View Full Version : Divorce Gun Help
crusader4x
08-11-09, 22:48
Well, my wife served me divorce papers today and part of the petition says the following:
Guns and Other Deadly Weapons: Petitioner/Respondent agrees not to possess, store, or use deadly weapons in the residence, place of visititation, or any other location in the children's presence of the following weapons including rifles, pistols, machine pistols, machine guns....etc. Or other deadly weapons. The only exception to this rule is the use of them in a professionally supervised gun range once the children reach the age of 10, and are accompanied by a parent.
I own a handgun but it is NOT with me here. I left it with my father in Texas when I was moved to California. Now that I live in Washington State, I intend on getting it back AND I intend on purchasing a Daniel Defense XV SOON.
I've never been violent nor charged with ANYTHING. Only thing on my record is a SINGLE speeding ticket over 20 years ago. I've never threatened NOR committed any physical violence to my wife or children. I don't drink, smoke, or do any kind of drugs.
Is this little provision going to give me problems? Anyone have similar divorce provisions? Was it difficult to work with?
FYI, I haven't spoken to my lawyer yet as I was acting in good faith believing my wife wanted to work on things. Instead she has manipulated a lot and NEVER had any intention on working on our marriage. She even had me served my divorce papers at what I was led to believe was going to be our first JOINT marriage therapy session.
crusader4x
08-11-09, 23:03
Lawyer on speed dial first thing in the morning. I'm wondering about other's experience with anything similar.
M4tographer
08-11-09, 23:07
x2 on the lawyer up. Sign nothing, say nothing. Unless there's some legal reason you can't possess, they can't make that stipulation in the paperwork. If you need a good family law guy in King County (not sure where you are), I can set you up.
crusader4x
08-11-09, 23:13
x2 on the lawyer up. Sign nothing, say nothing. Unless there's some legal reason you can't possess, they can't make that stipulation in the paperwork. If you need a good family law guy in King County (not sure where you are), I can set you up.
Thanks! I'm in Shoreline but my wife filed in Snohomish County. PM me who you recommend.
It almost sounds as if you got hit with some kind of restraining order...and if so that WILL screw with your ability to buy and own guns. It is almost like having a conviction for domestic violence and all without ever being convicted of anything or having the chance to defend yourself from the charges.
Agree with the lawyer up part, your wife just told you that you are late to the game.
I'm sorry to hear this is happening to you, hopefully the relationship you have with your child/children will not be tarnished by this unfortunate event.
Good luck
Ack! Guess I got off easy. My first wife just inflated the value of my guns so she could walk with a bigger chunk O' assets.
I didn't have much money at the time and bought what I could afford in lawyer. It cost me dearly. If I coulda done one thing different I'd have taken out a loan or something to have bought a better lawyer. Seriously. My ex-wife walked with 20% of the debt and 80% of the assets and it was her that was screwing around on me! Spend more than you can afford on a lawyer, it'll save you money in the long run.
'course leaving me was the kindest thing she ever did, wife #2 is so much better in every way I can think of. . . I am SO much happier. Hope your divorce story ends like mine & you heed the advice to lawyer up NOW so it doesn't start like mine.
crusader,
I lived in your neck of the woods and a similar thing happened to me, though I wasn't hit with the gun stuff. As I understand it, this is something that happens quite often post-Lautenberg Amendment and it happens more and more because of some misguided lawyers believe that the husband is going to be violent. Your wife may have even indicated as much which is what led to this.
As everyone has already pointed out you need to get counsel quickly and have this gun issue addressed ASAP.
It almost sounds as if you got hit with some kind of restraining order...and if so that WILL screw with your ability to buy and own guns. It is almost like having a conviction for domestic violence and all without ever being convicted of anything or having the chance to defend yourself from the charges.
Whoa ... back the truck up.
The OP said the language was in a divorce petition. That is absolutely not a restraining order and doesn't have anything to do with one's ability to buy and own guns in general. Without knowing the facts and players, it's quite possible that this is just boilerplate the wife's attorney puts in all divorce petitions.
As everyone has said, get a lawyer and go from there. If this is the worst thing that happens during your divorce experience, count yourself lucky.
i believe this is what lawyers like to call "leverage," and if you even entertain the absurdity it'll quickly become a "bargaining chip." don't give them any more chips than they already have.
in other words, don't agree- get a lawyer.
crusader4x, I'm sorry for you
Divorces can be some of the nastiest things with both parties often swinging wildly, often from urging of the lawters.
If the husband partner so much as had a half dozen Playboy mags, he gets accused of being addicted to porn.
If the husband read supernatural fiction, he gets accused of being involved in the occult, etc.
If the husband owns guns . . .
SWATcop556
08-12-09, 01:48
Whoa ... back the truck up.
The OP said the language was in a divorce petition. That is absolutely not a restraining order and doesn't have anything to do with one's ability to buy and own guns in general. Without knowing the facts and players, it's quite possible that this is just boilerplate the wife's attorney puts in all divorce petitions.
As everyone has said, get a lawyer and go from there. If this is the worst thing that happens during your divorce experience, count yourself lucky.
This is some very sound advice. There is nothing in a divorce petition that can prevent you from buy, owning, or shooting a firearm.
Get a damn good lawyer and get ready for all 10 rounds. Sorry to hear about this.
she served you papers I'd get a lawyer and fight every single thing she throws at you. I'd also fire back a number of equally constrictive demands.
example
she can't move
she can't bring home dates
she's not allowed to have alcohol in the house
she's to provide half the transportation during visitations
Littlelebowski
08-12-09, 14:39
Sounds like boilerplate.
There are definitely NO guns in your future! All your money is going to go to the BEST lawyer you can buy. Mine is an outrageous $320 an hour but he has saved my ass more than once. So far I am 3-0 with him over the last 11 years. Hopefully you don’t have any children with her. If you do then you will be dealing with her shit for a VERY long time.
With you living in a different state than me I really can’t comment about the "language" however try to find out if it is standard language to the typical divorce decree? That what really matters as that is what you will be signing in the end.
Hopefully you have hid all your other stuff with trusted friends and cleaned out the bank accounts as well as canceled all the joint charge cards. If you haven’t she probably went shopping and drained the savings.
Realize just one thing and that is this is going to SUCk big time and it has now become war and you have to have your game face on. While it hurts and I promise the pain will eventually go away you have no time to bleed as they say. She and her attorney will play to the fact you’re a nice guy and take full advantage of you. It’s hard to be a prick at times like this but realize this advice comes from many guys whom have stood where you are now.
One other thing you need to know going into this is the court doesn’t give a shit about what’s right and wrong. Divorce is a business!
Good luck
crusader,
I lived in your neck of the woods and a similar thing happened to me, though I wasn't hit with the gun stuff. As I understand it, this is something that happens quite often post-Lautenberg Amendment and it happens more and more because of some misguided lawyers believe that the husband is going to be violent. Your wife may have even indicated as much which is what led to this.
As everyone has already pointed out you need to get counsel quickly and have this gun issue addressed ASAP.
There's nothing misguided about it. It's a tactic used to put the husband off balance, and make things look better for the wife.
Hopefully, the stunt at the therapy session will backfire on her.
Whoa ... back the truck up.
The OP said the language was in a divorce petition. That is absolutely not a restraining order and doesn't have anything to do with one's ability to buy and own guns in general. Without knowing the facts and players, it's quite possible that this is just boilerplate the wife's attorney puts in all divorce petitions.
As everyone has said, get a lawyer and go from there. If this is the worst thing that happens during your divorce experience, count yourself lucky.
I'm just noting the language. I used to work in security clearance where certain words and phrases had very specific meanings and implications. I also have seen wives and lawyers do some ****ed up shit to guys who did nothing to deserve it.
I only hope it is lawyer BS.
Yes, sorry to hear of your troubles. You have been provided with some excellent advice. Because of my vocation, I know MANY guys that have gone through a divorce or 2-3. There are many fine women in the world, but also some very vindictive ones as well. The saying "Hell Hath no Furry Like a Woman Scorned" comes to mind.
I know a great family law attorney, unfortunately he is in California. There are lawyers who specialize in helping men insure their rights as a father are not lost and that their right to see and be involved in the lives of their children is not compromised. Contact you local Legal Clinic, they may be able to provide you with some references. Also, you could also try the internet as well. Google "Family Law, fathers rights", etc.
One thing I will say is to be extremely careful what statements you make to your spouse. Hire a good attorney and let them handle it.
Best of Luck,
SkiDevil
P.S. Definitely hire an attorney as soon as possible, but also find a qualified one as well. Hire someone who specializes in this area. Get the best one that you can afford it may save you some major headaches further down the road.
crusader4x
08-12-09, 19:01
Thank you for all of your input.
What my wife stated in the petition was in fact typical posturing to begin negotiations from the extremes with a desired outcome in the middle. We've had a really long talk and we're come to agreements on just about every potential contentious point. Now we just need our lawyers to look over counter offers and finalize our divorce with very little problems.
Truth be told, we both agreed to tell our lawyers to stand down on the posturing and maneuvering and that she and I are in agreement.
Thanks again for your input.
Just as everyone else has said, get a lawyer, and fast. Now as for the whole no gun or dangerous object thing:rolleyes:, this is a common thing that many, if not most, lawyers are sure to put in. It is one of those, throw several things out there at once and see what sticks, kind of ploys. Some lawyers will tell you that they are just covering all the bases, but it is just them being assholes most of the time. Not all of the time but it is what it is. Good luck
Truth be told, we both agreed to tell our lawyers to stand down on the posturing and maneuvering and that she and I are in agreement
It isn't time for your lawyer to stand down until the ink is dry on the judges "finalized" stamp. She also said "I do" to "for as long as we both shall live" right? What makes you think she is really telling her lawyer to stand down? To rephrase, keep your guard up man, the fight ain't over.
go here: http://www.dadsdivorce.com/
read "the list" check out the forums, (http://www.dadsdivorce.com/father_divorce_forum/?Itemid=80)
its moderated by divorce lawyers.
thats a top shelf, no BS website.
It isn't time for your lawyer to stand down until the ink is dry on the judges "finalized" stamp. She also said "I do" to "for as long as we both shall live" right? What makes you think she is really telling her lawyer to stand down? To rephrase, keep your guard up man, the fight ain't over.
I was thinking the same thing.
I can think of a better way that guns and divorce mix but then again,we don't want anyone doing anything rash around here.
On a more serious note,you've heard it 100 times before in this very post,lawyer up a.s.a.p.Before you go running out to do this,first,do a little research in your area and find out who is the BEST lawyer for your needs.A mediocre attorney is next to worthless and will only bleed your bank account.
I pray for good men like you. And I won't stop. Hope this helps.
dog
MSP "Sarge"
08-13-09, 14:54
Been there, done that just like the other members here. Take the lead on this thing. Take charge. Make her have to deal with you and your attorney. Look ahead. Is there anything that she really wants. Think ahead. Find the bargaining chip. Hold all the cards. Realize that you are gonna get screwed and just deal with it. Any out come better than that is victory! And one last thing DON"T GET CAUGHT WITH ANY BROADS! Dude that can ruin your chances of coming out of this thing with at least the shirt on your back.
HAMMERDROP
08-13-09, 15:16
she served you papers I'd get a lawyer and fight every single thing she throws at you. I'd also fire back a number of equally constrictive demands.
example
she can't move
she can't bring home dates
she's not allowed to have alcohol in the house
she's to provide half the transportation during visitations
Sorry this is happening to you ! Prayers also !
C Y A ... I've listened to too many friends over the years bitch about what they 'should' have done.
txdukklr brings up some good points ...you got to do for you and your kid.
Even with an amicable agreement, I know one thing for sure her lawyer will not think your a nice guy.
Michael
exiledtoIA
08-15-09, 00:21
Thank you for all of your input.
What my wife stated in the petition was in fact typical posturing to begin negotiations from the extremes with a desired outcome in the middle. We've had a really long talk and we're come to agreements on just about every potential contentious point. Now we just need our lawyers to look over counter offers and finalize our divorce with very little problems.
Truth be told, we both agreed to tell our lawyers to stand down on the posturing and maneuvering and that she and I are in agreement.
Thanks again for your input.
crusader, in your first post you said you realized that she had no intention of trying to work things out in therapy. Now you are willing to accept that the crap is going to stop? Think twice about this, " fool me once - shame on you, Fool me twice - shame on me"
kaiservontexas
08-15-09, 14:14
Good luck! I hope you get through this intact.
Cascades236
08-15-09, 23:12
Typical lawyer posteuring. Trying to intimidate you into a more middle ground resolution.
M4tographer
08-16-09, 12:26
Get a female lawyer!
My two guy lawyers made my ex and her young 'lady' attorney cry in the courtroom. The only way I'd get a female lawyer for family court was if she was a Jewish Grandmother (a Rabbi friend suggested that). ;)
A divorce decree can contain a no contact provision, and it would have the same effect as any other domestic restraining order. I believe one of the big 2A appellate court test cases arose from a situation in Texas, where a divorced doctor bought a pistol while subject to a restraining order in the divorce decree. He was convicted, and the court of appeals affirmed, the conviction for violating the federal law. Ironically, the court affirmed an individual right to bear arms in the same opinion.
Likewise, a court order approving an agreement pending final resolution that had some kind of no contact order might have the same effect.
The proposed language in this case appears to be an attempt to "protect" the kids from guns. Assuming abuse is not alleged, there would be no basis for such an order.
Get a female lawyer!
I would have to respectfully disagree. Gender does not equate to superior or more effective representation.
The fact that the attorney representing you and the interests of your children is of a particular gender or ethnic/ racial make-up has absolutely no bearing on the skill or capability of that particular individual.
The more important criteria are the qualifications of the individual attorney/s. Such as standing in the legal community, BAR status, length of practice, areas of specialization, negotiating/ arbitration skills, and capacity to argue cases (many attorneys actually have very little experience arguing cases in a courtroom, particularly trials/ vast majority of cases settle).
When you select your attorney; A suggested to do list.
1. Verify status as a memeber of the State BAR in good standing.
2. Verify general area of practice
3. Discuss/ settle on cost of representation/ retainer (before signing anything).
4. Request references
A really good way to find out which attorneys are one of the better lawyers is to talk to a court baliff or a court reporter or someone who knows a person working in the court house/s in your area. They see these lawyers practicing everyday and know who is capable and who is not.
Lastly, like everything else in life. YOU do GET what you PAY for.
Best of Luck to you and your family.
Regards
SkiDevil
CarlosDJackal
08-16-09, 21:06
WARNING: Legal advice provided via the Internet is probably going to be worth exactly what you paid for it.
My two guy lawyers made my ex and her young 'lady' attorney cry in the courtroom. The only way I'd get a female lawyer for family court was if she was a Jewish Grandmother (a Rabbi friend suggested that). ;)
A friend of mine had a female lawyer that was ruthless & he won custody of his children.
Good luck!
In my divorce my ex and I were able to come up with a fair settlement that we worked out between the two of us. My legal bill was about $500. Nothing wrong with doing it that way if you can. If she insists on playing hardball, you should too. Either way, sorry to hear about it. It's a tough time but you'll get through it.
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.2.5 Copyright © 2024 vBulletin Solutions, Inc. All rights reserved.