View Full Version : Why cats would make better snipers than dogs...
My cat trying to hide in the yard. Gotta admire the ghillie suit :D
http://i571.photobucket.com/albums/ss158/5757_photos/001-34.jpg
Tree cancer! What a rookie ;)
Heavy Metal
11-18-11, 16:30
My Calico could dissappear so well it's scary! She is a housecat-only now.
They are tactical as hell, ultimate stealth, agility, and prowess, don't f**K with a feline:cool:
Cool cat:)
snackgunner
11-18-11, 18:13
When walking my little 5 pound mut (dog) at night, I sometimes find a cat hiding behind the tire of a vehicle or a flower pot or something. The cats always watch my dog all stealthy like ready to pounce on him if he was to get close. Its funny how my dog doesnt even realize the cat is there, even though its only 3 or 4 feet away and how easily the cat could rip him to shreds, if he so wished.
Nightvisionary
11-18-11, 18:15
Mankind was brought to the brink of destruction during the first Man-Kzin war.
http://www.larryniven.net/kzin/images/kzin_seductress.jpg
http://andrewlansdown.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/man-kzin-wars-x-large.jpg
http://covers.openlibrary.org/w/id/478367-L.jpg
My Calico could dissappear so well it's scary! She is a housecat-only now.
Its cause Calico is close to "Multi-Cam"
Its even got the same letters! Hahaha
Mankind was brought to the brink of destruction during the first Man-Kzin war.
http://www.larryniven.net/kzin/images/kzin_seductress.jpg
http://andrewlansdown.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/man-kzin-wars-x-large.jpg
http://covers.openlibrary.org/w/id/478367-L.jpg
Good Books. Hard Science fiction. Lots of people don't like that. I however do.
Also Cats are one of the few Apex predators on the planet. They don't need tools to be downright scary.
PdxMotoxer
11-18-11, 23:41
Monkeys for the win.
(after Call Of Duty EVERYONE thinks they are Snipers!!)
Cat diary
Day 983 of My Captivity
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now ...
Dog diary
08:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
09:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
09:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
01:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
03:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
05:00 pm - Dinner! My favorite thing!
07:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
08:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
arizonaranchman
11-19-11, 13:53
When walking my little 5 pound mut (dog) at night, I sometimes find a cat hiding behind the tire of a vehicle or a flower pot or something. The cats always watch my dog all stealthy like ready to pounce on him if he was to get close. Its funny how my dog doesnt even realize the cat is there, even though its only 3 or 4 feet away and how easily the cat could rip him to shreds, if he so wished.
Pound for pound cats are the most dangerous animal on earth. Very deadly and efficient creatures.
My Calico could dissappear so well it's scary! She is a housecat-only now.
The term is Multicam kitten. Please use the correct terms before someone comes along and slaps that CLIP/MAGAZINE pic on the thread. :lol:
PdxMotoxer
11-20-11, 00:16
They are more crafty than i thought!!!
http://i78.photobucket.com/albums/j83/Timinator2K6/SniperCat.jpg
Now i know why my Dobie is scared of cats!!
variablebinary
11-20-11, 00:47
I remember reading one nature mag that said the domestic house cat is the most successful predator in the world. This was related to a story of a single cat that annihilated some species somewhere in a fairly short period of time.
Personally, I'm a dog guy but I have a lot of respect for great cats. Some of you guys may remember the 500 pound tiger, Ming, that was taken from a Harlem housing project about 10 years ago. Here is a link and the articles covering the events leading up to her discovery are hilarious (neighbors hearing jungle noises and urine coming thru the ceiling).
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1319070/I-kept-500lbs-tiger-tiny-apartment--attacked-New-Yorkers-unique-relationship-unusual-pet.html
It turns our that Ming was sent to an animal conservatory in OH. I fear that it may have been the one of recent fame where the owner freed the animals before his suicide resulting in most being killed by police.
Also, I saw an article in USA Today last week detailing how the great cats are in real danger of extinction.
Suwannee Tim
11-22-11, 15:24
They have excellent vision and their hearing is incredible.
Personally, I'm a dog guy but I have a lot of respect for great cats. Some of you guys may remember the 500 pound tiger, Ming, that was taken from a Harlem housing project about 10 years ago. Here is a link and the articles covering the events leading up to her discovery are hilarious (neighbors hearing jungle noises and urine coming thru the ceiling).
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1319070/I-kept-500lbs-tiger-tiny-apartment--attacked-New-Yorkers-unique-relationship-unusual-pet.html
It turns our that Ming was sent to an animal conservatory in OH. I fear that it may have been the one of recent fame where the owner freed the animals before his suicide resulting in most being killed by police.
Also, I saw an article in USA Today last week detailing how the great cats are in real danger of extinction.
That was crazy and sad! I can imagine my response if my Sgt informed me we would be hunting lions and tigers...got your handgun ready?
My girlfriends son was given a kitten by his dad while he was AT his dad's. I was pretty dead set against it but seeing as I was out-voted, we have a new kitten.
I gotta say, the little bastard has grown on me. Though there are times when I could give him both barrels! It is interesting how he's developed his hunting skills over the month or so that we've had him. He use to chase the laser straight on, where it went, he went. Now, he reminds me a bit of a hockey goalie "blocking" the dot.
Also, he knows EXACTLY where my hand is under the blanket. It's almost like he has X-ray vision. I also love the noises he makes, especially when he stands up to my girlfriends cat, Sophia who's ~11yo. He always pounces on her, she hisses and bats him a few times and runs off and he chases her. (See "both barrels" comment above.)
Now if only he'd learn to cover his shit better! :rolleyes:
ETA: He's actually cuddled up next to me as I type this. Yes, he's daddy's boy. :p
They have excellent vision and their hearing is incredible.
Yeah? Well, they can't drive worth a shit...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-rdLOrOLJiA&feature=youtube_gdata_player
They have excellent vision and their hearing is incredible.
I have always wondered just how good a cat's hearing is. I have owned many cats that can distinguish a car door being shut and knowing if it's friend or foe so to speak.
Either that or they can assess their surroundings and determine that all the friends are present and accounted for and that a car door present under that condition means potential trouble.
So it's either hearing or in the moment reasoning which is pretty damn good either way.
FromMyColdDeadHand
11-23-11, 00:01
Reminds me I need to sit down and watch my Blue Ray "Cat Shit One" video again.
We have an outdoor kitten(7months old) that likes to attack from above. I'll be in the front yard throwing retrieving dummies for my lab and the cat will climb about 5 ft up a pine tree that my dog runs by. I do this on purpose because its funny as hell to watch. I throw the bumper so my dog has to run right by the tree. When he does the cat jumps from the tree right on my dogs back. Scares the hell out of the dog and I die laughing. The cat doesn't stick its claws out at all when he lands on my dog. Funny thing is you would think the dog would learn not to run by the tree but he still does. I've done it 4-5 times so far. This cat will also hide in the bushes and ambush the dogs as they run by.
Cat Bathing As A Martial Art
1. Know that although the kitty cat has the advantage of quickness and lack of concern for human life, you have the advantage of strength. Capitalize on that advantage by selecting the battlefield. Don't try to bathe him in an open area where he can force you to chase him. Pick a very small bathroom. If your bathroom is more than four feet square, we recommend that you get in the tub with the cat and close the sliding-glass doors as if you were about to take a shower. (A simple shower curtain will not do. A berserk cat can shred a three-ply rubber shower curtain quicker than a politician can shift positions.)
2. Know that a cat has claws and will not hesitate to remove all the skin from your body. Your advantage here is that you are smart and know how to dress to protect yourself. We recommend canvas overalls tucked into high-top construction boots, a pair of steel-mesh gloves, an army helmet, a hockey face-mask, and a long-sleeved flak jacket.
3. Use the element of surprise. Pick up your cat nonchalantly, as if to simply carry him to his supper dish. (Cats will not usually notice your strange attire. They have little or no interest in fashion as a rule.)
4. Once you are inside the bathroom, speed is essential to survival. In a single liquid motion, shut the bathroom door, step into the tub enclosure, slide the glass door shut, dip the cat in the water and squirt him with shampoo. You have now begun one of the wildest 45 seconds of your life.
5. Cats have no handles. Add the fact that he now has soapy fur, and the problem is radically compounded. Do not expect to hold on to him for more than two or three seconds at a time. When you have him, however, you must remember to give him another squirt of shampoo and rub like crazy. He'll then spring free and fall back into the water, thereby rinsing himself off. (The national record for cats is three latherings, so don't expect too much.)
6. Next, the cat must be dried. Novice cat bathers always assume this part will be the most difficult, for humans generally are worn out at this point and the cat is just getting really determined. In fact, the drying is simple compared with what you have just been through. That's because by now the cat is semi-permanently affixed to your right leg.
7. You simply pop the drain plug with your foot, reach for your towel and wait. (Occasionally, however, the cat will end up clinging to the top of your army helmet. If this happens, the best thing you can do is to shake him loose and to encourage him toward your leg.) After all the water is drained from the tub, it is a simple matter to just reach down and dry the cat.
8. In a few days the cat will relax enough to be removed from your leg. He will usually have nothing to say for about three weeks and will spend a lot of time sitting with his back to you. He might even become psychoceramic and develop the fixed stare of a plaster figurine.
9. You will be tempted to assume he is angry. This isn't usually the case. As a rule he is simply plotting ways to get through your defenses and injure you for life the next time you decide to give him a bath. But at least now he smells a lot better.
Yeah? Well, they can't drive worth a shit...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-rdLOrOLJiA&feature=youtube_gdata_player
really?
do dogs chase cats (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uzFLWYF5hQU)
[ don't know how they got him to look to his side mirror, then up to his rear view mirror at the end. [or how many takes it took. ] ]
Cat Bathing As A Martial Art
1. Know that although the kitty cat has the advantage of quickness and lack of concern for human life, you have the advantage of strength. Capitalize on that advantage by selecting the battlefield. Don't try to bathe him in an open area where he can force you to chase him. Pick a very small bathroom. If your bathroom is more than four feet square, we recommend that you get in the tub with the cat and close the sliding-glass doors as if you were about to take a shower. (A simple shower curtain will not do. A berserk cat can shred a three-ply rubber shower curtain quicker than a politician can shift positions.)
2. Know that a cat has claws and will not hesitate to remove all the skin from your body. Your advantage here is that you are smart and know how to dress to protect yourself. We recommend canvas overalls tucked into high-top construction boots, a pair of steel-mesh gloves, an army helmet, a hockey face-mask, and a long-sleeved flak jacket.
3. Use the element of surprise. Pick up your cat nonchalantly, as if to simply carry him to his supper dish. (Cats will not usually notice your strange attire. They have little or no interest in fashion as a rule.)
4. Once you are inside the bathroom, speed is essential to survival. In a single liquid motion, shut the bathroom door, step into the tub enclosure, slide the glass door shut, dip the cat in the water and squirt him with shampoo. You have now begun one of the wildest 45 seconds of your life.
5. Cats have no handles. Add the fact that he now has soapy fur, and the problem is radically compounded. Do not expect to hold on to him for more than two or three seconds at a time. When you have him, however, you must remember to give him another squirt of shampoo and rub like crazy. He'll then spring free and fall back into the water, thereby rinsing himself off. (The national record for cats is three latherings, so don't expect too much.)
6. Next, the cat must be dried. Novice cat bathers always assume this part will be the most difficult, for humans generally are worn out at this point and the cat is just getting really determined. In fact, the drying is simple compared with what you have just been through. That's because by now the cat is semi-permanently affixed to your right leg.
7. You simply pop the drain plug with your foot, reach for your towel and wait. (Occasionally, however, the cat will end up clinging to the top of your army helmet. If this happens, the best thing you can do is to shake him loose and to encourage him toward your leg.) After all the water is drained from the tub, it is a simple matter to just reach down and dry the cat.
8. In a few days the cat will relax enough to be removed from your leg. He will usually have nothing to say for about three weeks and will spend a lot of time sitting with his back to you. He might even become psychoceramic and develop the fixed stare of a plaster figurine.
9. You will be tempted to assume he is angry. This isn't usually the case. As a rule he is simply plotting ways to get through your defenses and injure you for life the next time you decide to give him a bath. But at least now he smells a lot better.
While funny, I found that the easiest way to bathe a cat is with two people. When I had roommates in college, I would grab their cat by the feet (front legs in one hand, back legs in the other) and walk into the bathroom. My roommate would turn on the bathtub faucet and prep the soap. I'd run the cat under the faucet, my roommate would soap him up, then I'd run him under the faucet again. The roommate would towel him off as best he could, then I'd throw the little bastard into the roommate's room and lock the door. By the next day, the cat was dry, and my shit didn't get sprayed with urine.
That was a weird cat, especially when I found digested used condoms in his litter box...
While funny, I found that the easiest way to bathe a cat is with two people. When I had roommates in college, I would grab their cat by the feet (front legs in one hand, back legs in the other) and walk into the bathroom. My roommate would turn on the bathtub faucet and prep the soap. I'd run the cat under the faucet, my roommate would soap him up, then I'd run him under the faucet again. The roommate would towel him off as best he could, then I'd throw the little bastard into the roommate's room and lock the door. By the next day, the cat was dry, and my shit didn't get sprayed with urine.
That was a weird cat, especially when I found digested used condoms in his litter box...
Drying a cat is the easy part... 2 minutes in the microwave gets the job done every time.
Suwannee Tim
11-23-11, 19:19
http://i486.photobucket.com/albums/rr228/allentimfrank/P1000774.jpg
Pedicus Magnus, the 26 toed cat. An ANSI (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_National_Standards_Institute) cat has only 18 toes.
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