What dumb things did you do as an E3 or below?

[Belmont31R]

I know we all that served did something stupid, and embarassed the shit out of ourselves.




History on this: Joined in early 2003, went to basic in Jun, and was out out EIT in Nov 2003. Went to my unit, in Germany, in Dec 2003. Jan 2004, I, along with a bunch of other fresh out of EIT guys went down as replacements, and to supplement our BN which had been in Baghdad since around April/May 2003.


So we get down there, go through the general training we had to go through on BIAP before being released to our units, and this happened the 1st week I was with my BN. This dumb ass SPC is tasked to show me around, where Ill be sleeping, where the latrine are, showers, ect. He points the showers out, and says nothing about them other than these are our showers.

So I go to take a shower my 1st week there, and get in a stall. So far it was all males Ive seen in there. I get out of the stall, dry off, and was about to put my underwear on when someone says, "You know this is a co-ed shower right?" I look up at this guy, and am put a bit back. Right then a female walks in the shower room with a towel over her shoulder, hygeine bag, ect. Im standing there with my underwear around my ankles. No one had said it was a CO-ED shower, and the entire time Ive been in so far Ive never heard of a CO-ED shower.

I swear you've never seen anyone get dressed so fast and I flew back to room. I kept my mouth shut, and never heard a word about it again. I have to say it was odd to be in there again with chicks showering in the stall right next to me. Before that, and after that Id never heard of a CO-ED mil shower again. Sadly the shower was destroyed when the water heat blew up about 4 months later....



Not my personal story but I was in the AO when this happened. I was on our companies soft ball team, and most of us were ex ball players from HS. Even had a guy from PR who was on a semi-pro team. We did pretty good, and got to travel around Germany for tournaments and whatnot. Anyways we were down at some base, and had like 4-5 hours between games. This big ass goofy guy on our team decided it would be a good idea to drink during this time. Some Core level commander decided to go check out the games, and was in ACU's. This goofy guy gets drunk, and right around this time here comes the 2 star general. Goofy drunks gives the drunk version of a full attention salute, and has a cigarette in his right hand while saluting. Says something like howdya do siiiiirrr...., and has a shit eating grin on his face. This 2 star just says good luck, and keeps on walking....After he left our entire team was in hysterics rolling on the ground. This goofy guy was an E3 at the time, and saluted a 2 star while drunk, and a cig in his hand....Either this could have turned out very badly esp since our team captain was our 1SG or it went down like it did. The 2 star was "cool", and saw everyone was just having fun.

[HK45]

USMC Lance Corporal 1977

Mouthed off to my platoon Sergeant who smacked me in the mouth. Told me I could file charges if I wanted. I said no I deserved it. We shook hands and I learned a valuable lesson.

[SeriousStudent]

"What dumb things did you do as an E3 or below?"

You mean other than the enlistment itself? ;)

Hmmmmm......

Passing out drunk on a helo LZ at Camp Hansen, so that a flight of CH-46's had to repeatedly buzz the LZ to arouse me and some other alcoholics. It was a long walk back from Kinville, and we needed a nap..

Creating a rear door in a bar off Magsaysay Blvd in Olongapo.... there was not a back door when we came in, and we needed to make a speedy departure.

Pounding on the main hatch at the Joint Forces Brig on Okinawa and yelling "Little pigs, little pigs, let me in!" Um, they did. :( MP's have very little to no sense of humor, by the way.

Thinking I could take on a Royal Thai Marine at unarmed combat training during Cobra Gold one year. He just happened to be some sort of inter-galactic kick-boxing champ as a youth. My head hurt for about a week afterwards.

There is probably a lot more, but I'm not sure about statute of limitations, and being recalled to active duty. So we'll let those dogs sleep.

[Failure2Stop]

I've still got a few years until the statute of limitations runs out, around 2037 I'll share some really funny stories.

[Belmont31R]

I've still got a few years until the statute of limitations runs out, around 2037 I'll share some really funny stories.




What like a 1SG paying for everyones drinks in our Co. at a club that is on the USAREUR no-go list?

[ryanm]

When I was in Korea, I was out drinking in Songton with a few friends. We saw some other people we know from a shop we didn't like sitting at a table full of "shims". They were too drunk to realize they were actually kissing and being fondled by girl-dudes. We snapped a couple of pictures and left.

But hey, they really did look a lot like girls--if you weren't completely hammered you'd probably notice though.

I tried not to malfunction too much. My top 3 worst memories of other people's malfunctions

1. Someone shit in the hallway right before a room inspection and the First Shirt almost stepped in the pile. We had months worth of group punishment, extra duty, and general ass pain from that. If I knew who did it, I would have fed them to the wolves or scheduled a blanket party. I still have my suspicions...
2. Someone puked in a dryer and turned it on (we had to post CQ in front of the laundry room for a year after that)
3. Being locked at the position of attention to "feed mosquitoes" in a swamp

My most difficult ass chewings were due to having troops malfunction who worked for me. Initially I tried not to carry on the same tone that I received and in turn tried to actually help the people who were screwing up. Towards the end of my time in, I was slowly starting to just redirect the beating and add my own flavor.

I guess now I can be a "Bosshole" when needed. I just hope to not fully morph.

[Iraqgunz]

Climbing the fence of our installation in Germany because I was too drunk and lazy to use the main gate- then getting caught. :haha:

Or being a little buzzed and rapelling off the roof of the barracks where the mortar/ scout platooon was located. Damn MP's broke it up and said it was "dangerous".

[jklaughrey]

Re-arranging poolside deck furniture at a hotel in Okinawa at the bottom of the pool.

Shooting at Jap Nationals with a pellet gun.

Trying to swim back to the Belleau Wood anchored offshore from White's Beach drunk. We never made it! Thank God for liberty skiff keeping us from drowning.

[theblackknight]

In NBC school, after a rowdy hot gas chamber, we stuck our cammies straight in to the driers on 1st deck,which is where all the LatMove NCOs who where at from MP school. Pigs don't like hot sauce.



Here's the best one. We've all done this.

One time, I walked into this SSgt's office and signed a contract.:secret:

[theblackknight]

There is probably a lot more, but I'm not sure about statute of limitations, and being recalled to active duty. So we'll let those dogs sleep.

Just get a full sleeve of tattoos. They won't want to touch you:rolleyes:


BTW, if you want to read about true E3 epicness, go here http://terminallance.com/forum/index.php?board=1.0

[JSantoro]

Hell, the PFC/LCpl stuff is pretty mundane next to the abuses of latitude and attitude I committed as a Cpl and Sgt, as evidenced by the fact that I always got busted back TO LCpl, never busted back FROM it.

[Littlelebowski]

Nearly losing an LAV in a surf zone and then swimming another LAV from Red Beach north past the San Onofre nuclear power plant to the civilian state park, landing there, and taking I5 back to Las Flores.

For those of you in the know, I'm sure jaws will drop :D

[Dave_M]

hmm, well I didn't get married until I was a Corporal so I can't count that one (although it was one of the dumbest things I did while I was in the Corps').

When I was a brand-new PFC a friend and I got caught talking shit about my Corporal. He was right behind us in the dark for who knows how long. Never ever ever again. I'm cringing now and it was 10 years ago.

ETA: Also got lost during a field op. Ended up in a residential neighborhood in Virginia. haha, that one was funny.

[telecustom]

Have you guys checked out Skippy's List? It is along this line of discussion. Enjoy.

http://skippyslist.com/list/

[JSantoro]

swimming another LAV from Red Beach north past the San Onofre nuclear power plant

Whoa, how'd this brick end up on the ground between my legs?

[Littlelebowski]

Yeah and it was at dusk/night :D

We also went past the nude beach at Black Beach at full speed in the surf zone. Towers of water from our tires.

You know how the nuc power plant has those watch towers out in the surf zone? I remember seeing amazed faces in those towers as our little 14 ton boat went past with 2 giggling Lance Criminals in it :D

[Belmont31R]

Yeah and it was at dusk/night :D

We also went past the nude beach at Black Beach at full speed in the surf zone. Towers of water from our tires.

You know how the nuc power plant has those watch towers out in the surf zone? I remember seeing amazed faces in those towers as our little 14 ton boat went past with 2 giggling Lance Criminals in it :D




I used to swim at Del Mar and I think Blacks Beach was about a mile or so south of there? My buddy and I went there once, and this nekkid 300 lb'er offered us some fresh lemonade...lol Prob full of ruphies to rape us that night.


Also used to go to the jetty in La Jolla to see all the mammals right out there.


I grew up in Temecula, and got stationed in Germany right off the bat. My buddy joined the MC, and got stationed at MCAS Miramar. Lucky sonofabitch....

[Coperator]

My best friend and I had a habit of putting our "Captains" on all military vehicles and aircraft.

Two epic examples:

Female AF load master was giving a briefing to a group of young paratroopers about proper load procedure in a C130. As scouts we had no idea why we were there. Behind her back in the aircraft we were marking our territory. The guys were bug eyed but only snickered. She caught wind of something happening and shooed us out of the plane.

Training in Florida we were given a night of fun in St. Augustine. On a busy weekend night we climbed the statue of Ponce de Leon and defiled him. We made a silent egress (Ran our asses off, after hearing some nco/officer shouting at us) back to our guys. Thankfully we were never identified.

Looking back I am sure the Army would have sent us to therapy or the brig. More than likely both. In another 10 years or so I can tell the rest of the stories.

[JSantoro]

LL, if we were storytopping, that'd win.

I've got a comedy-of-errors in the swim category, but it was aboard Aberdeen Proving Ground and I had a full crew, but it doesn't have the pucker factor of taking one of the pigs into the damned surf......

I'll have to jot that one down later, anyhow. It was a learning experience, for sure.

[Caeser25]

Putting 3, 200 round drums of blanks through a saw in a short amount of time and then dropped it in the snow, blank firing attachment first :o our armorer wasn't happy with me after that.

I'll see what else I can dig up...

[HES]

How about this, what dumb things DIDN'T I do as an E-3? Lets see there is that GP Medium I stole for my CO, or screwing around on the net during a radio check and then blaming it on my buddy, and no one believing that he didn't do it. puking all over the barracks on night after drinking so much I had to have had alcohol poisoning. Or the entire 24 hours pass we got in Panama at the conclusion of JOTC.

[Iraqgunz]

I did that once too in Germany. Except is was a nice cold puddle of water. Yeah, that barrel got trashed.


Putting 3, 200 round drums of blanks through a saw in a short amount of time and then dropped it in the snow, blank firing attachment first :o our armorer wasn't happy with me after that.

I'll see what else I can dig up...

[Belmont31R]

How about this, what dumb things DIDN'T I do as an E-3? Lets see there is that GP Medium I stole for my CO, or screwing around on the net during a radio check and then blaming it on my buddy, and no one believing that he didn't do it. puking all over the barracks on night after drinking so much I had to have had alcohol poisoning. Or the entire 24 hours pass we got in Panama at the conclusion of JOTC.




Lots of drunk stories too. In between first arriving in Germany, and going to Iraq we had Christmas and New Years. Actually spent the entire Christmas 4 day weekend at a girls house in southern Germany who was an exchange student I had befriended while she was at my HS. On New Years a few us newbies went to a club, and drank over 20 shots. My room mate came back at around 5AM, and said I was sitting up in the chair next to the desk shaking. Another time my buddies made this juice grab that like half alcohol, and it was nasty. I had to come back early, my room mate is in be reading a book, and I laid down in bed. Not 10 seconds later I puked all over my pillow and mattres. I passed out, and woke up to a bed full of vomit. Im sure my room mate liked sleeping in the room that night. One other instance..after coming back from Iraq for the 2nd time we had this unit dinner out, and a bunch of us went to a few bars afterwards. I blanked out at some point but everyone said they took me some Irish pub down the way a little bit, we walked in, and they said they were closed. I retorted that was fine since I didn't want to drink in this rat hole anyways. From what people tell me they had to hustle me out of there as several guys in there wanted to beat my ass.


Oh almost forgot about this one. I had my Mustang shipped over, and the 1st day I had it there I totaled it on black ice around an 0 shaped on ramp. I pay 500 euros to have it towed back to post, and then like a week later we went to the field for a month. During this time President Bush came to visit our post, and it happened that the parking lot my wrecked car was sitting in was part of the area they were setting up for the presidents visit. MP's had everyones car towed in that parking lot. I get back at the end of our month field FX, and go to the MP station to see where my car was. They had no idea, had no record of it being towed, and none of the tow companies they used had it. To this day I have no idea where the car went. The thing was totaled anyways but it got interesting when it came time to PCS since the vehicle reg office was part of the PCS check list. They refused to sign it since I still had a car registered to me in their system, and the MP's had no idea where it went. Lets just say I had to get creative to get the veh reg office line signed off.... Oh the MP's also gave me a ticket for the accident even though the Polizei also gave me a ticket. Then my COC found out about it, and I got to try to explain why "no one" knew about it. I guess the E5 I called drank a bunch that night, and forgot about the accident never passing it along the COC.


Oh the record in our BN for someone getting an alcohol related incident was less than 24 hours from when we picked them up from the reception unit on post. How do you do that? That dudes 1st weekend was spent on extra duty.

[Army Chief]

Belmont, you and I were moving in many of the same circles during your time in Germany and Iraq, though I was a CW3/CW4 at the time, and probably the one flying those Division & Corps commanders out to see your Kasernes and FOBs. =]

Dumbest thing I can readily remember doing as an E3? Well, once upon a time (circa 1984 or so), we did the typical "sign for your weapon and then go to breakfast" thing, after which we were supposed to be headed to the firing range.

When we came out of the DFAC, they didn't have enough trucks laid on, so a buddy and I decided to just drive out there in his POV.

With my M-60 and his M-16A1/M203 laying across the back seat.

Pure genuis.

AC

[decodeddiesel]

Dumbest thing...hmm begs the question sober or drunk lol.

Sober:

Hydrolic servo blew while I was being a dumb ass and screwing around with the TC's turret control while conduct a "road march" (ah, the heavy days....). I then made the dumb ass mistake of slipping in a puddle of FRH while trying to climb down from the TC's position to the Gunner's position. I did this to try to turn off the turret power of the M1A1 I was riding in while it was moving at about 30 mph down a tank trail. I slipped, smashed my arm on a recoil guard and was rewarded with a really awesome fractured Ulna. :rolleyes:

Drunk:

...put it this way, the transition from the Heavy world to the Light world was not an easy one for me, as witnessed by my Air Assault School graduation. Although I was a Corporal at the time, it's been a solid 6 years and I still think if I showed my face at the Cat West Strip Club in Oak Grove the police would be notified hahahaha. I won't even get into that one.