are you trying to do? Other shooters need to know your pistol is safe!"
I looked around quietly, and then gave him a "you're a retard" look. But, we inserted the flag and continued. The guy sat in his truck, watching us for half an hour while we were shooting our 1911s (It was kind of weird). He was more friendly when he saw that we could actually shoot accurately, but sauntered over to tell us "Well, you can shoot pretty well, but you need to start moving around!" Then he lamely did some Starsky and Hutch move.
I think my biggest irritant at ranges, above all else, is when people assume you don't know much because you're not wearing a matching 5.11 ensemble and a multicam baseball hat covered in velcro patches, or use an old leather hip holster instead of some double sided drop leg gear.
Range fashion is HUGE!
You can go "Fashionably Unfashionable" like Rob_s.
Or you can go Tactical a la Madre! :cool:
I just throw on my old ass Tan BDU pants that the wifey has mended the pockets on twice, and my $20 clearance desert boots from LA police gear. Topped off with a t-shirt and a sweaty old hat. :)
951bulldog
05-28-09, 13:02
I guess this guy is a sort of offshoot of the range Nazi, but does anybody ever run into the old guy who is ALWAYS there, but never actually shoots? Same guy can be found at golf courses, although he never actually plays. He constantly gives unsolicited advice, but onlyto people he has never seen before or those he knows are too polite to kick him in the ass and send him on his way.
My buddy and I met this guy a few weeks back. We shoot trap maybe once a month, twice at most and don't claim to be or really try to be pros. We both have basic Remington 870's. $350, but it works perfect and is perfect for our purposes. Well, this no talent ass clown comes out of nowhere to tell us the reason why we missed some clays was because of our guns. Those (Remington 870's) aren't meant for full grown adults, they are meant for kids. Riiigghhtt. My buddy said he was having a problem and wanted his length of pull to be longer, which is where the kiddie gun thing came from. I said, just look online, you can probably get a new buttstock for $30 or $40. The guy says, Nope, I don;t think that is going to be as easy as you think it is, you need a new gun. Granted, this guy is about 120 years old, but still, is there ANYTHING you can't buy online?
Anyway, he goes on to pick up and finger **** everybody else's guns sitting the racks, telling us this cost $2500, this one $4000, you should get one like this, it's only $3500. So ask which one was his. guess what? None of them. He doesn't shoot here. He only shoots at the range down the road and only for money. See this belt buckle? They give out one a year to the winner. Oh, your Redlands Trap Association, 1982 buckle? Sweet.
Proficient User at Fudd Range
Has a reasonable and well-maintained layout. Safely checks his weapons and gear prior to firing. Arrives with enough ammo to cause the Fudds to proclaim, "so that's where all the ammo is going, hyuck hyuck". Is only using the range because he needs to A) sight in a new optic, B) check zero, C) do a few proficiency drills or D) get away from the GF/Wife, because A) his work range is getting funny about personally owned weapons, B) his normal range is closed/burned down, or C) he is out of town. The concept of 1 shot a second burns his soul. Gets practice burning holes in people with his stare when the local range bumpkin makes any of the following observations 1) "got enough stuff on that gun?" 2) "you don't need to hunch your shoulders, you know", 3) "you'll never hit anything with that rifle if you shoot like that", 4) "is that a Bushmaster?". Can regularly be seen outshooting others with 9X optics at 200 yards while using a T-1 and a 10.5" SBR.
Here I am! Only difference is, I shoot at a Fudd range full-time. And I did actually have a guy walk in just before I finished a session a few months ago, see my 800 casings sprawled out like a suburban subdivision, and state, with an icy tone and steely face: "So YOU'RE where all the ammo is going." No hyuck hyuck.
My Fudd range is totally empty from 8am-2 or 3pm when Fudds get off work and come push a couple rounds through their ruger/rem/winchester. i shoot on tuesdays and the range is usually ALL MINE.
Littlelebowski
05-28-09, 13:40
How about the skinny guys with Glock 34/35s that are scary good? I saw that at ToddG's last class.
CarlosDJackal
05-28-09, 14:03
I fit in way too many of these categories, I don't even know where to begin!! :D
...the Range Nazi will walk up and down the line, questioning others about the legality of their firearms, tut-tutting over the use of human silhouette targets, appointing himself boss of the range safety light...
When not at the range, can be found at the local gun store engaging the counter staff in hours of meandering conversation about nothing in particular.
May or may not have a moustache reminiscent of a gay porn star...
...will immediately begin a display of overacted injury normally reserved for World Cup matches.
...a particularly offensive cologne he applies with a cropduster.
Engages in “realistic” combat shooting scenarios such as being seated on a toilet while wearing a holstered handgun, and suddenly having to dispatch two armed terrorists who broke into his bathroom.
Will collect your ejected brass before it has a chance to bounce, whether he shoots that calibre or not.
Hippies will claim this is done to make an ironic social commentary, but the truth is that camouflage is less likely to show stains...
Those are some real gems! :D
The_War_Wagon
05-28-09, 14:51
I try to AVOID being all those types, although my Grand Marquis OR Mad Max 4x4 sometimes make OTHERS wonder... :p
losbronces
05-28-09, 15:06
None of the above...
Oh my goodness. I might be the guy with the gay porn star mustache. LOL
QuickStrike
05-28-09, 18:19
I try to AVOID being all those types
Yah, me too. I'm a civilian, so I'll never wear non-hunting camo, or anything specifically mil/LEO.
Just my preferences..
Mr.Goodtimes
05-28-09, 19:29
Oh my goodness. I might be the guy with the gay porn star mustache. LOL
oh boy....
Oh my goodness. I might be the guy with the gay porn star mustache. LOL
Why is it whenever a Navy Seal/former seal is interviewed on a military channel show, there's a 99% chance they have that very gay looking mustache? :confused: ..... seriously... it's creepy.
Naw it's just the fickleness of shifting fashions in our mainstream culture. For much of my life the goatee was creepy. Then maybe 10 years ago it took off, went mainstream, and now has faded but's been retained among a "tougher" sub-section of the greater population. In some noble circles (LEO/mil) the thick brush mustache endures.
RogerinTPA
06-01-09, 10:26
Why is it whenever a Navy Seal/former seal is interviewed on a military channel show, there's a 99% chance they have that very gay looking mustache? :confused: ..... seriously... it's creepy.
Most likely a Navy thing. In the Army, I was told over and over and over again as a ROTC cadet and as a 2LT that "officers don't wear mustaches" by my bosses. Some wore em anyway. Later at Ft Bragg, an SF MSG, neighbor & friend, said they were shock absorbers for glock s&#kers! I haven't worn one since! :p
thopkins22
06-01-09, 11:01
Interesting the need some feel to call attention to the idea that they are "none of the above".
So which stereotype do you fit?:p
I am the type that drives up, signs in, sets up my assigned table, sets targets at cease fire, then begins shooting when the cease fire ends. Until the next cease fire, then I stop and check my targets.
I at some point also return my flags (we have red and green table flags at Fort Dix) and leave without any notable incident. :)
By the way, there is always at least one Jesse and Jamie duo up there. Always.
ThirdWatcher
06-01-09, 17:08
What about the guy who drives off into the desert to shoot by himself because he can't stand types 1-13? Because that would be me.
This describes me, except for the fact I usually go to the range when no one is there (small town). I own enough spare mags that I am able to load them before I go to the range.
The only exception to shooting alone is when I go shooting with my buddies (who are also LEOs.) My temper has gotten too short to put up with range nazis for very long (over .1 of a second).
QuietShootr
06-01-09, 17:43
Range fashion is HUGE!
You can go "Fashionably Unfashionable" like Rob_s.
Or you can go Tactical a la Madre! :cool:
I just throw on my old ass Tan BDU pants that the wifey has mended the pockets on twice, and my $20 clearance desert boots from LA police gear. Topped off with a t-shirt and a sweaty old hat. :)
You think range fashion is huge, you ought to see SHOT Show fashion.
i didnt see my type up there either.
im the dude that looks to be in great shape and is pretty good looking, can sometimes be found at the range teaching your daughter how to shoot, doesent speak unless spoken to. i bring two guns to the range, my 16in ar15 and beretta 92. my clothing varies, i can typically be found wearing jeans, boots and a humerous t-shirt of some sort from abercrombie and fitch or hollister, or possibly khaki cargo pants with an under armor tactical collared range shirt, with merel boots, moms typically love me because i have a southern draw and im really, really, really polite, naturally. i shoot pretty well, but when approached dont claim to know a lot or be anyone special. i bring a couple of spare mags with me and practice doing mag changes, rapid fire drills and the like to stay proficient with my weapons in case i need to use them, im pretty well prepared for when the shtf but im not overly paranoid about it and my life doesent evolve around it. i wish to one day join the military and hopefully be pretty highspeed, and am actually in the process of doing so, should actually be signed up soon, but i dont tout this like im someone special because, i know im not special, and because i look at other people that do that and think their douche bags, its just wrong. i despise the range nazi and range partollman. i also cant stand the mall ninjas and super tactical wanna be fat asses. they spend all this money on super gear but would shit their pants if a bullet ever came their way, and look like they would die just running to their car to grab an emergency doughnut.
i think that its good to be prepared, proficient, and ready to go if the need be but dont get carried away with it, i feel like i can take care of my self if the time came but i dont pretend to be a super navy seal delta operator, and dont play one at the range. i sometimes derive humor from listening to the uber tactical wannabees spout their shit, will accosionally egg them on about flying saucers and .gov conspiracies because im sort of a sarcastic smart ass.
Damn, that sums me up to a T as well. Very well put.
kaiservontexas
06-01-09, 23:35
I go to the range. I rarely ever talk to anybody unless my friends are with me. I get my bench, set targets, and shot. I am there for myself to enjoy my hobby and improve.
I have had some English guy popping rounds like candy talk smack about what I was shooting. I do not understand people like that, and the gun was a Ruger Mk III target model. I was at 25 yds and he was at 7 yds. I just mind my own business. I think the only conversation I have ever had with a stranger was about my Winchester model 70 pre-64 .30-06. He was admiring it as he collects rifles, which he had some nice WWII stuff with him.
You think range fashion is huge, you ought to see SHOT Show fashion.
I think I wore baggy sweatpants with cargo pockets to at least one day of SHOT the last time it was here. Easier to carry stuff.
In the interests of maintaining the humorous tone of this post, I think I'm an amalgamation of many types.
I occasionally wear my BDU pants when I know the range may be dirty/muddy, since I don't care of those pants get muddy. Chalk one up for paramilitary poseur.
The Homie. I drive a lowered Mustang. My parents are well off. That's about as far as a 'homie' I go.
Maybe the man in Tac Black. Shooting tight little groups gets boring, so it's fun to switch to pistol at longer distances.
Will usually have a Guest with me.
Fun times :).
Gutshot John
06-02-09, 08:27
I'm in a class by myself. :D
SHOT Show fashion.
I happened across our Fielding/Training Officer ( a Gunny) and one of the Project Officers (a Capt), who were in slacks & tie for SHOT. I was in UnderArmour shorts and my favorite T-shirt, which I've had for about 15 years. It's got a frayed collar, at least two 1/4" holes in it, and is of indeterminate color. Plus, a pair of $10 sandals I picked up at the Fallujah PX on my last trip overseas, sunglasses, and a ball cap in almost as bad a shape as the T-shirt (and JUST as comfortable).
My SysCom and Lockheed Martin badges werre prominently affixed to my backpack, which had more schwag in it than theirs. Gotta properly represent the company, yo.
They were chuckling over the disparity, but the muttered "F-ing contractors..." had a tinge of sincerity and feeling to it. Jealousy is an ugly thing.
HAMMERDROP
06-09-09, 17:29
I have been debating all week just how to respond, its seems to poke fun at people who are just doing what they enjoy sure most of it is creepy.
Sure-dick heads exist and I do hate conversations with strangers about the useless lethality of a .223 in 77grains anything, else and I'll chat.
It does tickle me when some guy gets out of his vehicle dons mollie gear loaded to the hilt opens back of his SUV which is stacked with rifle cases unloads a ton of ammo hogs an entire bench with his gear then pisses and moans loudly how cheap his guns are because he cant get his new 6920 to hit the paper. And usually mentions how he just got it back from the factory for fixing something else they screwed up.
But I also see quite a few guys who love to shoot and would love to own what we own or know what we know. But its like laughing at kid standing at the blackboard trying to spell a word that he just cant. Sorry K.L. - kinda uncool but your entitled we all started somewhere - LOL.
I put whatever color BDU (for the pockets only, jeans have four unless you count or are equipped with a watch pocket) smell the worst throw on a t-shirt which may or may not have entertainment or endorsments on it. The rest depends on Missouri weather. If its cold enuff I wear coveralls and alway boots usually Rocky brand.
Any body ever go shooting when it was 3 degrees - by choice ?
I carry my first line belt over my shoulder since it can carry most that I will need grab my rifle case an ammo can walk down range to claim a table. Then get the boards, prop them against what ever is left of the tax payer spent rubber backstop.
I do bring along scrap plywood or buy a sheet and have it cut in 3rds (the Conservation Departments rubber back stops are FUBAR) so I hang
Bin-Laden targets which I arrange with him peeking around the corner.
Sometimes I fire several hundred rounds sometimes if I am on target and satisfied I'll only shoot a couple of mags worth and kick back enjoy the morning air and watch others shoot or go shoot my pistol. So whatever that makes me is what I am.
But I do have a cooler place to shoot on occasion and on invitation its an abandoned house which belongs to a friends Aunt who made us sign hold harmlesss letters and she sez blow it up if you want to but we didn't although there are several well shot holes in the a few of the walls. But all the windows are still there last time I went.
It was condemend after the flood 1993 but still solid as a rock . Duffle bags of full of dirt are hung from the rafters in various rooms (glad I wasn't in on that gig )
in places around the house some are good guys some are bad guys targets are spray painted on them. Its dark inside so I have learned how to use my weapon light better and train pie-ing my corners better, at least thats what I do when its my turn to go. We dont stack up - hell half these yahoo's with guns worry me anyway, I dont want them behind me to kick a door in although all duffels bags are pointed into safe directions in various rooms. Its really a cool place to shoot.
I cant let the opprotunity pass when I am invited its sure beats a static line. We BBQ, all day thing most drink beer but its not like a kegger and believe it or not they respect applicable range rules and several guys who go are LEO. I dont drink and cant understand why people do and it bums me out when they do while handling a firearm but ... 'let he cast the first rock', I carry a BOO-BOO kit for me ...
Michael
I took this thread as a parody and just harmless fun. I'm fortunate to be a member of the awesome River Bend Gun Club and the membership is consitently terrific and I don't pass up an opportunity to talk to all the fellow members I come across. Which isn't all that many actually as my routine is being out there shooting on Sundays between 0800 and 1100 usually. But at the matches of course one encounters all kinds that make a world. But they're consistently fine citizens and responsible shooters.
John Frazer
06-09-09, 20:45
I guess this guy is a sort of offshoot of the range Nazi, but does anybody ever run into the old guy who is ALWAYS there, but never actually shoots? Same guy can be found at golf courses, although he never actually plays.
I think that guy worked out at my old gym. He'd be there when I arrived, still there when I left, and I think I saw him touch a barbell once. He did have a lot of opinions about sports and politics, which were the decisive factors in getting me to buy an iPod.
ljlinson1206
06-10-09, 00:42
[
Weird Mother****er-
A rare treat, he drives a '84 Yugo or some other any oxidized 20-year old shoe-box sized car with body damage, covered in Libertarian/pro 2A stickers. Somehow he packed his gigantic hard-shell rifle case and three gigantic range bags into a 5cf hatch already half full of empty coffe cups, mcdonalds bags, machining manuals and perhaps a dead body.. drags his shit to the end-bench at the longest range and sets up his $4,000 swaravski spotting scope and matching 200mm apeture riflescope. upon opening his rifle case, your jaw drops at the hideous abomination he draws from within- weighing in at 45lbs unloaded, he appears to have difficulty hoisting it up onto the table with arms the size of broomsticks, atrophied from years standing in front of a mill for 14 hours a day and subsisting on nothing more than two pots of strong black coffee and 3 packs of cigarettes a day. You cannot identify the rifle to save your life, which isn't a surprise once he proudly reveals to you that it took him 3 years to machine it himself, 6 months of that on the 96" long, 3" thick barrel alone, made from a bar of 416 steel originally valued at $950, which he stole from work. bipod flexing against the weight, the weapon, upon firing, displays no recoil, despite the .300 win mag reloads he's chrono'd at 5,000 FPS. After a few sets, he comes over and taps you on the shoulder, interrupting your fire, to slowly and effeminately brag about his .005 MOA group at 3,000m. Though highly knowledgeable and skilled with his weapon, his is utterly socially inept, and conversation with him is so painful you make up any excuse you can- even leave the range early- just to get the **** away from him. Never accompanied by anyone (except the chick in the trunk).[/QUOTE]
HEY......I know that guy!!!!!!!!!!!!! lol:eek:
Weird Mother****er-
A rare treat, he drives a '84 Yugo or some other any oxidized 20-year old shoe-box sized car with body damage, covered in Libertarian/pro 2A stickers. Somehow he packed his gigantic hard-shell rifle case and three gigantic range bags into a 5cf hatch already half full of empty coffe cups, mcdonalds bags, machining manuals and perhaps a dead body.. drags his shit to the end-bench at the longest range and sets up his $4,000 swaravski spotting scope and matching 200mm apeture riflescope. upon opening his rifle case, your jaw drops at the hideous abomination he draws from within- weighing in at 45lbs unloaded, he appears to have difficulty hoisting it up onto the table with arms the size of broomsticks, atrophied from years standing in front of a mill for 14 hours a day and subsisting on nothing more than two pots of strong black coffee and 3 packs of cigarettes a day. You cannot identify the rifle to save your life, which isn't a surprise once he proudly reveals to you that it took him 3 years to machine it himself, 6 months of that on the 96" long, 3" thick barrel alone, made from a bar of 416 steel originally valued at $950, which he stole from work. bipod flexing against the weight, the weapon, upon firing, displays no recoil, despite the .300 win mag reloads he's chrono'd at 5,000 FPS. After a few sets, he comes over and taps you on the shoulder, interrupting your fire, to slowly and effeminately brag about his .005 MOA group at 3,000m. Though highly knowledgeable and skilled with his weapon, his is utterly socially inept, and conversation with him is so painful you make up any excuse you can- even leave the range early- just to get the **** away from him. Never accompanied by anyone (except the chick in the trunk).
That's some funny shit right there....
sabashimon
03-20-10, 11:13
Very funny stuff, from OP to the end (so far).
Thanks for the chuckles, a great way to start my day :D
I can't believe you left out. . .
Self-Appointed Instructor Guy
Proficient User at Fudd Range
These both belong on the list. My nearby rifle range, which is an annoying Fudd range, has too many of the Self-appointed instructor guys. These are the guys who roam around, constantly "sharing nuggets of wisdom" with everyone else on the optics, reloading tips, you name it.
If you changed the second one to "Frustrated/proficient user at Fudd range", that would be me. I've had days where I've considered handing my hard-won membership badge to the resident range nazi, giving a short but eloquent departing speech that would make me feel GREAT FOREVER, and then never coming back.
What about the fudd. I quit going to public ranges, I don't like the homies that area danger to everybody or the game comission violating my rights by running the serial numbers for no reason other they feel like it. Joined a private one back in Sept, my first time there I was running through the shoot house with my AR, a guy came over to see what I had, he loved the camo job I did. He went back to his truck and came back out as giddy as a kid in toys r us and said check this out, his new saiga shotgun. I knew right then and there I joined the right range:D just a bunch of people that love to shoot. you name this range does it or has it. ipsc, cmp, trap, skeet, bird dog training, a shit load of classes, indoor, indoor archery. It even has an archery lane for you run through if you feel like John Rambo that day.
...the game comission violating my rights by running the serial numbers for no reason other they feel like it.
Huh? How does that work?
Have you seen the scout troop. Drives a SUV larger than needed for 5-8 people. Husband, wife, and 3-5 kids all taking up every lane in sight. Strangely they all seem to have the same haircut. More than likely the older two posed as 'bikers' the day before torturing the suspension of some poorly tuned Harley. Kids and wife shoot unbelievably slow at targets 10ft away with single shot 22's. while the patriarch rattles your teeth with a 500mag. He is also prone to measuring the kids groups every 5 shots. Gives you screwface at any chance at your choice of an ar15. Leave 10 sec. after a quick double shot.
Also the Sneak. You don't seem him before and is gone just as quick. Talks to you even though you have muffs and plugs in. Likes your AR and tells you about his that he does not have for some reason. Not to much of a pain, but leaves you with the who the hell was that feeling.
I am the inconspicuous jeans and casual shoes guy. I have gloves I got at autozone. Glasses that cost 8 bucks. One of my few guns that are nice like Noveske, Larue, or Glock. 90 to 120 rounds ready to go. A pack of stick on targets. I just came to shoot. I try for good groups, but it depends on the day. In and out. I drive off in my obnoxious but smartly tuned VW, WRX, or my Range Rover if it is running that week. I don't give a rats ass what people think, and will shoot at the girl if someone gives me that retard hostage poster, saving that poor man(she might have had it coming.)
Then there's the Brass Hound/Whore that snatches up empties almost before they hit the ground. Umm, I reload those dude.
I'm the quiet, middle-aged anonymous white guy (Range Ghost?). I set up, shoot, clean-up and leave while most folks are jaw-jacking or dinking around with their stuff (usually trying to figure out how to adjust their scope/sights). I bring a spotting scope so I don't need to clear the line every few minutes to see if I hit anything. I really miss being able to chronograph loads in my backyard as bringing a chrony to a public range is a major hassle.
i didnt see my type up there either.
can sometimes be found at the range teaching your daughter how to shoot,
or in my case since i wasnt up their :) the guy with the noise coming from the trunk which contains the guy above for talking and taking out my daughter
his slick southern twang and way to cool demeanor means he is up to know good so he is now in my trunk in zip cuffs :)
hehehehehehehhe
I am the 30 year-old that shows up still filthy from work(mechanic). First thing out of the truck is the range back containing:
White spray paint
PP
Stick on targets
stapler
Drills for the day or things I want to cover
.22 match ammo
5.56 practice ammo
CCW practice and "real" ammo
Next is the .22 precision trainer on the 200 yard line shooting steel set at UKD. Best after work meditation ever.
Then the carbine to get sped back up after "meditation"
Last is my CCW
I wont talk to you, unless you talk to me first. I am busy, this aint no social outing.
Thread resurrection? :cool:
I'm none of the above.
I have black and wood guns; am 22 years old. I bring one range bag that is of a smaller stature, holding my magazines, ear protection, ammo, targets, staple gun, etc. only, nothing excessive, just what I need and some spare tools. As GhostB14 stated, "I wont talk to you, unless you talk to me first. I am busy, this is no social outing."
I'm very careful, mannered (in gun safety and respect), like to wear black shirts, blue jeans, my boots, not cowboy boots, just boots, and black sunglasses. You'll never see me not treat my guns without the respect that they as a deadly weapon have. I have a M1A and everyone always seems to notice, though none of them seem to have ever fired one, claiming that its "too expensive to buy, don't think I'll ever own one." Yet when I see them unload $4,000 of gear, I cant help but silently laugh.
I prefer to go to the range in just after it opens, as there are generally fewer people there to interrupt me with having to go setup their own targets, and to prevent to my ability running into any of the morons who haven't a clue about gun safety, as well as to ensure no one tries to steal my brass (explained below).
I don't blast car music, just a regular 4-door with music at moderate level, windows up. I enjoy classical and orchestral, yes, I'm different, I don't listen to the "noise" that is rap, etc, that's not music to me, just noise...
I use all kinds of targets except animals as I'd rather shoot at a human silhouette and go for the headshots.
When I get bored I try to see how many .45 I can place at 25 yards and laugh when I get a few, seeing as the range I visit these days, there is only a 100, 50, and 25 yard slots, so 25 yards is as close as you'll get, unless you want to be suicidal and step in front of the firing line...
I collect my brass, spend only about 30-45 minutes at the range, and quietly leave. I do however, defend my brass with the stare when the old man who steals everyone's brass walks up and stares at it. I simply ask him, "What do you want?" as he stands literally 1 ft away smiling at me and staring at my brass I've collected off the ground.
That about sums me up, hope you enjoyed it.
those of you who say the range isnt a social club are just selling yourselves short. you should get involved, get active, get known, get to know the other guys, etc. you'll make friends, which it seems some of you could benefit from. :p
i had RSO duty today. was supposed to be AM, but naturally my relief never showed, so i pulled a full shift. i generally never go to the range on the weekend, as we're open to the public on the weekends, and i'm not much of a people-person... but when RSO duty comes up, there i be. i had about 15-25 or so people come through, throughout the day, and met three guys that i even exchanged e-information with, recommended this website to, instructed on some stuff, and received instruction. i stood around rapping with one guy who brought an FN-AR- i'd never seen one in person. i didn't ask to shoot it (i never ask), and he didn't offer it to me, but he happily answered my questions about it and showed me the operators manual and so forth.. sweet rifle.
i met a local deputy i'd never seen before.. he does corrections at the jail, which would explain it (i know just about every LEO in this very small community).. can't remember his name, but he was a real cool guy.. happily answered my questions, and i happily answered his.. invited him to join our local training group- seems like he could very well be a genuinely valuable person to know.
rapped with the RM for a few minutes, and got the ball rolling on this season's Practical Rifle- which i'll be heading. if we hadn't run into each other, it might have been another three/four weeks of phone tag and un-returned emails before we got a serious discussion in.
saw a few guys i havent seen in a while.. got to show off some new guns and gear, and see some new guns and gear. got to scream at a couple guys for severe safety violations- i was able to have a strong effect on these individuals' subconscious gun-safety habits... the one dude will never load his weapon while somebody's down-range EVER AGAIN, i guarantee it.
etc, etc. and i still managed to fire something like 1,400-1,600 rounds through 7 different weapons- socializing and being a friendly human-being didn't cost me anything.
don't treat your range trips, nor your membership, like a burden. the range should be a place to relax and be easy, not be all clamish and uptight about shit.
those of you who say the range isnt a social club are just selling yourselves short. you should get involved, get active, get known, get to know the other guys, etc. you'll make friends, which it seems some of you could benefit from. :p
i had RSO duty today. was supposed to be AM, but naturally my relief never showed, so i pulled a full shift. i generally never go to the range on the weekend, as we're open to the public on the weekends, and i'm not much of a people-person... but when RSO duty comes up, there i be. i had about 15-25 or so people come through, throughout the day, and met three guys that i even exchanged e-information with, recommended this website to, instructed on some stuff, and received instruction. i stood around rapping with one guy who brought an FN-AR- i'd never seen one in person. i didn't ask to shoot it (i never ask), and he didn't offer it to me, but he happily answered my questions about it and showed me the operators manual and so forth.. sweet rifle.
i met a local deputy i'd never seen before.. he does corrections at the jail, which would explain it (i know just about every LEO in this very small community).. can't remember his name, but he was a real cool guy.. happily answered my questions, and i happily answered his.. invited him to join our local training group- seems like he could very well be a genuinely valuable person to know.
rapped with the RM for a few minutes, and got the ball rolling on this season's Practical Rifle- which i'll be heading. if we hadn't run into each other, it might have been another three/four weeks of phone tag and un-returned emails before we got a serious discussion in.
saw a few guys i havent seen in a while.. got to show off some new guns and gear, and see some new guns and gear. got to scream at a couple guys for severe safety violations- i was able to have a strong effect on these individuals' subconscious gun-safety habits... the one dude will never load his weapon while somebody's down-range EVER AGAIN, i guarantee it.
etc, etc. and i still managed to fire something like 1,400-1,600 rounds through 7 different weapons- socializing and being a friendly human-being didn't cost me anything.
don't treat your range trips, nor your membership, like a burden. the range should be a place to relax and be easy, not be all clamish and uptight about shit.
Now here's a range I could get to like quite well.
bkb0000,
You do have a good point. My point was that I am there to to reach goals, not chew the fat. As a man with a family range time is precious. I have many times talked with others and made some friend, only after I am done with my "stuff". One of the best times I've had at the range was being there at the same time that a local PD was doing qauls with their mini-14 and 12ga. That was pretty neat for a normal guy like me to watch. We started chewing the fat when I noticed they had taken interest in the contents(AR15) of my Storm Hardcase. Another time when I was there with my AR an older gentleman was asking about the accuracy of the black rifle and let me shoot his .223 Encore. I will admit I get a kick out of spectators when my lil .22 is on the 200 yard line breaking clays on the berm.
I try to show up, shoot my guns, and keep my opinions to myself. I don't mind talking to knowledgeable people, or answering questions. I generally bring a family member or friend.
I've learned whatever good discourse you think you can have with gun store staff 80-90% of it is pointless, or about some insider info or their opinion on the current political climate, which ends up in you getting hooked into a 15-20 minute conversation about what they think about Product X, or training. The tinfoil gets strong or starts showing.
So I've learned not to be too outgoing, as I don't really care to hear it, I've gotten tangled into too many stories. I'm there to get my stuff, maybe handle a product or two. I don't mind talking to people, but I don't care to argue with them, and as long as they're safe, that's all that matters to me, if they want a pointer, I'll gladly give it, but that's about it.
I don't wear sandals, because hot brass on bare skin is a mistake I've only had to make once.
I can't think of any other stereo types, but that's pretty accurate.
People that go into the rifle lanes at indoor ranges and then give you a dirty look when you fire a rifle.
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.2.5 Copyright © 2024 vBulletin Solutions, Inc. All rights reserved.