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FromMyColdDeadHand
11-29-10, 23:40
Soooo, I'm in line at the security check point with all my stuff in bins and I ask the TSA guy standing there if I have to remove my "Digital camera, an SLR" out of my check on bag. It's a Canon 5DmkII with vertical grip and a 24-105 lens, bigger than most camcorders, so I wanted to check. He said no.

Here's where it gets weird. About 20 seconds later another TSA agent, a dumpy woman in her 50s comes over and asks, with about 5 people in ear shot, "Do you have a personal stimulator in the bag". I give her my best blend of WTF and 'did I hear you right' face. She asks the question again. I stick with the WTF face and tell her "Uhhh, no?"

CREEEPPPY!

I'm afraid if I said yes she would have had to search my bag in a back room.

It's never the hot ones with the odd questions.
Belmont31R
11-29-10, 23:50
Maybe she's used to 105MM tool?
RancidSumo
11-29-10, 23:52
Shows the quality of employee that they hire when they can confuse a camera with a lens for a "personal stimulator".
armakraut
11-30-10, 00:02
"Uhh, I'm not sure. What is a personal stimulator? Could you describe what one looks like and how it works?"

or...

"No, but Insha'Allah in an hour and a half I will have 72 personal stimulators."

or...

"Oh heavens no, last time I left that in the bag it was stolen, it's traveling this time in a much more secure location."
Bolt_Overide
11-30-10, 03:00
I would have embarressed the shit out of her.

"Wow sounds like youre an expert in personal stimulation devices"
FromMyColdDeadHand
11-30-10, 05:52
Shows the quality of employee that they hire when they can confuse a camera with a lens for a "personal stimulator".

I hadn't even pulled it out. "Excuse me while I whip this out." ;)

I guess she overheard our conversation mistook "Digital SLR" for "Personal Stimulator"- I guess that just shows where her mind was.
DaBears_85
11-30-10, 06:22
I guess she overheard our conversation mistook "Digital SLR" for "Personal Stimulator"- I guess that just shows where her mind was.

Maybe seeing you got her all hot and bothered and that's why her mind was were it was. I would've taken the whole thing as a compliment. :D
The_War_Wagon
11-30-10, 07:21
Yeah, but they bitch and moan about being UN-fairly castigated as perverts, molesters, etc. :rolleyes:

If the TSA actually knew it's derriere from a depression in the earth, they'd sidle up to you casually and say, "Dhurka, dhurka," to see if you'd give the PROPER response - "Dhurka - dhurka, JIHAD" - and thus give yourself away - like MacDonald does getting on the bus in "The Great Escape." ;)
mr_smiles
11-30-10, 07:30
So did you have a personal stimulator in your bag? :sarcastic:
Palmguy
11-30-10, 07:36
Geez...a 24-105 would be one hell of a personal stimulator...
FromMyColdDeadHand
11-30-10, 08:08
I was starting to worry that they had planted something, or didn't like my Xtranormal movie I had made.

I guess the bigger question is, if I had, what would she had made me do????


Funny thing..... before 9/11 I was going to take a 12 inch 'item' and glue a tin foil cut out of a knife to the inside of its box and put it in a work buddies carry on bag. Have them pull that bad boy out of its sheath. He had already been 'outed' by a screener looking thru his bag and coming across a porn DVD case with the fun cover shots. Post 9/11, not so funny.

About a year ago on a slow day once I did ask a TSA guy what was the most embarrassing thing he had seen in his screening. Being a bit more forward than I thought he'd be, he said a double dildo- in a guys bag. :confused:
Buckaroo
11-30-10, 08:09
I vote we merge this thread with https://www.m4carbine.net/showthread.php?t=68037

Buckaroo
Magic_Salad0892
11-30-10, 08:16
''Oh God. You look like you need one...''
DaBears_85
11-30-10, 08:42
Yeah, but they bitch and moan about being UN-fairly castigated as perverts, molesters, etc. :rolleyes:

If the TSA actually knew it's derriere from a depression in the earth, they'd sidle up to you casually and say, "Dhurka, dhurka," to see if you'd give the PROPER response - "Dhurka - dhurka, JIHAD" - and thus give yourself away - like MacDonald does getting on the bus in "The Great Escape." ;)

Haha...

Although technically the correct response is, "Durka durka, mohammed jihad."

Oh shit, I've said too much... :)
Mac5.56
11-30-10, 09:27
Soooo, I'm in line at the security check point with all my stuff in bins and I ask the TSA guy standing there if I have to remove my "Digital camera, an SLR" out of my check on bag. It's a Canon 5DmkII with vertical grip and a 24-105 lens, bigger than most camcorders, so I wanted to check. He said no.

Here's where it gets weird. About 20 seconds later another TSA agent, a dumpy woman in her 50s comes over and asks, with about 5 people in ear shot, "Do you have a personal stimulator in the bag". I give her my best blend of WTF and 'did I hear you right' face. She asks the question again. I stick with the WTF face and tell her "Uhhh, no?"

CREEEPPPY!

I'm afraid if I said yes she would have had to search my bag in a back room.

It's never the hot ones with the odd questions.

Here's my question: What the **** does it matter if you do? Seriously. How, if at all, does this even warrant a damn question?

Uuugghhh.
Gentoo
11-30-10, 23:59
Its for your safety, citizen.
Magic_Salad0892
12-01-10, 06:16
Should have asked if she wanted to borrow it.
FromMyColdDeadHand
12-01-10, 07:02
Should have asked if she wanted to borrow it.

Vibrators and dildos are like scotch tape. You don't borrow them, you use and keep it.
Magic_Salad0892
12-01-10, 09:02
Sharing is caring, dude.
Honu
12-01-10, 11:28
"Do you have a personal stimulator in the bag". I give her my best blend of WTF and 'did I hear you right' face. She asks the question again. I stick with the WTF face and tell her "Uhhh, no?"

CREEEPPPY!


NO have one in my pants I bet you want to pat down ! but sorry would rather get cancer going through the scanner than have you touch me !
FromMyColdDeadHand
12-01-10, 12:38
NO have one in my pants I bet you want to pat down ! but sorry would rather get cancer going through the scanner than have you touch me !

Should have just waggled my tongue at her.

You know you are married too long when you tell this story to your wife, and she laughs at you rather than getting jealous over the woman's comments.
parishioner
12-01-10, 20:29
My brother in law saw this lady in the Charlotte airport the other day and snapped some photos with his phone. She was randomly selected to go through the body scanner, but opted out. She was told she would have to be patted down. Upon hearing that, she began to strip down to this.....

I love leopard!


http://i602.photobucket.com/albums/tt101/jordandalleman/IMG00056.jpg

http://i602.photobucket.com/albums/tt101/jordandalleman/IMG00054.jpg

This TSA crap is just downright ridiculous. I have to fly next month and I'm not looking forward to it at all.