Question for LEOs...

[Mark21]

I'm pretty new at the whole dad thing, stepping into the role of a stepfather to two children a couple years ago.

The other day, while my 7-year old son was having a great time playing at the park, a couple of older kids (11, maybe 12?) started to harass him after he tried to play with them (name calling, a push, etc). I was about 30 meters away when I first noticed and started to yell for my son to come over while walking towards him.

I've had bad experiences with bullies growing up -- prob explains my psychological drive to pursue weightlifting and martial arts for the past twenty years! But seeing my own son getting picked on caused an unbelievable and almost scary visceral reaction in me -- I wanted to immediately run over to start raining down hell onto these kids. Luckily, I managed to calm down and yell for my son menacingly enough (helps I'm 6', 205) to have the group scramble while my son ran back over to me.

But I'm curious... what happens in such a case if another kid or group of kids actually start a physical attack on my kid? Is it self-defense in some way if I act, or is it assault since I'm an adult and they were attacking my son and not me? Obviously I have no want to hurt anyone if it can be avoided, esp kids! So what's the best way to handle it (outside of making sure my children aren't around such idiots in the first place)? How have other dads here dealt with anything similar? I appreciate all views and opinions.

[ZDL]

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[jgalt]

I am not a parent, but I am very close with a couple of nieces & nephews, and were they the ones in some kind of serious 'scuffle', I can only imagine how furious I would become, very quickly...

As to your question - I'm pretty much with ZDL. If it is "fist fight", I would have no hesitation with wading in and doing what it took to get the aggressors off of / away from my child / niece / nephew, any of their friends, etc. My goal would not be to hurt or injure any of the aggressors, but I wouldn't lose any sleep over it if they were. I'd stop short of taking a swing or kick at the aggressors, unless of course the group was large enough to be a threat to me as well (sticking with your example of 11-12 year olds...).

If there is a weapon involved, where I believe there is danger of great bodily harm or death, all bets are off. I see no distinction between an 11 year old trying to kill someone and an adult doing the same thing, and no reason to act differently.

Use of deadly force, no matter what the scenario, is always the last resort, but the age of the actors does not necessarily rule it out once the point of "last resort" is reached...

[Macx]

Agreeing with the posts above, I'd just be adding -

Get your kid into some of that martial art training, if you haven't already.


In some ways an even harder situation - I have a daughter not quite two and a half. There is a little girl probably 5yo who just fixates on my daughter (in a way that creeps me out a bit) and is always hugging on her and the like . . . but the setting is church. I really don't want to get into something where I am peeling another kid off my kid, especially since it is all "friendly" and because my daughter is so cute (she is, I am just surprised it is already plaguing her). I was very happy, proud even, of my daughter this last Sunday for avoiding the hug with a block I taught her and pushing the older kid away when the hug wasn't welcome. It is never too early to start teaching your kid to take care of themself, is what I am getting at.


In some ways, being on the intimidating side of the man scale is a real liability. It is a tough area for man sized men I think, when we need to defend our own, but not defend too much.

[Irish]

ZDL - a leo and a parent.

Funny, I'm a Scorpio ;)

[ZDL]

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[mr_smiles]

Sheep become wolves if given the chance, it's part of growing up. Of course you need to protect your child to a point but if he's not in any real danger than I don't see a reason to jump in. And a beating isn't real danger unless the kid doing the beating is some kind of monster.


Not saying what you did was wrong, but had you stepped in more than you did, than it would have been.