This post sucks to write....hopefully it'll help somebody.

[jaxman7]

Guys first off I just want to say this post is NOT meant to be a feel sorry for Jax free for all. I am (and probably the majority of us on here are not) touchy feely fellas and like to open up to other fellas.
I just looked up an old thread back in October named 'Choices that have changed your life'. I posted on there that I found the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Well I had and she is an incredible lady. I bought the ring and Ucrt came up with an ingenious way to ask her. I had a great job that paid pretty good and I was the boss. I at the time only had one AR but I built it exactly the way I wanted it. Life was good and this is embarrassing for me to admit this but my drinking took over. I could hide it well from people and my soon to be fiance didn't even know what alcohol smelled like. Fast forward to December. I lost my job, had to sell my AR, and the most painful of all, the woman I wanted to grow old with wants nothing to do with me now. This sucks and it hurts but thank God I stopped drinking when I had every excuse in my head to drink even more.
I know I'll get a few replies here saying I'm an idiot for posting this on an open international forum and I don't care. For the past couple of months I have been going regularly to A.A. meetings. It was nothing like I had imagined. My assumption was that there would be nothing but vagabonds, vagrants, and winos there. I was shocked to find doctors, lawyers, r.n. s, some very wealthy people in my neck of the woods, and some old friend's of mine. It put the impression on me that alcohol and the problems it can cause with abuse is MUCH more widespread than I could've imagined.
Here is my reason for this post. If you have kids, a loving wife, a family, a good job, and/or just a great life in general and you know you have a problem with drugs/drinking please get help. I lost the most precious thing God ever gave me and b/c of my actions she wont say one word to me. That and many other things.You and your family are worth so much more than a stupid bottle of liquid. If you are in the same ship I currently float on know there is hope out there and seek it. I'll be fine eventually I know and dang it I miss my freaking AR. Ok I've pretty much made an idiot of myself long enough but I know someone needs this. I sure did before all of this happened to myself.

-Jax

[Whootsinator]

How you fall is not important... it is how, and if, you get back up. You've fallen and though you've lost a lot, you've gained a lot at the same time. Good on you for saving yourself before it was too late.


edit - You may want to change at least part of your sig though. ;)

[jaxman7]

Whootsinator,

Thanks for the words bud! Good Lord my sig line does need some alterations!

-Jax

[Magic_Salad0892]

I'm glad to see that you're getting better.

Best of wishes.

[ucrt]

Guys first off I just want to say this post is NOT meant to be a feel sorry for Jax free for all. I am (and probably the majority of us on here are not) touchy feely fellas and like to open up to other fellas.
I just looked up an old thread back in October named 'Choices that have changed your life'. I posted on there that I found the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Well I had and she is an incredible lady. I bought the ring and Ucrt came up with an ingenious way to ask her. I had a great job that paid pretty good and I was the boss. I at the time only had one AR but I built it exactly the way I wanted it. Life was good and this is embarrassing for me to admit this but my drinking took over. I could hide it well from people and my soon to be fiance didn't even know what alcohol smelled like. Fast forward to December. I lost my job, had to sell my AR, and the most painful of all, the woman I wanted to grow old with wants nothing to do with me now. This sucks and it hurts but thank God I stopped drinking when I had every excuse in my head to drink even more.
I know I'll get a few replies here saying I'm an idiot for posting this on an open international forum and I don't care. For the past couple of months I have been going regularly to A.A. meetings. It was nothing like I had imagined. My assumption was that there would be nothing but vagabonds, vagrants, and winos there. I was shocked to find doctors, lawyers, r.n. s, some very wealthy people in my neck of the woods, and some old friend's of mine. It put the impression on me that alcohol and the problems it can cause with abuse is MUCH more widespread than I could've imagined.
Here is my reason for this post. If you have kids, a loving wife, a family, a good job, and/or just a great life in general and you know you have a problem with drugs/drinking please get help. I lost the most precious thing God gave ever me and now she wont say one word to me. That and many other things.You and your family are worth so much more than a stupid bottle of liquid. If you are in the same ship I currently float on know there is hope out there and seek it. I'll be fine eventually I know and dang it I miss my freaking AR. Ok I've pretty much made an idiot of myself long enough but I know someone needs this. I sure did before all of this happened to myself.

-Jax


Jax,
An honest post from the heart. Hang in there.
Sounds like you are getting back in the drivers seat. Congrats! Don't give up hope!

I'll be prayin' for you.

.

[jklaughrey]

Just like my sig says, never judge a man by his success, you judge him by how he deals with failure. Words never ring so true. I applaud you being courageous enough to bare your intimate thoughts with friends and colleagues. Although we may be a small community and mostly singular in nature. We all have a kinship in taking care of our own.

Cheers and God Bless.

[Magic_Salad0892]

Other people judge you by your actions. You judge yourself by your intentions.

[lethal dose]

Will be praying for a sucessful recovery, man. Things'll fall into place. You workin' at all?

[mnoe82]

Gutsy post. Im sure a lot of people will be praying for your success Jax.

[jaxman7]

Mnoe, magic, jk, lethal, & ucrt,

Everything said is very much appreciated guys more than I can say on here. I just hope someone will read this and not lose something close to them.
The support on M4C never ceases to impress me. Besides everyone I've mentioned so far there were quite a few PMs of encouragement when I checked my box this morning. Heck of a good way to start a day.

Lethal,

To answer your question no I am not working right now. Well nothing permanent. I keep searching for a job with equal pay as my last one but I am going to get off my high horse and take what I can find just for now.

UCRT,

I still believe your plan is ingenious. I hope and pray I get the chance to use it one day. Thanks brother.

-Jax

[montanadave]

Stick with the winners! Some of the best people I've ever met I met around the tables at AA (including my wife!).

If you had to trade an AR to find AA, I think you made the right decision. There'll be another rifle down the road. Ain't no problem in the world that a little booze can't make even worse.

Best wishes for your continued recovery and success.

[Suwannee Tim]

There was a time in my life when I drank too much. For some reason unknown to me I was able to recognize it (most drunks don't) and make a change (most drunks can't). I have not had a drink in over ten years and firmly intend never to have another. I have no idea how much damage alcohol might have done to me but if my oldest brother is an indication the damage would have been severe. The alcohol free years of my life have been by far the most happy of my adult life. You are a rarity, jaxman, someone who has stood at the edge of the abyss but walked away. You will meet folks at AA who have lost a lot more than you. You should consider these folks carefully and understand that there is a lesson to be learned from them, that you have been blessed in an enormous way. Broken hearts heal. Lives shattered by booze don't.

[Hersh]

Jax,

It sounds trite, but I do believe windows can open when doors are slammed shut. The good news is you can come back from this, believe me.

Regards.

[tracker722]

**************************

[Watrdawg]

The road to recovery starts with the realization there is a problem. Obviously you started down that road. Godspeed and stay between the ruts. Don't worry about the forks you may come to as long as you stay on the road itsef.

[Don Robison]

Not much I can add that hasn't been said; so I'll just say congrats for hanging in there.

[parishioner]

I met Jax for the first time back in August after a regional group was created for South MS/LA. It was going to be my first three gun match and the weekend before he kindly invited me to a range to practice with him the weekend before. We've met up quite a few times at the range since and he has been a great shooting companion. Very knowledgeable and a good shooter. I've learned quite a bit from shooting with him. He has even let me borrow his gear. I haven't known him very long but I've known him long enough to know for certain that Jax is a good man with a kind heart and have no doubt that he will see himself through this.

Glad you got help dude. I know you're going through an arduous journey at the moment but its not forever. Keep making steps in the right direction.

[jaxman7]

Wow. I humbly say thank you to everyone that has posted. I had no idea what kind of response this thread would receive. Like I said I hope it gets to the right ears. Chances are someone in your life is going through this as well.

Jman, thanks brother. It's a funny thing because not too long before I sold my AR he sent me great Christmas present. He'll probably hate me for saying this but he won the November Battlecomp giveaway. After I got home from my very first A.A. meeting there was a small package in the mail. It was Jman's Battlecomp. So there is the beginning of the next build or purchase. God was saying 'Hang in there' and he has again today....Now if he could help me hang in there with an SR-15 E3! ;) Again fellas, much thanks.

-Jax

[rickrock305]

Good luck, hope everything works out for you. You're in for quite a struggle but you'll come out the other side a stronger person.

[chadbag]

Good luck there dude!

[M4Fundi]

God Bless You!

Keep being honest with yourself and your friends and family and it will be all good again!

[GermanSynergy]

Having gone through my share of rough patches, all I can tell you is that no matter how much it hurts now, the sun always comes up tomorrow, and life will get better.

[Suwannee Tim]

Another thing to remember, be careful what you say about alcohol, especially in print, like here. Alcoholism can be grounds for denying rights.

[RogerinTPA]

Good luck, stay strong, believe in yourself and keep the faith.

[Cagemonkey]

Thanks for the post. It took great courage and fortitude for you to write. Most of all you are to be commended for facing the situation head on and doing what is best for yourself and your family. Alcoholism runs in my family and I always have to be aware of my drinking. Lucky for me, my wife doesn't drink and is good at reminding me of the danger that lurks around the corner. God bless you and your family. You will come out of this a stronger and better man.

[Jake'sDad]

PM me when you do start your next build. I'm sure I'll have stuff around that you could use and I'd be proud to send you.

Better days ahead my friend.

[Safetyhit]

My friend I truly wish you the best from here forward.

[jaxman7]

Like I mentioned in my previous post, and I don't know what else to say but thank you to everyone who has posted on this thread or PM'd me. The support has been just incredible. I bet I have spent well over an hour today just replying to PM's about guys who've been there and done that or just dropping me a line to not give up or in. If I missed anyone I apologize. Proof again of the class of people we have on here.
I am overwhelmed and even more appreciative of being a member here than ever.

-Jax

[HES]

How you fall is not important... it is how, and if, you get back up. You've fallen and though you've lost a lot, you've gained a lot at the same time. Good on you for saving yourself before it was too late.
This. Im sorry you had to go through this, but it sounds like you are getting it back together. I wish you the best of luck in this.