Zombie Blasters

[rat31465]

I have always looked with amusment upon those who claim to be building rifles and hoarding ammo as ZOMBIE Blasters....Perhaps we should all rethink our views on the Terminator Invasion Theory.

http://buzz.yahoo.com/buzzlog/93656?fp=1

Don't be alarmed. High above your heads, a zombie satellite is on the loose. OK, actually, it won't really be a bother to us earthlings. Or at least to most of us. (More on that later.) But the rogue communications satellite is wreaking havoc in Earth's orbit and does threaten to interfere with signals coming from other satellites. Here's the backstory...

The communications satellite named Galaxy 15 lost contact with ground control after a solar flare probably fried its brain. As a story from the Christian Science Monitor reports, attempts from Earth to contact the satellite have been unsuccessful. But instead of just dying and drifting off, the satellite has continued to orbit the Earth, even though it refuses to receive instructions from its owner, Intelsat.

For the science nerds out there: The satellite is still on, with its "C-band telecommunications payload still functioning even as it has left its assigned orbital slot of 133 degrees west longitude 36,000 kilometers over the equator." Translation: Not good.

What's confounding scientists is that even though the satellite is toast, it continues to operate at full power, but with nobody telling it what to do. Why on earth we should care: The "zombiesat" (as its known in space talk) could steal a working sat signal, and interrupt programming for its customers. Yes, that means our television programs. The horror. As the blog Boing Boing points out, Galaxy 15 was one of the satellites that carried the Syfy channel's signal. And now it's met an end good enough to be its own Syfy show.

The Galaxy 15 is on course to mess with an SES satellite that transmits to Luxembourg. If it's any consolation to the good people of Luxembourg, officials are calling the situation "unprecedented."

The undead satellite has caused searches for "galaxy 15 satellite" to rise an astronomical 10,300% in the last week. Searches were also out of this world for "nasa satellite imagery," "satellite photo," and "nasa satellites." It's also caused people to wonder "how many satellites are in space." Not enough to bump into each other. Yet.

[kry226]

I recommend this:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v214/kry226/ZombieSurvivalGuide.jpg

[LOKNLOD]

Awesome. I know Galaxy 15....
When I was in middle school, we got one of those old school big dishes. A lot of the good channels were on G15...
IIRC G15-2 was the Playboy channel (conveniently next to the Disney channel) and though we didn't get it, when you flipped past sometimes you'd catch an inverted negative-image nekkid chick. It was awesome for a middle school boy :rolleyes:

[Jay Cunningham]

My gut reaction is to lock this thread, because I have no idea where all of this "zombie" BS came from.

Instead... I'd like to ask for an explanation of what exactly this gunboard zombie phenom is all about. Because I neither understand it nor have a use for it.

So please... feel free to educate me and those like me.

[Hoss356]

My Marine friend Bill is convinced that "Zombie" is just a slang word for Democrats. Bill has always been slightly crazy, I once watched him ride a GSXR 1000, that our other buddy just wrecked, at 75+mph for 20 miles on the freeway with only one handle bar. His theory does give a whole new meaning the term "Zombie apocalypse" though.

[kry226]

I don't think it's come to be synonymous with democrats, per se, but it has come to represent "the enemy," who, it is perceived, will show up one day to take our guns, our freedoms, our way of life. It puts a face, albeit decayed, on a SHTF scenario.

In many circles, I think it has become a joke (the book above is a humor book), and is widely used as an excuse to buy more kit...for when the zombies come.

[Complication]

Having watched way too many zombie movies, I always thought it was referring to literal zombies (yes, I know, the original dawn of the dead was a commentary on American consumerism).

[kry226]

Having watched way too many zombie movies, I always thought it was referring to literal zombies (yes, I know, the original dawn of the dead was a commentary on American consumerism).

Of course, there's always the real thing, one might say. The above book is a great read...written from a serious perspective in words, but meant to be humorous.

[Complication]

Instead... I'd like to ask for an explanation of what exactly this gunboard zombie phenom is all about.

It seems to me that zombie films provide the most compelling "end of the world" scenario on the big screen. By compelling I mean that such scenarios exhibit at least a few characteristics: realism, emotional immanence, total chaos, survivability, and moral liberty.

Realism:
These scenarios are, at least at some emotional level, plausible because zombification is typically the result of some virus gone awry rather than a scenario which relies on the (relative) absurdity of aliens or something much more emotionally distant like an asteroid strike or mass volcano eruptions. Further, some dystopian future (a la Children of Men or some 1984-esque movie) is no immediate threat. It might happen, but there will be at least some lead-/warning-time. In many zombie films, the virus spreads across the world in a matter of days, before anyone figures out what's happening.

Emotional immanence:
Zombies touch us emotionally because they are (used to be) humans themselves and any one we encounter can potentially transform into one or be mid-transformation. Anyone in your party could be bitten and anyone in your party could be hiding a bite. By comparison, this fear of your own species, your own friends, family, and any other survivors you come across, is much more dramatic and immediate than fear of a giant rock from outer space, a huge earthquake, or aliens. Zombies are far more personal.

Total chaos:
Few other catastrophes would cause the same level of chaos--at least plausibly. On one end of the spectrum, you've got an asteroid. Well, that would entirely destroy the planet... not much chaos there. You've got war movies or terrorism movies where there is an enemy to fight against. Now you can rally your group (your nation, town, etc.) against a foe. With zombies, everyone is a potential foe, and, at least in the movies, anyone you're with could do something stupid and endanger the whole group. Plus the zombies always hugely outnumber you. Hiding from enemy soldiers invading your country is one thing. Hiding your group of 5 people from the hundreds of thousands of zombies in the town/city/whatever is more emotionally terrifying.

Survivability:
Every zombie movie has a few of the same characters. There's always the stupid people who get themselves eaten, the naive heros who go after the stupid people and get themselves eaten, and the poor sod in the wrong place at the wrong time--who also gets eaten. Meanwhile the hero of the story is just some average Joe who is just a little bit smarter and more clever than everyone else and survives. This psuedo-American ideal that you'll be the guy who'll overcome the odds and get out alive is compelling and appealing. Everyone likes to feel that they'd be alright--they'd make it out alive.

Moral liberty:
There's never a cure. And all zombies pose an immanent danger to you. And they've lost all humanity. So there's nothing wrong with their wholesale slaughter. In a war movie or some dystopian future, the guys you're killing may be "bad" but they're still people. That's why in kid movies you never see the bad guy die, he's just knocked unconscious. There's nothing bad with knocking a guy who is bad real hard on the head. You've given a blank moral check with zombies.

All of these factors combine to make a scenario which is the most convenient (dramatic) "worst case" that is shared culturally. Thinking "Katrina" or "gang fight on my porch" or "severe economic depression" might be more realistic, but something about "zombie apocalypse" is more appealing to a lot of folks because of these reasons and more.

While I'm sure there are some people out there who use "zombie" as a code word for "democrat" or some such crap, I think it's mostly used a shorthand for "SHTF" while injecting a little levity into the discussion. It's the same reason that in most shooter games it takes 1 bullet to kill the bad guys and 100 to kill you. No one likes a fair fight and it's much more "fun" when imagining a SHTF scenario where everyone you kill deserves it, there's no moral grey area, and they lack all brainpower and intelligence--zombies are just muscle and teeth.

[Jay Cunningham]

Thanks for the explanation. Still seems extremely stupid.

[crob1]

Awesome explanation Complication!

Since Zombies were brought up, I've always wanted to ask, what's the best Zombie round? You have to consider that only headshots kill Zombies.

Also, are you supposed to capitalize the "z" or not?

[Cameron]

Zombie was the code word for fighting back against tyranny.

Rather than say, "Oh I have all these guns in case the government oversteps it's bounds."

The canny gun owner would instead say, "Oh I have all these guns in case the zombies come."

I don't have any guns so neither applies to me personally.

Cameron