Choices that have changed your life [Archive]

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C4IGrant

10-10-10, 20:53

Interesting topic about key decisions you have made that have impacted your life (for the better or worse).

Most of us can trace key decisions that, at the time, appeared to be small, but later turned out to be HUGE!

For me, the two main ones are joining the Navy and getting into the Cryptology program and starting G&R Tactical. The USN gave me a skil set that allowed me to make a lot of money as a Defense Contractor, which in turn allowed me to start a home based business.

How bout you?

C4

Ak44

10-10-10, 21:00

Joining the Marine Corps had a big impact on my life, after my contract I went to school and became an LEO. I can't imagine my life had I not went to the Corps.

Belmont31R

10-10-10, 21:02

Getting married. Prior to that Id never really dated seriously, and she was my 1st long term relationship. Im still happy as can be but Im still getting used to having to answer for personal issues.

2nd would the Army. I was cut out for it since I was a little kid so it was natural for me to join so it didn't change my life as much as marriage did but still so far a big pivot point in my life.

Don't know where to place this, and don't feel right "ranking" it but my mom died last year unexpectedly, and theres a huge void in my life now. Kinda like I still expect her to call or email me like she always used to do. Just simple things like going out to eat dinner with us, ect. Since my dad was gone so much growing up I had a more impactful relationship with my mom, and try to carry who she was on with me.

orionz06

10-10-10, 21:03

Taking 3 jobs while getting my engineering degree was worth it, despite the student loans I have now.

C4IGrant

10-10-10, 21:07

Gutshot John

10-10-10, 21:12

At the risk of sounding like a corn ball, I'd have to say the best choice I've ever made was in the woman I married.

Finishing school as I promised my mom I would.

The Navy was up there.

SteyrAUG

10-10-10, 21:19

At the risk of sounding like a corn ball, I'd have to say the best choice I've ever made was in the woman I married.

Same here.

Wish I had made some different choices, but at least I got that one right.

Palmguy

10-10-10, 21:28

Navy and marriage...no question.

Also (and most importantly) would be the decision to be a Christian. I can say with 100% certainty that my life would be significantly different today if not for that decision.

pilotguyo540

10-10-10, 21:37

For me the single best and worse thing I ever did was marry the most selfish woman I ever met. I almost didn't survive, but I did have 3 beautiful daughters.

Another life altering decision was letting this same woman talk me out of going to WOFT in Ft. Ruckers.

There may not be a great woman behind every great man, but I am willing to bet there is a miserable woman behind every failure of a man! :D

ST911

10-10-10, 21:38

I think the recurring theme we'll see in this thread from this crowd is that we were most changed anytime we signed on to be a part of something much larger than ourselves. Whether that's the military, public safety, other profession.

I was most changed when I became a husband and a father. Those things then trickled down into what kind of son, brother, friend, and neighbor I was to others. From there, into the work I did...and how I did it.

HES

10-10-10, 21:41

C4IGrant

10-10-10, 21:53

The best decision was marrying my wife.
Next up would be ditching the bat shit crazy I was engaged too. After that it was enlisting in the army. Then turning down the opportunity to go to Monmouth. Had I not done that, yeah I'd probably be an O-6, but then I wouldnt have found my wife. Wash, Rinse, Repeat.

Kind of same for me. Got rid of a bad ex and then met my wife. Thank GOD for that one!

We as men need to do a better job of realizing why a woman is with us. For most of us, we need to look in the mirror and realize that we aren't all that good looking. So our girlfriend isn't with us because we are "hot." Do you have a lot of money and they are poor? Are they an emotional wreck and your are the father figure they desperately desire?
Ever wonder why you constantly attract the "crazies?" Ever think it could be you?;)

C4

jaxman7

10-10-10, 22:08

Grant,

Excellent post and I completely agree. I am 36 and have never been married. Thank God considering who I have dated in the past. Being older than most guys who are/have dated I know exactly what I want in a wife. Last year I met the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with. October 27th is her birthday and on that day I will ask her if I can be her husband. Wish me luck.
She will change and has changed my life for the better. Also signing up for the Army had a huge effect on my life and how I view it.

-Jax

Kind of same for me. Got rid of a bad ex and then met my wife. Thank GOD for that one!

We as men need to do a better job of realizing why a woman is with us. For most of us, we need to look in the mirror and realize that we aren't all that good looking. So our girlfriend isn't with us because we are "hot." Do you have a lot of money and they are poor? Are they an emotional wreck and your are the father figure they desperately desire?
Ever wonder why you constantly attract the "crazies?" Ever think it could be you?;)

C4

ucrt

10-10-10, 22:34

Congrats Jax, Guess you won't be at the Woolmarket matches for a while... :)

My most life changing decisions:
#1 - Becoming a Christian
#2 - Marrying my wife
#3 - Determining to not screw up decisions #1 & #2 - That was the hardest one.

.

Cagemonkey

10-10-10, 22:38

My biggest impact on my life has been my Wife. I've been through a few relationships. All of which weren't right. Sometimes it was me, other times it was them. Even had the stereotypical "psycho ex". My Wife was "The One" that made me a better person and look forward to life's adventure. Second was joining the Marine Corps. This will soon become third after the birth of our child this Dec. I hope that all goes well with no complications.

Belmont31R

10-10-10, 22:38

Grant,

Excellent post and I completely agree. I am 36 and have never been married. Thank God considering who I have dated in the past. Being older than most guys who are/have dated I know exactly what I want in a wife. Last year I met the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with. October 27th is her birthday and on that day I will ask her if I can be her husband. Wish me luck.
She will change and has changed my life for the better. Also signing up for the Army had a huge effect on my life and how I view it.

-Jax

Heh Im no marriage expert but my 2 criteria were:

1. Do I feel something's missing when she's not around...

&

2. Is she a good woman?

If yes to both then the rest will fall in place. I specifally told my wife before we even started dating I was into guns, and if she had an issue with that we shouldnt even go on a 1st date. She responded back she took a hunters ed course, and would be interested in shooting. That goes to "does she respect who you are?" type questions.

You can work details out but not fundamental differences. I couldnt be married to a libtard hippy who hates guns, wants "world peace, ect. The things my wife and I disagree on are generally stupid shit we should even argue about to begin with.

theblackknight

10-10-10, 22:39

Enlisting.

Never could I have imagined what the Military is really like. If only civilians could know the REAL military when there's no brass motivated dog and pony show. I tell people all the time,if youd like to leach off the government, just make it thru bootcamp and "school" and then you can literally do nothing but suck coffee and surf google all day.

SeriousStudent

10-10-10, 22:40

Agree with just about all of these. I do think that having children does have the most direct and long-term impact.

Nothing like a pack of yard-apes to change your life.

My youngest just had her 18th birthday this week. I am completely baffled as to where the time went.

jaxman7

10-10-10, 22:44

UCRT,

Thanks bud! I'll be @ the 3 gun @ woolmarket for sure. That's another thing wonderful about her. She is a gun nut too! We have been to 2 handgun classes together as well as pistol and 3 gun matches. Now I have just got to decide on how I am going to ask her. I know the when but not the how. Its gotta be romantic. You know how girls are!

-Jax

Congrats Jax, Guess you won't be at the Woolmarket matches for a while... :)

My most life changing decisions:
#1 - Becoming a Christian
#2 - Marrying my wife
#3 - Determining to not screw up decisions #1 & #2 - That was the hardest one.

.

jaxman7

10-10-10, 22:52

Belmont,

Both good questions and 100% gtg on both answers. Absolutely something is off when I don't see or talk to her for a couple of hours and she is the best woman I have ever come upon in my short 36 years. Oh and she has a glock 19 in a raven holster! Plus she has already mentioned to me her wedding present she has for me will be an M&P 9 compact. Just thought I'd mention that! :p

Bolt_Overide

10-10-10, 23:00

Deciding to go to airborne school, despite a raging case of Acrophobia.

This has led me to never allow anything to hold me back from something I wish to do. Call it a platatude, or cliche, or whatever the hell you like, but you truly can do whatever you set your mind to.

120mm

10-10-10, 23:02

I have two life changing decisions, both of which apparently went against everything I stood for at the time I made them.

I was even more of an a-social asshole than I am now, when an acquaintance introduced me to my wife and best friend. 25+ years later we are married and happily, madly in love. I was convinced I would remain a bachelor forever and would never have kids (of which she talked me into two).

Then, after 20 years of my lovely bride encouraging me to make at least one friend, an associate introduced me to a supermodel-looking young lady half my age and we became fast friends. I spent the first year looking over my shoulder and wondering what people must think, but now it's just a fact of my life: I am a middle-aged faithful husband whose best buddy just happens to be an astonishingly attractive female.

Her friendship has become an incredible changing point for me. She has taught me how to make friends with people, instead of being a chronic introvert.

I'm still an abrasive SOB, but I have learned how to interact socially to a certain extent.

cop1211

10-10-10, 23:34

Joining the Marine Corps had a big impact on my life, after my contract I went to school and became an LEO. I can't imagine my life had I not went to the Corps.

Exactly the same as this. Plus 4 kids, SWAT, and K9:D

Dunderway

10-10-10, 23:57

Major choice: Joining the Coast Guard. I can't imagine were I'd be without doing that.

Minor choices that turned into major things:

I rode home from high school every day with the same girl. The only day I decided to get another ride, and her miata was T-boned by a dump truck. She had minor injuries but the passenger side of the car was gone. I would not have made it.

Same year, I was going to take off with two friends in an F-100 with a front bench and no center seatbelt (I was youngest so would have rode bitch). Decided to get the lawn mowed before the weekend instead. 50mph head-on collission. They lived, but I would not have made it.

The Lord was really working overtime with me that year.

TehLlama

10-11-10, 01:00

Joining a Scottish Bagpipe Band ( hdpd.org ). This precipitated the two of the most common above for me:

Met my wife at a science fair, but my first chance to talk and get to know her was a band performance, and knowing even at that early age that this would be special. This only happened through the pipeband.

Second, this led to me playing at numerous Marine Corps Ball evenings, where I got to know all the reserve Marines, and why I ended up choosing the Corps over the air force.

FromMyColdDeadHand

10-11-10, 02:38

I'm almost 40 now and I look back at decisions I made back in my late teens and 20s that make no logical sense but worked out anyway. I'm not talking about huge stuff just the run of the mill life decisions. I'm far enough from them that the exact facts and reasoning are a bit hazy. I look at the decisions and realize how badly things could have gone, but they worked out and I'm where I am now. What I take from that is that I'll have to be careful when my kids get that age and I have to realize that you have to take risks when you are young. I've forgotten more than I knew back then, but I was way more cocky and sure back then.

Funny, I don't think of them so much as choices, but rather reactions to when something difficult happened.

bkb0000

10-11-10, 02:59

september 24th, 1999... in my car, driving up germantown road over the tualatin range at about 6pm.

gave my life to Jesus

mr_smiles

10-11-10, 06:20

Deleted - Forgot my rule about not posting to much info about myself online :)

kry226

10-11-10, 07:18

1. Jesus.

2. Enlisting in the Army first, then getting my commission six years later. When you say, "Follow me," it's much better to have been in the followers' boots before.

3. Marrying my first wife, who made a man out of me. She died from leukemia a year and a half later.

4. Marrying my second wife. She made me a daddy, and better at concentrating on number 1 above.

ForTehNguyen

10-11-10, 07:21

montanadave

10-11-10, 08:16

What? This many replies and not a single recovering alcoholic/addict in the bunch?

:secret:

variablebinary

10-11-10, 08:32

Wife

Kids

School

Army

militarymoron

10-11-10, 09:03

changing my major from Comp Sci to Electrical Engineering. Much more stable field, lotta CS people just dont have jobs, making more money, enjoying the work a lot more, even though the degree was much harder.

1st life-changing decision: LOL - i changed from Comp Sci to aerospace engineering because i almost flunked out of CS. back in the 80's, i had didn't have a good idea of what the majors actually meant (this was before the internet), and my parents said that CS was a 'good career' to get into. i just didn't do well at programming and wasted about a year and a half in absolute misery. did much better in AE.

if someone had looked at what i enjoyed doing (building model planes, taking things apart and fixing them, designing stuff), they would probably have matched my interests up with engineering.

2nd decision - staying in the defense industry instead of going into the Navy upon graduation. i was considering the Navy's NUPOC (nuclear power officer candidate) program and started the application/screening process. but the only slots available at that time were for submarines instead of surface warfare (i really wanted carriers), and after going down in a sub during the tour, i decided against it, and stayed in industry instead. it definitely gave me a lot of respect for bubbleheads.

3rd decision - getting married.

4th decision - having our son.

jmp45

10-11-10, 09:08

Jesus here too. After years of good people sent across my path I had a midnight visitation, deliverance and salvation during a serious season of depression. Set free from a severe alcohol and tobacco addiction in an instant 27 years ago. I wouldn't be here now had that not happened, I'm sure of it.

Montanadave, there was no recovery in my case. It was a life changing incident. I'll not get into details here, but I can say it was quite unusual as things like this happens. I did take my cigs to work for a day or two just in case, but as it turned out, there was no desire light or pour. I threw them away. Seriously, there's no way I'd have the will power to fight these things on my own. I guess the powers that be recognized that.

My Wife of 31 years...

My son of 30 years and daughter in-law.

C4IGrant

10-11-10, 09:46

Good thread and interesting that many of us view the same things as "life changing decisions."

Let's take a detour. Ever made a decision that was so painful and at the time appeared to be the 100% wrong one, but later turned out to be one of the best ones you have ever made?

I will start with a hard one. As many of you know, I was one of the LARGEST ARFCOM dealers on that forum. I had the most positive feedback of any dealer on their as well. To say that I was popular would be an understatement . Without getting into the boring details, I had a falling out with the owner over something that happened two years prior between myself and a Sr. Staff/Dealer. I was removed from the forum. After a short amount of time, I was offered a chance to come back if I basically apologized for something I never did (which was defraud the members). I refused.

At this time, I had just quit my really good job with the USAF, had a newborn and was moving to Ohio from VA. Since my home in VA had not sold yet, I had two mortgages to pay.

My business dropped by close to half of its normal levels. Wanna talk about stress? :sarcastic:
Luckily for me, GOD had closed a window and opened a door. That door was M4C.

Now, 4yrs later, leaving that forum was one of the smartest things I have ever done.

C4

jklaughrey

10-11-10, 09:51

Pretty much all the above, military, school, God, etc...

But my best life changer was moving from Los Angeles to the Pac N.W.
Allowed me to meet wife and have a family, no way in hell was I raising a family down there.

orionz06

10-11-10, 09:54

I turned down an engineering position at http://www.l-3com.com/ because they were unable to tell me exactly what they wanted me to do. My google-fu failed me at the time to have any idea of what they actually produced. My contact their read my resume and told me based on other details listed he felt I would love the job. Those other activities were "participation in shooting sports".

Took me a year and a half to realize they made EOTechs...

C4IGrant

10-11-10, 09:56

Dirk Williams

10-11-10, 10:00

Good thread.----------------------------------------------------

1. Substance free life. "Nothing mind altering".

2. Quit listening to experts in any field. "My life is pain free".

3. God and Country. " Nuff said"

4. Family first. " My entire world revolves around my family"

D Williams

orionz06

10-11-10, 10:00

Macx

10-11-10, 10:23

time order not impact order:

1. Quitting Smoking- 16 Sept 1996

2. Quit chasing the kind of woman I married 1st, waking up and realizing that marrying princesses always ends up badly for guys who don't anticipate a throne (that isn't porcelain).

3. Found an anti-princess to marry. I am so much happier with a woman who belches and farts & isn't sexually repressed or who thinks she should be kept in at least a semi-diva lifestyle. A kind woman who is a good mother, beats princess every day of the week!

4. The biggest negative - My anti-princess had a friend on SSDI for mental illness. When we had our daughter, the friend got jealous and called the state Child Welfare Dept, with some pretty outrageous stuff. What followed was the horror show of what can happen when a state worker with a chip on his shoulder decides to show a citizen who's the boss. It was expensive, painful and took way, way too long to get the case dropped.

120mm

10-11-10, 10:47

Now that's funny!

I used to work for l-3com. ;)

C4

Me too!

Basically, the worst thing that happened to me, is that my live-in girlfriend just up and moved out one day, without explanation. Feeling somewhat adrift, I signed up at the last minute to study Russian in the Soviet Union. (this was 1985)

While I was there, an associate of mine met a woman who was from the same University that we attended. He introduced us, and I married her 3 years later.

So, my worst is also my best.

kry226

10-11-10, 10:55

Let's take a detour. Ever made a decision that was so painful and at the time appeared to be the 100% wrong one, but later turned out to be one of the best ones you have ever made?

C4

Interestingly, the most painful decision I've made ended up being one of the best I listed earlier.

I went to college for a semester after high school, pulled a 2.2 GPA :sarcastic: and ran out of money. Went home to weld during the following spring and summer. At a youth Bible study, I met a youth pastor from another church who had been blessed with finances through his family and decided that I need to go back to school and he was going to pay for it. I went back for two more semesters, but during that time I answered God's call to join the Army. Walked away from a full ride at college to enlist.

Doesn't pass the Common Sense Test, but it was the right thing for me to do at the time, and I have been blessed much beyond what I deserve ever since.

chadbag

10-11-10, 10:59

Their persistence was impressive. I had already accepted an offer and the guy wanted me to go in and see what they did. His words were "I think you will find what we do and would want you to do to be very interesting, just come in, it doesnt cost you anything"

At that point in time, I had one of the best offers among my graduating class and no reason to take anything lower. The kicker for me was the guy wanted me to consider other offers after accepting from someone else.

The more I think about it the happier I am, but there is always that question of what could I have been involved in.

L3 just picked up EO Tech a few years ago (prior EO Tech was independent). L3 does a ton of stuff some of which is shooting sport related. Walk around the SHOT Show and see the various companies that have an L3 sign on their booth and it is amazing. L3 has bought up a lot of small companies.

They seem to mainly do high end gov/mil comms. My uncle works for them designing comms stuff for satellites and mil and stuff and he can never talk about it. He said he once had to bring a prototype board to California for a meeting or demo or something and that he was not allowed to have the TSA people at the airport look at or inspect the board. He had some sort of letter to show the TSA people from some gov org and was rather worried about flying with this piece of equipment but said it ended up being rather anti-climatic.

C4IGrant

10-11-10, 11:17

L3 just picked up EO Tech a few years ago (prior EO Tech was independent). L3 does a ton of stuff some of which is shooting sport related. Walk around the SHOT Show and see the various companies that have an L3 sign on their booth and it is amazing. L3 has bought up a lot of small companies.

They seem to mainly do high end gov/mil comms. My uncle works for them designing comms stuff for satellites and mil and stuff and he can never talk about it. He said he once had to bring a prototype board to California for a meeting or demo or something and that he was not allowed to have the TSA people at the airport look at or inspect the board. He had some sort of letter to show the TSA people from some gov org and was rather worried about flying with this piece of equipment but said it ended up being rather anti-climatic.

True. They are buying up a lot of small companies that have contracts with the DoD.

I worked Command and Control (C2) for them.

C4

chadbag

10-11-10, 11:25

To the original question:

I have made choices that have had profound impacts on my life.

Quitting school to go to work for DEC in 1988 was a good move (I continued school through Boston U night school paid for by DEC and then graduated after a leave of absence and one last year of full time school). It got me lots of experience and a foot in the door and it paid for my schooling.

Going back east (97) to work for a Y2K startup, that only lasted a year, lead to the situation where I met my wife. It also lead to some financial issues that still plague me. So it lead to both good and bad.

My dad made a decision which had a humongously big influence on me. He took a job with DEC in 1976 and moved our family, when I was 10, to Massachusetts from Arizona. That opened up so many opportunities for me that I don't think I would otherwise have had, as well as gave me a totally different perspective on things. I grew up in a small town on 3 acres with woods and a big garden. Compared to growing up in the burbs in a smallish house on a normal sized plot. It also lead to me working for DEC and meeting people that lead to my 97 move to NH to work for the Y2K startup (started by hardcore liberty and firearms people), which I learned about from a friend from HS with whom I had worked at DEC... Funny how one thing leads to another.

Safetyhit

10-11-10, 11:31

Let's take a detour. Ever made a decision that was so painful and at the time appeared to be the 100% wrong one, but later turned out to be one of the best ones you have ever made?

Finally deciding I had enough of my son's ultra-deviant, unfaithful mother and beginning legal proceedings to have her (and her other son, who I loved dearly) removed from our home.

By deciding to do so I did something that made my soul cringe with agony, as until that time I was steadfastly determined to give my son a life with his mother and father together. Something neither she or I ever had.

However after 4 years, the first 2 so horrible I truly can't think about them, I have a great life with my son in our original home that we now share with these two little guys...

http://i16.photobucket.com/albums/b32/Safetyhit/MyLife.jpg

No one to cook and clean anymore (except for me), but life is very good and right now I wouldn't change a thing.

GermanSynergy

10-11-10, 12:51

Things that have changed my life...

Enlisting in the Army

Seeing the world

Graduating from college

Going back to college to pursue another degree

Relationship wise, I was engaged a few years ago, and she abruptly broke it off on my 30th birthday, while I was deployed.

In retrospect, I'm glad that we're not together anymore, because it appears that we just stayed together for the sake of staying together. We had little in common.

It took me a while to find someone special (a Coast Guard member at that :D ) , I'm trying not to mess this relationship up. ;)

PrivateCitizen

10-11-10, 13:06

Wife.

Children.

Starting my own business.

Honu

10-11-10, 14:31

13F3OL7

10-11-10, 15:38

Jesus. Though I fail miserably at that decision most times.

Asking my wife to marry me.

Enlisting in the Army years ago.

3CTactical

10-11-10, 15:54

Maybe we should start an L3 thread - I'm in Cali at one of my clients sites which was bought by L3 a few years back. They make infrared FLIR type cameras.

HES

10-11-10, 22:35

Kind of same for me. Got rid of a bad ex and then met my wife. Thank GOD for that one!

We as men need to do a better job of realizing why a woman is with us. For most of us, we need to look in the mirror and realize that we aren't all that good looking. So our girlfriend isn't with us because we are "hot." Do you have a lot of money and they are poor? Are they an emotional wreck and your are the father figure they desperately desire?
Ever wonder why you constantly attract the "crazies?" Ever think it could be you?;)

C4
Yeah no doubt at all. Now that I am a wise old fart of 40 I look at the (I can't believe I am about to say this) kids in their early 20s and I ask "was I ever that stupid?" Of course I was. So many guys wind up in that father figure role and because of it they are afraid / guilty over bailing from a crashing plane. Thankfully you and I had a moment of clarity and realized that we needed to eject.

Let's take a detour. Ever made a decision that was so painful and at the time appeared to be the 100% wrong one, but later turned out to be one of the best ones you have ever made?
I have made a lot of painful decisions but to be honest I never felt in my gut they were wrong decisions. Now there were decisions I was scared of making, like starting my own business, but I kept faith that it would be the right one to make.

My most painful, but right, decision has to do with my step daughter. I have had to exile her from my life due to her behavior. It kills me, there isnt a moment that goes by that my heart doesn't ache. I raised her from when she was not even a toddler. But she is ill and won't get help. She was tearing our family apart. I long for the day when I can hold her in my arms again but being honest with my self and with her condition, that will probably never happen. My wife and I and our other children miss her dearly. I will most likely not be invited to her wedding or see my grand children when they are born. There is a hole in my heart that leads to a bottomless shaft. But this was the decision that had to be made for the sake of the family. We miss her dearly but we realize that things are much better right now.

Dunderway

10-11-10, 22:38

1982 turn down the job with Microsoft :) hehehe I was the 2nd best hacker at our college they came recruiting :) I said no !

but dont regret it my life is great and would not change it

not dumping money in Apple before the Iphone came out :)

best getting married having kids

I really try to look at the best in things and not second guess them and move on down the path with positive attitude

Meh, things like that are better not to even think about. I don't think there's an intelligent person on earth that couldn't be a multi millionaire if they could go back in time ten years.

pilotguyo540

10-11-10, 23:39

Finally deciding I had enough of my son's ultra-deviant, unfaithful mother and beginning legal proceedings to have her (and her other son, who I loved dearly) removed from our home.

By deciding to do so I did something that made my soul cringe with agony, as until that time I was steadfastly determined to give my son a life with his mother and father together. Something neither she or I ever had.

However after 4 years, the first 2 so horrible I truly can't think about them, I have a great life with my son in our original home that we now share with these two little guys...

No one to cook and clean anymore (except for me), but life is very good and right now I wouldn't change a thing.

Damn near ditto. I just walked out of a bad 7 year marriage for the same reason. I am keeping my step daughter. I have been her ONLY daddy since she was 2 months old. Walking away hurt bad but not as bad as staying. I think it will be best down the road. All of my girls love their daddy and that's all that matters. At times it seems like they're no right answers. I have a bad habit of making bad choices for the right reason. I am learning to listen to my gut more.

GotAmmo

10-12-10, 00:24

that hooker in thailand

but seriously.... joining the Army... and staying in long enough to make E7 in 10 yrs

Honu

10-12-10, 02:32

Meh, things like that are better not to even think about. I don't think there's an intelligent person on earth that couldn't be a multi millionaire if they could go back in time ten years.

yup exactly why the move forward attitude :)

wake.joe

10-12-10, 03:52

My son.

I was 18 when I found out my now wife was pregnant. Not on that day, nor today, have I felt any regrets. My son has taught me how to be an adult, and how to be a father.

I love him dearly.

bkb0000

10-12-10, 06:43

i'm gonna get sappy on you guys.

strange twists, and critical decisions, throughout our lives. some we know are going to change things forever... others we cant possibly know the effect they're going to have.

i've often thought about how i ended up where i am... there are definitely two pivotal decisions that i made in my early adulthood that had to have happened at the time they did, and had to have been decided the way they were, for things to have come out the way they did.

the first was in accepting an MEB decision for involuntary separation. i'd been hurt, and was looking at a long road of rehab. i couldn't be airborne light infantry anymore, at least not for 2 years, my doctor told me. i would be re-classed... nice, easy job as a driver, or maybe supply. **** that. i took the MEB. i'd fully intended to be career enlisted, and nothing more, and nothing less, than airborne light infantry. it was all or nothing, for me.

the second decision was in deciding not to go AWOL about 2 months before my discharge, to save a relationship that needed a swift, brutal death. my on-again-off-again girlfriend had dumped me again, and left the country. and my first sergeant, knowing how destructive the relationship was for me, refused to sign off on my 31 to go get her back. he told me to leave it alone- i told him to eat shit and die (or something to that effect), and stormed off, 100% determined to go anyway. as i was thrashing my room and stuffing my bag, my buddy came over and talked some sense into me... "so in a nutshell, you're about to be honorably, medically discharged, with a rating, with severance pay, get locked into the VA and all that comes with that... and you're gonna throw it all away over a stupid bitch that's been doggin you since day one?" for some reason, the way he put it, i suddenly realized how insane the relationship was. my crazy love for her was truly crazy- it made no rational sense. how could i love her so hard when we'd never been anything more than poison to each other? damnit... **** her. i let her go, once and for all.

i went a little off the deep end, and got into a little more trouble.. but fortunately, my superiors had a lot of sympathy for my situation. i had my un-acceptable words toward the first sergeant to account for, as well as some issues with drinking and being a minor.. i got a handful of summarized article 15s that never amounted to anything more than a short "confinement to quarters" for a day or two at a time. for those of you who don't know what a "summarized" is- it's a company level, non-judicial punishment. doesn't even follow you when you leave your unit. i guess they figured Unky Sam owed me a little leeway, after the rough hand i'd been dealt.

depressed, gimped up, discharged, unemployed, career over before it started, woman i'd wanted so badly to marry gone for good... 9/11 happened about two months after i got out. my company took wing for afghanistan without me. on to fight the battles i was trained for, but would never experience. to fight my generation's war. i watched from my grandmother's couch.

a few months later, i got into the VA's chapter 31, and started going to school. i recovered a lot faster than my Army doctor had predicted... :rolleyes: i got a job as a loss prevention specialist for a major retailer and caught shoplifters for a while... it wasn't combat, but at least it was a little exciting. i'd been studying criminal justice, and had wanted to be a cop... but halfway through my last term, i quit- i realized i didn't much care for how modern LE had evolved, didn't much care for a lot of the officers i'd spent so much time with. another major decision, obviously... but i think my own nature made that decision for me. by then, i'd already switched from LP to construction, and as with pretty much everything, i picked it up fast. with some good guidance from some great mentors, i was a foreman within a year- already making better money than i'd make as a rookie cop (in a state that pays their cops pretty damn good)... within a couple more years, i was on my own, contracting my own jobs. nothing says "right decision" like netting $20,000 in one month.

the ex-girlfriend married some douche-bag grocery clerk at some point in there.

id met a pretty little lady named Rochelle... and quickly learned what real, healthy, positive love was. she wasn't vindictive.. she wasn't spiteful. she didn't keep score. she loved me.

http://i844.photobucket.com/albums/ab6/bkb0000/family/Photo_070608_031.jpg?t=1286876478

didn't take long, we were attached at the hip.. the shy, unpretentious, beautiful country girl that she is, Rochelle didn't want a big expensive wedding. a simple ceremony performed by a first-time minister (who was easily the most nervous person in the whole building), attended by our closest friends and family.. and pretty soon we were making other people..

http://i844.photobucket.com/albums/ab6/bkb0000/family/Photo_062308_005.jpg?t=1286876589

the ex-girlfriend wasn't love. she was an anomaly. she was a slow death. she always told me she loved me, but she didn't have any clue. it's not just a concept, or a word. it's not getting into vicious fights over what to have for dinner.. it's not spite.. it's not one-sided and selfish. it's not abandonment. this is love:

http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc3/hs165.snc3/19240_1354506465820_1326203159_1024425_8207667_n.jpg

and this:
http://i844.photobucket.com/albums/ab6/bkb0000/family/Photo_061508_009.jpg?t=1286876814http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/hs136.snc1/5816_1201041909302_1326203159_581422_7832264_n.jpghttp://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/hs136.snc1/5816_1210992478060_1326203159_617654_1682107_n.jpghttp://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/hs136.snc1/5816_1210992558062_1326203159_617656_3636699_n.jpghttp://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/hs209.snc1/7629_1222787692933_1326203159_657579_5756143_n.jpghttp://i844.photobucket.com/albums/ab6/bkb0000/family/Photo_062708_012.jpg?t=1286877068http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/hs136.snc1/5816_1201043589344_1326203159_581463_5441638_n.jpghttp://i844.photobucket.com/albums/ab6/bkb0000/family/Photo_061508_012.jpg?t=1286877434http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/hs136.snc1/5816_1201043469341_1326203159_581460_3496359_n.jpghttp://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc3/hs157.snc3/18440_1317715146060_1326203159_924735_6165475_n.jpghttp://i844.photobucket.com/albums/ab6/bkb0000/family/Photo_062308_006.jpg?t=1286877590http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/hs030.snc1/3191_1143835799185_1326203159_381724_1508771_n.jpghttp://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/hs030.snc1/3191_1143835999190_1326203159_381729_77163_n.jpghttp://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/hs209.snc1/7629_1222788572955_1326203159_657599_149354_n.jpg

i didn't get the girl i'd thought i'd loved so much... so much wasted agony over that girl. and what a terrible marriage we would have had, more of the same- resent, mistrust, spite.. Rochelle has turned out to be about as close to perfect as i could imagine- utterly honest, utterly loyal, utterly dependable... keeps my castle, raises my boys, takes care of us all.. her shy monalisa smile is our sunshine. and she thinks the world of me. i do not deserve her.

http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/photos-ak-snc1/v2732/177/90/1326203159/n1326203159_334681_1065654.jpg

and yea... i missed the war.

but i got to teach my boys how to skip rocks- and especially after reliving this journey for you guys, i think that's a hell of a lot better anyway.

http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/hs030.snc1/3191_1143834599155_1326203159_381697_3358673_n.jpg

---

thanks for starting this thread, grant. i haven't been through our mountain of pictures in a long time. i still tend to get upset when i think about the what-could-have-beens.... but i know there's absolutely nothing i would change, if i could. i wouldn't trade this for the world. i love the shit out of my wife, my 4 little boys, love my job, have a great supportive family... i even like most of my in-laws. we have hard times- the recession has hit us pretty hard. but i know that even if i didn't have a pot to piss in, there's millionaires that would trade it all for my life.

thank God for right decisions.

Alex V

10-12-10, 09:11

The only thinks that come to mind are decisions I sometimes wish I made differenty.

I did not get accepted to the USNA my first try so I went to Architecture school and applied again. On my second try I was nominated by my local congressman and accepted but having spent a year in college, drinking and having a good time, having a hot a$$ GF and knowing I would not be able to see her as much being in Annapolis and whatever other dumb excuse I came up with I chose not to go.

That was May of 2001 and that mistake haunts me everyday since.

That changed my life because after that I swore I would never **** up an oppertunity like that again.

kry226

10-12-10, 09:39

Good deal, bkb. Your priorities are definitely in-check. You are very blessed.

We all need this kind of reality check and humbling from time to time.

rat31465

10-12-10, 10:46

Not me in Prison, But one of my Older Brothers....Without going into great detail as to why...One of my Older Brothers was sentenced to Life in Prison when I was 17....At this point in my life I was well on my way to following in his footsteps.
Seeing him go was hard for me to take as I was closer to him than any of my other 6 brothers and sisters.
Shortly afterwards I graduated high school and went to work on the road with some friends of mine who had a Heavy Metal Band in High School. I ran lights and sound for them for the better part of 8-years.
At the age of 19 I met my wife, whom I have now been with for nearly 26-years. We have two daughters and two Grandsons now.

One other thing kept me on the straight and narrow from that point on.

My Dad gave me my first firearm when I was 4-years old and I had always loved to hunt. At the age of 21 I bought my first handgun and fell in love with shooting as a sport as well.
Not wishing to lose my Rights to own Firearms was just another in the growing list of reasons to keep myself out of trouble.
So I always have said that Prison, Guns and Rock and Roll changed my life around.
As for my brother...He is due to be released spring of 2011, after nearly 28 years in Missouri's Prison System.

ucrt

10-12-10, 12:12

.

I don't know if it one of the "signs" of being mature or of being a man but we come to a point that we realize the "things" in life that truly make us happy come from God as blessings.

I've got some nice possessions and I'm sure I'm not alone when I say they do not make me happy. Those nice possessions give me pleasure but it is the wife, kids, health, friends, love, contentment, joy, etc. that make us happy and fulfilled.

Thanks Grant, this thread is good because it makes us realize that we all have made decisons that either put us in a good position to receive these blessings or bad position that prevents (or delays) us from receiving.

It doesn't do any good (other than to counsel others) to wonder about what "could have been" because that just makes us bitter, depressed, remorseful, etc. I think we have to continuously make good decisions to keep us in that position to continually receive good things.

I've made some terrible decisons but I wouldn't want to go back to undo them because I may not have made it to where I am now with the wife, kids, friends, job, etc.

I saw a signature line the other day that was pretty good, "I am a work in progress, look for epitaph for results."

But maybe it's just me... :)

Thank y'all for contributing!

.

Littlelebowski

10-12-10, 12:48

In pictures:

US Marine Corps Infantry (pictured with 6'5" little brother)

http://i66.photobucket.com/albums/h251/baxshep/BaxBillyUniforms1-1.jpg

Wife

http://i66.photobucket.com/albums/h251/baxshep/DSC00850.jpg

Kid (with my best friend Nacho the Belgian Malinois and sworn protector of my family)

http://i66.photobucket.com/albums/h251/baxshep/DSC00156.jpg

CarlosDJackal

10-12-10, 15:53

- Immigrating to Canada.
- Immigrating to the United States.
- Joining the US Army.
- Volunteering for Airborne School.
- PCSing to Alaska as an Arctic Paratrooper.
- Joining the MD-ARNG.
- Attending Flight School (Fort Rucker).
- Obtaining my Bachelor's Degree.
- Joining the USAR after 12 years in the ING/IRR.

I haven't found that woman who can put up with me enough to settle down with.